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Perfect Secretary, The

Studio: Adam & Eve
Category:  Anal , Feature film
Directed by:
Starring: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Released on: 
Where to buy:DVD NewDVD RentStreaming/Download
MLyons's ratings for Perfect Secretary, The:
Overall Rating 3 stars
Perfect Secretary, The overall rating 3 stars
Female Looks Perfect Secretary, The Female looks rating 4 stars
Male Looks Perfect Secretary, The Male looks rating 3 stars
Sex Perfect Secretary, The Sex rating 2.5 stars
Plot/Acting Perfect Secretary, The Plot/Acting rating 1 star
Extras Perfect Secretary, The DVD Extras rating 3 stars
Audio/Video Quality Perfect Secretary, The A/V Quality rating 2.5 stars
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Reviewed by MLyons  on  5/5/2005
The Perfect Secretary

Mike Lyons Reviews    

Nick Orleans

Carmen Luvana, Haley Paige, Julie Night, Angela Stone, Michelle B., Samantha Ryan, Trinity, Jassie, Tony Tedeschi, Sir Nik, Vincent Vega, Tommy Gun, Reno, Bianca Pureheart (NON SEX).


Tommy Gun and Carmen Luvana - Scene 2.
Vincent Vega and Carmen Luvana - Scene 4

Running Time of Main Feature
1 Hr. 51 Mins.

Female Orgasms
None that I believed.

Those who enjoy bondage and domination themes with their hardcore (even though it's more suggestion than reality).  Fans of anal sex and Carmen Luvana.

Those looking for a full-on marriage of bondage with hardcore.  Those looking for a lot of sex that involves more than just blowjobs.  Those looking for a well thought out story.

I haven't seen anything from Adam and Eve in a long long long long long long time.  Really the only reason I'm picking this up is not because it's Carmen Luvana's first anal.  I don't much care.  I hear, though, that this movie incorporates some bondage themes, and I'm a big fan of that--even if it just hints at mixing bondage with sex, that's usually enough (and it's usually all I can hope for anyway).  Beyond that, this movie also prominently features Haley Paige, and I really like Haley Paige, so right out of the gate it's got a few things going for it.  A couple of my fellow ADTers have written some fine reviews of this title, and for the sake of perspective, I encourage you to read them.  ChrisLuvsPorn has a nice review--as does the reviewing machine himself, Astroknight.  Given that, I can't offer you any good reason to read mine except has pictures?

Layla Lavish (Haley Paige) has evidently been reprimanded for masturbating at work.  She tells her tale of woe to a hapless friend on the other end of her cell phone, even while she's outside the very organization that will allegedly correct her behavior--the Penumbra Corporation.  When she arrives, she's told by a decently attractive man that they are going to get to the bottom of her behavior, and she's given quite the heavy tome of a consent form to sign.  After blindfolding her briefly, and rubbing her body with several inanimate and ... animate objects, she is then allowed to indulge her masturbation urges for the last time as the man sets out to discipline one of the other girls in training for bringing him a cold cappuccino.


Haley Paige, Michelle B., Vincent Vega

This is a short and simple scene.  Haley masturbates her pretty pussy (although a bit unconvincingly if I were to offer an opinion about it) while Michelle B. services Vincent with her mouth and her large, gorgeous breasts.  She sucks his cock, but most of the action is some titty fucking with a little back and forth "discipline" banter between the two before Vincent finally jerks himself off on her breasts.  It's not boring, but I wouldn't consider it anything more than a marginally successful warm up.

Miss Lavish (Haley) is then brought into a strange training room.  One woman (Michelle B.) types badly on a typewriter.  Another woman just sits in front of a typewriter with handcuffs around her wrists and a ball gag in her mouth.  Another woman (Angela Stone) is being led around on a leash by Sir Nik.  And finally, Carmen Luvana is in a bondage contraption that keeps her arms outstretched as she supervises them all.  Anyway, it isn't long before Haley (hands tied behind her back to prevent her masturbation) is led into the room, and the bitch (Angela Stone) and the head Secretary (Carmen Luvana) start to get it on--to be joined by others soon enough.

Scene One Video Captures
Click for Larger Size

Haley Paige, Angela Stone, Carmen Luvana, Tommy Gun.

Angela plays with Carmen for a little bit--and the highlight of that is some decent pussy licking, but that is short lived.  Tommy comes and inserts his cock into the works--first feeding it to Carmen for a little while, and then pushing Angela out of the picture to lick and fuck Carmen's pussy.  A condom is used in this scene, and Carmen gets it both missionary and doggy style while Haley and Angela work themselves over with their own fingers.  Some good energy is shown by Carmen here, but to be honest, I find Haley and Angela far more desirable.  Alas--they are only an ancillary part of the scene.  Tommy unloads on Carmen's big tits and that's that.

