The Little Details
Running Time: 73 min.
Production Date: 2 / 20 / 2005
Director: None credited
Cast: Dani Woodward and John West
The Short Story
Initial Expectations: This has been one of the worst virtual sex series around. I really have no clue why I’m even wasting my time watching it.
Initial Reaction: Dani is fantastic, but this release is anything but.
Who Should Watch It : Extreme Dani Woodward fans
Who Should Avoid It: Anybody wanting anything close to a decent virtual sex release
The Technical Stuff
Audio /Video Quality: The audio doesn’t even make it to the average mark. The balance is definitely off, with the music during the tease being way louder than the audio for the rest of the movie. I had to severely crank up my volume after watching the tease to hear Dani. There’s also a bit of hiss in the background, with some of it sounding like it was shot next to the ocean with the tide rushing in. There were also times when Dani sliding around seemed as loud as her voice. The video is okay. There’s a touch of pixelation and the lighting also seems a bit low. There’s also a few soft focus blurs and a bit of camera motion and overly fast zooming.
Music: There’s music during the strip tease, but that’s it. It’s okay music, but seems a bit loud.
Bullshit, Borderline, and Boneheaded Advertising: Apparently thinking that “Lying Sack of Shit” is a compliment and something to be strived for, Anarchy continues its run of not being able to do a completely honest cover and once again earns a point and a half point penalty against the overall score. The front cover lists features of Various Angles, Extremely Interactive, Strip Tease, Titty Play, Multiple Toys, Foot Play, Hand Job, Tease Menu, Shot Exclusively for DVD, Point of View (P.O.V.), and Different Sex Positions. The back cover lists features of Get to Know Dani, Multiple Preview Trailers, Behind the Scenes, Digital Stereo Sound, Multiple Layer Menus, Website Access, All Region Coding, and PC DVD-ROM Compatible. The true claims are Strip Tease, Titty Play, Foot Play, Hand Job, Get to Know Dani, Multiple Preview Trailers, Digital Stereo Sound, Multiple Layer Menus, Website Access, All Region Coding, and PC DVD-ROM Compatible, most of which are things that no other studio advertises. Surprisingly, the Bullshit section is pretty slim here, with the main claim that’s completely bullshit being the claim of having a behind the scenes featurette. There’s also the claim of Tease Menu. You do have the choice between starting with either foreplay or sex, but there’s a difference between foreplay and teasing. You don’t have any choices for Dani to tease you with her tits, ass, pussy, or between her using her fingers or toys to play with herself for you, like you would with an Extremely interactive virtual sex DVD like Digital Sin, Digital Playground, Smash Pictures, or Wicked Pictures has put out. It also states that You can stick a dildo or two in her or slide your dick in every tight hole you can imagine. Although Dani does use two different toys in the tease portion of the movie, they’re never used at the same time. As for being able second part of the claim, which makes it sound like there’s an anal option, I didn’t see a single moment of anal action in the movie. As usual, Anarchy delivers a few cover claims that are complete bullshit.
The borderline claims start with the claim of Multiple Toys. Yes, there are toys, but no, you have no control over which one Dani uses or what she does with it. Much the same complaints can be made against the POV claim. Yes, there is some POV footage, but it’s definitely in the minority of footage. Once again, Anarchy delivers some very questionable cover claims.
Finally, there’s the boneheaded claims. Top of the list is Various Angles. Now which is it, POV or various angles? It’s obvious that Anarchy took some heat over the completely false Multiple Angles claim that they’ve had on every interactive DVD they’ve released up until now, but they’ve still not smart enough to be completely honest with the people who give them money. Shot Exclusively for DVD? That might mean something if there were “Interactive VHS” releases being made. Finally, there’s my favorite boneheaded claim: Different Sex Positions. Different from what? Or is it to mean that there’s more than one? This claim is like a fast food restaurant advertising that at their drive-up window, when you ask for ketchup they give it to you in a little packet. Once again, Anarchy’s cover claims earn them a point and a half point penalty and makes me wonder if there’s just one big family bush over there.
Menus: The main menu gives a funky altered clip from the movie that doesn’t really give a good impression.
The FeatureDani is a very cute twenty year old (at the time this was shot) redhead with a great body and a nice following right from the start. Anarchy is a company known for half-assing and lies. They’ve come together here to continue one of the poorest excuses for a virtual sex line currently running in adult entertainment.
