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Ozporns, The

Studio: VCA
Category:  Comedy , Feature film
Directed by:
Starring: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Released on: 
Where to buy:DVD NewDVD RentStreaming/Download
astroknight's ratings for Ozporns, The:
Overall Rating 5 stars
Ozporns, The overall rating 5 stars
Female Looks Ozporns, The Female looks rating 4.5 stars
Male Looks Ozporns, The Male looks rating 3.5 stars
Sex Ozporns, The Sex rating 4.5 stars
 
Plot/Acting Ozporns, The Plot/Acting rating 5 stars
Extras Ozporns, The DVD Extras rating 5 stars
Audio/Video Quality Ozporns, The A/V Quality rating 5 stars
Worth$25.00
Rating Scale
Reviewed by astroknight  on  12/12/2002

Running Time: 117 min.

Production Date: 05 / 2002

Director: Antonio Passolini

Cast: Calli Cox, Chloe, Aria, Nikita Denise, Samantha Sterlyng, Sindee Coxx, Tanya Danielle, Tawny Roberts, Baz, Cheyne Collins, Steve Hatcher, Kyle Stone, Marty Romano, Pat Myne, and Ricky in sexual roles and Tina Tyler, Fred J. Lincoln, and many others in non-sex roles

Initial Expectations: There are two things about todayís television that I really hate. The first is reality shows. The second is MTV. Therefore, I canít wait to watch one of my favorite directors parody MTVís reality TV show.

Initial Reaction: Itís good enough to make you bark at the moon.

Who Should Watch It : Anybody who wants hot sex in a hilarious movie

Who Should Avoid It: Anybody who wants soft, quiet, and boring porn

Audio /Video Quality: The technical aspects are excellent, and even exceed VCAís normally high standards. The audio is clear and well balanced, without any signs of background noises. The video is also extremely clear and well lit, and seems darn near perfect.

Music: Much of the music has a hard rock feel, which of course fits the feature great. Thereís also a little bit of softer music that also feels great. Pantisi Sera helps Antonio Passolini with the music, and it all works great. All of the music is extremely well balanced with the rest of the audio.

Menus: The menus are standard for VCA. The main menu has their standard music and a little clip of the movie going on in one area, which is very tiring since it looks almost identical to most every other VCA main menu out there. The chapter menu, however, is nicely done. It lets you choose a scene based on a small clip of the scene and the name of the leading lady in the scene, and even lets you jump to specific positions and sex acts.

The Feature: Although some might think itís not easy being a world famous rock star known for shoving a fruit bat up his arse, Izzy Ozporn (Baz) seems to think he has a perfectly normal family. He has an animal loving wife Sherri (Tina Tyler), two somewhat normal college kids John and Fiona (Cheyne Collins and Tawny Roberts, respectively), and a personal assistance (Sindee Coxx) who loves to flash her tits, have Izzy grope them, and constantly tries to get into his pants. Izzyís mindís a little burnt from doing a few too many drugs, which he now refuses to allow in his house, but he knows he needs a lot of bran to take a shit despite things like Sherriís pets getting lost outside and John shooting pornos in the house.

Nikita Denise starts out showing thereís no rest for the wicked as she takes on Pat Myne and Izzyís son, Cheyne Collins. Neither of the guys can remember what happened the night before, so Nikita offers to show them. She starts out sucking Pat while Cheyne licks her slit, and doesnít blink an eye when Cheyne comes up to get a little oral loving too. Pat fucks Nikita first, spanking her when she asks for it, and sucks Cheyne while he pulls her hair as heís instructed. Cheyne spoons Nikitaís ass when he gets his turn, before he and Pat team up to give Nikita the best of both worlds with a double penetration. They finish it up with Nikita taking a great wide eyed double facial. Itís a hot scene to open things with, and show just why Nikita is so popular.

Izzyís daughter Tawny Roberts she isnít partial to the iron man as she gets busy with her college gal-pals Tanya Danielle and Calli Cox in her room. They start out letting their tongues do the work before breaking out a couple toys. Calli gets to be the first recipient of the toys before Tawny moves on to ride Calliís strap-on, which Tanya occasionally sucks clean when she isnít fucking herself with a silver dildo. Finally, Calli fucks Tanyaís bald beaver from behind with her strap-on before the girls finish things off with a kiss. Itís a really good all girl scene with great chemistry and energy. The girls all play nicely off of each other and keep things well balanced rather than having one of the girls dominating and looking like a master of puppets.

Izzy gets behind the camera when he stumbles across Steve Hatcher filming Marty Romano taking on Samantha Sterlyng and Aria but wanting to get in on the action. Although Izzyís first reaction is no bone movies, he quickly changes his mind when Sindee Coxx tells him how much money is involved. Samantha quickly breaks off Marty to start sixty-nining Steve, and the entire group quickly moves on to start fucking. The girls start out with a little vag action before both Aria and Samantha move on to let the guys stretch their sphincters as well as each taking an impressive facial. Itís a pretty good scene, but concentrated a little much on Samantha and Steve. In the commentary, Antonio comments that all the cocks donít necessarily belong to who you think they might, so I think Marty was having more than a little trouble performing. Itís really too bad since Ariaís been darn impressive in every scene Iíve watched her in so far.

