Director: Alessandro Del Mar
Running time: 1:46
The basic plot of the movie is as follows… In early 18th century London, Robinson (George Uhl) kills a man during a fight and leaves for New York to escape prosecution. The ship, however, crashes off the coast of Brazil and Robinson is the lone survivor of the wreck as he washes ashore.
Robinson is left only with some basic materials such as a writing instrument, a book to record his diary during his 8-year stay on the island, and a gun. It’s too bad he forgot to pack a collection of The Private Life of… DVD’s for his journey. Let that be a lesson to travelers --- don’t forget essentials.
Eight years have elapsed on the island and Robinson passes the time by writing and walking but is never too far from the haunting images of the face of his victim. Suddenly, we see pirates who traffic in slaves on the same island having sex on the beach (see below for details) and their captive black female slave (played by Yokasta) frees herself and escapes while the pirates have sex.
Robinson encounters the slave and they hook up. He names her Sunday because that is the day of their 1st sexual experience. The pirates continue their search but are also searching for treasure with a map. I know, cue the clichés. The treasure is found by the pirates as Robinson and Sunday watch hidden from view.
When the option presents itself, Robinson and Sunday drag Jennifer away from the pirates though Jennifer’s husband was slain prior. The 3 of them row away on the pirate’s rowboat and they reach safety. Robinson is rewarded for his rescue of Jennifer with 500,000 British pounds and lives a life of splendor with Jennifer, his new lover.
As for the 7 sex scenes, I was a little lost as to the cast and that is why I’m not providing more detail but here goes…
The 1st scene is a flashback of Robinson’s heartier times in London and the scene is with him, another guy and two girls in a pub, one of whom is Nikki Blond. It was a very average scene.
The 2nd scene was a dream sequence that Robinson had to pass the time on the island. While Silvia Saint and another girl are kissing, licking and fingering each other on a bed, Lucy Love is giving a blow job to Robinson by the side of the bed. This was a below average scene. I need to see Silvia back doing boy/girl scenes again before I can get excited by her again, especially if this over dramatic lesbian stuff is all she has to offer.
Four slave traders, which by happenstance turn out to be 2 females and 2 males, while on leave from their ship do the nasty on the beach. This was another average sex scene that didn’t stand out for any reason other than there is anal for both girls and some DP action. I think the girls were played by Nikki Rider and Yvonne Peach.
The 4th scene is Robinson and Yokasta doing the nasty together for the 1st time. This was the worst sex scene so far as I quickly fast forwarded.
The next sex scene is Jennifer Stone and her husband as prisoners of the pirates having sex with a male and female pirate on the island. Evidently, Jennifer and her husband had to agree to the sex as a condition of the 2 pirates accepting their bribe of a life of luxury in France if they help the prisoners escape. Any scene with the lovely Jennifer is a good scene, especially if she gives up the butt and here she does as well as the female pirate.
Next up we have the pirate captain and Angel Dark, a fellow pirate, taking a break on the island for sex. Angel looks great as usual as she gets analized in RCG and standing doggie. This was still an average scene missing sparks and heat.
The last sex scene is Robinson and Jennifer in a 4-way wit Robinson’s best friend and his lover. Only fitting that this was another average scene that lacked heat.
Production values / DVD authoring:
The audio/video quality was sharp as well as the cinematography. The DVD main menu has an option that lets you jump right to any of the 7 sex scenes. Also, the DVD has a language menu where you can pick from any of 5 spoken languages as an overdub for the dialogue and 3 other written languages for subtitles.
The 2nd disc holds all the extras and there are many but they don’t elevate this feature any higher, which is a shame. The exclusive extra scene was supposedly an off-camera sex scene between a male and female star while filming of the 1st sex scene was occurring a few feet away. However, the scene had a strong orchestrated feel to it and it was not as spontaneous as we were led to believe.
There was also a “making of” segment as well as a “behind the scenes” segment. Also, there were interviews with the cast and director, Alessandro Del Mar. Overall, the extras came across as too glossy and not spontaneous as I like them to be.
When it comes to porn features, I don’t have high expectations for the storyline and acting. I’m looking for a decent enough plot structure and where the sex scenes fit in rather nicely as the story moves along. While the plot for Robinson Crusoe moved along decently, the sex scenes were more of a disruptive nature than pleasant surprises. The problem with the sex scenes in this feature was that the performers were only too aware of the camera and didn’t make me believe in the sex action as it was going on. This attention to the camera doesn’t work in a feature but it does in the gonzo world.
In closing, if you have liked the other features from Private, then you might want to consider this as a rental. But if you have no experience with features let alone from Private, there are others that were better than this.
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