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Not Married With Children XXX

Studio: LFP Video
Category:  Comedy , Feature film
Directed by:
Starring: , , , , , , , , ,
Released on: 
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bono-ONE's ratings for Not Married With Children XXX:
Overall Rating 4.5 stars
Not Married With Children XXX overall rating 4.5 stars
Female Looks Not Married With Children XXX Female looks rating 4.5 stars
Male Looks Not Married With Children XXX Male looks rating 3 stars
Sex Not Married With Children XXX Sex rating 4 stars
 
Plot/Acting Not Married With Children XXX Plot/Acting rating 4.5 stars
Extras Not Married With Children XXX DVD Extras rating 5 stars
Audio/Video Quality Not Married With Children XXX A/V Quality rating 4.5 stars
Worth$19.00
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Reviewed by bono-ONE  on  9/2/2009
Good day porn fans time to check out another popular show that has undergone the XXX Treatment! I must confess upfront to not being very familiar with the show. Not sure why but I never got into watching it on a regular basis. But I do know that this show helped out the FOX network back when it was just a fledgling entity and I'm sure Kelly, Peg and Al all helped along with a few other things-- NFL anyone! I do know one thing and that's Jeff Mullen & Scott David know their shit, know how to put together a funny and sexy adaptation of whatever show is in their sites and this time out it's the Bundy Clan. In the Travelogue section of the BTS we learn that one of the actual castmembers made a surprise set visit and actually gave his blessing to this production, nope not Al but his son David Faustino.

So I'll leave it to others to say how accurate the details are overall but from my point of view having seen a Will Ryder movie a time or two the nods to the actual show will be many, some overt and some maybe just the die hards will see-- those are probably the best right. Looking like the cast members isn't as important really as the vibe you'll get, do they try and embody the character and from what Scott and Jeff said Eric Swiss as Al does well and from the bits I watched so far I'd agreee, the dry humor, the quick comebacks-- speaking of those Brittany O'Connell had a few of those too. The kids were played by Kagney Linn Karter who was doing one of her first flicks in the skin biz, since she's really exploded on the gonzo scene and Dane Cross is the other sibling Bud. Of the peripheral characters Marcie might be the most known and India Summer plays her. Scott envisioned her as a butch and conservative character and tried to dress her accordingly, I laugh a bit as we know now that the actress who played Marcie is a lesbian, me I remember her first and foremost as the hottie from the first Fright Night!

So now let's hit the highlights, again the more avid viewers of the show will appreciate the dialogue and storyline-- following it, more than I will probably but I know Will Ryder and co. put a great deal of time, effort, and care into their projects so those areas should be well represented along with the sex which I know is also very important to a lot of you out there. I did watch a little YouTube action on the show to help reacquaint myself with the whole Bundy world and as the opening credits roll I couldn't help but notice the song wasn't much like the tv version but it sounded good, the whole orchestra vibe was cool. You get a great ID for each person, not with their character name but the porn name which is helpful. Brittany O'Connell as Peg might be the closest to physically resembling her tv counterpart-- mostly due to the red beehive and the clothes, I do remember the leopard prints as being something she wore so kudos to Scott there for that touch. Eric Swiss might not physically resemble his tv version== and that might be a good thing, lol. Now his mannerisms are another thing and you'll be the judge on how good Eric does in that regard. One thing they get spot on during the opening credits here is the kids coming up to Al who looks so defeated sitting on his beloved couch, their hands darting out and Al not even looking shoving his hard earned cash into them and they walk off. Even his 'beloved' Peg can't resist coming around to at least sit next to him before receiving her cash payoff. So the song's over and we hit the shoe store where Al slaves away trying to earn a living. Brad Henry is there also, a coworker who doesn't hesitate to rub his success in Al's face. I liked too how we hear the audience clapping and the only thing missing was the Filmed Before a Live audience tagline on the screen, lol. The guys shoot the shit for a bit and it's not good for Al who missed out on a big sales opportunity earlier in the day. Now a Wil Ryder comedy will have a lot of dialogue in it and believe me I've seen the scripts. These people put in the time too getting it right and you get multiple takes to get all the angles which are then edited down/ together forming this seemless picture we are now enjoying. As Jeff Mullen stated in the Travelogue Eric Swiss just hit this role so good with how he delivered his lines and the facial expressions too, much like Thomas Ward did in the Cosby's XXX flick. Well we then hit the Bundy house where Peg and Bud are relaxing, the tv show sounded like Cops, lol. Al wonders what's for dinner, he's only had a mustard packet in the last two days, lol. No time to cook Peg said, left over pizza from last week in the fridge, just cut around the mold!! Oh man, work all day and come home to this, hehe. More dialogue here and the cast handles it well, some quick comebacks and then Peg brings up the big issue, it's time to have the Sex talk with Kelly so they call her down. Now having watched the tv show on youtube I have to say they did a great job with the living room set.

