As i walked through the door i walked towards the counter and the lone female assistant smiled and asked "Can i help you sir" i promptly smiled then turned around loosened my trousers let them fall to the floor and yanked my underwear down spread my ass cheeks and stuck a finger in my ass.She let out a piercing scream then blurted out "Sir,you cannot do that in here"..to which i replied "Well the sign outside says "Please come in and pick you ring in comfort"..i laughed then quickly pulled up my trousers and fled,i cant wait to see the artists sketch impression of my gape when the police get involved,and so to the sex shop i ran.
I pressed the door buzzer to get in and as i entered it was home sweet home,well actually it was homo sweet homo as two mincing queens wearing wife beaters stood with hands on hips at the gay section,one of them looked like George Michael the other Elton John..wait a minute maybe it is them well who can forget there duo together "Don't let your son go down on me" as i brushed past them one of them retorted in a feminine voice."Hello sailor" wtf lol.The title i ended up picking was Milena Velba-Milk,i have not being getting enough calcium in my life and holy shit these things were packed with litres of milk even the 2 jobbie jabbers looked over and shouted out "Nothing wrong with a bit of the white stuff slipping down your throat" then giggled.
This must be sexual harassment can you get sexually harassed in a sex shop,well you can if they keep a donkey or a horse in the back shop lol.As i purchased the title i looked over at the 2 bare bum boxers and blew them a kiss and shouted out "Enjoy your chocolate fest boys" then left the shop.It was time to go home and start going blind,should i get myself a couple of beers,maybe it's pain killers i really need and with that i boarded the bus to head home.When i got in the house i popped the dvd in the player and rested back in my wanking chariot,i looked down at my cock and said "You are old enough to stand up for yourself sunshine,i cant take you with the hand all the time"..he ignored me lol.
On to the action and Milena's tits filled the screen these things are massive i would love to bury my face between those funbags before they buried me,i honestly never thought you could get tits that big and with her wearing a blouse with about one button on it exposing the mother of all cleavages i rubbed my eyes in astonishment,she chats away but i do not know what she is saying maybe she is telling us that her left tit is semi-skimmed and the right tit full fat milk lol.To tell the truth i love milk ice cold so if we dated i would ask her to place her tits in the fridge before the lactating milkmaid delivered in the bedroom,can you imagine the neighbors knocking on the door and asking if they could "borrow" some milk.
You could hardly lie and say you have none they would then politely ask if it's possible you could get Milena to indulge in some wet nursing with a glass from the kitchen wtf.As Milena sits back on a chair the sheer size of these things has me terrified,imagine if she had kids the social services would say she is a danger to her kid with tits that size and the child runs the risk of overdosing on calcium,i am stunned and her tits have not even been released from her Guantanamo Bay blouse.Holy fuck she just whipped them out (did you not hear the bang) and she squeezed her nips till some milk came out,as she grabs those juggernauts the milk comes squirting out all over the place,
What is the RDA for calcium as she just popped more out her nipples than i have drank in a week,one thing is for sure she loves playing with her tits and squirting her milk all over the place.All we need now is a pussy pump and we are laughing,I don't know whether to have a wank or a quick prayer i don't want to cry over spilt milk.Milena's trousers are soaked in milk and still she continues to squish those tits together and it's calciumgeddon.All i know is i would love to get a tit fuck from her,what can i say about her nipples i do not know,they are massive and milk stigmata is taking place.
Now the action swings to outside and yes we are in the fields and some dairy cows are happily grazing then Milena comes into view carrying an urn and wearing the old traditional dairy maid outfit,did Monty Python write this sketch for crying out loud lol.As she poses with the cows a wtf moment fills the air,im sure if the cows could speak they would say "Hey Moolena,you have enough milk in those tits to give us a break can we knock of to the pub" lol.We see Milena running down a hill till those huge juggs break free and swing about like two chimpanzees on acid,a shot of a lone cow sums it up the poor thing had a vacant look on it's face the kind of "Did i just see Kojak and his twin brother there look" then when she reaches her destination which is the barn,the milking duties continue
I guess you have to be a true lover of the white stuff to enjoy this as she begins to fill up the urn with her milk,the only thing you get here is Milena bent over filling up the urn the amount of milk is unbelievable,no suspenders no pussy shots nothing,i feel like crying or blaming Max Hardcore.I will get a wank out of this title yet,Milena's nipples must be red raw with the squeezing she is doing to them,2 packets of frozen peas applied to them before bed darling that should do the trick.Some music kicks in (Trombone style,the works etc) while Milena jiggled her tits over the urn and squeezed out milk in tune with the music..beat that Jonni Darkko lol.
