Running Time: 91 min.
Production Date: Dec. 16 -17, 1998 and Jul. 19, 1999
Director: Mike ďQuasarmanĒ Quasar is listed on the cover. In the credits, Mick ďFuzzyĒ Hatteras is listed as director and Quasarman is listed as director of photography.
Cast: Claudia Chase, Inari Vachs, Tina Thomas, Mikki Taylor, Natasha, Nakita Ka$h, India, Caroline Pierce, Bobbie Bliss, Lola, Marion, Vince Voyeur, Kyle Stone, Tyce Bune, Eric Price, Jake Steed, Bart Myne (who isnít listed on the cover but Jasper is. I assume theyíre the same person but I donít know for sure), and Marion
Initial Expectations: I havenít watched one of Quasarmanís movies yet that I know of, but Iíve become addicted to his website. Due to his website, I have some hopes for this movie. The range of production dates and the discrepancies over director are normally not a good sign, though.
Initial Reaction: I think Iíve seen this before. Different people, but the same movie.
Audio /Video Quality: The video is very clear throughout the movie. The audio is clear for most of the movie and is also fairly well balanced. Thereís a few spots where the dialogue is hard to hear.
Music: The music is fun and slightly cheesy. A little bit is slightly jazzy. Itís a little loud, overall, but in many places itís really overpowering.
False Advertising The ĎTrue perspective multiple anglesí arenít even close to real multiple angles. In the group scenes the second angle normally doesnít even have the same girl with the guy. Itís pretty sad.
Review: I wish I was the person who wrote the Make A Porno in 5 Easy Steps book. Heck. If I got a nickel for every porno that was made with this formula Iíd have enough to pay the legal fees that Bill Clinton should have had to pay. Thatís right. Itís the Ďtelling a storyí plot. In this case, a reporter (Inari) is interviewing Madam Alishia (Marion) about her history as a madam. More specifically, how she got started.
I have to give some credit to Metro here. Rather than have one of todayís older but still highly attractive stars, like say Tina Tyler, they went with Marion, who will probably never see fifty again and isnít all that attractive. It adds a little character to Madam Alishia by having her looking back on her life. Thankfully we never get to see Madam Alishia having sex at her full age. Instead thereís flashbacks to her younger self, Claudia Chase. Claudia is extremely cute and I think sheís got some pretty good potential. She has a kind of innocent, ditsy look about her similar to Stacy Valentine when she started out.
Things start out flashing back to Alishia first getting into the business. She watches as Congressman Vince takes on three girls (Lola, Natasha Blake, and Tina Thomas). Itís a pretty hot scene and I hope to see more of all three of these girls. Natasha is one of the rare redheads in the adult film world. Sheís pretty, but she has so many piercings that I think it must take her at least eight hours to get through an airport if sheís going to fly anywhere. She has a slightly animalistic drive to her performance that really made it worth watching. Tina Thomas also stood out to me as she reminded me of another actress and itís still bugging me who. Luckily she gave a good performance, so sheís sticking in my head a little. Hopefully I can figure out who she reminds me of! The girls finish the scene off in style by Vince popping in one girls mouth and they pass it girl to girl. A very hot ending to a better than average group scene.
Government officials arenít looked on too highly in Memoirs of a Madam . If the Congressman wasnít enough, thereís Mayor Kyle Stone. The Mayor gets drunk and thinks heís a great piano player and singer. The only good thing about it is Caroline is under the piano working him over. Caroline is average looking and gives a good performance. She also believes in diversity and has taken a backup job as a human pawn shop. I think she had every piercings possible. I was surprised there wasnít a ring clear through her head.
Of course, the cops (such as Eric Price) kept a fair eye on the establishment, so Alishia got into the business by taking care of Eric when he found the Mayor with his pants around his ankles. After giving him a little punishment (since heís obviously a bad cop), she shows him why he should only remember them if he needs certain things.
