Well now it's time for the sequel and Tommy Gunn whom we thought was perished at the end of the first one is back-- as you knew he would be, any good villian takes at least 2 movies to die and more if the flicks are successful as this one surely will be, do the drumbeat for the third will probably start just after Jan '09 when the AEE show ends. There are some new characters in this one as you'll meet when putting the disc in, Belladonna, Sasha Grey, Stoya, Shay Jordan, Gabriella Fox, and Riley Steele are among the newbies for this one. I watched the third disc first, lol, it was the BTS and I would urge you to watch it, it lasts nearly 1 1/2 hours but it's very informative with some cool after scene interviews, it really boggles the mind how much went into this production and you'll learn much more of that on this same disc as well as the fourth one, I'll touch on those again after giving you the lowdown on the movie which I'm about to watch for the first time!! Come Sail Away with Me!
Ok we open with some ominous music and the shot here is of the high seas, you see a boat sailing in these hard choppy waters, we learn this vessel is being followed by a Pirate ship though we don't know yet who the baddies are. I must say the look here was close to cartoonish-- but in a very good way, I thought it looked like a painting come to life, the people on the ship we just met are very real, though, I don't suspect they'll be able to outrun the pursuing ship. Ok we learn the people chasing them are apparantly from Arabia, then suddenly the ship is gone, but only briefly. There is about to be some action and no not that kind,lol. This band of cutthroats is after something which they think is on this ship but the people onboard seem to be clueless. Cut to the head baddie showing herself, it's Katsuni, she's called the Empress, and damn she's lookin tough!Well she uses a form of sorcery which has the man of the cloth talking in no time and seems the object of their search is within his body, it's cut out pronto and turns out to be a small glowing sphere, we learn nothing more at this time as the hooligans get to finish off the remaining crew.
Moving on, it's daybreak and we're on another vessel sailing at sea, under the 'able' command of Evan Stone and I say able because he was a bit of a bumbling fool in the first one, getting by on sheer luck as I recall. The graphics here were still akin to a living painting for me, it worked good I thought. There is some amusing dialogue here as Evan catches us up on what's happened since he vanquished Victor Stagnetti. He's relating this story to Oxford his close confidant who reminds Evan that it was actually Wu who saved them but that's a minor point, lol. Turns out they run into Wu's sister, Shay Jordan, who is also at sea-- the crew on that ship seemed real happy too, but also sad that she'll be leaving them, Time for some sex soon I think! Shay is coming to bring her older brother an important book of gunpowder magic-- you know the mystical kind of stuff us normal people wouldn't understand, lol. We see just how Shay acclimated herself to her previous ship as we do indeed get our first sex.
Shay Jordan with Mick Blue & James Deen:
We also learn this is Shay's first 2 on 1 scene, she was more nervous about staying in character than the actual fucking of two guys, she loved it. Evan is giving some amusing voice over work here too as he seems clueless as to what's going on and that is what makes it even funnier as we're actually seeing the dirty deed. Shay does a fine job of going to both cocks for some sucking before the guys start taking turns on that pussy. Now these sex scenes may seem a little shorter than in even most features but fret not there is a second disc of just these sex scenes extended!! Shay looks good here in a variety of shots from cowgirl to mish to spoon to reverse. These guys lay some serious pipe before they unload their spunk to her open mouth. More amusing dialogue from Evan as he muses on the crewmen seeming to enjoy these massages from Shay, lol.
Some plot development here as we learn just before they set sail on this current voyage they were visited by Belladonna who's playing Jesse Jane's cousin and seems a governor has issued a warrant for her arrest so she's staying put on Evan's ship for the time being and I think she wanted to stay there anyway. Bella looks made for this type of movie fitting into her pirate gear like a champ. So the ship is moving towards this evil governor to see if Evan can't get a pardon for Jesse. Bella is concerned about her cousin and she doesn't see much strength in Evan at the moment so in order to protect Jesse she won't hesistate to take over the ship.
