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Return of Johnny Wadd, The (Adam & Eve)

Return of Johnny Wadd, The (Adam & Eve)

Studio: Adam & Eve
Category:  Classic , Feature film
Directed by:
Starring: , , , , , , , , , , ,
Released on: 
Where to buy:DVD NewDVD RentStreaming/Download
T0MBOne's ratings for Return of Johnny Wadd, The (Adam & Eve):
Overall Rating 1.5 stars
Return of Johnny Wadd, The (Adam & Eve) overall rating 1.5 stars
Female Looks Return of Johnny Wadd, The (Adam & Eve) Female looks rating 1.5 stars
Male Looks Return of Johnny Wadd, The (Adam & Eve) Male looks rating 1.5 stars
Sex Return of Johnny Wadd, The (Adam & Eve) Sex rating 2 stars
Plot/Acting Return of Johnny Wadd, The (Adam & Eve) Plot/Acting rating 1.5 stars
Extras Return of Johnny Wadd, The (Adam & Eve) DVD Extras rating 1.5 stars
Audio/Video Quality Return of Johnny Wadd, The (Adam & Eve) A/V Quality rating 1.5 stars
Rating Scale
Reviewed by T0MBOne  on  12/15/2008
"I guess it's true you can't go home again," says Johnny Wadd, who leaves a few diamonds and a goofy note for the female cop that helped him thwart the villians in the Return of Johnny Wadd. Shot on standard frame video in 1985, this John Holmes vehicle looks horribly washed out with muted colors. Meanwhile, Holmes gives a rather tired performance whether he's acting or screwing and most of the female talent look New Orleans drag queen-ugly due to the wretched perms and creepy eye shadow delivered by the make-up department. So, yea, Johnny Wadd should not have returned and you should not bother with bringing this disc home.

During the opening credits, Johnny Wadd (John Holmes) is driving then the action cuts to an scene from an entirely different movie with a starlette named Denise and Tony Tedeschi that has no reason being here except to pad the length of the Return of Johnny Wadd. Tony T does his usual schtick but Denise is very obnoxious. She's the kinda girl that you wanna kick outa bed after sex. This scene from another flick receives ! outa !!!!! because Denise has a nice body and neat two toned b/w heels.

Okay, so after that 13 or 14 minute scene, the real movie starts up again with Louis Camaro (Billy Dee) muff diving a gal (Lisa Melendez) in bed.

Cut to Johnny Wadd showing up at an office looking for his former secretary, Lila. Instead, he finds Lila's daughter, Kelly (Sheri St, Clair) at the helm.

Cut to Johnny Camaro and his gal screwing. Johnny comes her on pussy (! 1/2 outa !!!!!) then answers a phone call, discovers Johnny Wadd is back in town.

Cut to Wadd at the crime scene, the home of his murdered partner Warren North. A few thugs knock him out. Warren's neighbor, Geneva (Mai Lin) revives Wadd and tells him he should search for Warren's sister.

Cut to a dull girl/girl sex scene between Bunny Bleu and Melissa Melendez.

Cut to Wadd thanking Geneva then the two get together. Geneva stips then caresses her small breast with her long mauve colored finger nails.

Cut again to the g/g scene which just kinda peters out without a peter in sight. (! 1/2 outa !!!!!)

Cut to Wadd and Geneva on a really ugly couch where Geneva says "I guess those stories are true" when she reaches down into Wadd's pants. A blow job ensues. Wadd fingers Geneva lying naked across the couch. (+!, Mai Lin looks beautiful) Wadd pops her shoes off then sucks her pussy. The duo missionary screw with Geneva's foot stiffening in the air. Geneva twists her spine and props herself up during doggie-style then rides cowgirl. After more missionary with Geneva's legs spread wide, Wadd drops his load on Geneva's tummy. A solid scene (the best scene) with good chemistry between Holmes and Mai lin. Also, Mai Lin escapes the bad hair do and make-up faux pas and looks incredible---!!! 1/2 outa !!!!!

Wadd shows up while the g/g duo are playing Scrabble. Carol, the sister of Warren, gives Wadd a box of diamonds.

Back at the office, Wadd tells Kelly about the diamonds but says "Kelly, don't crowd me." Wadd leaves then she calls somebody named Ray.

Wadd sneaks up on someone tailing him and punches a female cop in the stomach near a dumpster. They talk and the cop, Margo (Kimberly Carson) agrees to wait in the wings.

Wadd returns to Kelly where Kelly tells him to bring her the diamonds. She also wants to know what Wadd is packing, which leads to a blowjob, a quick cut to clit licking with Kelly's nice boobs hanging out of her red dress. The duo missionary fuck then Wadd lifts Kelly up and takes off her dress, which reveals her tall thin frame. Doggie. More missionary then Wadd holds both her hands on both her boobs then comes on her tummy. Except for her hair, Shari St. Clair looks good in this scene and she and Holmes are okay together (!! 1/2 outa !!!!!)

Kelly tells Wadd to go to a party at Camaro's place. Wadd finds Carol and Jane tied up then gives them $10,000 to skip town.

Wadd returns to his hotel room where the cop Margo tells Wadd her life story. Wadd stiffly sits and barely listens. She stays put. Fade out.

A thug with an eye patch (Buck Adams) sucks a gal (Lisa Melendez) then screws her but stops halfway through (! 1/2 outa !!!!!) when his partner informs him that Wadd is at the party.

With a quick move, Wadd beats up Camaro and the two thugs at the party.

He walks in on Kelly and Ray after those two suck and fuck in bed (! 1/2 outa !!!!!)

The big and reveal and lame gun battle happens, which lands Margo and Wadd in bed at the hotel. The camera pans from the nightstand to Wadd sucking Margo's pussy. Light sax music plays while Wadd missionary and doggie fucks Margo. More missionary leads to a cumshot on the tummy and a fade to black. There's good chemistry between John Holmes and Kimberly Carson. Kim has small boobs with nice nipples but big bad hair and too much eye shadow (!! outa !!!!!)

Wadd leaves the note and a couple of diamonds for Margo, then dispenses of the rest of the diamonds by sending them to a nun at an orphanage in Chicago. Uhg!

The Return of Johnny Wadd has a few extras including Buck Adamas sans the eye patch in a scene with Tesse Ferre (!! outa !!!!!) Some pix and a few trailers are the rest of the DVD extras.

The Return of Johnny Wadd is below average John Holmes. I haven't seen the other Johnny Wadd movies but other Holmes features from the classic era like the Senator's Daughter (!!! outa !!!!!) and Eruption (!!! outa !!!!!) are a heckuvalot more fun than this tired 75 minute video made into a 90 minute affair thanks to "creative" editing. Final rating of ! 1/2 outa !!!!!

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