Thereís also a couple interracial scenes. The first has Bobbi Bliss giving Bart / Jasper one of her amazing blowjobs. Iím not a big fan of interracial sex except for a few stars. Bobbi just joined that list of stars. Thereís also a scene between Jake Steed and India. Itís a fairly normally bathroom scene, but it seemed very forgettable to me.
Next, Madame Alishia shares her first experience with a woman. It was with a couple (Tyce and Mikki) who liked to share. This was a pretty good threesome but was lacking slightly. The girls seemed to get along pretty well but not great. I think the camera angles were off just a little also which kept a lot of things obstructed. Itís a nice scene but nothing thatís going to stick in my memory past tomorrow.
Finally, Inari decides to see how the other half lives and tries out Nakita, Alishiaís maid. Inari seems to almost always be worth watching and this scene isnít any different. She and Nakita have pretty good chemistry together and they use a few toys also, which I like. Itís an okay way to end the movie, and more to the point, the standard way to end this formula of movie.
Perhaps my biggest complaint about Memoirs of a Madam is some of the style of the editing. Anytime the camera has to splice together a scene or somebody changes position or the screen has a white flash. Itís not something I normally like anyway, but it seems like it happens at least once a minute in some scenes. It makes the movie look very low budget, the cast incompetent, and like the makers donít really know what theyíre doing.
I hate ending on negatives in reviews unless itís completely necessary. Thankfully, this isnít a movie where itís necessary. Instead I can end with a thank you to Metro. Thank you for having real credits at the end of the movie. I wasnít familiar with several of the people in the cast. Thanks to you having real credits I can look up some of their other movies now. Some of these are probably Metro releases and because I know who the people are, youíll probably sell a few more titles. I know this seems simple, but I felt I had to include it as most companies havenít figured it out yet. Thank you Metro for caring about your movies and the people in them enough to let the viewers know who they are.
Extras: Metro has a nice offering of extras on this DVD. There is a slide show, bios, behind the scenes, and trailers. The ďTrue Perspective Multiple AnglesĒ Iíve covered already, so I donít want to beat a dead horse.
The slide show is what has come to be the standard slide show of todayís DVDs. Itís automated lasting two minutes with about five seconds per still. The overall picture quality varies slightly but itís still pretty average overall.
Bios are included for Claudia, Mikki, Inari, Lola, Caroline, and Nakita. Thereís a few statistics on the star as well as a little personal information. Thereís also a link to the personís scene. Itís a fairly basic bio, but well done.
The behind the scenes featurette lasts about thirteen and a half minutes. It goes behind the sets a little showing the stars kicking back a little and includes interviews with many of the stars. Thereís some great advise from Vince Voyeur and a little bit from Inari on why she hates behind the scenes features. Perhaps the scariest thing is Caroline talking about piercing and her love of pain.
Metro is very good about giving trailers to view and this is no exception. Unlike many of their past releases, Metro didnít devote the second side of the DVD to trailers. This didnít stop them from giving a lot of trailers. There are trailers for Things Change 3 and 4, Taboo 19, Revenge, Pink, Euro Babes 4, Babes Illustrated 8, Hand Job Hunnies, The Ultimate Squirting Machine 2, and Houston 500 on the DVD. The only problem I can find with the trailers is that there is no menu to tell you what trailers are on the DVD. You have to scroll through a nicely arranged screen for each title to see what trailers are there.
Themes: Straight, group, anal, lesbian, toys, cum swapping, inter-racial, and spanking
Raincoat Factor: Fairly high
Overall: Currently, Memoirs of a Madam can be found online for between $16 and $25 with many stores offering it for under $20. This seems fairly high but its definitely worth renting. Fans of Quasarman probably wonít be disappointed.
Note to Metro: Nice job on the extras, but if youíre going to offer multiple angles, especially ďTrue Perspective Multiple AnglesĒ use real multiple angles. Also, you give a great selection of your trailers. Please include a menu for them in future releases so that the watcher doesnít have to scroll through them to see if thereís anything they are interested in.
If you have any questions or comments, please e- mail me .