Kagney Linn Karter:

Oh yeah, we finally see Kagney and hello, I know Christina Applegate is hot but Kagney really lights up the screen, the sex talk doesn't go to well but we learn Kelly already knows about the birds and bees! Marcie then drops by and discusses the woes of her marriage but then spending time with the Bundy's makes her realize she doesn't have it that bad!! As this chat session is going on downstairs we're taken upstairs where Kelly is readying herself for her big date that night. Is it me or does every Will Ryder comedy open with a solo girl scene,lol. I'm not complaining as we get several great upclose shots on Kagney's body and the tits, pussy, ass-- all very nice and can't wait to see someone playing with her, Kagney does some of that here as you'll enjoy. A little toy play as well for good measure. This was a fine appetizer but I think something a little more substantive is needed soon.

We first get a little more dialogue as Peg and Al discuss his job, how Brad is being a dick to him at work and Al wants to get even-- but the last time he tried to get even was with a Priest for stealing a parking spot from him and this gives us an amusing laugh. Peg aka Brittany is really having fun with her zingers which she can deliver with a smile while Eric as Al has to be more deadpan-- both equally effective but from different ends of the comedy spectrum. They pipe in the crowd clapping too every so often when a particularly good line is zinged. Later that night we're treated to a nightmare of Al's, lol. He's at work and Brad is really laying it on about how much of a disgrace he is to the shoe profession. Al wakes up his wife who says if you're gonna dream out loud like that then at least do it about Sly Stallone or Wayne Newton, haha. Al decides to head down for a glass of milk but what do we have here, Kelly giving head to Barrett Blade, oh yeah Kagney sucking cock!! It's so funny, the light comes on and Eric walks right by the two on the couch, goes and gets his milk and finally the delayed reaction kicks in and he glances over to the two who have righted themselves and are pretending to play cards-- though Kagney's still in her pink sexy slip. The boytoy is told to leave or his testicles face certain destruction,lol. Barrett doesn't need to be asked twice so he books. Al then has a seat with his daughter and they have a cute father/ daughter chat! Kelly's told that Mom's holding a pre-divorce party the next night for Marcie and there'll be a male stripper in the house and she's not to touch him. She agrees saying she'll sit in the corner looking at pictures in a book- yeah right!

India Summer:

So flash forward to the next night and along with Kelly we have Marcie, Peg and two other people, Peyton Leigh and Kora Cummings and who is the male stripper but none other than Keith Partridge, hehe, I mean Nick Manning! The long black hair, the jet black fur coat and hello is that an elephant truck between your legs or are you just glad to see these ladies. The ladies enjoy Nick that's for sure, making lots of comments and generally enjoying themselve. The whole dollar bill in the thong thing working too. We get a quick shot of Dino Bravo, that's Marcie's hubby, and Al over at their place and Dino wonders what's going on, nothing dude, your wife just being a sweet angel! A little more with the guys, finally Al has another fellow who's in the shitter along with him and he makes fun, oh Al you are bad! There is a quick dick suck for Kora Cummings before Marcie gets to take the stipper upstairs for a private show-- make sure you use Al's side of the bed Peg yells as they disappear from view. Finally our first real sex scene and the two hit it hard with kissing, the clothes start coming off on India, not much to take off on Nick's end. Some good bj action here from India, close view was good and we get some great views for the sex too, loved the in close shot as she rode in reverse, the legs opened so good here. There's some doggie action too before all's said and done. We close with Mr. Manning dropping his load in her mouth and it's a good one too as you'll see the cum oozing out, coating her chin, cleanup too from India.

