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Directed by: Stuart Canterbury
Director of Photography: Kenny Gibb
Written by: Clinton Darke
Send a bunch of young men and women scientists up in a rocket to save the ozone layer and what do you get? An interstellar sex orgy, that's what. Instead of applying their brilliant minds to the problem at hand, our erotic astronauts pose the astronomically ambiguous question: Ever see a Red Giant go into a Black Hole? Prepare for blast off! In space no one can hear you cream. (taken from the 1993 VHS boxcover; even though the original won the AVN award for Best Boxcover Concept, New Machine has thrown it out in favor of a new one with Summer Knights on the cover and no synopsis on the back).
So, it’s 1993 and the international Earth summit (United Nations Conference on Environment and Development) has just met. Global warming is a problem, and it is apparently largely due to Western industrialism. What is the adult industry’s response? Rocket Girls, a goofy science fiction piece about a ship that, while on a mission to fix to the O-zone layer and thus save the Earth, gets infected with a lust-producing space virus (called “space fever” in the script) that has the crew more interested in other holes than the one in the O-zone. Amidst all of the predictable goofiness in the film, you put in a scene that sees a man sun-bathing nude with his female friend (Mike Horner and Victoria Paris) as they both lament that they will no longer be able to do this so freely in the future. You frame this all around the tale of a married couple (Horner and PJ Sparx), deriving your drama from the fact that the wife must risk their marriage to do her duty and go with the ship to fix the O-zone.
While the sentiment, if overly simplistic, is appreciated, the actual execution of the production is somewhat lacking. From the opening credits, what with its ultra-corny synthesizer-piano music and cheap star effects, you know that you are in for something that is going to be bad, corny, campy, or all three. However, the truth is that it is not the cheesy music, low-budget sets, regrettable special effects (the exterior shots of the spaceship will make you laugh), or bad acting that gets you on this one. It’s the sex. Simply put, there needs to be more of it. There is one solo masturbation scene, a girl/girl, and three boy/girls. Between the four boy/girls, there is probably a total of 6 minutes of actual fucking. So much time is devoted to foreplay in these four scenes that if you aren’t part of a couple you are clearly not the target audience for this film nor would you have been in ’93 when it first came out on VHS. This is a shame because first of all couples films do not have to be tame. More importantly, they have a great cast here, with PJ Sparx, Victoria Paris, Angela Summers, Tiffany Mynx, Porsche Lynn, Tracy Winn, and Summer Knights, but they’re all wasted, Sparx especially. In the lead role of Joanna, PJ teases us most of the film, looking great while doing it of course, but in the end, when it looks like we’re getting our big pay-off, all she does is briefly suck a dick before fucking a girl with a strap-on.
Scene 1: Victoria Paris w/Mike Horner (10 minutes)
There’s a party going on for Mike and PJ in the back yard of their impressive home, but neither of them are enjoying it. He knows she is about to go back up in space as a doctor on a ship for the government, and she is worried about his ability to remain faithful while she’s gone. She catches him staring at another girl, and then imagines him having sex with the very same girl (Victoria). In PJ’s nightmare, Horner and Paris are away from the party and fucking atop a rock structure that is next to their pool. Actually, it’s more like they make out and give each other oral sex for 8 minutes, and then he fucks her in missionary for all of 30 seconds. Mike does pop a pretty big load over Victoria’s face, though only a little lands on her face. Not having seen many true Victoria Paris facials, this part of the scene was at least enjoyable. Otherwise, this was too much build-up/too little pay-off for my tastes.
Scene 2: Angela Summers w/Steve Drake (10 minutes)
It’s 26 months later, and at this point we’ve briefly met the crew, including the captain and the two physicists (Porsche Lynn and Woody Long) who hate each other. All of a sudden, they encounter a Star Trek-like “if we don’t do this in the narrow window that is open for us, the earth is history” situation. The ship takes a direct hit from something (they don’t know what), and its immediate internal effects are depicted with the use of a smoke machine, a shaking camera, and actors that pretend as if the level floor has suddenly become tilted. However, when PJ inspects Porsche to make sure she is okay the demeanor of both women has clearly changed. They seem, well, horny. We then cut to Angela and Steve, presumably sometime later, having sex while floating through the air in the ship. Of course, the blue tint outlining both of their bodies is a small hint that they aren’t actually floating, not that you would be fooled. Angela is a really hot blonde with a great ass, but unfortunately this is her post-implants. She gives a slow blowjob, and they fuck in missionary for around a minute before he cums on her bush. Uh-oh. I have a very bad feeling that every scene in this film is going to be like this, what with the 8 minutes of foreplay and 1 minute of penetration. Hopefully, the other scenes have sound because this one didn’t; it just had music.
Scene 3: PJ Sparx (3 minutes)
PJ informs the captain that something is wrong with the crew, and he responds by demanding that she take her clothes off. She storms out, but it turns out it was harder for her to resist his demand than we though. She’s so turned on that she goes to the ship’s mess hall and immediately starts masturbating. After three minutes of her looking pretty and fake moaning, I think we’re supposed to believe that she gave herself an orgasm.
Scene 4: Porsche Lynn (rough face, hot body with killer abs, natural B cup, nipple rings) w/Woody Long (10 minutes)
Locked away in her quarters (which has four smoke machines hanging from its walls for some reason), blonde-haired Porsche is stripped down to a matching black bra and panties set along with black cowboy boots. She is furiously masturbating when Woody walks in. He calls her a bitch, and she says that she still hates him. However, they’d got to have it so they go at it…like two lovers. Whereas this scene has an interesting set-up that demands a pay-off in which the two performers just tear into each other, they go at it rather slowly with only a vague sense of urgency. They fuck in cowgirl and missionary, Porsche controlling the pace in the former and Woody in the latter. In the end, he drops a pretty big load on her face and chest, though the facial was almost obscured by all the smoke in her face. I did enjoy the fact that Porsche keeps her boots and lingerie on the whole scene, with her panties just pushed to the side. This scene is the best so far, but that’s not saying much.
