Judging from the size of the asses on the cover, it was quite apparent that Justin has not spent any time in my neighborhood. Sure, local rapper and childhood hero Sir Mix A Lot penned the first of all booty songs, bet even Sir Makes A Lot had to be inspired by an Oakland ass. That said, let’s get into the meat of the movie.
The movie starts with a tasty ray of sunshine named Sky.
She came out with some post modern hippie thigh high boots. And the phattest ass I have ever seen! This ass was so big and round that you would want to hit it doggie style until it turned purple. Matter of fact, Justin tried to ease in that ass, but old girl made him pull out and slip in the pussy. Once again Justin was sending you a subliminal message behind this and the “Phat Beats.” Smoke, ass and boots put another brotha in a Purple Haze. To quote our now beloved brotha “Scuse me while I kiss the Sky” When you see her thick ass lips wrap around Justin you can see why they call the pipe the glass dick.
Next up, Honeycomb.
This girl had so much ass it made Justin mad. All I could do was sit back and be amazed by the hidden messages in this scene. I grew up on cold cereal, and Honeycomb cereal was a mainstay. The premise of the commercials was adults trying to sneak into the kids fort to steal the Honeycomb cereal.
Justin was telling all of corporate America. Look muthafucka! I still got the keys to the clubhouse and it angers me that I got to hit this ass like my name was Mikey, and this was the last bowl of Life Cereal on earth.
This girl had an azz like a Brazilian, and it was quite obvious that she didn’t speak a lick of English. Somewhere along the way somebody taught her three key words, “Fuck My Pussy!” Oh My God! Forget the fact that Justin had to strap on a rubber, cause I did. This girl was so fine that I had to “Bagger The Witness” just to think straight!
Justin worked her spot like it was a rented mule. He did all the moves. Brotha in the Middle, The Horse and The Rider, and a personal favorite of mine. “The Sack of Suds.” You know, where you have to hold the girl close to your chest while you stand upright.
Please meet Tameka
This was a woman with a full body. If you are like me and love a thick gurl, you are about to pass out by this point. Justin should have had one of his crew dress up like Lerch from The Adams Family, cause his nuts was slappin this girl like a knocker on a new door. The only thing missing was for somebody off camera to yell out “You Rang!” You could tell that this heffa gave Justin something that the other didn’t. Cause he went deep into his bag of tricks for his signature move. That’s right, he went military on this girl, and did push ups on her ass until tears rolled down her face. She was trying to hold on anything she could, but the key wasn’t the clinch, and Justin showed her, it was all in the release.
Justin Say’s...Lift with your knees, not your back!
I will apologize now for those of you who are sensitive to the slavery issues that haunted our people for 400 years, but I haven’t seen anything close to the significance of this scene since Alex Haley’s Roots!
With the burden of our people on his back, Justin offered this girl up to the Gods! He was trying to tell us that we are born of a new generation, and it’s time to come out of the fields and tell massa that we ain’t pickin no more cotton!
From this day forward the only seeds we are sewing are deep in the womb of our strong black women! In one fell swoop, Justin reminds us all that yams are from the mother land, so call up that girl from big mamma’s house, or that project honey that you used to holla at back in the day, and let her know that it’s time for reparations and she betta have that thong on!
I can’t say that every girl in this film is a 10 in the face, but if you like em thick in the ass, you gonna love this! Bottom line, these girls fuck like they gonna cash a check after their scene is over. This was an all out ass fest. No, there was almost no anal, but the sex was hotter than a white man booked on Def Comedy Jam!
Don’t take my word for it, ask this bitch!