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Private Gold 81: Porn Wars
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Private Gold 81: Porn Wars

Studio: Private
Category:  Feature film , Foreign
Directed by:
Starring: , , , , ,
Released on: 
Where to buy:DVD NewDVD RentStreaming/Download
astroknight's ratings for Private Gold 81: Porn Wars:
Overall Rating 4 stars
Private Gold 81: Porn Wars overall rating 4 stars
Female Looks Private Gold 81: Porn Wars Female looks rating 4.5 stars
Male Looks Private Gold 81: Porn Wars Male looks rating 3.5 stars
Sex Private Gold 81: Porn Wars Sex rating 3.5 stars
 
Plot/Acting Private Gold 81: Porn Wars Plot/Acting rating 4 stars
Extras Private Gold 81: Porn Wars DVD Extras rating 4.5 stars
Audio/Video Quality Private Gold 81: Porn Wars A/V Quality rating 4.5 stars
Worth$20.00
Rating Scale
Reviewed by astroknight  on  2/16/2007

The Little Details

Running Time: 116 min.

Production Date: 07 / 2006

Director: Kovi

Cast: Liz Honey, Mya Diamond, Niky Rider, Sandra Parker, Tera Bond, Victoria Swinger, Antonio Ross, Drifter, Horst Baron, and Lauro De Giotto

The Short Story

Initial Expectations: Private looks like they're pulled out all the stops here, and that's normally a very good thing. I can't help but have very high hopes for this release.

Initial Reaction: It's the perfect movie to introduce Star Wars fans to sex!

Who Should Watch It : Fans of porn and science fiction

Who Should Avoid It: Anybody who doesn't like anal

The Technical Stuff

Audio /Video Quality: The technical aspects are well done. The audio is pretty clear, but there are a few times when the balance seems just a touch off. Since the performers here actually speak English throughout the movie, although often with heavy accents, this makes some of it very hard to understand. The video is nicely presented in anamorphic widescreen. It's well lit throughout the movie, and the camera work is very smooth. There's a soft look to the movie, but it seems more than anything like it might be trying to approximate the look of film.

Music: The music is excellent. It's nicely reminiscent of John Williams' original score as well as mixing in some more fun styles. It's very well balanced with the rest of the audio and definitely helps out the overall movie.

Menus: The main menu is very nicely done with a bit of animation, a clip form the movie, and a still. The chapter menu is sadly generic, and just lets you choose a scene based on a small clip of each scene and a scene number.

The Feature

The universe is at war between the Seth and the Jodi warriors. While things might have been fairly balanced at one time, the Seth now have the Jodi warriors on the run and hiding out in bases that they're wiping out one by one. They Jodi are training hard, and think they might be able to gain a little ground very soon.

Scene 1 – Sandra Parker and Antonio Ross

When left to practice their Jodi skills alone, Antonio removes blonde Sandra's closes with his Jodi skills. He gives her his shirt so she doesn't get cold, but she tosses it off and kisses his chest and stomach as he walks around her checking her out. Antonio kisses her chest as well before letting her suck his nipples a little while groping his cock through his pants. He has Sandra suck his cock and she adds in a little titty fucking as well before he fucks her from behind. She gets up to impale her ass on Antonio's cock reverse cowgirl style while pumping her pussy with a dildo before letting him pile drive her ass. He also works Sandra's toys between her holes and lets her show some nice gapes before finally popping on her gaping asshole and pussy.

This is a pretty good opening scene. The start is a lot of fun, and I like how Sandra goes after him while he checks her out a bit. Sandra does a fantastic job taking it in the ass, and really puts out some nice gapes. She chemistry is a bit hit or miss throughout the scene, and although the action is nicely captured there's a couple places the editing feels a touch rough. The scene was also held back a little for me by Sandra's mole piercing, which is an incredibly turn off for me. Still, this is a pretty good scene that nicely got me in the mood for more.