Scene 5: Summer Knight (brunette, decent implants) and Tracy Winn (1993's Kinzie Kenner) (11 minutes)
Back on Earth, Victoria is befriending Mike, but he is not interested in her sexually. Instead, he is extremely worried about PJ, and finally realizing just how important her mission was. On the ship though, PJ is roaming the hallways and rooms, unable to go 5 steps without stopping and rubbing her pussy. She’s wearing black cowboy boots, a black thong, and a black shirt. She looks hot. Or at least I think she does. The lighting is so bad that it’s hard to see her. Randy is not handling the mysterious ailment much better. In his captain’s lounge, he finds himself fantasizing about two lather-clad brunettes (Summer and Traci) fucking each other in front of him. The girls, two of the many underappreciated performers from this era, look good, especially Tracy and her assless leather chaps. Similar to Porsche, Summer and Traci leaves their clothes on. They just free their breasts from the bras, push the panties to one side, and start licking and moaning through mutual masturbation then a 69. The capper, sharing a moderately thick but very long double-headed dildo, is pretty hot if overacted. Summer has an adorable moaning face. I watched this just because I find Summer and Traci hot. It wasn’t a complete waste of my time, but for many it would be.
Scene 6: PJ Sparx and Tiffany Mynx w/Randy West (11 minutes)
Oh, fuck. PJ is now wearing white lingerie equipped with a white thong, garters, and stockings. We see her from above and behind as she types at a computer, and man does her ass look great. At this point, she still has her senses somewhat and is trying to develop a vaccine with the aid of the computer. Halfway through this effort, she starts moaning uncontrollably. We cut to see Tiffany Mynx, who earlier in the film wore glasses and her hair up as the resident nerd of the crew, bent over Randy on the main deck and sucking his dick ever so slowly. PJ storms in through the retractable door in the background. She immediately walks around Tiffany, bends over directly in front of the camera (look at that ass again!), and starts sucking some dick. During this double blowjob, there are a couple of great ass shots, particularly one from behind Tiffany and PJ as they stand (bent over sucking cock of course) next to each other. Quickly, PJ becomes more interested in Tiffany than Randy, fetching a strap-on and fucking Ms. Mynx with it standing doggy style. This is a bad sign though. PJ’s sporting a strap-on. What are the chances Randy doesn’t fuck her at all now? Sure enough, he just plugs Tiffany’s ass in reverse cowgirl (talking anal sex here) and deposits his load all over her lower back. The fever is then cured, and we see PJ and Mike on their patio looking at each other lovingly. Hey, maybe we’ll get a love scene now because surely they aren’t going to end this thing without PJ having taken some dick? Oh, no. The credits are rolling now. Don’t think a PJ sex scene is going to happen in this one.
A Decent Menu, Slide Show, Trailers for 8 other releases
No problems with the audio. As for the video, it seems like a decent transfer that can’t make-up for lighting/smoke issues that are ultimately the fault of Stuart Canterbury. The lighting was only a problem from time to time, and the smoke wasn’t horrible but they definitely went overboard with it in some scenes.
To be honest with you, as the film rolled on I found myself enjoying it more and more. The sex gets progressively better, and PJ reveals more and more of her body until the very end. And though I was supremely disappointed with her level of sexual involvement in the final scene, it is partially explained with a sudden “So, Joanna, how exactly did you just cure all of us of the space fever?” conversation afterward. Plus, during the scene there are some fine shots of her ass that had me saluting. The finest ass going today belongs to Naomi, but from the time this film was made I have yet to find a star with a hotter derriere than PJ Sparx. Ger her in doggy style and you’d have something to grab onto and something hot to look down at if you follow. But I’m getting off track. Ultimately, this a goofy little porno that had the potential to be really hot but instead just gave us nice views of a certain star’s ass and a decent scene between Porsche Lynn and Woody Long. I'd buy it for around $7, or rent it for less. Otherwise, I'd want my money back.
About the Author:
I am an undergrad in college writing reviews of porn DVDs from time to time, hopefully giving you enough (sometimes overly serious) information to aid in porn shopping decisions. My favorite porn stars of all time are Avy Scott, Christy Canyon, and Taylor St. Claire. Among the active girls, I enjoy Naomi, Sunny Lane, Sara Stone, Harmony Rose, and Riley Mason. I also appreciate some of the stars of yesterday, particularly Taija Rae, Joanna Storm, Jacqueline Lorians, April West, PJ Sparx, Victoria Paris, Nikki Dial, and Zora Banks. As such, you could say I’m a brunette man, ass-man, and breast-man (implants almost always turn me off though). I avoid Max Hardcore, Ed Powers, Evasive Angles, JM Productions, and compilations like the plague. I keep track of new releases from Platinum X and Evil Angel as well as new-to-DVD classics from VCA and Caballero. When it comes to directors, I enjoy the vintage films from Henri Pachard, Paul Thomas, John Leslie, and John Stagliano whereas I currently enjoy the work being done by Chris Streams and Dirty Sanchez (Bangbros). My favorite porn films of all time include Sex Life of a Porn Star (1986), The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women 1 (2000), and The Fashionistas (2003).