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Real Tits (Adam & Eve)
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Real Tits (Adam & Eve)

Studio: Adam & Eve
Category:  Busty
Starring: , , , , , , , , , ,
Released on: 
Where to buy:DVD NewDVD RentStreaming/Download
Domina (SGPC)'s ratings for Real Tits (Adam & Eve):
Overall Rating 0 stars
Real Tits (Adam & Eve) overall rating 0 stars
Female Looks Real Tits (Adam & Eve) Female looks rating 3.5 stars
Male Looks Real Tits (Adam & Eve) Male looks rating 1.5 stars
Sex Real Tits (Adam & Eve) Sex rating 1.5 stars
 
Plot/Acting Real Tits (Adam & Eve) Plot/Acting rating 1/2 star
Extras Real Tits (Adam & Eve) DVD Extras rating 1/2 star
Audio/Video Quality Real Tits (Adam & Eve) A/V Quality rating 1/2 star
Rating Scale
Reviewed by Domina (SGPC)  on  1/22/2005
Real Tits (2003) USA
Review by Domina
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Format: DVD, 1 Disk
Studio: Adam & Eve Productions
Running Time: 127 mins.
Scenes: 10 + 1 bonus scene
Language: English

Produced by Ms. Divine

Cast: Nikita Denise, Ava Vincent, Dee, Taylor St. Claire, Alexandra Silk, Jesse V, Aurora Snow, Jasmine Klein, Flick Shagwell, Nefertiti, Jenna Haze, Dale DeBone, Jay Ashley, Steve Hatcher, Chris Canon, Julian St. Jox, Mickey G., Ian Daniels, Evan Stone, Billy Glide, Stephen St. Croix.

Intended Audience: Hetro Couples?
Content: Softcore sex, oral, genital, story scenerios between hetro couples.

Where's the Beef?

Synopsis

An absolutely terrible porn flick, this movie blatantly deceives the purchaser with promises that remain unfulfilled and are pure false advertising. There is no special attention paid to tits, breasts, big bouncy, perky or otherwise in this DVD. The production quality is poor, the action ponderous and uninspired, the lighting nauseous. I would have been pissed, had I spent my dollars on it.

Review

I was tremendously disappointed in this film. After all, Adam & Eve Productions have a pretty good reputation as being a high quality studio with bestsellers like Nina Hartley and Candida Royalle. Many of their films are geared to straight couples and tend to be softcore, sex-positive, and less graphic with an emphasis on foreplay. I guess their intended audience is couples, but this film did not appeal to either myself or my SO the Gladiator. I don't intend to speak for all couples, as tastes in porn can be widely various, but the sex in this film was pretty bland. It categorizes itself as a "busty" film, but if you are a tit enthusiast, you'll be disappointed to find no tit play in this DVD at all, and only two girl's who have C+ cup sizes.

I have to quote the back cover of this DVD to let you know what I expected to find inside. It reads:

"If you like 'em big and bouncy or perky and sweet, here's a hooter feast for your tit-crazy eyes! From big, jiggly jugs (Taylor St. Claire) to ripe, budding breasts (Jenna Haze), each little sexpot is naturally stacked with a mouthful of milky melon in every shape and size!"

Now, tell me if I'm wrong, but from this description one would expect to see lots of tit action, right? I mean, I'm expecting a "hooter feast" of big, bouncy, budding breasts. Where's the tits? The tits are natural. Yes. But barely busty, and you scarcely see them throughout each of the ten scenarios, with very little attention is paid to them what-so-ever. Some nipples get a few quick nibbles before the oral action starts, but truly there is more time spent on kissing than tit play.

"Real Tits" also boasts "wicked 3-ways, deep anal encounters, sex in public, and kinky interracial!" Whoa! Where was I when all this happened? I know I didn't sleep through it, although I sure as hell wanted to. The 3-way action they are referring to is a girl-girl-boy scene (the only one in the film as the rest are single couples) with Jasmine Klein, Ian Daniels and Flick Shagwell (what a horrible name!). Neither of the girls in this scene are anything to brag about which is perhaps why they were put together, figuring two Ugly Stepsisters would make up for not having one Cinderella. There is a little bit of oral here between Ugly Stepsisters 1 & 2, but it is mostly a yawn. On the topic of looks, none of the men in this film would turn any heads either, which begs the question, is it really for couples?

I saw absolutely no anal on this DVD, or sex in public, and the kinky interracial must have been the scene between Nefertiti and Julian St. Jox, an African American couple who are definitely not kinky. Perhaps they don't know the definition of "interracial"?

The production quality is low. By this I mean the lighting is atrocious, and tries to be artsy by juxtaposing blue and orange gelled lights, which end up turning the performer's skintones into horrible pumpkin jaundiced colours. Other times it is barely lit at all and the action is flat and dull. The shot selection is poor as there are way too many long shot that keep the viewer out of the action, and just as many fizzy out-of-focus close-ups shot from difficult angles, which doesn't allow the viewer access once again. They also used a wide angle lens which warped the image slightly, making the scene look like it was shot through a distorted mirror, in which it is pinched. Much of the action is in cheesy slow-motion, the sound quality not great, and the jazz music annoying. I won't bore you with a break down of scenes. But, I'll end by saying, "Save your money and avoid this title!"

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