Riley Steele & Shawna Lenee with Ben English:
Ok we leave the ship to journey over to the Governor's house where his two daughters were huddled close together on a bed when Ben English comes barging in, he wants some gold but the Governor has it with him- ok this was all an act, lol, Ben is the real Governor and these two girls obviously weren't his daughters, lol, he was interrupted in his role playing to be told Evan and Jesse were here to discuss the pardon. Ben tells his servant to stall, he's about to discover these treasures, lol. The girls get in some kissing to each other as they start to lose those cumbersome clothes, even some Victorian themed music is piped in. Again the scene is going to be a little shorter but there's more on the second disc. You see some good things, though, cock sucking, Riley in her first scene ever riding cock in reverse, Ben English giving running commentary, lol. There is even some P2OGM too so these strumpets are nasty! This almost seems cut for cable except you get the graphic shots with full pussy and cock seen. Shawna ends up wearing most of the load on her face but the girls kiss so each gets some jizz to taste.
Ok now that the governor has satisifed his urges he can deal with these people. Evan is upset they've been waiting for over an hour but Jesse is like you want that pardon for Serena you better show patience. Ben enters and is immediately drawn to the Pirate hunter Jesse Jane, pretty much ignoring Evan, more comic relief. Evan tries to smoothly navigate to asking about the pardon for Serena-- that would be Janine's character from the first one. Ben wants to help but his hands are tied-- but if they would be willing to perform a service-- that would be recovering the blue sphere that Katsuni took earlier then there just might be something arranged for Serena, ahh just what Evan and the crew needs, another adventure!! Katsuni is Zfang and her mantra is There is no God but ZFang-- she is one bad motherfucker!!Back on their ship Evan relays the news then asks Wu to tell him everything he knows about Katsuni and we already knew she was a bad bitch, now Evan learns this. The plan is for Evan and Jesse to get passage on another ship heading out to a little know Pirate haven that just may be where they'll find Katsuni, Bella thinks she should go but is told to stay behind, I wouldn't think this is the end of that bit of story.
Belladonna & Jesse Jane:
Bella then comes to see Jesse in hopes she'll help her get Evan out of the way so she can actually save her cousin, Jesse is a staunch defender for Evan and this leads to tension, the good kind!! The girls come together in a fast kiss and as Mills Lane used to say before refereeing a boxing match-- Let's Get It On!! The women fall onto the bed in a passionate embrace, the clothes flying off as they ravage one another. We learn in the BTS this was the first woman to really push Jesse, she actually had to fight back to get on top, get an edge, the passion was quite evident here and I would definitely watch the extended scene action for this one. Lots of dirty talk as they rip off those clothes, lick pussy, use their fingers, a basic free for all. Loved the ass licking we got here, Bella really rubbed her nose in that booty. The fingering was quite intense as well, ass play for Jesse Jane! Jesse shows no mercy when it was her turn to have at Bella's ass, in the BTS we learn there was a bit of an accident, basically she Tore Bella's Ass up!!Before the scene is over we get a nice juicy wet orgasm from Bella's coochie!! This was aggressive passion at its best and I have no doubts this will be nominated for Best g/g scene this year. The cuts were frequent but you still see so much, the location was awesome, so far everything has been very authentic looking from the ship to the governors house to now this room inside the ship.
We cut then to a local tavern, the drinks are flowing and the wenches are trying to score for the night, Jesse arrives fashionably late to tell Evan they've got passage on the vessel they wanted and soon will be on their way to Shebulba island-- sorry if I misspelled it Joone but didn't see any copy giving me it's spelling, lol. So we move on to Jesse and Evan now onboard and we get some more comic relief from Mr. Stone as only he can do, Jesse has her moments here too. Wait until you see the island that Jesse and Evan arrive it, the graphics were awesome here, so detailed. You see many fires burning and in the distance a long waterfall flowing down the side of a mammooth mountain, I was really taken with the visuals here. This definitely looks like a pirate refuge, sorta like a Mos Icely-- you know the haven of scum and villiany from the first Star Wars. Jesse and Evan split up and we watch as Evan stumbles onto a wench auction. Again everything had a ring of authencity to it. After one big girl is sold we see Jenna Haze led out and well Evan decides to have her for himself!! After he wins the bidding he's to be escorted to a golden temple room where we get a nice five girl, three guy scene! Cut to Jesse who is doing her own bit of scouting and she spots a flag flying the colors of Katuni's group so what does Jesse do, she trudges on which could be a mistake. With no fear she enters the tent and begins looking around, I don't think she even knew what for, of course she's interrupted by Katsuni, the ominous music returns as the henchmen take Jesse into custody. We don't learn her fate just yet as we're taken back to where Evan was led to, for more sex!!
