|Where to buy:||Streaming/Download|
Stars: nobody you ever heard of.
Running time: 1 hour 55 minutes
There's a lot of complaining on the forums about what's killing porn, and many people say it's piracy. It isn't: it's bad porn. A few people will buy tons, but most of us have budgets and it comes down to buying something when wifey's away for the weekend, or there's a bachelor party, or you got a little extra cash and the bills aren't due. So you pick up something that looks like it might be good, but instead you get something shitty. What happens the next time you got a few extra bucks? Do you take a chance, or do you spend it something else instead? Something where you don't feel gipped afterward?
This is bad porn.
It starts off with trailers for other videos, with the fast-forward/chapter skip disabled so you can't flip past them. Now I often watch trailers because a) I might be intersted in other titles and b) a good trailer can be as hot as the feature. But a) these suck and b) I don't want to be FORCED to watch them.
If you sit down to watch a porn, it's a safe assumption that you're horny or you want to get horny. I don't know very many people who want to get their jerk on when they're pissed off at the DVD. Forcing me to watch a trailer, even a good one, doesn't put me in a good mood.
The main content are 15 scenes with 15 different girls, all riding a Sybian. If you don't already know, a Sybian is a dildo mounted on a vibrator that sits on the floor, so the girl has to sit or straddle herself on it. It's got a remote to vary the intensity, and it sounds like a model airplane motor when it runs.
Each scene is one girl. They're mostly the same--they're all thin, small breasted, and 20something. Most are white. The scenes are mostly the same. The girls usually start out sitting on the Sybian, and then it starts. Orgasm. Whether they're "real" depends on how skeptical you are.
Production values: pretty lame. It looks like it was shot in the back corner of someone's garage on the same afternoon. There's one hand-held camera, a guy running the Sybian, and someone else (off camera) shooting stills with a flash, just to make it more annoying. Except for a couple, each scene has one chapter stop. The whole thing looks like it was shot, edited, mastered and put in the mail in the same day.
Final verdict: Ever watch the reality show PAWN STARS, about the pawn shop? This looks like something Chumlee would have made. It was done cheap, fast and with no real interest in anything except making a fast buck. If you want girls on Sybians, there are far better alternatives.