|Paige Shagwell, P.I.: Lust At Sea (2001)|
With all of the emphasis on higher
quality and harder porn these days, we tend to forget that the staple of the
adult movie, the one-day wonder, used to be the norm. They had bad acting,
silly plots, and a lot of vanilla sex -- some were good but most were average or
below. Lust At Sea is proof that they still make the hardcore
equivalent of the B-movie. It helped me to keep an open mind knowing not
to expect much. So how does it stack up?
The plot, if you can call it that, seems to be that Paige Shagwell (playing the title role) is a private investigator. There's little bits of dialogue that tie the sex together, mostly involving undercover work to sting dancers involved in prostitution. Despite the title, most of the movie is not set at sea, and the only link to the water is a 110-ft. yacht that the performers have sex on in the last half. The ending is very abrupt and practically worthless -- Jim Gunn might as well have put "THE END" right after the last cumshot.
The problems in this one abound: The acting is pretty bad....a lot of flubbed lines and dialogue delivered while almost cracking up laughing, like nervous schoolgirls in a class play. Just about everyone has at least one large tattoo, sometimes more. The female orgasms are fake, as are many of their tits. There's an interracial scene featuring a very, very skinny black gentleman with a very long schlong. Unfortunately, while there are some nice looking penetration and BJ shots, the enthusiasm is not there and he is built more like David Chapelle than I'd care to see in my porn. Next, depending on your perspective, no anal sex may be a bad thing or a good thing (strangely, it's very apparent that anal is absent in this one). Finally, as typical with Jim Gunn's girl-girl work, he focuses a lot on kissing and toys, using South Florida dancers who probably are gay for pay.
That's not to say that it's all bad. Paige looks great in her skin-tight tie-dyed 60's outfit leading into the first scene. She performs well with her husband, Joe, and doesn't have any problem bringing him to a nice pop. And despite the clear lack of excitement during the lesbian scenes, what red-blooded male could not enjoy seeing a girl getting eaten out on a leaning palm tree or a group of girls going at it? There are a couple of really good dripping tongue cumshots that would be awesome if not for some poor editing. And, it's always fun seeing veggies in porn!
Aside from the occasional video glitch and some background noise, the audio and video quality is very good. The DVD itself is pretty no-frills, other than nice main and chapter menus and a large photo gallery of mostly hardcore pictures. Overall, it's a pretty disposable fuck flick, again reminiscent of the thousands of "features" churned out by the San Fernando Valley studios over the years, just with better presentation quality. I wouldn't spend more than a few bucks for it, but then again, I didn't think it was awful, just your average bump & grind porno B-movie.