Scene 2 – Mya Diamond and Horst Baron

Horst uses his dark powers to make hot brunette Mya obey his commands after he bests her in battle. She drops down and starts sucking his cock before lying back so he can prepare her pussy with his tongue and fingers. Horst gets up to fuck Mya missionary style before letting her get on top for a reverse cowgirl ride. He also spears Mya's shitpussy from behind and fucks her tits before cumming on them.

This is a hot scene. I like the lightsaber fight before the scene and the “dark powers” to make Mya do his bidding. Mya looks great and gets into the action very well here, and makes the anal look just as easy as the vag action. They mix up the positions nicely, and I like the titty fucking at the end of the scene. This is a hot scene that's nicely done.

Scene 3 – Liz Honey, Niky Rider, and Drifter

When brunette Niky and dirty blonde Liz find Drifter near death in an underground base, they use their Jodi powers to heal him before teaming up on him to check how physically good of shape he's in. They share a kiss before Liz drops her top so he can suck her tits. She moves down to kiss at his cock through his pants as they continue to play around before the girls team up on him orally. Liz breaks away so Drifter can eat her holes as Niky puts her throat to good use on his cock before moving back down to go straight to the A riding him cowgirl style while giving Niky's ass a little tongue attention. The girls both make sure to suck Drifter's cock clean as he cornholes Liz, and Niky gets a nice mustache ride as well before taking her turn on Drifter's cock reverse cowgirl style with Liz mixing in a little extra oral attention. Liz slides her ass back on Drifter's cock for a reverse cowgirl ride before letting Niky ride him cowgirl style as she mixes in a bit of ass licking. Liz continues so work on Niky orally eating her pussy as Drifter manages the energy to get up and fuck her ass doggie style. Finally, Drifter lets go with a nice pop over Liz's back that Niky licks up.

This is a great scene. There's great chemistry all around, and the girls look fantastic. There's a slight edge to Liz during the scene, but also nothing wrong with the job Niky does. The girls both show a great enthusiasm throughout the scene, with Liz showing some great anal action complete with the ass to mouth action. This is a very hot group scene, and easily my favorite in the movie.

Scene 4 – Tera Bond and Lauro De Giotto

Brunette Tera decides to try using the “nice way” to get information out of Lauro, starting with stripping down a bit, running a toy around herself, and rubbing his cock through his pants. She drops down to stroke his cock vigorously while making faces at him before letting him sit back and stroke himself as she gives him a little strip tease. Tera moves in to ride him cowgirl style before sucking his cock. She hops back on for another cowgirl ride, and makes sure they each get a little oral attention before climbing back on for a reverse cowgirl ride. Lauro licks her pussy a bit before spooning it, and they keep mixing in the oral action as he fucks Tera from behind. Finally, Lauro lets go with a nice load over Tera's back and ass.

This is a pretty good scene. Tera definitely turns out a good fuck, but her facial expressions during the handjob was so laughable that it almost threw me out of the entire scene. The expressions come back a bit as they fuck, but thankfully never get quite as bad as early in the scene. She puts out some very nice energy and good vocals as she and Lauro work each other over, and I like how they mix in plenty of oral action throughout the scene. This is a pretty hot scene that recovered well from an early stumbling block.

Scene 5 – Mya Diamond and Victoria Swinger

After Mya brings information to dirty blonde head bitch Victoria, Victoria has her drop to her knees to begin her reward. Mya starts eating Victoria from the front before laying back and letting Victoria tongue her twat and work on it with a clear dildo. Victoria lies back and hoists her ass in the air for Mya to lick and fuck it with a toy in return before they both grind their gashes against the toy together. Finally, the girls share a nice kiss.

This is a pretty hot scene. The girls look to get into each other pretty good, and there's a decent mix to the action. It's a touch heavy on the toys, but I like how they kept the toy in play grinding on each other at the end. Girl – girl scenes are pretty hit or miss for me, but this one worked pretty well.

