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Porn-O-Matic 2000
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Porn-O-Matic 2000

Studio: Wicked
Category:  Comedy , Couples , Feature film
Directed by:
Starring: , , , , , , , , , ,
Released on: 
Where to buy:DVD NewDVD RentStreaming/Download
astroknight's ratings for Porn-O-Matic 2000:
Overall Rating 4 stars
Porn-O-Matic 2000 overall rating 4 stars
Female Looks Porn-O-Matic 2000 Female looks rating 4 stars
Male Looks Porn-O-Matic 2000 Male looks rating 3.5 stars
Sex Porn-O-Matic 2000 Sex rating 3.5 stars
 
Plot/Acting Porn-O-Matic 2000 Plot/Acting rating 5 stars
Extras Porn-O-Matic 2000 DVD Extras rating 5 stars
Audio/Video Quality Porn-O-Matic 2000 A/V Quality rating 5 stars
Worth$25.00
Rating Scale
Reviewed by astroknight  on  12/17/2000

Running Time: 83 min.

Production Date: 06 Feb. 2000

Director: Jonathan Morgan

Cast: Alexa (Rae), Temptress, Bridgette Kerkove, Kaylynn, Olivia, Tasha Hunter, Jonathan Morgan, Brad Armstrong, Byron Long, Guy DiSilva, Dick Tracy, and Anthony Crane

Initial Expectations: With movies like Double Feature! and Sex, Lies, and the President itís almost impossible to not like Jonathan Morgan. He always seems to put a smile on my face lately, or at least his movies do. I have no reason but to expect another extremely funny movie with great sex. Wicked normally does a great job on their transfers and extras, so Porn-o-matic 2000 should get a very good treatment.

Initial Reaction: Pretty typical Jonathan Morgan stuff, so itís a lot of really funny stuff thatís done well in addition to the great sex.

Audio /Video Quality: Excellent. This is nothing new for Wicked, who puts out some of the best transfers out there on their new titles.

Music: Thereís a wide range of music and it fits the scenes well.

Review: Porn is great, but thereís a problem, as Tipper will tell you. Thereís just too much of it out there. Thankfully, there is now a solution, although it might not be what Tipper was thinking of. Itís the Porn-o-matic 2000 and itís the featured product on todayís Amazing New Products show hosted by Mary Jo Maplewood (Alexa) and Bob Adsit (Anthony Crane). Unlike most infomercials, but fairly common for Jonathan Morganís features, the picture alternates between color and black and white and even goes widescreen at times. I know what youíre thinking. It canít be! But it is! The Porn-o-matic has 59% less dialogue than the average adult tape. Just watch as Bob demonstrates how the Porn-o-matic 2000 works. You just put in the ingredients for what you want in a scene, and the video tape comes out the other end with the scene ready to go. Hopefully the Porn-o-matic 2001 comes out soon which does DVDs. Of course, itís probably a smart marketing move as most people who watch infomercials arenít smart enough to have bought a DVD player yet.

Bob first demonstrates with a bellhop cap for a horny bellhop and a key to an empty room. The Porn-o-matic 2000 shoots out a scene with Jonathan Morgan and Olivia. Olivia doesnít have a reservation and the hotel Jonathan works at is out of rooms. Of course, sheíll do anything to get a room, so Jonathan provides a way for her to earn it. This is a pretty good scene, but I really donít care for Olivia. Her face is kind of cute, but as Alexa puts it in the commentary, her boobs enter the room before she does. Iím guessing that it takes a good thirty seconds for her body to catch up. She has some of the most grotesque breasts I have ever seen. Even Sana Fey in Double Feature! was better proportioned. Furthermore, Olivia has an entire pawn shop below her belt, as Jonathan says in the commentary. I donít have anything against piercings, but she goes as overboard with her piercings as she did with her boob job. Itís really too bad, because she could be quite attractive if she didnít go to such extremes with her body.

Next, Bob throws in a feather boa and an afro wig for some soul food and a cheap hooker. Out comes a seventies scene with Tasha, Byron, and Guy. The lead in is pretty good too, with Dick Tracy playing Tashaís pimp. Heís about to get rough on her when Guy and Byron break things up. Of course, she has to repay them. Although I donít care for inter-racial scenes, Tashaís enthusiasm for the scene really raises it up a notch. Sheís wanted to take on two black guys, and it shows. The way Tasha was getting into it, I even expected her to take the double penetration after she started taking it anally, but she doesnít. Iím afraid that if she did, Guy and Byron would have ripped her apart.

Of course, you have to have testimonials. Every good product has testimonials. The Porn-o- matic 2000 has testimonials from a divorced housewife and an unemployed former rap star (once again played by Jonathan Morgan). As with the rest of the plot scenes, theyíre hilarious. The housewife scene is a little straighter, but Morgan has a lot of fun as the rapper.

