The beautiful women of Earth are being snatched by jessica drake’s evil Vaginians, and the only men strong enough to save them are the indomitable agents in “Men in Black: A Hardcore Parody”. An exceptional parody of the mainstream flick of a similar title, this sci-fi feature from Wicked and director Brad Armstrong manages to deliver both the silly and the sexy, all wrapped up in high-end production values and featuring an exceptional cast. Indeed, the acting, the sets, the props, the makeup, and…of course…the fucky-fucky all work to excellent effect here, with the viewer being the obvious beneficiary. For fans of parodies, the originals films, gorgeous gals, and / or sci-fi, this one is not to be missed.
In terms of the sex, Scene One features MIB agent Ethan Hunt and coroner India Summer in some interracial morgue action. Ethan’s there investigating the case of the missing women, and India’s a fuck-buddy of his who actually knows his secret (Ethan never did the “flashy-thing” on her). After some quick banter about the case, the pair goes at it right there. A steamy oral and vaginal romp ensues, with Ethan and India making good use of their surroundings. While it’s difficult to imagine that sex in a morgue could be hot, these two manage to pull it off. To close out the festivities, India jerks Ethan to a cum-shot all over her hand and himself. She touches him off with a bit of oral cock clean-off. Wow!
In Scene Two, Mia Lelani and Nicole Aniston—as pink and purple bug-like aliens—are getting it on in front Brad Armstrong…a skevy alien director who’s filming them doing the dirty. While I’m not the biggest fan of sex where the ladies’ faces are obscured by costuming, makeup, masks, etc., the two women do put forth a sexy lez-affair involving fingers, tongues, and dildos.
Scene Three is really more of a continuation of the second, with Brad Armstrong getting in on the action with his “ladybugs” after being interrupted by MIB agents, Randy Spears and Ethan Hunt. Fortunately for the women, Armstrong’s cock isn’t nearly as nasty as his arms and face, and it isn’t much of a problem for them at all to gobble it up in a succulent blowjob sequence. Featuring dick-sucking-o-plenty, this one closes out with the women licking and jerking Brad to a pop-shot on their breasts and one of their mouths. Of course, being dutiful alien hussies, they help orally clean one another’s breasts, as well. Hot stuff!
In Scene Four, Randy and Ethan pop by Alektra Blue’s place. Xander Corvus is there, restrained in a stockade, and Alektra’s playing the part of his ultra-sexy dominatrix. After the two MIB agents are sent packing, it’s Xander’s turn for a little whippin’ and lovin’. Released from the restraints, Alektra makes him lick her boots…all prior to tapping her booty. A spicy oral, vaginal, and anal romp ensues which includes some nice (though brief) titty-fucking and a solid corn-holing. Alektra’s in top form here, and—as a result—this ends up being super-sexy material. All good things must come to an end, and they do here, as well, with Xander hosing down Ms. Blue’s pussy and pelvis. Nice!
Scene Five is a dream sequence in which Randy Spears gets it on with a caped-and-hooded, three-titted Kaylani Lei in a cornfield. Of course, one has to get over the fake boobs here, but that’s easy to do with Kaylani’s ability to bob on (and ride) a boner. The oral and vaginal fucking that follows is steamy, especially with Kaylani impaling herself feverishly on Randy’s spear. A load on the faux-trio of boobies caps off this fine affair.
In Scene Six, Misty Stone—who Ethan Hunt’s character’s been turned into—has been left alone by Randy in the weapons room to choose an armament. Of course, she happens upon one that resembles a dildo, and she can’t help but test out her new female parts with it. She stuffs it up herself and proceeds to get off in a sexy solo-girl sequence. Misty—always enthusiastic—is looking great here, and she does some equally great acting prior to the segment, as well.
Scene Seven pairs up aliens Isis Taylor (who’s also Randy Spear’s character’s daughter) and Tommy Pistol in Tommy’s grungy pawn shop. A contrast of opposites, Isis is decked out in a sleek, skin-tight space-suit, while Tommy’s sporting a mullet-fro and dressed like a bum. They say that opposites attract…and he and Isis ultimately do get it on…but it’s only with Tommy holding the fact that she doesn’t have her ticket for her space-bracelet over her head as leverage. Sometimes to get ahead, you have to give a little head…and that’s just what Isis does (and more) here. A sexy oral and vaginal encounter follows, with the duo transitioning through a handful of steamy positions before everything comes to a close with Tommy unloading on Isis’ face and mouth…which she follows up with some oral cock clean-off.
In the grand finale (Scene Eight), the MIB agents raid the Vaginians’ ship to rescue the captured lasses. Of course, one can catch more flies with honey than vinegar, so they yield to jessica drake’s (the alien leader’s) demands for an orgy (who wouldn’t?). The cocks and pussies pop out, and a full-on fuckfest ensues, with jessica, India Summer, Misty Stone, Alektra Blue, and Kaylani Lei pressing the flesh with Tommy Gunn, Eric Masterson, Randy Spears, Marco Rivera, and Jack Vegas. Plenty of oral and vaginal action characterizes this space-age party, and the festivities finish off with facials for jessica, Alektra, and Kaylani…and loads to India’s bum and Misty’s pussy and pelvis. This is some hot, hot stuff!
Bonus-wise, two trailers play upon inserting the disc—as does the anti-piracy PSA—and one finds the preview for this title itself in the main menu of the first disc. It’s on the second disc, however, that one really finds the mother-load. There’s a segment titled “The Making of Men in Black: A Hardcore Parody” (~15 minutes), a “Special Effects” featurette (including a “Makeup FX Reel” and a “Visual FX Reel”), and a “Girls of the Galaxy” selection (mostly clips from “pretty-girl” photo shoots with the ladies). One also finds a “Behind the Scenes of Sex” option (~15 minutes), a segment called “The Table Read” (clips of line-reading by the cast, mostly around a table), and three bonus scenes (a Kortney Kane, jessica drake, Alektra Blue, boy/boy/boy/girl/girl/girl sequence from the production “Craving II” ; a Kaylani Lei boy/girl anal segment from the production “Asian Anal Assassins” ; and a Misty Stone boy/girl scene from the production “Countdown”). Further, there's a "Photo Gallery" (slideshow of stills), a choice of six "Trailers", a "Promo Reel" (featuring the company's contract stars), some "Bloopers", a "Digital Copy" (for portable devices), and "More Adult Fun" (phone sex ads and the like). These are some sweet bonuses.
In all, this is an excellent production that’s definitely worth picking up. The cast, acting, production values, makeup, sets, and so on are all awesome…and the release remains quite faithful to the original material…even up to and including the talking pug. For fans of parodies, features, sci-fi, and / or beautiful women doing dirty, out-of-this-world things, this one’s a no-brainer. It’s worthy...and then some.
The opinions expressed in this review of MIB: Men In Black: A Hardcore Parody from Wicked are not necessarily the opinions of Adult DVD Talk. Adult DVD Talk provides a public forum for consumers to post their DVD reviews. Adult DVD Talk does not edit these reviews.