Tony Tedeschi and Vincent Vega watch Julie Night go through a choreographed and "sensual" bathroom ritual as they talk among themselves about how to get through to that pesky little chronic masturbator, Layla Lavish (Haley Paige).  Layla happens by and they tell her to watch and learn as Julie finishes her bathroom duty--which includes peeing into the toilet while standing up.  After Julie's done, it just gets inexplicably strange as Haley squats with her pussy only inches from a small cactus in the bathroom.  (???)  But things get back on track as Julie and Jassie join them and are instructed to bend over the sink and show their asses to the men.  After botching the preparation of a cappuccino, Haley is shortly instructed to do the same, and such is the smorgasbord of flesh laid out for the men.

Scene Two Video Captures
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Haley Paige, Julie Night, Jassie, Tony Tedeschi, Vincent Vega.

Unfortunately the smorgasbord is all but ignored once the action actually starts.  What a terrible waste.  This turns out to be only a very brief oral scene when all is said and done.  All three ladies service the two men's cocks with their mouths, and a little kissing here and there to provide what little variety there is.  It's not long before the men turn the girls back around and unload on their asses.  Again, I found this to be very disappointing.  Between Haley, Julie, and Jassie, there are a LOT more things to do than just get a damn blowjob.  ::sigh::

Back in an office somewhere,  Carmen Luvana is typing at a desk while Tony Tedeschi spouts out some nonsensical crap about cock-blocking as it relates to secretarial work while Layla (Haley), who sits on a couch, is forced to listen to him.  Don't ask me what the hell's going on here, but it only gets interesting again when Tony instructs Haley to bend over the desk and show off her assets.  No doubt they will ignore Haley's offering again in favor of Carmen.  To each his own I guess, but I'll take Haley over Carmen any day of the week.

Scene Three Video Captures
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Haley Paige, Carmen Luvana, Tony Tedeschi, Vincent Vega.

My fears are pretty well-founded, it turns out.  Although there is some very cool bondage action with Haley, as she's tied up with a red rope, Carmen takes center stage again when she sucks on Tony and Vincent's cock for a bit.  Tony instructs Vincent to do some more training with Haley in the bathroom, and there is some more interesting action with Haley, when she sucks on Vincent's cock while her arms are tied behind her (yummy!).  She even pees into the toilet also (yummy again!  Well... not exactly yummy, but you know what I mean...)  Alas, it quickly becomes the Carmen show again when she gets fucked first in her pussy and then in her ass while poor Haley is relegated to bound and masturbating spectator status.  For those who like Carmen, and want to see her in an anal scene, this is your chance.  It's fairly decent as far as that goes, I suppose, and Carmen (although looking a bit uncomfortable at times) is plenty responsive.  For my own part, I've made it plenty clear that I prefer Haley, and so far in this movie she's getting the short end of the dick in the sex department.  Hopefully that will change before it's all over.


Scene Four Video Captures
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Haley Paige, Michelle B., Reno, Tommy Gun.

Back at work, Tommy catches Michelle B. making a mistake on a business letter.  She asks to be disciplined, and Sir Nik ties her to a desk while Haley watches.  Haley touches Michelle's bits even as Sir Nik is finishing his rope-work, and when Michelle is good to go, Haley even starts licking her pussy through the fabric of her panty-hose.  My prayers are answered however when Haley jumps up and asks to be tied up and fucked.  Tommy reacts with some ridiculousness about curing her cock-blocking.  ::groan::  Sir Nik is on hand to kind of tie Haley to another desk--but not really.  The hint of bondage is there though, as mostly it's just her torso that's bound to the desktop as she bends over and presents her luscious, and woefully neglected ass.  Tommy presents his cock to her mouth while Sir Nik finishes up, and then he goes to town on both of her beautiful holes while Reno mysteriously appears and offers his cock to Haley's mouth.  Meanwhile, Michelle B is relegated to masturbation for a change as she mysteriously is freed of her bonds and watches the action.  Eventually Tommy cums on Haley's ass, and Reno on her tits, and all in all at least I got to see Haley fuck in this movie. It wasn't her best scene, but this has the "almost bondage" factor going for it, and the truth is, this scene goes farther with that than most American made movies out there today, so I have to give them some props for that.  Without that extra spice, though, along with the fact that I like Haley so much, this would be a pretty average scene.

