|Where to buy:||DVD New|
Mr Chews Asian Beaver is taken from the website of the same name. Judging from the title, I expect zero anal, and I expect all the girls to be Asian. I've taken keen interest in Twisted Pink, the company that produces this line as well as Big League Facials and Barefoot Maniacs, because they have signed my fave stud of all time, Julian, to an exclusive contract. If I want new Julian, I must get him from Twisted Pink. I've watched several downloads from various sites in the Twisted Pink network, and I like the tone of their scenes. If I were going to direct all-sex porn, this is how I'd do it. Even the sets, which are obviously a bunch of "rooms" in a big warehouse, appeal to me. The place is a big porn factory--there's nothing fancy about it. All Asian Beaver scenes begin with the female talent looking into the camera while being interviewed by producer Lola. She asks the girls their likes and dislikes, asks them to "give us a tour" of their bodies, and occasionally puts her hands on them if she can't resist. Then the stud comes in and the talent get down to business. Often Lola banters with the couple from off camera, usually with the stud, enticing a little commentary. With such bare-bones production values, the success or failure of any scene hinges on chemistry. Lola's usually good about pairing the right guy with the right Asian Beaver. So... let's see what kind of chemistry we've got today.
Michelle Maylene with Julian
Julian's only scene on the disc. Grr. There should be more! But alas, this is what we have. Off camera, Lola interviews Michelle Maylene. Usually I hate disembodied voices in porn, because I always envision some creepy, sleazy, drooling male pornographer. In this case, I envision a pretty, sexy, drooling female pornographer, so it's okay. Cover girl Michelle has long dark hair that's streaked with blond. She flashes her cute smile when she answers that her favorite position is Doggie. Her make-up is really nice--not overdone, so you can see her pretty face. After a bit of interview, Lola introduces Michelle to Julian. Julian strolls in wearing just a pair of jeans, saying something to Lola that I couldn't hear because the music is so damn loud, it drowns out all dialogue. This pisses me off, because half the fun of watching a Twisted Pink production is hearing the talent chatter with Lola during the sex. Julian looks like Hercules compared to this tiny girl as he engulfs her entire ass in his big hands. He kisses her a bit, turns her around to inspect her, running his hands all over, before setting her down on a leather sofa. He looms over her, sprinkling kisses all over her body while she literally winks at the camera. He spreads her legs open, drops between them, and dives right in. Michelle floats off into her own little world for about 5 minutes while Julian eats her. You can't see a whole lot of what he's doing because Julian's style is to latch on and suck the clit, flicking it with his tongue at the same time. This is usually pretty effective on female talent, and you can see how much Michelle liked it by how fucked up Julian's hair is when he's done. She couldn't keep her hands out of his hair, and she ruffled it royally.
A grateful Michelle sits up to undo Julian's pants, and flashes a huge smile at the camera when his hard cock pops out. She is very pleased. Her blowjob is soft and shallow. She mostly works the head with her tongue and the shaft with her hand. She looks into the camera, rather than at Julian, during the blowjob. She seems to be having fun--she's got a sparkle in her eye. Once Julian's good and hard, he lays her back across the couch in the missionary position. He enters slowly, but you can see that it doesn't feel too good at first. He stops and lets her adjust, and you see her visibly trying to relax. Eventually he slides about halfway in and starts working it, nice and easy. After a half dozen thrusts, Michelle breaks into a huge smile and tells him, "It's feeling good now." At least that's what I think she says under all that loud music. Grr. Michelle and Julian maintain good eye contact during mish, smiling and talking to each other (yay). Michelle starts feeling really good, pulling at her own hair, rolling her head from side to side. Julian stays shallow. Looks like he can't go much deeper with her. Then comes the part that makes me envy her. Julian bends down, picks up Michelle while still buried in her pussy, and fucks her in standing cowgirl. Goddamn, I wish I were a 95-pound Asian girl. Julian bounces her up and down on his cock while she hangs on for dear life, her pussy becoming visibly wet and foamy. She leans back in his arms and they talk to each other, laughing. Awesome chemistry here. This is turning into a genuinely playful sex romp.
