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astroknight Real Housewives of South Beach XXX 1.5 starsReal Housewives of South Beach XXX 1.5 starsReal Housewives of South Beach XXX 1.5 stars
Rosco Fuji Real Housewives of South Beach XXX 2 starsReal Housewives of South Beach XXX 2 starsReal Housewives of South Beach XXX 2 stars
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Real Housewives of South Beach XXX

Studio: Pleasure Dynasty
Category:  Feature film , Reality Porn
Directed by:
Starring: , , , , , , ,
Released on: 
Where to buy:DVD NewDVD RentStreaming/Download
T0MBOne's ratings for Real Housewives of South Beach XXX:
Overall Rating 2.5 stars
Real Housewives of South Beach XXX overall rating 2.5 stars
Female Looks Real Housewives of South Beach XXX Female looks rating 3 stars
Male Looks Real Housewives of South Beach XXX Male looks rating 2.5 stars
Sex Real Housewives of South Beach XXX Sex rating 3 stars
 
Plot/Acting Real Housewives of South Beach XXX Plot/Acting rating 2 stars
Extras Real Housewives of South Beach XXX DVD Extras rating 1.5 stars
Audio/Video Quality Real Housewives of South Beach XXX A/V Quality rating 3 stars
Worth$10.00
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Reviewed by T0MBOne  on  3/11/2012
After the noon news, I've watched some episodes of Real Housewives in syndication. Since it's ripe for parody, THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF SOUTH BEACH XXX (2011, Pleasure Dynasty) deserved a look. Let's just say that all the fighting and bitching disappears from this XXX parody as these ladies are lovers, not fighters, and they play so well with others that they share each other, husbands, etc.

Director Dana Dane captures the action with wide shots that mostly allow the performers to move about in frame and that's a plus. However, the writing for this parody is pretty lazy; the set-ups aren't much as a housewife introduces each scene but not much else. For example, housewife Marysol (Joslyn James) introduces the last scene but fails to appear in it.

Still, I enjoyed the porn new comers as Joslyn James appears to be the only gal who has been around awhile. Meanwhile, both male performers are surprisingly pleasant in terms of good looks and screen presence. Wide screen. No condoms. About 90 minutes in length.

A few minutes of housewife intros precede the main title.

Christy (Latina Bebe Mendez) knows what will cure Marysol (Joslyn James) who is a bit stressed these days: it's a roll in the sack with a black fella, Jack Fantasy. (Joslyn looks great in a pale blue dress and pale shoes worn in bed but the dress comes off for the straight sex stuff, which means the viewer gets more than a gander at all her weird tatts. Light Latin music vibe mixed with the natural sounds of the performers are a plus as Jack gets a bit chatty. A weak cum shot for the finale concludes this otherwise well-staged opening sex scene---!!!)

Lea (cute tanned blonde Alexia) complains that Alexia (pale blonde Valerie Fox) follows her wherever she goes. No matter, she allows her to give her a massage that leads to girl/girl action. (Standard stuff with fingering and twat sucking on the massage table leading to the duo landing on the floor---!!)

Adriana (buxom, dark haired Emanuelle London) and her hubby (Jack Cummings) check out a yacht and put the bedroom to the test. (Jack and Emanuelle engage in a solid bedroom straight sex encounter with her big bald pussy being a plus here. Her long legs go up in the air for a mishing that leads to a cum shot dropped on her tummy for the finale of this well-shot scene---!!! 1/2)

Larsia (busty Loni Evans with short black hair) brings Christy a present-a pink dildo-that the duo forget about during their sucking and fingering fest on a couch. (It's a better girl/girl scene with the duo comfy on the couch---!! 1/2)

Marysol decides she needs a man but what we get is Adriana's birthday present, a three-way tryst between her, her hubby and Larsia on the yacht. (The trio of Emanuelle, Jack and Loni return for a solid three way in a corner couch area of the yacht that appears to be in a harbor at dusk. Loni climbing into the couch for a sort of upright 69 gets things going as the gals alternate in straight sex positions until the pop shot on their boobs. Director Dane captures the good chemistry between performers in solid wide shots---!!! 1/2)

Extras are scant: a 9 minute BTS plus each housewife has her own brief photo gallery.

So, THE REAL HOUSWIVES OF SOUTH BEACH XXX (2011, Pleasure Dynasty) tones down the obnoxious behavior that pervades the reality shows. What we get is a lackadaisical collection of sexual encounters with housewife intros but not much else in terms of set-up. Future editions of this parody should make more of an attempt to tie these scenes together in even a slight narrative. Until then, this bitchy house hubby critic can only muster up a !! 1/2 outta !!!!! for THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF SOUTHBEACH XXX.



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