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Directed by: Suze Randall
Initial Thoughts: Flashback time, back to the days of bush and big hair. For this disc, we take a trip back to the 80's, when Amber and Ginger Lynn were all the rage in porn, and features ruled the day. Suze Randall brings us a double feature, one movie from each of these two super babes catalogue. Miss Passion features Ginger Lynn, and is hosted by Suze Randall as "Suze Cooze" and is kind of this mix between a sexual exhibition and a porn gameshow, basically the precursor to Gonzo, with some style and costumes added. Love Bites features Amber Lynn, and is more of a traditional feature, with a focus on fantasy. Both features are cut down a bit, "Miss Passion is missing about 19 minutes and 2 scenes, Ginger and Traci and Steve Drake and Traci. "Love Bites" is missing nearly 25 minutes, and I couldn't find how many scenes since there was no good breakdown anywhere I looked. Again Traci is the reason. If your not aware of the whole Traci Lords fiasco, in short, all but one of her performances in adult films, were done before her 18th birthday, and she pulled the proverbial wool over the industry's eyes, and so movies like this are forced to be hacked up because of it, and now we shall never speak of it again. So this may be the only legal version of the movies, but Love bites, especially seems to be missing something. The stories are passable anyway, and the technicals are a bit of a mess, but these films are all about seeing Amber and Ginger in thier prime and they do not dissappoint, Amber taking on 3 guys in an elevator is not to be missed, and that is really the draw here, it's not a horrible transfer and thier two decent 80's features. They are both short with not even 2 hours runtime combined, and no real worthwhile extras, but as I said Amber and Ginger.
Technical Considerations: Oh boy, where do I start? Films like these do make you appreciate how far the industry has come in making a better quality adult movie. The lighting is downright terrible in Love Bites, and is passable in Miss Passion, the camera work is merely OK but really poorly located in both films on numerous occasions. Picture quality is alright for the time frame but is pretty hazy for todays standards. Sound is just alright. Menu's are simple and do what they need to. Nothing is so unforgivable, especially for the time, but these are pretty strong faults if you compare them to todays flicks.
Condom Usage: None
Disc Duration: 168 minutes
Feature: 168 minutes
Scene Breakdown for "Miss Passion"
Scene 1: Crystal Breeze and Peter North
Duration: 15:12 mins
Position Chronology: Topless posing, interview, kissing, she blows him, doggy vag, missionary vag, sideways vag, reverse cowgirl vag, he spurts on her thigh, she rubs the cum on her body.
Scene Thoughts: I'll give you the jist of the of the story right here, it's an intergalactic sex competition to find the universe's "Miss Passion" and contestants come out in costumes and have really corny but funny names, Jessie Jism is Crystal, and she comes out to fuck Peter, it's a pretty energetic scene, they fuck hard and fast and just kind of rip through positions, but there is some chemistry between them, North has some wood issues early in the scene, and his load is subdued and only hits her thigh as she rides him in RC, and they wait for the score after the end, 9.99. It's alright but not a super hot scene.
Scene 2: Rachel Ashley and Craig Roberts
Duration: 13:21 mins
Position Chronology: Topless in blue space outfit, posing, interview, she half strips, guy comes out, she blows him, cowgirl vag, they kiss, he sucks her tits as she rides him, missionary vag, sideways vag, he busts across her belly. she strokes him.
Scene Thoughts: Rachel has some nice hooters, and she is Ima Hotpants in this movie, real original. She is the second contestant, and really is a hot brunette, she dances and soon gets a pecker of her own to play with, and while she only gets a 9.25, I think she did as good a job as Crystal in the first scene, nice oral work, again poor camera work that blocks out our view of things too often, but nice energy from Rachel who bounces up and down wonderfully as she rides her man's stiff dick, a bit quick through the positions again, but chemistry is better and it flows nicely as a scene. The popshot is really a waste of time, and on we go.
Scene 3: Rikki Blake and Craig Roberts
Duration: 9:41 mins
Position Chronology: Near topless costume, interview, she poses in her outfit, guy enters, she strips, on her knees blowjob, kissing, missionary vag, doggy vag, spoon vag, he shoots his cum and a little splatters around her body. she strokes him.
Scene Thoughts: What is this, American Gladiators? man these costumes bite the big one. Anyway, our next contestand practiced by doing a 30 guy gangbang, but this dude is more powerful than all of them combined says Suze. Yeah fuckin right, this guy lasts not even 10 minutes. It's just not that great of a scene, Rikki is cute and does an admirable job, but most of the short BJ the guy is soft as can be, and the sex is just wam bam in a couple of fast positions, and not very chemistry filled, and he busts into the air wildly. a 7.75 is being generous from the judges.
Scene 4: Ginger Lynn and Paul Baressi, Steve Powers
Position Chronology: Ginger, out for an interview, topless and space outfit, guys come out, lick her muff and kiss her, BJ/doggy vag, switches partners, dual handjobs, missionary vag/BJ, cowgirl DP, popshot on her back, no second cumshot, celebrating the score.
Scene Thoughts: The highlight of the show comes up next, although not the Miss Passion winner, Ginger comes out in this topless spacy outfit with a big assed colar and some glitter on her face and arms. This scene is a hot scene with two guys, but it's a little bit too down to business, she isn't into the guys all that much, but fakes some interest well enough, they just kind of surround her and fuck, again things unravel to quickly and they go through several positions in a matter of just a few minutes, only one pop across her back is a decent wad of sperm, but not a very well shot or interesting pop. Ginger is all excited over her 9.50 and she earned it.