Back in the studio, Bob pushes the Porn-o- matic 2000 to the limit. Now, itís time to see how the Porn-o-matic 2000 does with lesbian scenes. This gets Mary Jo going, and sheís even more interested when Bob starts mentioning sex toys before stuffing the Porn-o-matic 2000 full of sex toys. I know that I donít mention Mary Jo Maplewood (Alexa) much, but sheís mostly in a supporting role. She ever bit as good as Anthony, but she only has about one line to Anthonyís four or five. The amazing Porn-o-matic 2000 can hold up to 300 lesbian devices! Iím not sure that even Jim Holliday could use that many sex toys in a scene. The Porn-o-matic 2000 gives us Alexa and Kaylynn as college girls. Alexaís boyfriend gave her some sex toys for her birthday and sheís not quite sure how to use them. Luckily, Kaylynn has some experience and is willing to show Alexa how they work. Both girls are great in their role as co-eds, but the scene isnít as hot as it should be. Most of this seems to be because of Kaylynn. Alexa does a great job, but thereís just something missing here.

Dick Tracy returns as an overweight member of the studio audience. Luckily, Bob points out that you can lose a lot of weight just by watching one three way prison scene. Bob enters the necessary items for two horny prison guards and one very naughty criminal. Alexa and Temptress are the horny prison guards and Brad Armstrong is naughty prisoner #6969. I thought that this was the best scene in the movie. Thereís great chemistry between the three of them, and they put the bunk beds to full use. Everybody really seems to be enjoying themselves and the commentary and behind the scenes has some great stuff with this scene. The only thing missing is anal and a little bit of handcuff usage. Afterwards we see a slim, trim, Dick Tracy

Finally, Bob makes one last demonstration. At this point I think Anthony was about to overdose on caffeine. It looked like Alexa had all she could do to try and keep Anthony under control. Bob puts out the final scene for a nymphette and a water delivery man. Bridgette Kerkove plays the nymphette and Jonathan Morgan returns in his third role as the water delivery man. Bridgette doesnít have the money to pay Jonathan, so he works something else out. She agrees to trade anal for water. Unfortunately, the anal was only with a toy. Granted, it was a pretty big toy, but itís still a toy. This scene was filmed before Bridgette had her boob job, so those of you who like girls who have no chance of ever drowning, may be disappointed. As she is here, sheís quite good looking and has a nice body. Itís a shame she felt she had to distort it to the point she did (and after seeing her in Backseat Driver 12 I do mean distort).

But wait... thereís more! After Bob and Mary Jo return one last time, the bloopers start. This is normal for Jonathan Morganís movies as of late and itís great. You get to see some of the fun on the set and the cast as people. The Brad Armstrong prison blooper is one of the funniest moments on the DVD. After this is real credits. Not just a list of the cast, but who they were in the movie also as well as the crew.

If all of this isnít enough for you, the Porn- o-matic 2000 also comes with a free tote bag. Just call 1 - 555 - PORNOMATIC now. All major credit cards are accepted. Operators are standing by. And if you act now, weíll throw in.....

Extras: Commentary by Jonathan Morgan and Alexa, behind the scenes photo gallery, Wicked AVN awards and nominations, photo gallery, Wicked Casino, trailers, and bios. The commentary is great. Jonathan and Alexa work great together and they question each other throughout the commentary. They also make fun of the movie quite a bit. Surprisingly, itís as good as Jonathanís commentaries with Serenity were in the past, which I thought were hard to beat. There are two photo galleries as opposed to the normal one. Thereís still the standard 2 minute automated photo gallery with scenes from the movie, but thereís also a 1:15 behind the scenes photo gallery. The bios are excellent. Theyíre done in the typical Wicked audio bio style, but they cover everybody in the movie. Itís great (especially if youíre a reviewer and not sure on who somebody is)!

Themes: Straight, lesbian, group, toys, rimming (male > female) and anal

Raincoat Factor: Pretty high. The sex is great and therefore would be great for a wank, but the Ďplotí portions are so good that nobody should skip them.

Overall: Currently, Porn-o-matic 2000 can be found online for between $24 and $30 with many stores having it for around $28. $24 is pushing it. Itís a great movie with a great transfer, great sex and a very funny Ďstorylineí, but I donít know if itís quite worth $25. If youíre a fan of Jonathan Morganís previous stuff, youíll still want to pick this up and you wonít be disappointed, even for $25.

Note to Wicked: First, thank you for having the bios cover everybody in the cast rather than just the three or four people everybody already knows. Also, thank you for having complete credits at the end of the film. Currently I think that you have some of the best adult films on DVD. In almost every Wicked DVD Iíve seen youíve given the films great extras in addition to the great transfer. As much as I enjoy your movies, they seem a little over priced. Your bare bones titles such as Cover Girl, Wicked as she Seems, and Haunted Nights and the Euro releases are normally around $23 when most other studios are under $20. The only competition I can see for some of your top shelf titles, such as Porn-o-matic 2000 and the Jenna DVDs are Private titles. Your top shelf titles are normally about $28 compared to Private at $25. This seems extremely high. I hope to see your prices come down slightly in the future so they can be a little more competitive with other studios.

If you have any questions or comments, please e- mail me .



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