Scene 6 – Tera Bond, Victoria Swinger, Antonio Ross, and Horst Baron

When Antonio and Tera challenge Victoria and Horst to a sexual battle, they split up and help their adversaries strip down. Tera starts out sucking Horst's cock while Antonio eats Victoria out. Tera impales her ass on Horst's cock reverse cowgirl style as Antonio comes up to fuck Victoria missionary style before they trade partners so Horst can spoon Victoria as Tera sucks Antonio's cock and lets him fuck her from behind. The guys also double team Victoria cowgirl style as Tera rides Horst's face. Finally, Antonio pops on Victoria's ass and Tera sucks Horst to a pop in her mouth that she deposits on Victoria's cunt.

This is a hot final scene. Everybody gets into the action quite well, and there's good chemistry all around. I was a little disappointed that Tera didn't take a DP to match Victoria's, but she does do a great job with the anal early in the scene. For being the big climactic “battle” scene, it also seemed a bit short, and seemed like it should have went on much longer. This is a hot scene, but it could have been even hotter with this cast.

Porn Wars is a fun porn parody that shows a lot of effort. The plot is pretty good, and works in some very nice Star Wars style setups while at the same time feeling like it's something a bit new. There's some nicely done special effects throughout the movie, and some of them even come off as better than in the original Star Wars. I really like how Kovi added in creatures walking past or spaceships flying past even during the sex, and some of the outer space scenes and set animations were also nicely impressive. Drifter's scene with Nikky Rider and Liz Honey was easily the best in the movie for me, but there wasn't a single scene that fell below the average level. That isn't to say that I didn't have any problems with it, as Tera Bond just didn't do much for me. She had some really funky facial expressions, and combining that with some heavily accented English that was hard to understand at times (although infinitely better than bad dubbing) did hold Porn Wars back for me a little at times. That said, Porn Wars is an enjoyable porno that nicely works in plenty of hot anal sex.

The Extra Stuff

A second DVD is devoted to extras. Trailers are included for Porn Wars, Freestyle Sex, Girl Girl Studio, The Private Life of Niky Rider, Sex City 2Draculya. The movie photobook includes about thirty great looking snapshots and full screen photos while the backstage photobook includes nine great looking full screen photos. Profiles are included for Liz Honey, Mya Diamond, Niky Rider, Sandra Parker, Tera Bond, and Victoria Swinger with each girl getting a photo and a Private filmography. There's also a few behind the scenes featurettes and website information.

The Photo Session with Roxanne lasts four minutes and comes from Porn Wars 2 in non-anamorphic widescreen. Like most photo shoot featurettes, there's some heavy music here as the girls pose for their stills. Unlike many other featurettes like this, however, you actually get to see many of the finished photos. This is a nicely done photo shoot featurette.

The featurette lasts three and a half minutes and is presented in non-anamorphic widescreen. This featurette is also a photo shoot featurette with heavy music, but concentrates on the first Porn Wars movie. This is another nicely done featurette with plenty of eye candy and some good behind the scenes action.

The behind the scenes featurette lasts almost forty two minutes and is presented in non-anamorphic widescreen. After a little talk about the inspiration and popularity of science fiction, Kovi talks about the months of preparation it took to make Porn Wars. The cast, who's nicely identified throughout the featurette, also talks about the movie as it works through the shooting, the script, and costume design. There's some nice attention given to the casting complete with a few words from each of the performers as well as Kovi, the shooting of the scenes, and the special effects. There's roughly the same time spent with the computer effects as there was with the sex, which seems like a good thing with how much effort was put into them. This is a very nicely done behind the scenes featurette.

The Down -n- Dirty Sex Stuff

Themes: Straight, titty fucking, anal, toys, DP, group, lesbian, and rimming (male > female and female > female)

Raincoat Factor: Medium

Condom Usage: None

The Bottom Line:

Currently, many of Private's DVDs can be found online for between about $15 and $32 with a few stores offering them for under $20. If you're a fan of the movies this is obviously based on, this one's going to be well worth your money. The movie's fun, has some good sex, and special effects that are close to the original. The technical aspects are nicely done and there's also plenty of effort put into the extras. This is a very nice DVD that definitely has me wanting to see the rest of this trilogy.

Note to Private: I'll admit that there was a little part of me that was scared of this one. Thank you for not being afraid of a big budget so you could do this one right and alleviate those fears.

If you have any questions or comments, please e-mail me .

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