Scene 5: Susan Hart and Greg Rome
Duration: 6:44 mins
Position Chronology: Loose outfit, interview, posing, she kisses her man before blowing him, titfucking, doggy vag, he cums across her ass.
Scene Thoughts: A real bummer of a scene, things just spiral down from the start, the guy has wood problems that ruin what could have been some hot titfucking, the editing is horrible, it jumps around and back and forth, they get in a little doggy vag and he busts a non existent load across her ass, while the camera is 78 feet away and out of focus. Susan was cute, but even her hot body couldn't bail this scene out.
Scene Breakdown for "Love Bites"
Scene 1: Ali Moore and Andre Bole
Duration: 7:12 mins
Position Chronology: In a hut, she blows him, missionary vag, reverse cowgirl vag, doggy vag, he cums on her ass.
Scene Thoughts: A very cute Ali Moore is masturbating on a bed in some hut in Africa, her Doctor superior is doing research or something and doesn't notice her, he is an old man anyway, An african warrior Andre comes in and waves his big black dick at a turned on Ali, and he then throws a net over the old man and subdues him before going over to face fuck Ali in front of the old man, who is all bent out of shape by this, it's a quicky, but fun and pretty hot, nice energy and a bit of chemistry between them. He pumps her ass cheeks to a climax on her back and collapses on top of her.
Scene 2: Amber Lynn and Peter North, Rick Savage and Roger Blade
Duration: 17:11 mins
Position Chronology: In a business suit in an elevator, with North, they kiss, she strips with his help, she blows him, standing doggy vag, mid air missionary vag, they kiss, missionary on the floor, he cums inside her, pussy cream pie, with Rick and Roger, standing doggy vag/BJ, Rick cums in her mouth and on her face. no other pop shown. BJ cleanup.
Scene Thoughts: This was probably the best scene on this entire disc, Amber looks stunningly good, and she plays kind of a stuck up snob at first, but after being bitten by a mosquitoe, she livens up and decides to drain some cock right there in the elevator, Peter is there with her and gets first crack, and they have a hot little scene together with some good chemistry and a nice frantic elevator love pace, she gives some nice head and he pumps her hard in return, the creampie was not well shot, but was hot anyway. People are standing in the elevator doorway as it opens, she is ready for more so invites the other two in for a fast and furios fuck, each guy takes and end, and enjoys himself to climax, the BJ on Rick is the highlight and she gets one of a very few facials on this whole disc, solid scene.
Scene 3: Orgy Scene, Buffy Schinshay, Josephine Carrington, Heather Wayne, Tom Byron, Dan Mann, Kevin James, and some others.
Duration: 21:05 mins
Scene Thoughts: A group of people who are poorly credited and I could not find a complete cast list, are having a fancy dinner when the big breasted maid, who I believe is Buffy, gets a fat man horny, and the screwing starts, he fantasizes the whole room is having a roman orgy, and that is where our scene takes off, the editing is bad here and so is the camera work, as people are off fucking in all corners of the room and sometimes we cannot even see who is doing what to who. It's still a reasonably hot scene though and some pretty decent fast action sex with about 5 seperate couples one cutie takes on 2 dicks at a time, but no anal from anybody that I saw, and most of the pops are on bellies and asses with one tit shot. We go back to the fat boy finishing off on Buffy's ass while the whole prude room is agast in horror over what he is doing. Kind of hot though.
Scene 4: Amber Lynn, Nicole West and Alan Royce
Duration: 8:54 mins
Position Chronology: Amber sunbathing, and looking at porn mags, with Alan, he gives her a baby oil massage, kissing, Nicole Joins, she blows him while he eats Amber, doggy vag for Amber, she eats Nicole, missionary vag for moth girls, missionary with Amber, he cums on her stomach. She strokes his cock
Scene Thoughts: Amber returns for another go round, this time sunbathing and looking at nudy mags as her man gives her a oil massage, the massage is hot, and parts of the sex are OK, Nicole's BJ on Alan is the hottest part of the scene probably. Amber doesn't get all that much screen time in this sceen after the massage which is fairly hot, the mosquitoe bites again and the addition of Nicole is fantasy, chemistry is only decent between the three of them, and the editing again kind of cuts and slashes through the scene, the popshot in missionary on Amber is hot to finish, but another fairly forgettable scene.
Trailers: "Too Naughty to Say No", "Addicted to Sex", "Suze's Centerfolds 1&2", "Darkside", "Ladies in Lust", "Skyfoxes", "Sophisticated Sluts", "Undressed and Oversexed".
Other Extras: Website Links
Final Thoughts and Recommendations:
I don't know, a couple of these scenes are pretty hot, but both features are just completely butchered by not being able to be in thier entirety. Obviously the original versions of these films are illegal in the US, and several other countries, so if your looking at that aspect, this is the only way your likely to get these classics, and while it's better then having them disappear forever, the way they appear hear, I have to atleast wonder if that isn't for the best. I really can only suggest this disc if your a real diehard of Ginger or Amber, or one of the other girls, that thier scenes are left intact here, but otherwise, rental at best with this one. Some extras or some better patchwork would have really improved this disc, it's basically just a quick and dirty transfer and a few trailers, and a horribly hacked up version of the films to boot since anything with Traci had to be hacked out. Pass on this one. If you have questions or comments about this review, please contact me at Linustr@Yahoo.com. Thanks for reading.