She goes on to lie back in the hay as more squashing of the tits continued and she really manipulates those tits into a variety of positions,the scene ends with her happily skipping down the hill as those tits flapped about like a non swimmer getting thrown in at the deep end of the pool,she passes that big cow again.my guess is he is probably on his way to mc donalds after this as he volunterally pleads to be turned into a burger,then another wtf moment as Milena runs past a herd of cows that are lined up at a fence i am sure to god i seen them slow hand clapping her as they all let out a big "moo" lol...
The next scene has Milena running to board a tram she is wearing office attire and as she runs those tits flop about like the paunch on a 50 year old man as he attempts his first marathon,there are a few people on the tram just looking bored waiting on reaching there destination.A pretty girl sits opposite Milena and keeps looking over at her enormous bust,at least she does not have to do what us guys have to do,the old paper on the lap trick to disguise a hard on.They strike up a conversation and i think the main topic being discussed is Milena's breasts,whatever was said Milena flops her tits out and the guys on the tram never flinched lol.
The girl reaches over and cups those heavy boobs and rolls them in her hands,holy shit the snake has woke up..and he is hungry lol.All that is happening is the girls chatting and since i do not know the lingo im fucked,the guys on the tram should at least be doing more to get a peek at Milena,i would not let an opportunity like that go to waste i would tear 2 small holes in my newspaper and hold it over my eyes,ok maybe 3 small holes if the snake wants a look to lol.My cock has fallen asleep all we are getting here is chatting i am going to put him back in his pants..but wait out of Milena's bag comes a suction device of some sort,oh shit i thought i left that all behind in the last review.
And you have guessed it she uses this thing to siphon milk from those tits,it's a bus i get to work everyday and it's definitely all the rage in Britain if you have not got your milk extractor with you on the bus then your are so 1980's,forget texting on the bus this should be mandatory except for the front 2 seats on the bus that are reserved for elderly people.With Milena still extracting the milk from her tits a guy gets on the tram and casually walks past as if nothing is wrong,these are the kind of guys that could witness a beheading on a bus and say "I never seen or heard anything" lol.I knew i should have just went to the gym that day but my inner perverse streak took hold of me and now i am out of pocket and my cock is not a happy chappie and i think i am of milk as well.
The only thing missing here is a bit of grass on the tram floor,and with that Milena puts the container of milk in her bag and as she has missed her stop she runs to the back of the tram and the passengers do not flinch,what country did they film this in.She puts her tits back in her bra and hops of the tram at the next stop,this is ground breaking lol...breaking my fucking heart.The next scene has Milena indoors and flopping out those fun bags and smiling to the camera as she begins to squeeze those gazongas,these things make melpster look flat chested.It's dark in the room and no talking is going on just a close up of those tits getting cajoled all over the place.
Then it's time for the milking to commence and with the dark background you can see the milk squirting all over the place,the only good thing about this scene is watching Milena grope and play with those huge melons,i do not think we are going to get to see her pussy has she got a pussy maybe she has a big udder down there,Her breasts and hands are covered in milk as she continues to squeeze even more milk out and them she laughs away as she watches the squirting.She moves her mouth towards her breast which is easy for her with the size of those things and squirts her milk into her mouth then really sucks away on her erect nipple and gushes the milk out of her mouth..
Did i feel a twitch down below.Ok it was not a twitch more a case of a wake up call,Milena laughs away as the milking and tit sucking continues and she seems to be having a lot of fun as her giggles continue.The prolonged nipple sucking looks hot as hell,she then goes on to cup those huge breasts in her hands and licks the milk from her tits,this girl would be a blast at a dinner party lol.More nipple sucking and the camera zooms in for a close up of the action and with her tits squeezed together they look like 2 bald gentlemen and with that the screen fades to black.