So it's the next day and Al inquires about the party, ahh nothing much happened but at least the stripper finally came, lol. Al mentions the car's out of gas but he can't seem to find the emergency fund stash he has for such an occasion. Turns out Peg used it up last night tipping Nick, she and Kelly share a private laugh about it. Of course Al makes it in, he needs his daily dose of humiliation. Bad news too immediately as Al's now on probation from the head office for declining sales, Brad didn't do a good job of hiding his joy at sharing this news. Is it me or does Brad Hardy remind anyone else of Tom Hanks, lol. In desparation Al turns to Brad, asking for help to save his job and in a surprise Brad agrees even going so far as to give Al a couple passes to a 'beauty salon' and no it isn't for his hair if you get my drift, this is a special salon! So back at home Al is trying to hide the passes when his son Bud sneaks up on him-- isn't that when someone always taps you on the shoulder when you're trying to hide something. Al ends up leaving the passes with him, one's for Peg to pamper her but also get her out of the house so he can watch the game and the other is for him-- but Bud ends up using it of course!

Allyssa Hall, Emy Reyes & Brooke Belle:

So young Bud his the spa/ salon to cash in one of the passes and is taken to chair where he's immediately surrounded by the three lovely ladies. He instantly goes into fantasy mode and the smoke clears leaving him there along with the girls, now naked! All Dane has to do is sit there and enjoy it while Brooke frees his cock and is soon sucking hard on it. Allyssa and Emy are basic eye candy then each getting in a nearby chair and playing with themselves while Dane's now busy nailing Brooke in mish. We get shots on the other two but the main deal is Brooke being nailed by Dane closing hard in doggie, the chair's a rockin by the time he shoots his load to her face. Wish we would have had Allyssa and Emy doing something more than just sitting and masturbating, perhaps some g/g on the side would've been nice. Well that was some Happy Ending for Bud don't you think! Oh wait, he was dreaming as the smoke comes back and he's taken back to reality and turns out he was only getting his hair done but he was sleep walking/ dreaming and ended up jerking off in their sink, ewww from the ladies, haha.

Ok so we're back to Brad and Al at the store and we get a tip for our hard working shoe salesman. Girls like it when you sneak a peek up their skirts when they're trying on shoes-- gets them in the mood Brad says. So we get a customer on queue and it's Kimber James-- ok I think most of you will know Kimber's packing!! If you don't know what I mean well Al finds out for you as he helps put a heel on Kimber's feet. The legs open and hello it's ahh well how should I put it, a it's a cock!!Al keeps his compusure and goes over to Brad to share what he saw, well Brad doesn't believe it and sends Al back for a second look. The other heel's put on, the legs get spread even wider and I think Kimber sees that Al's checking her out and she says it's a size 9 and Al's like you don't say, lol. Al leaves then to throw up and Brad's laughing wonder if this was just another set up on his part.

Madison Scott:

Alright we stay at the shoe store and we get another customer and Al quips I wonder if it's a girl, lol. I can assure you that Madison is all girl having seen her in person on another Will Ryder set. Al's told to lock the door and observe the master at work. Madison sits down, Brad heads over with some heels for her and a mint-- this must be a special mint too as after she takes it in the two are instantly kissing, thumbs up from Brad to Al who can't believe what he's witnessing. The clapping comes in as we get the jeans pulled off and Brad is soon face deep in coochie, nice open shot too as Madison leans back. The boobies come out too when the shirts lifted up, pretty much pussy eating early on here. Miss Scott then gets a go and she is fairly eager too, gagging real good and there's some POV shots worked in. The two hit a few positions here, showing off Miss Scott's bod and we end up with the pop fired to her open mouth, a good load too with cleanup after once it's swallowed, I think Brad earned his commission there don't you!

