|Where to buy:||DVD Rent|
|Mobster's Wife (1998)|
The First Word: One of the more acclaimed Vivid movies is ripped to shreds on the DVD release, blowing decent performances by Alexandra Silk, Stephanie Swift, Katie Gold, and Shay Sweet.
What's It About?: This is a mob comedy with definite influences from mainstream movies like Pulp Fiction and Goodfellas. Vince Vouyer stars as Vincent LaBrea (gee, I wonder how they came up with that name -- it couldn't be a tarpit, could it?), a mid-level mobster in New Jersey. He's married to Barbara Consuelo LaBrea (played by Alexandra Silk) but he's more interested in getting it on with his bimbo on the side, Madelyn (Lexus). Add to the mix his two made men, Little Mark Delgato (Mr. Marcus) and Jimmy Rubio (Tony Tedeschi).
Those two wiseguys open up with a predictable and, depending on how easily you are amused, laughable dialogue about cheesecake pie. Their boss, meanwhile, is in with Madelyn in his warehouse office. After having her warm herself up with a vibe, Vince gets blown, and then they fuck on the desk of the office. It's not a bad scene but it was poorly edited and really didn't do anything for me. Of course, the mobster's wife, Barbara, shows up outside the warehouse, forcing Vince to distract her from asking too many questions by telling her that he's taking her on a trip to California. But when they arrive at the airport, Vince tells her that work calls and that she must go to the west coast without him. He sends Jimmy Rubio to take care of her (and take care of her he does).
Instead of going with his wife to Malibu, he goes with Little Mark and Madelyn to Vegas, where he meets up with Tony The Necktie (Derrick Lane), who's getting an intimate massage from Sommer Daze. In a really short scene, Derrick and Summer engage in a little oral, then fuck vag and anal before the boring scene ends with a pearl necklace.
Fortunately, the sex picks up in a great way when Vincent meets Cara Montoya (Stephanie Swift), the daughter of mob boss Sonny Montoya in a casino bar (which looks like the inside of a defunct Indian reservation casino). "Cara" is having second thoughts about getting married, so she has a fling with the more than willing Vincent in the bathroom. It's a great scene as the two really get into it. I especially liked the great blowjob that Stephanie gives Vince, as well as the ending where she has him cover her mouth to muffle her screams. I also enjoyed watching Stephanie masturbate while pushing a vibe in and out of her ass, which she continues to do for a couple of minutes after Vince cums.
It should come as no surprise that in California, "Babs" and "Jimmy" are getting it on too. He's relaxing in a hot tub at night when she joins him and gives him one of her trademark no-hands, full eye-contact blowjobs. After Tony licks Alexandra's butthole, the two confine their fucking to the rear, changing positions but they only do anal. Overall, it's a great, hot scene and shows why Alexandra Silk is one of the better performers when she's on. My only complaints are the strange editing (again) and the ending as Tony jerks off for the pop on himself. Even though there's some cum eating involved after the pop, I would have liked to see a more active ending.
Back in Vegas, Cara's wedding flops as she can't go through the marriage. She points to Vincent as the reason why she can't be married. So Vincent, Madelyn, and Little Mark have to flee to the safety of the house in Malibu. There, Jimmy Rubio is surprised by the untimely appearance of his boss when his boss' lady is upstairs naked. He goes to warn her, but she gives him a little suck while sitting on the toilet.
Things are such a mess that they can't get any worse, right? Of course they can! Little Mark and Madelyn have eyes for each other, and with the help of Babs, they have an interracial threesome, which pairs Lexus and Marcus to start, some lipstick lesbian action, and then really gets going when Alexandra opens up her ass to Marcus' huge black cock. It's especially nice eye candy to watch Alexandra bounce up and down on his schlong in reverse cowgirl anal. Fortunately, unlike in her scene with Tony Tedeschi, she takes charge and causes his orgasm.
The final scene involves the two cute maids of the house, Texas blondes and real life friends Katie Gold and Shay Sweet (as Feef and Steffi, respectively). Vince ends up fucking the help, concentrating on Katie for most of the positions, including a very nice missionary anal, but also doing Shay for a little while. The resulting cum shower over both of the girl's prone heads is a good note to end the movie's sex on.
