Cast: Kylie Ireland, Joelean, Terra Part, Calli Cox, Kianna, Cherie, Brad Armstrong, Joel Lawrence, Pat Myne, Lee Stone, Kyle Stone and Jason McCain in sex roles; Jonathan Morgan plus several unidentified actors in non-sex roles.
Director: Jonathan Morgan
Production date: 6/3/01
Length: 84 min.
Extras: A 20-min. behind-the-scenes featurette, a 12-min. interview with Kylie, a 2-min. interview with Kianna, six audio bios (Kylie, Kianna, Joel, Jonathan, Brad, Lee), 12 trailers, 3 min. of photo shoot footage, main slide show with 20 photos, behind-the-scenes slide show with 20 photos, individual slide shows for three actresses (16–20 photos each for Kylie, Calli, Kianna), various Wicked promotional materials and at least 11 Easter eggs.
Audio/visual quality: The camera style is pleasing, with smooth pans connecting a variety of interesting angles. The lighting and focus are competent, and there's a balanced blend of wide, medium and close-up shots. The only visual flaws I've noticed are a few sporadic artifacts.
The music is fun and appropriately themed to the scenes. There are some blemishes in the audio: the opening scene's dialog is muffled, the final scene's sex talk is often too quiet, and minor wind and airplane noises occur in a couple of places. Otherwise, the audio balance is usually about right, and the overall volume is good.
First impression: I feel no urges to "change the channel" while this movie is playing!
Scene highlights: When Kylie Ireland can't stop her husband's snoring, she soothes her crankiness by grabbing the remote instead. Half watching, half dozing, Kylie's sleepy brain transforms every late nite TV show into a campy wet dream.
The first program is a western. Joel Lawrence ("Johnny Ringo") strides into the saloon and confronts card cheat Pat Myne ("White Willy"). "You doin' time with my woman?" he demands in a menacing tone, and the locals clear out fast. But before the showdown can begin, Kylie intervenes to determine for herself who's the better man. She starts by testing the lengths of their cocks in her mouth. Being a loose woman, Kylie doesn't insist on the usual oral warm-up and goes straight to fucking instead, with lots of unladylike language. After each man gets a good, energetic poke at her pussy, Kylie bounces on Joel's sizable saddle horn in reverse cowgirl anal. Pat then lopes along Kylie's back trail in missionary. Joel proves he's the faster gun, but only by about three seconds. An otherwise impressive double facial is partially ruined by the distracting presence of a crew member in the background, directly behind Kylie.
The next channel shows Brad Armstrong saving his dojo by defeating an evil ninja. Geisha girl Kianna lets him unwrap her kimono as a reward. The oral sex and blowjob are done quicker than you can cry a kihap, but the vaginal action that follows is nice and energetic. The outdoor setting (on a wooden deck) and Asian-inspired music are pretty, as well. Kianna ultimately displays her own mystical powers by sucking her hero to a wankless facial.
Calli Cox and Lee Stone make prehistoric love after narrowly escaping a pterodactyl (actually a puppet, complete with strings). Calli creates some spittle stringers of her own during the blowjob. Both performers enjoy making primitive grunts while working through four vaginal positions. Calli catches Lee's ooga booga goo on her tongue. Other reviewers have noted a lack of chemistry in this scene, but it's actually one of my favorites on the disc. Calli smiles sweetly and establishes good eye contact with Lee. The misty landscape and moody lighting look cool, as well.
Horrors! A masked clown with a chain saw nearly cuts Kylie to ribbons, but she finds refuge in Kyle Stone's cabin. Kyle offers some cozy oral comfort, including rimming. Kylie shows her gratitude by inviting him fully down her throat. After a nice, strong ride in reverse cowgirl, Kylie lets Kyle take her pussy from behind in the prone position (which looks great and is all too uncommon in porn). He enjoys the anal missionary so much that he's able to pull out and climax on her face without jerking off. Kylie and Kyle seem to really get into each together, and the friendly heat between them makes this scene a real standout.
They say all's fair in love and war, and when soldier Jason McCain goes down on the battlefield, nurse Terra Part knows just how to compensate him for his sacrifice. Jason feels much better after some tender kisses and a taste of Terra's healing juices. He risks taking an enemy bullet by standing tall during the blowjob. The vaginal positions include missionary, reverse cowgirl and spooning. They affectionately gaze into the whites of each others eyes right before Jason dribbles his friendly fire onto Terra's chin.
Kylie and friends redefine the term "broadcast" with their dildo infomercial. Joelean and Cheri are relaxing in an outdoor hot tub when Kylie arrives to show her goods. The girls have a lot of fun with the toys; Cheri does her very first onscreen "double penetration," and Kylie performs her own technical DP, as well. Like many lesbian scenes, this one is nice as far as it goes, but it cuts off in mid-action with no obvious orgasms from any of the participants.
Without question, my favorite extras on this DVD are the Easter eggs. They're not difficult to find, and many of them are extremely amusing. I don't want to put too many spoilers here, but if you'd like to know more about the bonus material that's hidden on this disc, please read Astroknight's excellent review.
Thumbs up: Even though I go months at a time without watching any television, these scenarios are sufficiently funny to keep a huge grin on my face. The sex is naughty enough to hold my interest, too. Fans of facials should note that they occur in every scene (except, of course, for the lesbian one).
Thumbs down: This DVD occasionally falls short of its potential. There's no one particular thing holding the rating back, just a combination of small issues. For example, the continuity errors (e.g. clothing that magically slips on and off) bother me a little. And though I've tried to ignore it, I really hate seeing the crew member peeking through the curtains during Kylie's first facial. The movie is still hot and hilarious, though, so don't let these nitpicky details affect your enjoyment.
Themes: Straight, lesbian, threeway, oral, deepthroating, anal, rimming (male to female, female to female), DP (technical), toys (dildos), facials.
Condom use: Yes, except for the lesbian scene.
Final analysis: The next time you find there's "nothing to watch" on TV, try this fun porno instead. I guarantee it won't put you to sleep.