Stoya, Gabriella Fox, Shyla Stylez, Abbey Brooks, & Veronica Rayne with Manuel Ferrara, Marco Banderas & Charles Dera:
We see some belly dancing, topless girls serving grapes and everyone is drinking and engaging in debaucherous activities!! Evan offers more comic relief before we settle into watching the dancing and then the fucking. Alright we cut to Shyla, Stoya and Gabriella all showing titties, kissing and then joined by the men who pair off each with one girl, Manuel with Shyla, Charles with Stoya and Marco with Gabriella. Abbey and Veronica are having their own little fun too , it's hard to focus with so much going on, perhaps the extended cut of this will linger longer on the various groups because what you do see ever so briefly was pretty good. I did spot Shyla doing some anal at one point. Loadwise Shyla and Gabriella take pretty good open mouth pops while Charles leaves his seed just on the outter edges of Stoya's pussy lips. Everyone seemed to enjoy this a lot.
Alright we go back to Oxford and Wu who have wondered into town-- this is back where Evan and Jesse just came from, these fellas had been left behind to repair the ship, well Shay has wondered off and Wu wants to find his sister so Captain Oxford-- Evan promoted him, lol, agrees to help search, seems Bella's gone missing too. Well naturally they run into trouble with the locals but we're wisked away back to where Katsuni is about to do something sinister to Jesse who hasn't talked yet. Katsuni uses the same squid like creature from before to squirt a liquid into Jesse's mouth and you see her convulse for several seconds before settling down. Katsuni reasks her question and you have the sense that Jesse will talk now but we are wisked away once more, back to a bar but this is a different one I gather as we're looking at Stephen St. Croix who is back from the first one but he's all sad and drunk because his girl is dead, he needs to get laid is basically the advice he's given!!Ok we have found Shay!! She's led in and Stephens' friend is going to get his buddy laid!! Shay gets all lovey dovey over this new guy before her.
Shay Jordan & Stephen St. Croix:
Very nice, we move to Stephen and Shay kissing and he does a fine job undressing her and that sexy body is laid bare, those breasts, that pussy-- both are pleasured then Stephen lays the pipe down. Liked the setting too, you have barrels, netting, juggs of booze I imagine, Shay sucking cock, all very Piratey!! Sexwise from what you see here, doggie and reverse were very good and we have the load launched up her belly, I think he feels a little bit better, lol. Well that feeling might be short lived, hehe, as Shay becomes all attached to him, he has been her best lover and she wants to be his wife, naturally this frightens Stephen who is also a pretty good comedic actor as you see here. He resists her advances so Shay resorts to some finger grabbing at his body-- they are at stratgic points on the body which cause immediate and intense pain-- you can guess Stephen comes around to her point of view pretty quick!!
Jenna Haze & Evan:
We are then transported back to Evan and his new friend-- the auctioneer he bought Jenna off of, they're still in the golden lust tent surrounded by those beauties who just fucked moments before, more comedic dialogue is uttered until Evan is usherd off so he can bed his new acquisition, Jenna Haze!!He introduces himself, by his real name but Jenna seems to want only to pleasure him in all the ways you can. Falling onto the bed they're naked in no time, passionately kissing and did I mention it's Jenna' fucking' Haze!! Superb cock sucking and dirty talk to her new master! Evan can't resist adding a few funny lines here and there-- suck my cannon balls!!!!As you know Jenna looks divine in any position and this is another scene I'd check for in the extended footage on the second disc. We do get some anal here, did you expect anything less from Jenna who also offers up A2M! The load ends up on her lower belly as Jenna sings his praises, the greatest pirate hunter that ever lived!!