Chloe says goodbye to romance as she takes on Cheyne Collins and Kyle Stone during her casting call in the next scene after Sherrie takes away a paranoid Izzy. She sucks both guys before Cheyne has Kyle fuck Chloe so can watch how she does in one position. Kyle bones Chloe missionary style while she sucks Cheyne, and then lets Cheyne bone her from behind as she gives Kyle a stiff upper lip. Finally, Chloe gives Cheyne the pleasure of a double penetration before taking a nice facial that Chloe looks to completely enjoy. Itís a hot scene with great chemistry. Chloe and Kyle do a great job starting it off right as themselves, and keep the scene going extremely well.

White boy rapper Ricky, who normally impressed me as being more suited for gay porn than straight, takes on his wife Tawny Roberts in the bathroom for the penultimate scene. He starts out tonguing and fingering her bald twat before she gives him an energetic sucking and stroking. Tawny lets Ricky fuck her as she lays back on the tub, and then turns around for him to fuck each of her holes. Ricky finally pops his load into Tawnyís mouth without even a cry of ďMama Iím coming homeĒ, and Tawny takes it all without batting an eye. Once again, Ricky shows all the talent of a rotten tomato, leaving me wonder why Tawny gives him love and affection when heís anything but excitable.

Finally, Sindee Coxx takes on Baz, her real life husband. She starts out giving Baz some energetic head, and taking him all the way down her throat without so much as blinking an eye. She makes Baz put on a condom since she read some kind of press release from somebody called VCA, and then hops up to get the mandatory reverse cowgirl out of the way and take Baz to Paradise City. They take a break to sixty-nine before Baz bones Sindee from behind. He finally pops in Sindeeís mouth, which Sindee takes wide eyed and with no more tears, while groaning away. Itís a great scene with great energy and chemistry.

The Ozporns shows why I consider Antonio Passolini one of the best directors around. The sex is all darn hot and nastier than most people think of VCA being. The non-sex portions are just as good, and every bit as enjoyable as the sex scenes. I found myself laughing while watching this just as often as I was grabbing for my package, and there was no shortage of that here. The only shortcoming of the movie is Ricky, who doesnít seem to fit in straight porn. The Ozporns should be darn at the top of everybodyís list of movies to see, and is one of the best features Iíve seen this year.

Extras: VCA has packed this one full of extras. As usual, VCA has nicely provided a wall to wall option, that lets you view the movie without any of the fast forward fodder, as well as true multiple angles in each scene. Bios are included for Tawny Roberts, Chloe, Sindee Coxx, and Nikita Denise, each of which includes a few photos of the star, a list of some of the starís VCA credits, a little personal information, and a link to the starís scene. The photo gallery lasts about two and a half minutes with about seven seconds per nice looking full screen photo. Thereís also a behind the scenes gallery with fifteen very nice looking photos. Trailers are included for Unreal, Sex World 2002, and Mondo Porno. Of course, thereís also internet and contact information.

In a very different touch, you can listen to the soundtrack for the feature. You can either listen to the entire soundtrack, loop the entire soundtrack for continuous playback, or select a specific song to listen to. As the music plays, you can jump directly to the scene the song comes from.

Antonio Passolini gives a solo commentary for the movie, and talks a lot about the show, which he canít name, that his movie is based on. He sounds a little dead at first, but with Antonio you donít know whether heís being that way on purpose. It might also be due to Antonio being reduced to a second class citizen who canít smoke while recording a commentary. Antonio gives quite a bit of background information on the feature, and throws in plenty of obscure references. I wouldnít call this a full length commentary, since Antonio doesnít talk during the sex scenes. This is one of the problems of having only one person doing the commentary, rather than having a few people get together to do it. As usual, Antonio has good stuff to say throughout the commentary, and is darn funny, but I think it would have been much better with a couple other people joining him.

The outtakes featurette lasts about three and three quarter minutes. Thereís plenty of flubbed lines, since much of the feature was ad-libbed, as well as a few sexual blunders. Itís a lot of fun, and well worth the few minutes it takes to watch.

The behind the scenes featurette lasts about fifteen minutes. Itís nicely broken apart by title screens, and has plenty of interviews with the stars and glimpses of the scenes and the photo gallery being shot. I would have liked a few more interviews, since you barely get to see Sindee and Baz, but itís still a pretty good featurette.

Finally, thereís the game Whereís Izzy. You search the Izzyís estate to try and find him. As you play, youíre sometimes given scenes from the movie. If you play it right, you get the VCA Exclusive Behind the Myth: Izzy Ozporn featurette, which lasts about eight minutes. Itís a great look back at the life of Izzy Ozporn, complete with interviews with his wife Sherri, some of his friends, and other celebrities that know him. Yes, thereís even a bit about the bat up the bum. You can get to the featurette without playing the game, so make sure you take the time to watch it.

Themes: Straight, group, spanking, anal, DP, lesbian, toys, and masturbation

Raincoat Factor: Medium

Overall: Currently, most of VCAís DVDs can be found online for between $17 and $25 with most stores offering them for around $20. This one is even worth the upper end. The movieís hilarious and hot, the transferís as close to perfect as Iíve seen in a long time, and itís even packed with extras.

Note to VCA: Great job here!!!!

If you have any questions or comments, please e-mail me .

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