The next scene takes place outdoors and the camera zooms over to the busy motorway then pans over to a parking lot and a girl is standing next to a jeep with the door open,she has long dyed red hair and is wearing a dress complete with cat boots on to complete her look,she looks like a rock chick.She has a hefty cleavage on her and a pretty face so bring on the action that's what i say and with that Milena pulls over in her car and with the car window down the camera zooms in for a look and Milena's top is stained with her milk,yip those tits are leaking she gets out the car and walks over to the rock chick and a conversation takes place and with her squeezing her tits till her top becomes further stained i guess she is not asking for directions the red head looks on in amazement as Milena continues squeezing away.
I have a feeling this scene is going to be the highlight of the dvd so far and with that the red head pushes Milena against her car and lifts up her top and begins sucking away on one of her nipples and i mean really sucking away on it this looks good to watch.The other nipple gets attention as the red head lifts up Milena's huge tits and has her perverted way with them and it's all tit play and nipple action till Milena begins to milk herself and the girl draws milk from the other nipple and lets it run from her mouth.The red head is totally getting into this and is feasting on Milena's nipples like it is going out of fashion.
The camera changes angle and to see this hot girl wedged between Milena's tits was fantastic,Milena goes on to squeeze her nipples and the red head opens her mouth to take a doze of calcium in her mouth,milk ends up all over her face and running down her chin and there is a lot of milk coming out and it runs down onto this girls breasts as well,she still has her dress on and as she occasionally looks at the camera i sit here with my first boner courtesy of this scene..it was a long time coming..damn that was the words an ex-girlfriend used to say with disturbing honesty lol.
The girl is squatting while she sucks/chews on Milena's nipples,hey those tits are so big she could have sat in her own car and still reached those dangling diddies and soon Milena is the one squeezing her nipples again to unleash all her milk over the red heads mouth/face/breasts and then the girl slips her own tits out of her dress and what a great pair she has,she rubs Milena's milk into her breasts and tugs on her own nipples until Milena makes sure her tits get coated in her milk,i am warming to this scene and with that Milena pulls up her top and says her goodbyes to the red head who is still squatting down with her tits out.
The last scene and the action is back indoors and this time Milena is hard at work in the barn,she is wearing jeans and a wifebeater top and her tits are already nearly down to her kneecaps i would take voluntary work at this barn lol,with her tits now free all it took was some slight movement and these things were out quicker than George Michael's cock in a public lavatory.Surely this breaches health and safety,her tits not George's cock lol.She tries to put her tits back in her top but i have a feeling what will happen next,well actually i was wrong as some cheesy disco music kicked in and Milena started dancing i think i need sedated i actually cringed with embarrasssment when that happened.
With her still dancing away and minus her work gloves i felt like looking away and pretending that this never happened,oh god i am blushing.Milena makes her way towards the camera and starts squeezing her nipples till she gets her milk all over a window.The cheesy rock like intro continues playing i half expected David Hasselhoff to make an entrance and start singing but hey we have enough big tits filling the screen already,Milena is totally covering this window with her milk it is smeared all over it and running down it etc and the camera catches this head on while she squashes her tits against the window,i like it.
When the camera pans back the window was actually a car window and the camera cuts to Milena side on as she soaks the window with her milk.Imagine after the shoot driving to the car wash to get the thing cleaned up and other motorists looking at the window and thinking bloody hell the sea gulls must have the shits today.I honestly cannot believe the amount of milk that Milena is producing,i think i have seen maybe two other lactating scenes and it was a trickle of milk the girls were producing compared to this.Milena presses those tits against the car window and with the camera inside the car looking at her it looks great to see them squashed against the glass.
If you dated Milena you would never need to buy a pint of milk ever again,no more making tea/coffee and going to the fridge only to curse when there is none left,simply shout of "Milena darling,bitty please" and happiness would be restored once again.I forgot to say the music is still playing but with her pressing and rubbing against the car window i was in a daze there.And with that she opens the car door and smiles and says goodbye.
It's all over lol,not sure whether this will be the final nail in my coffin,i wanted milk i got milk,fucking litres of the stuff.Damn those tits are lethal,Milena showed us her weapons of milk destruction and i am still trying to recover from the shock.I think you would have to be a real fan of lactating movies to make this a must have dvd for your collection,im away to make a cuppa "Milena.....Milena darling"