Of course, it all comes out that everyone is sleeping with everyone else, and rather than end the movie in a gangland shootout, they all agree to disagree and pair off for the happily ever after: Babs with Jimmy, Madelyn with Little Mark, and Vincent with Steffi and Feef. Awwww....how cute! Whatever...
What I liked: Surprisingly good acting: Well, not really, but most of the stars do a decent job staying in character. Maybe that's because it's not much of a stretch having Vince play a wisecracking Italian, Alexandra an obnoxious Jersey girl, and Lexus a ditsy blonde. It works well for the comedy, but wouldn't work in a more serious story. If you're looking for tour de force performances or no story at all (just the sex), this one will probably get on your nerves.
Hot sex: The hot tub scene between Alexandra and Tony, the casino bathroom romp with Stephanie and Vince, and the final scene with the Texas blondes and Vince are all very solid scenes. In fact, the biggest gripe I have over these scenes is the weak editing that distracts from the sex and messes with the timing and intensity of the scenes. It should do the trick for couples but raincoaters will be irritated by the erratic editing.
What I didn't like: Cap'n, There Be Edits Here!: It's been a long time since I watched Mobster's Wife on VHS, but I'm pretty sure that in addition to an entire scene being removed from the DVD (a scene early in the movie where Tony Tedeschi and Shay Sweet, as well as Alexandra Silk and Katie Gold, and a solo Kelly Jean have sex outdoors near the beach), there are several cuts throughout the movie, sometimes glaringly obvious by abrupt changes in the audio and video. It's like someone took a pair of scissors, cut the section out and then spliced the tape. I expect DVDs to have more content (extended scenes, deleted scenes, or director's cut) not less. It's outrageous that Vivid thought it would be acceptable to make edits to the film for the sake of adding a useless "virtual reality" menu and a bunch of really crappy video clips as "extras."
Hard to watch: Maybe it was different four or five years ago, but the whole goodfellas fad just grates on my nerves now. What might, and I stress might, have been funny comes across as really lame and pathetic. The whole Tarantino-esque intro made me want to eject the disc and throw it in the trash. The sex is more interesting (thankfully), but due to the lousy mastering job and content cuts, it lacks the excitement of the original VHS release. I've always thought that, in addition to Alexandra Silk, Shay Sweet and Katie Gold made this movie, so getting rid of a whole scene with them in it was not a good idea.
DVD Extras: Other than Vivid's idea of what multiple angles are, the only real extras on side A of the disc are a couple of trailers and seven short video clips. Not only are the clips not identified but they aren't that outstanding -- no better than a $4.99 compilation tape. I find it particularly amusing that the "Award Winning Sex" clip starts out with a shot of a presentation at the AVN awards with the presenter saying, "And the winner is..." -- and the clip starts without any mention of the title of this supposedly award-winning clip. Duh!
The flip side has the real extras for Mobster's Wife in the form of two 30-minute behind-the-scenes videos. I can't help but compare them to other behind-the-scenes featurettes I've seen from other studios, and in that regard, Vivid's production staff looks like a two-bit operation. There are a few funny moments, but overall, it's nothing groundbreaking or must-see. My favorite part of the video is when Shay and Katie, then relatively new in the business, explain how they got started in porn, their sex toys at home, and other interesting tidbits that I'd never heard about these two cuties. As I mentioned, the videos are 30-minutes long each, and they seem to be edited in a way so that they are different cuts of mostly the same material. In other words, you could watch either video and get a complete sense of the production, and some of the footage is included in both videos. It doesn't make sense to me, since there seems to be enough material to do a single 45 minute featurette instead of two standalone videos.
A/V Quality: I've seen and heard a lot of crappy DVDs in my time, and this one is pretty bad -- not among the worst, but bad nonetheless. Noise and pixelation abound, especially during some of the indoor scenes where you can easily spot the blocky compression artifacts. Granted this is an early DVD, but if anyone produced a new release today looking like this, they'd be strung up (or called Caballero).
The Last Word: I'll give you two: EDITED DVD. This is absolutely unforgivable, especially since the only reasons why Vivid took out material from this and other movies are to save duplication costs (older Vivid movies were edited so they would fit on shorter and less expensive VHS tapes) and to make room for a bunch of crap filler on the DVDs. This is one of the reasons why so many veteran consumers got such a bad taste in their mouths (no, not from that!) when it comes to Vivid DVDs. Buy at your own risk.