Brittany O'Connell & Eric Swiss:

We head back to the ole Bundy homestead where an awestruck Al recaps what he watched and Peg can't believe it. She comments on the whole mint thing though, perhaps it's an aphrodisiac she says. Well Al found some that Brad left lying by the register and he gives one to Peg and hey why not Al tries one too. So for the first time in years, haha, the two have sex. Brittany looking so good in her lavender nightie, helps move the bed spread so she can get to Al's big shoe!! Some fine head here from Miss O'Connell who has been here a time or two over her career, Will and Miles do well with the angles keeping us in tight when the action calls for it and then giving you a broader perspective such as Eric's fingers swinging around to diddle Brittany's pussy!! Ok how about some Bundy 69 action, Brittany on top and Eric snacking away on her pussy-- loved it that they had her ass facing out to us here. A couple real good positions here, reverse with the titties and then a great open shot for doggie where Eric really drives the point home. The pop to close is mostly fired to her tits, some hits the hair and we get some cleanup from Brittany, ahh marital bliss at its finest!

Kagney Linn Karter:

All that's left now is for Kagney to get her freak on, seems all the other Bundy's have so why not the hot older daughter getting in on the fun. She hits the living room where Al and Peg are back in their depressed married state. Kagney's sporting a skin tight halter top which screams out BOOBS!!! The daisy duke shorts were a great touch as well. The parents call Kelly over and she fears it's a continuation of the birds & bees chat but nope they want her help to blackmail Brad at Al's job-- Kagney is most happy to help out. So it's back to the shoe store where Al and Brad are checking out the latest female shoe victim, his daughter but of course Brad doesn't know this. Brad makes a few comments, even asks Al to lock the door again, the fuming is almost visible as Al wants to throttle the throat but he holds back, content to let the trap spring. Kelly plays her part here too, spreading the legs wide, loved the lavender lingerie panties she had on. Brad doesn't know she dropped the mint he gave her behind the chair so he thinks he's golden, about to score. But nope Al jumps in takes the incriminating pic and Brad's history. Kelly was turned on, though, so she needs to get some relief. Enter Reno who is her latest squeeze. The two hit the Bundy house for one last time. Al warns her of some escaped prisoners in the area but she's not worried because the guy she's meeting at their house is one of them! Cut to Reno trying to free himself from the shackles, the prison orange still on his body. Kelly plays the blonde bimbo role here to perfection wondering how perfect he wears the orange. The cuffs come off and Reno is free to dive face first into Kelly's pussy, loved the close shots and the cooing from Miss Karter was great too. The titties come out and then it's head time and Kagney already showed she can handle the sword, well now we get some extended time enjoying her work. Some great riding in reverse here and then a fantastic open doggie shot, that asshole so primed for action, we can hope right! So for all those fantasizing about Kelly Bundy you finally get some semblance of what it would be like her fucking, thanks Kagney. All that's left is the pop and it's a great open mouth pop. She pushes some out and as the cum's coating her chin Kagney delivers some fine cleanup to Reno.

So as the two are putting their clothes back on everyone starts coming in, first Bud then the parents and finally Marcie along with hubby. Al keeps asking who Reno is while everyone else is commenting on Kelly getting Brad fired from the his job, who's this Al keeps askin, lol. Kelly finally says I don't know who he is and Reno's told to leave. A short time later everyone is watching the boob tube when newsflash they get a photo of the last escaped prisoner and Kelly's like hey that looks like the guy I just met, hehe. This leads to everyone leaping up and starting off in all different directions and it's here we get the freeze shot and the crowd claps one last time.

Extras & Final Thoughts:

Well fans there you have it. The take on one of tv's better family shows-- hehe. The sex was good but it was the acting/ storyline that drove this one and you have to give Eric Swiss a lot of credit for his fine acting chops. Peg played by Brittany O'Connell had a lot of great zingers delivered with gusto. Brad didn't have as much to do in this one played by Dane but we're told he'll be featured more in the second one. Kagney was very good as the blonde bimbo here, her body sizzling hot and we can only hope for more of her in the next one, perhaps some g/g action! The extras for this flick are extensive. I touched on the travelogue where Jeff and Scott recount their experiences making this movie. There are a total of three BTS segments to enjoy and I'd definitely take a look at them to get a small glimpse into how such a project is undertaken. It's a massive effort from everyone and the days are long but it all comes together in the editing room where we get this the final product. There are porn bloopers too and we know those are hilarious so for sure have a look see at them. An easy purchase for fans of parodies and from the little bit of the show I've seen I think the crew here did a great job with a nod and a wink to Married with Children, well done.



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