You get plenty of choices for what Dani will do. She’ll give “you” a strip tease in a pink latex nurse’s outfit, and will wear either that or a naughty schoolgirl outfit as she teases “you” first with a silver vibe and then with a glass dildo. She’ll warm “you” up starting out in some sexy black lingerie that slowly disappears as she gives “you” a handjob, footjob, or blowjob, and although it isn’t made clear with the menus, you get to choose between Dani kneeling in front of you or you lying down or sitting in a chair. When it comes to sex, you get to choose between John spooning Dani or fucking her in cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, missionary, or doggie. Finally, you have the option for either John or Dani to cum.
For her part, Dani does a fantastic job. She looks cute as all hell in each of her outfits and puts some great effort into everything she does. She plays to the camera nicely, but it never feels like she’s going overboard or faking anything. She takes the facial with great enthusiasm, and seems to enjoy the second pop on her stomach just as much. Dani Woodward shows that she has what it takes to make a great interactive virtual sex title.
Once again, though, Anarchy shows that it doesn’t have a clue what it takes to make a great interactive virtual sex title. As usual, there’s no looping to the segments and there’s only one angle to choose from. While the tease portion lasts over twenty minutes, it’s split up into three segments which give you virtually no control. The rest of the segments normally last between thirty seconds and a minute, but there’s a couple that last three and eight seconds and seem like a complete waste. Even as they are, most of the segments are so short that they don’t give enough time to really get the sex act going and instead leave the action feeling like somebody left the movie in a blender and then stuck what pieces they could find back together. The camera work and segments lengths make much of it seem like a joke as well. The POV footage is extremely limited, and isn’t really even worth mentioning during the teases and foreplay. If all that isn’t enough, they even appear incompetent in their menus! It rests pretty well in the upper left corner, but the icons are a bit odd and they’re not always the clearest. The menu acts like a chapter menu that’s always accessible while watching the movie, and yes, it does sometimes black the action. The biggest question, though is just how chromosomally deficient do you have to be to have a choice of “Sex” among choices like “Missionary”, “Cow Girl”, “Reverse Cow”, “Doggie”, and “Spoon”? Once again, somebody should have either bitch-slapped anybody associated with Anarchy when another virtual sex title was mentioned or sent them to learn how to author an interactive DVD.
True to form, Anarchy serves the goose that laid the golden egg with a little orange sauce with Playing with Dani Woodward. I shouldn’t say that, because with the intelligence level Anarchy shows they’d shove the live goose in a pan filled with oranges in the oven. Dani Woodward does a fantastic job, and both looks fantastic as well as playing to the camera extremely well. Jimmy D normally does the camera work for these releases, and if he did them here he shows the most competence on the technical end of things just because he held the camera pretty steady and knew which end to look in. Beyond that, this is a piss poor interactive DVD that comes off like a great scene that nobody knew how to edit. Dani Woodward does a fantastic job in Playing with Dani Woodward, and really should go around the Anarchy office kicking people in the nuts for holding back the job she did here. Spend your money on some of her worthwhile work instead of this piece of garbage.
The Extra StuffThe usual five trailers are included, along with internet information. The photo gallery lasts about a minute and a half with about three seconds per varying quality snapshot. There’s also an interview with Dani.
The interview lasts about three and a half minutes where Dani happily chats with Jimmy D. Dani chats about her work schedule, relativity, Einstein, and astrology. She also talks about how to deal with a Pisces in bed. It’s a fun little interview and seemed way too short with how much personality Dani was showing off.
The Down -n- Dirty Sex Stuff
Themes: Straight, interactive, tease, masturbation, toys, handjob, footjob, and oral
Raincoat Factor: High
Condom Usage: None
The Bottom Line:Currently, most of the Playing with series can be found online for between about $13 and $25 with several stores offering it near the low end. Don’t even think of paying that much for this one, and even think again on renting it. Dani is great, but the virtual aspect could have been done better by somebody not even out of elementary school. The technical aspects have some problems, and there’s not as much effort put into the extras as the cover would lead you to believe. This is a horrible interactive DVD.
Note to Anarchy: It’s nice to see you dropping the “Multiple Angles” lie from your cover!
If you have any questions or comments, please e-mail me .
Other reviews by Astroknight