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Men In Blue

Men In Blue

Studio: Gino Pictures
Category:  Gay
Directed by:
Starring: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Released on: 
Where to buy:DVD NewStreaming/Download
Joe Shaver's ratings for Men In Blue:
Overall Rating 0 stars
Men In Blue overall rating 0 stars
Female Looks Men In Blue Female looks rating 2 stars
Male Looks Men In Blue Male looks rating 2.5 stars
Sex Men In Blue Sex rating 1 star
Plot/Acting Men In Blue Plot/Acting rating 1.5 stars
Extras Men In Blue DVD Extras rating 2.5 stars
Audio/Video Quality Men In Blue A/V Quality rating 2.5 stars
Rating Scale
Reviewed by Joe Shaver  on  6/12/2005
MEN IN BLUE is a 1998 film that has now been transferred to DVD. It stars and was written by Blue Blake. It was directed by Gino Colbert. Despite the rave reviews filling the cover, this is one of those videos that should have been left to die in oblivion.

Officer Blue Blake—a Los Angeles policeman despite his cockney accent—sits in his patrol car guzzling whisky. Spying Paul Morgan and Gino Colbert in a parked car, Blue goes over and calls them faggots. He plants incriminating evidence in the car and—at gunpoint—forces Gino to suck Paul’s cock and let Paul cum in his mouth. This was just the “teaser”. We now watch the credits.

After the credits we find Blue sitting in an interrogation room being interrogated by internal affairs officer Ron Jeremy. Fat and homely, Ron is a “legend” in straight porn—which only goes to show we homos have it better than the heteros. Ron—a good actor, I must admit—questions Blue about the suicide of his young partner, Brent Cross.

In a flashback we get the story Blue doesn’t tell. Brent arrives at Blue’s apartment to pick him up for duty. Blue gives Brent some drugged coffee. He then proceeds to suck the young patrolman’s cock—which never gets the least bit hard. He fucks him. With Brent unconscious it’s not far removed from necrophilia. It’s also as sexually stimulating as viewing a corpse. Fuck finished, Blue puts some female pants on Brent and takes pictures of him thus attired—all the while spewing out a vicious homophobic diatribe excoriating the innocent Brent. Brent shoots himself after masturbating and shooting his load. (How’s that for logic? I'm gonna kill myself, but first I think I'll jackoff.)

Blue is next cross-examined about his run-in with two gay cops: Michael Crawford and Zachery Scott. These are the best-looking guys in the film. I’ve always found Zachery with his nice build and big dick a huge turn-on. However their scene, a very brief and uninspiring suck-n-fuck, is rather bland. After they have cum, Blue enters. His report caused them to lose their jobs and their pensions. (Can’t have fags in the department says the hypocritical Blue.)

Jeremy moves on to the “crack incident” where Blue has killed four guys whom he claimed raped him. Again in a flashback we see what really occurred. Blue wanted some crack. The price was giving the Latinos blowjobs. A mini-orgy develops wherein Blue is also fucked. We want some “pig pussy” they exclaim—and indeed, Blue is as happy as a pig in shit. To make certain they don’t report this to anyone, he kills them.

We move next to Blue’s accusation that officer Rich Raines raped a kid in one of the cells. The “kid” is Scott Lyons. Of course when we witness the encounter it’s anything but rape. It’s the seduction of a more than willing subject. It begins with each sucking the other. Scott has the bigger dick—quite big, actually—so it’s a pity he’s such a committed bottom in his films. I could only chuckle when Rich kept saying what a tight ass Scott had. Scott’s ass could be used to hide stolen SUVs. But before they fuck, Scott gets a nice rimming that he thoroughly enjoys. He enjoys the fuck even more. It’s the film’s best sex scene in spite of the usual clichéd dialogue: “Give me that big dick, etc.” It was a tender coupling with mutual enjoyment so why does Rich say at the end “If you tell anyone about this you will never leave here alive”???? (Crazy!)

Ron now sets Blue up by leaving him in the interrogation room with hunky Cutter West. Cutter is built like the proverbial brick shithouse, and when he strips revealing that bod and pulls out his cock, Blue can’t resist. (Surprisingly, Blue is not a good cocksucker.) Cutter fucks him.

Why now do we have to have a straight sex scene with Ron Jeremy and Sharon Kane? Now, don’t get me wrong. I often enjoy watching straight porn. But how anyone—gay or straight—could get off watching these two performers is mind-boggling. It’s like watching an old boar eat out a sow’s cunt. Yuck! Argh! Judas H. Priest! The stomach turns!

In a brief coda, the truth has been found out and Blue is known for what he is. His last line is: Don’t think this is nearly over.” Thankfully, it is.

After reading all the rave reviews pasted over the cover, I settled down last night prepared to really enjoy this film. I knew that anything of Gino Colbert’s that has been good has always been done in collaboration with Gino as a “co-director”. Left on his own, the results are generally less than ordinary. But since Blue Blake was starring and had written the film, I assumed his influence would bring about a good one. The acting was fair even though Blue often crosses the line between good acting and over-acting. But that’s all I can say that’s positive. I found this film to be extremely distasteful, when it wasn’t being downright offensive. The sex was mediocre. I thought the whole endeavor bad and disgusting. I don’t know when I’ve ever been uncomfortable watching porn before. This was perhaps the intention. If so, it was a misguided one. A lot of people (some of whom I recognized as being in the industry and are friends of the participants) seem to have liked it. I’m comforted by the fact that Thoreau says “the majority is always wrong”. The proof that this is true can be seen by the politicians whom the majority has chosen to govern us.

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The opinions expressed in this review of Men In Blue from Gino Pictures are not necessarily the opinions of Adult DVD Talk. Adult DVD Talk provides a public forum for consumers to post their DVD reviews. Adult DVD Talk does not edit these reviews.