Julian eventually slouches back on the couch to take a rest while Michelle rides him cowgirl. He flings his arms out and lets Michelle take over, breaking into a big smile and praising, "There you go," when she finds her rhythm. Michelle gets really into it, taking Julian's hands and pinning them to the back of the couch while she grinds on him. I can't imagine one of the more aggressive Red Light District control freaks (bless their dominant hearts) submitting to such treatment--it's their loss, I guess. Julian gets himself well and truly fucked by Michelle here, storing up energy for the next position.
Cut to Michelle's stated favorite position, Doggie. Julian leans over her back, breathing and talking into her ear. Whatever he's saying turns her way on--she starts leaning back into him, pushing him in really deep. She tells him to fuck her harder, which he does after putting her knees together. This is when Michelle gets really loud. This froggy style position is really working for her, driving the head of Julian's cock down right onto her G-Spot. "Keep fucking me," she tells him, which he does without changing depth, tempo or rhythm (good man) until Michelle is a quivering, exhausted lump on the couch. Cut to a short foray into spoon, which allows Julian to put the bear hug on Michelle while exposing her entire body to the camera. This doesn't last long--sounds like Michelle's encouraging him to cum, but I can't hear her. Julian speeds up for a minute then pulls out, hops up to his knees and pops a messy load all over Michelle's face and boobs. Michelle cleans him up and then says a plug for the website. Nice, playful scene.
Kia Tolentino and Tommy Gunn
Kia is a cute little Filipina that likes it rough, or so she tells Lola. Lola strips Kia, then holds her legs open for Tommy Gunn, who enters the scene wearing jeans and a black wife-beater tank top. Tommy always reminds me of Mickey Rourke circa "9-1/2 Weeks," with his exaggerated tan and his spiky hair. Tommy doesn't float my boat, but I do appreciate the effort he puts into his physique and his skin. I think he's GORGEOUS--from the neck down. Kia lays passively while Tommy and Lola look her over. Tommy takes a taste of her pussy, then Lola takes a turn. Lola reluctantly returns behind the camera and let's Tommy do his job. I may not like his face, but I love Tommy's mouth. The man knows how to lick pussy. He's ruthless and efficient. He doesn't waste any time, just zeroes in on the clit and flicks it as fast as possible until the girl cums. Excellent. In this case, he raised Kia's legs up into the air, crossed at the ankles, basically compressing all of her feel-good reproductive parts together into a tight little pleasure ball. Nice.
Cut to Kia suddenly wearing Tommy's belt around her neck. No explanation as to how it got there. I assume she draped it onto herself while undressing him. She undoes his pants while he gathers up her hair, hard and tight at her scalp. She loves this. She swallows his hard cock whole. Kia deep-throats with zero effort. She makes it look easy, likely because she has a wide mouth (think Liv Tyler's). This is the type of deep-throating I like. I hate seeing a girl struggle to swallow a cock, and I hate it even more if she's making it look or sound difficult when it's not. Kia does it just right, taking Tommy all the way down to the balls repeatedly without once gagging. Give the girl a medal! Tommy drops back on the bed and pulls Kia into 69. Woohoo! This is shot from the foot of the bed, so we're looking at Tommy's balls while Kia blows him. Eventually she can't concentrate and just rests her head on his thigh while she quakes with orgasm. I think Tommy deserves a medal too.
Cut to reverse cowgirl, my least favorite porn position, although it seems to work well for Kia. Tommy gives her ass a few loud smacks and Kia becomes audibly wet. She's saying, "Right there, right there," when the camera suddenly cuts to Doggie. WTF? Anyway, once on her hands and knees, Kia demands that Tommy "pull my hair!" He not only grips her hair tight and firm, he pins her head down to the mattress, and presses down on the small of her back. Completely subdued, Kia launches into orbit. She turns and gives Tommy a grateful kiss after she comes down. Note to Tommy: Take off your damn watch! Tommy puts her legs together and fucks her froggy style. Nice shot of her hugging the pillows. "Holy shit, you're trembling," Tommy says, and she is--all over. She's got the shivers, and she looks blissful.
Cut to spoon in which Kia continues quaking, having another 2 or 3 orgasms. She looks like she can't take another one, but Tommy spanks her ass then plays with her clit, biting her shoulder until she has a complete meltdown. The man is ruthless! I want him. Cut to missionary--awesome eye contact between the two. Tommy brings Kia's leg over his shoulder and hugs her thigh, fucking her hard. She urges him to cum, and immediately he pulls out and pops onto her face and neck. It was nearly a creampie--he barely made it. Good scene.