The two are interrupted by Jesse Jane of all people but she's not herself, of course Evan is clueless and doesn't sense this, his second in command is now a bad pirate babe!! The situation goes from bad to worse when Katsuni and her men come striding in, Jesse has a great possessed look on her face too. Katsuni then informs Evan that Jesse is her captains prize now-- Victor Stagnetti, well he is dead right, nope she tells Evan and Jesse will lead them all to where he is. As Evan is led off just outside the tent is a female figure, it's Sasha Grey, but her face is hidden. She follows behind to see where Evan's taken. We find out his desination is a huge cavern like place, picture Return of the Jedi when Luke is made to fight that grotesque creature, well Evan is made to fight an ordinary looking man but they are joined by a huge hideous lookin creature who eat the other man, snaps him in two and then goes after Evan while the masses cheer on. Among those we find Sasha and Bella is here so she followed Jesse and Evan to Sebulba. Sweet!! Bella then hops down on top of the creature going all Bad ass and slaying it with her sword, this gets even more cheers from the crowd. Evan is appreciative of course! On board Sasha's ship we get info shared from Evan to Bella about what Katsuni wants-- Stagnetti resurrected, bad news indeed. Evan waxes poetically about vanquishing Victor once and that he'll do it again, Bella ain't buying it. Sasha tells us and Evan some of her motivation, Stagnetti took her sister some years back and she wants to find out what happened.
Brianna Love, Rhylee Richards & Evan:
While this is a long voyage of course there will be need of some comforting so enter Brianna and Rhylee who are Pirate hunter fangirls, lol. They want to hear the story of how he killed Stagnetti, straight from his handsome lips-- this interests Evan of course as the girls also decide to lose their clothes, lol. Of course Evan's colorful story telling help them loosen their pussy's!! Good shared knob polishing as well from the girls, Brianna Love and that ass, oh yeah! Check out Evan leaning all the way off the bed as the girls hover on the bed sucking him off, that was a fine shot. Nicely we have cowgirl with Brianna who does P2M while Rhylee is smothering Evan's face with her coochie, she also excels in cowgirl, you have some anal for Brianna leading to a shared load for the girls. Saving the world does have its rewards!!
From the funny frolicking of Evan Stone we're taken onboard Kastuni's ship, the evil vibe is everywhere as they traverse the choppy waters. The ship has found the island where Stagnetti was killed at, he lies beneath the waters Jesse utters and then you have Katsuni pulling out that blue sphere which she took early on in this flick. She reveals the story behind this glowing orb which is loaded in a gun, then shot out into the seas which become violent, the fog rolls in, then lifts showing a huge crater that has developed. A huge black man, Assad, is called in, throwing a rope overboard he climbs down and retrieves a wet figure who after Katsuni gives it her special touch evolves into Tommy Gunn aka Victor Stagnetti-- he's back and he is pissed!! We go back to Evan and Bella who were sparring, she senses that Victor has been reborn, she wants to vanquish him once and for all, it was partly due to her apathy he killed so many so she is willing to do whatever it takes.
Katsuni, Jesse Jane & Tommy Gunn:
We are back now on the black ship, you can tell by all the skulls which adorn the room, then on the bed we find Katsuni and Tommy while Jesse stands before them, still in that glazed state. Well they decide to take advantage of this and have their way with Jesse who goes along with it, like a willing slave would. With her arms pulled behind Jesse is forced down onto Tommy's cock, taking him deep within her mouth, the drums are beating as this sick twisted scene unfolds. In her right mind Jesse would snap that cock off with her teeth but she's possessed so she instead gives in to wanton lust riding his cock, Katsuni doing P2OGM but she also gets a little pipe laid to her including anal before Tommy leaves his demon seed over Jesse's mouth, she shares with Katsuni-- sexy cum swapping here fans.
Well seems while Tommy and Katsuni were boinking Jesse we had Bella, Sasha and Evan chasing them down in Sasha's vessel. Tommy doesn't recognize her and is told that Evan's boat is being repaired, Jesse still a fountain of info. Tommy decides to call upon some of the hell spawn he met while in Davey Jone's locker and out from the sea pops a whole new boat, complete with lots of skeleton warriors. The ghost ship is split in two by cannon fire but as their luck would have, it still sailed and both halves then got on either side of Sasha's boat and well all hell breaks loose! Bella and Sasha kick ass while Evan is his usual bumbling self but he does manage to kill one before Tommy summons another demon from the deep, even the skeletons tuck tail and run, lol. Bella then makes a bold move swinging over to the enemy ship, killing a few baddies then hooking up with her old friend Katsuni and then just as they're about to fight out of nowhere comes Stephen St. Croix on his ship firing at the huge menacing creature-- ok where did that come from, lol.