Layla (Haley) happens by three women who are tied up in various ways, all begging to be touched and fucked.  Tony Tedeschi is shortly on hand to give some ridiculous explanation as to why they are in so much trouble, but when it comes to the "story" of this particular movie, who really cares anymore?

Scene Five Video Captures
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Trinity, Samantha Ryan, Julie Night, Tony Tedeschi, Tommy Gun.

Tony unties Julie and the others and it's not long before Haley disappears and Tommy Gun takes her place in the the group-sex "finale."  Julie aggressively sucks Tony's cock, complete with deep throat and some verbal encouragement/abuse by Tony.  Trinity and Samantha concentrate all their oral attention on Tommy.  Julie is the only one who actually gets fucked here, and it's pretty brief even at that.  Basically this scene is really quite disappointing.  It's static and uninspired with mostly oral action, and a little domination / submission vibes between Julie and Tony.  I don't really have anything good to say about it, so I'll leave it at that.

The movie ends with some hackneyed stupidity about nobody being perfect accept Miss Lavish, but I've long since realized that whatever "story" they were trying to tell here was doomed before they even started shooting.

Scene Six Video Captures
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Bonus Scene : 17 Mins.  This is from a movie called Erosity, and features Brittney Andrews and Sal Correlli.  It's a surprise femdom, strap on scene, which for me, as a general rule, is a good thing.  I find it hard to make too many complaints, because as scenes like this go, this is actually a pretty darn decent one.  The video quality is quite decent from a pure clarity standpoint, although the production standards are lip-pursingly low.  Despite its merits, however, I found it to be a little too stereotypically leather/gimp/dungeon/fetishy to really satisfy my personal fantasies in this regard--although the domination dynamics and dialogue did work for me--even if it wasn't at all well executed.  Anyway, in all, for scenes of this type, this is pretty good.  Ultimately, though, they just seemed to be going through the motions, and really didn't seem to have a reason for their pairing other than putting together a performance in a half-assed, barely-straight-faced way.  ::shrug::  Eh--chalk it up to another mediocre strap-on scene, but I've seen far too many worse efforts in my time to complain too much.
Behind the Scenes : 14 Mins.  This is an OK behind the scenes vignette, which inter-cuts between some impromptu interviews with the cast (including Carmen Luvana, Haley Paige, Sir Nik, Vincent Vega and others), along with a little camera behind the camera action.  There's a fair amount of concentration on Carmen Luvana's first anal for those who care about such things.  There's also comparisons made between this movie and the mainstream movie on which it is based--Secretary--and I find those comparisons ludicrous.  But more about that later...
Previews : Amateur Angels #16, Swinging in the USA, At Your Service, Pussy Worship, Dirty Girlz Volume 1.
Photo Gallery

Well, there are a lot of good things about this movie--and there are a lot of bad things.  The good things, for me, included all the concentration on bondage and submission.  I really enjoyed that aspect of it, and was happy to see them skirt that bondage-with-sex line that, in America, so many pornographers are reticent to cross.  They don't really cross it here either, but sometimes, just the suggestion of it is enough.  Another perk of this movie is Haley Paige.  I love Haley, and even though she is involved in frustratingly little actual sex here, her pretty face and lovely body is featured in every scene to a certain degree.  Her anal encounter with Tommy Gun was the highlight of the movie for me, but even it was a bit of a let down.  The sex is where the movie fell flat.  There's an overabundance of oral action, and not near enough variety of intercourse, or exploration of real domination / submission themes.  Instead it all seems... hollow somehow--flat and two-dimensional.  The fact is, if you really want to see a movie that wonderfully explores the world of BDSM in a much more dynamic and fascinating way, you simply must check out this movie's inspiration:  Secretary directed by Steven Shainberg and starring James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhaal.  It's a beautiful movie, it's far more arousing, and it really has a sense that the writers knew what they fuck they were talking about--and that's way more than I can say for this movie.  The stupid-ass story would almost be acceptable if they'd featured some better sexual encounters, but even the hardcore aspects of the movie are of questionable worth.

ANYway, as I was saying before, the movie isn't all bad.  And for you Carmen Luvana fans, this is her first anal scene.  It is indeed a decent one, so I don't imagine you'll want to miss that.  Me--I didn't really care.  Regardless, the fact is there are so few porn movies that even superficially explore the marriage of bondage and hardcore sex that I can't help but at least give this one a half-hearted nod for those who are after that kind of thing.  For everyone else... well, I'd really recommend a rental before making any further commitments.

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