Asani with Tommy Gunn
Asani is from Japan and speaks Japanese throughout this scene. As per usual, right after the interview and unveiling, Tommy dives head first into her pussy. Damn he's good. This time, he finger-fucks while licking the clit, something Asani really appreciates. Eventually Tommy pulls back and watches her cum while he works her with his fingers inside and his thumb on her clit. Yum. Asani returns the favor with a very, VERY wet blowjob. She spends long minutes licking and sucking Tommy's balls, which of course he appreciates a great deal. There's an over-shoulder shot of Asani looking up at Tommy. Good eye contact.
Cut to missionary. Maybe it's because he's already prepped her with his fingers, but I was surprised when Tommy just jammed his cock straight in to the hilt. He fucks her hard right off the bat, bringing her leg up over his shoulder and hugging her thigh. She murmurs incoherently in Japanese, and Tommy turns to kiss her ankle. Nice touch, Tommy. Cut to a very short jag in reverse cowgirl in which Tommy plays Asani's clit. Then jarring cut to cowgirl. This is when things get really good. They talk to each other a lot in this position, Tommy spanking and kneading her ass hard while Asani grinds back and forth on Tommy's cock and hard pelvis. He is mega-hard and she is mega-wet. These two click.
Cut to Doggy, which I'm coming to learn is usually Froggy for Tommy. It may look funny, but I know first-hand how good this position feels for a woman, so I'm not complaining. With her knees together and him entering from above, he's plowing straight into her G-Spot, hard. To make it even better, Tommy presses one hand hard into her tummy with the other pressed into the small of her back, further tightening and concentrating the pleasure. Dear lord. Trouble with this is, it makes the pleasure unbearable for the man too, so it can't last long. Tommy soon stands, Asani rolls over and takes his orgasm in and on her mouth. She plays in the cum with her tongue a little, and we fade to black. Good scene.
Finesse Navarro with Billy Glide
Finesse is a very pretty Filipina with beautiful, flawless skin, which the make-up artist wisely did not cover up. She's basically wearing mascara and lip gloss, her natural beauty shining through. Lola asks Finesse if it's true that Asian women have the tightest pussies. Yes, Finesse says, they do. They're just smaller all the way around, including the pussy. Lola is jealous. After stripping Finesse, she's also sexually frustrated. She calls Billy in to fuck Finesse for her. I have liked Billy Glide for years, back when he was a regular in Shane's World (with Shane). He's got kind of a goofy face, but who cares with that awesome body. And yeah, he's a bit of a nerd, but he knows how to fuck. What he doesn't do very well, at least this time, is eat pussy. He gets points for enthusiasm, but he's all over the fucking map. He starts out rimming, then he tongue-fucks her pussy, then he drools all over her clit, then he tongue-fucks her ass, then he flicks the clit a little, then... you get the idea. He never stays in one place long enough for Finesse to get into a groove. He's got oral ADD. No woman can cum with so much activity going on. Billy, slow down. Stay in one place, for chrissakes.
Thank God we cut to Finesse giving Billy a nice, deep blowjob. Mr. Glide spanks her ass many a time during this, which she seems to really like. We get an extreme close-up of Finesse really working the head of Billy's cock hard with her tongue and hand. This is way too up close for my taste, and is my least favorite shot on the whole disc.
Cut to missionary, and Billy shoves his big cock fast and hard into Finesse's pussy. He's fucking her hard enough that she's scooting across the bed, so he keeps gathering her up and hauling her back. Nice. Then Billy does something you don't see very often. He brings his leg up and over Finesse--in mish. You usually see this in doggie, but in mish it allows Billy to thrust with his legs, not just his hips, really driving in hard. He holds her legs down and Finesse starts getting louder and louder. She's digging Billy.
Cut to doggy, with a side order of spankings. Finesse is leaning hard back into Billy, and he's running his hands all over her back and ass. She cums, looks back over her shoulder at him and says, "Thank you." So he spanks her. And fucks her harder, going up and over her back. Finesse repeatedly tosses her head, flinging her hair down her back. Note to Billy: She's putting her hair within hands' reach. Pull it, doofus. He totally missed that non-verbal cue.