Wu is there too helping with his good magic but he also wants Stephen to promise to marry his sister, lol. As the giant squid is coming at them he finally agrees to marry her, more funny faces from Stephen as they're all about to die, lol, but the guns fire and this demon is smote!! Back to Katsuni and Bella who are heavy at it, we even get the hand gesture from Katsuni to Bella, you know the cum get some!! Well this only pisses Bella off and in a few moves she's cleaved off Katsuni's head, makes her way to get at Victor only to be met by a still possessed Jesse so more fighting! The girls are beaten by a falling piece of wood, Tommy then takes the chance to stab Bella but before he can finish her off we have Evan coming over to the rescue, he gets to fight an actual person, albiet a demon spawn but no skeletons!! Well of course Evan wins, we don't know why, lol, but he does. Seems no one saw it as the girls were still pinned under the giant piece of wood and when Evan tries to show them the dead body of Tommy nothing's there except the swords and some blood-- ahh we needed an excuse for a third one, that does it.
Jesse, Shay & Stephen St. Croix:
Well time for Stephen to pay the piper, lol, but he first is visited by Jesse who decides to ignite their former passion and Stephen resists-- for about 10 seconds, lol, before he gives in and the two are kissing. Shay then interrupts and after Stephen says he loves her it is all ok for him to fuck Jesse and she even stays so it's a three way!Shay sitting on his face, Jesse face deep in cock, Shay gets in on the dick too before there is a bit of fucking. We are nearly to the end now fans but please take a look at any of these scenes on the extended disc where I'm sure there is much much more. The load here is left on Jesse's lower belly, Shay licks some up, swaps it down to Jesse and the girls kiss.
Bella, Sasha & Evan:
Nearly finished we have but one more sex scene to check out and we have two hot babes for sure. Evan is still basking in the glow of ridding the world of Victor once again-- but with no body it might be a short victory until once again the mean bad pirate is back. But before that we have one bit of sinful delight left. The girls wanted to apologize for doubting his skills and they want to show just how much they appreciate it by fucking him!! Sasha also has an alterior motive, she wants to go back to Shebulba Island where she suspects her sister is still being held so a little sex and instead of going to see the Governor they will head instead back to the island. Very nice shots here of Evan licking Sasha's ass while she in turn was licking Bella's! Some shared knob polishing, a bit of dirty talk as they play with his huge cannon balls, hehe. Some serious skull fucking then to Bella, I mean he thrusts his cock so far down her throat is was crazy. Sasha shows some serious deep throating skills too before each get some pipe, more skull fucking, a bit of g/g ass eating, all the goodies to tidy this one up. They actually jerk the load onto Evan's stomach, then lick it up and cum kiss. Everyone then gathers on the ships topside and instructions are given from Evan, set sail until they see the fires of hell itself, it's back to Shebulba Island to rescue Sasha's sister, as the ships sail off into the sunset we fade out!
Extras & Final Thoughts:
Well one word comes to mind when describing this one, EPIC. It was a spralling piece of cinematic entertainment with a nice dose of sex mixed in. Now you want more of the nasty, then slip in the second disc where you get extended cuts for all the sex scenes plus you have a bonus scene with Bella who is a bad girl at this time bringing Stoya as a present to Katsuni so yeah enjoy that bit of lesbian action! The other two discs are chalk full of BTS, Interviews, set construction, the works. If you've seen the Lord of the Rings extended editions then that's pretty much what you get here. Pirates II is a triumph all around, there is much humor here too mostly from Evan Stone who is indeed a leading man even if he's a bumbling fool. Stephen St. Croix has a few moments here and there in this and if there's a third Pirates which I'm almost certain there will be he will be back I'm sure along with his clinging wifey Shay Jordan! An instant classic and a must have for owners of the first one. Well done to Joone and everyone who put so many hours and sweat into making this movie, it will pay off most handsomely now I think.