Cut to cowgirl, where Billy lays spread-eagled and gasping while he catches his breath. Finesse rides him fast and hard, alternating with some good grinding. He can't keep his hands off her ass for long, and spanks the hell out of her. Woohoo! Cut to a very short foray into spoon in which Finesse verbally entices Billy to cum. He fucks her right to the last second, and finishes with a messy facial. Finesse does a thorough cleanup and says a promo for the website. Despite some flaws, this is the best scene on the disc due to the rocking chemistry.
Lacey Tom with Tommy Gunn
Lacey's from Hawaii, from Korean descent. She doesn't smile a whole lot during her interview, so she seems like kind of a downer. She has pale yellow skin, which is absolutely flawless. Mickey Rourke--I mean, Tommy Gunn strolls in after Lola's interview and immediately attacks Lacey's boobs. He's just macking on them like a starving baby. Tommy being Tommy, he soon dives into the deep end of Lacey's pool and licks her thoroughly while still massaging her breasts. Lacey does have the largest, roundest natural breasts of the bunch. Lacey looks a little dizzy and the camera zooms in to a close-up of her fist clutching the sheet, knuckles white. Nice.
Cut to Lacey peeling off Tommy's jeans, spitting onto his rock-hard cock. Sudden jarring cut to... 69! Tommy's a giver, not just a taker. Good man. Lacey sucks his cock while Tommy grips her shoulders, pushing her up and down. Smooth move, and looks good too.
Cut to Lacey mounting Tommy cowgirl. It takes several tries for her to fit his cock in her pussy. She's super tight, and he's super hard. Lacey gets wetter and wetter until fucking becomes easy. She sits up, and in a really nice little moment, they just hold still. Tommy's buried in to the hilt, pushing upward, and Lacey's bearing down on him. They just hold that pose for quite some time. I can just feel her body adjusting to accommodate him. She starts a slow and easy ride, and these two are content to just absorb each other for a while. Tommy slides his hands all over her body, massages her breasts and squeezes her lower torso in his big hands--one on her tummy, one on her back. Tommy sits up to wrap her in a huge bear hug. The contrast in their skin colors is beautiful, Tommy dark bronze and Lacey pale gold. Gorgeous!
Cut to RCG where we finally get a great big, brilliant smile from Ms. Lacey. I think she's made a new friend in Mr. Gunn. Cut to mish in which Tommy hugs Lacey's legs together and holds them high. She's moaning and thrashing her head from side to side, then he pushes her knees together and plants her feet against his chest. She goes nuts.
Cut to doggy, Tommy going up and over Lacey's back. Comical expression on Tommy's face as he stares up at the ceiling, thinking about baseball as he tries not to cum. He gives her a good hard spanking and we cut to...drum roll please... Froggy. Lacey starts sounding like a police siren as he fucks her hard in this position. She's just wailing--it's almost funny. Finally she's had enough and says, "You know what I want? I want your cum." She asks for it, and she gets it. Tommy fucks her right up to the pop, into her open mouth. She does a gentle cleanup, then gives the head of Tommy's cock a few tender kisses. Fade to black.
First, some constructive criticism. LOSE THE MUSIC. It adds nothing, and it diminishes one of the neatest things about Lola's productions--her verbal involvement with the performers. And, CREDIT THE MALE TALENT ON THE COVER. Goddamn, there are some hot guys in this movie--each of which has his own fan base. Move more units by putting their names on the cover, if not their faces. Don't make it so hard for horny housewives to find Julian, for crying out loud.
I'd recommend this, at least as a rental, to all my girlfriends. I don't think it's worth buying--no single couple has completely magic electricity, but it's certainly worth 90 minutes of a girl's time. Especially if she like's Tommy Gunn, whom I'm liking more and more after seeing this. Every single scene is oriented toward the females' pleasure. Lord knows that's rare now days. I can see how some male viewers might get really bored with this format quickly. Personally I like it because it showcases chemistry very, very well. And chemistry, dear readers, is what floats Pagoda's boat. I can't give this disc 5 stars because I never got the overwhelming urge to break out Old Red, my trusty pocket rocket. I did however, memorize some tasty visuals to fuel later fantasies, and that's good enough for me--today.