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Memoirs of a Madam

Memoirs of a Madam

Studio: Metro
Category:  Straight
Directed by:
Starring: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Released on: 
Where to buy:DVD RentStreaming/Download
astroknight's ratings for Memoirs of a Madam:
Overall Rating 2.5 stars
Memoirs of a Madam overall rating 2.5 stars
Female Looks Memoirs of a Madam Female looks rating 2.5 stars
Male Looks Memoirs of a Madam Male looks rating 2.5 stars
Sex Memoirs of a Madam Sex rating 3 stars
Plot/Acting Memoirs of a Madam Plot/Acting rating 2 stars
Extras Memoirs of a Madam DVD Extras rating 3.5 stars
Audio/Video Quality Memoirs of a Madam A/V Quality rating 3.5 stars
Rating Scale
Reviewed by astroknight  on  1/26/2001

Running Time: 91 min.

Production Date: Dec. 16 -17, 1998 and Jul. 19, 1999

Director: Mike “Quasarman” Quasar is listed on the cover. In the credits, Mick “Fuzzy” Hatteras is listed as director and Quasarman is listed as director of photography.

Cast: Claudia Chase, Inari Vachs, Tina Thomas, Mikki Taylor, Natasha, Nakita Ka$h, India, Caroline Pierce, Bobbie Bliss, Lola, Marion, Vince Voyeur, Kyle Stone, Tyce Bune, Eric Price, Jake Steed, Bart Myne (who isn’t listed on the cover but Jasper is. I assume they’re the same person but I don’t know for sure), and Marion

Initial Expectations: I haven’t watched one of Quasarman’s movies yet that I know of, but I’ve become addicted to his website. Due to his website, I have some hopes for this movie. The range of production dates and the discrepancies over director are normally not a good sign, though.

Initial Reaction: I think I’ve seen this before. Different people, but the same movie.

Audio /Video Quality: The video is very clear throughout the movie. The audio is clear for most of the movie and is also fairly well balanced. There’s a few spots where the dialogue is hard to hear.

Music: The music is fun and slightly cheesy. A little bit is slightly jazzy. It’s a little loud, overall, but in many places it’s really overpowering.

False Advertising The ‘True perspective multiple angles’ aren’t even close to real multiple angles. In the group scenes the second angle normally doesn’t even have the same girl with the guy. It’s pretty sad.

Review: I wish I was the person who wrote the Make A Porno in 5 Easy Steps book. Heck. If I got a nickel for every porno that was made with this formula I’d have enough to pay the legal fees that Bill Clinton should have had to pay. That’s right. It’s the ‘telling a story’ plot. In this case, a reporter (Inari) is interviewing Madam Alishia (Marion) about her history as a madam. More specifically, how she got started.

I have to give some credit to Metro here. Rather than have one of today’s older but still highly attractive stars, like say Tina Tyler, they went with Marion, who will probably never see fifty again and isn’t all that attractive. It adds a little character to Madam Alishia by having her looking back on her life. Thankfully we never get to see Madam Alishia having sex at her full age. Instead there’s flashbacks to her younger self, Claudia Chase. Claudia is extremely cute and I think she’s got some pretty good potential. She has a kind of innocent, ditsy look about her similar to Stacy Valentine when she started out.

Things start out flashing back to Alishia first getting into the business. She watches as Congressman Vince takes on three girls (Lola, Natasha Blake, and Tina Thomas). It’s a pretty hot scene and I hope to see more of all three of these girls. Natasha is one of the rare redheads in the adult film world. She’s pretty, but she has so many piercings that I think it must take her at least eight hours to get through an airport if she’s going to fly anywhere. She has a slightly animalistic drive to her performance that really made it worth watching. Tina Thomas also stood out to me as she reminded me of another actress and it’s still bugging me who. Luckily she gave a good performance, so she’s sticking in my head a little. Hopefully I can figure out who she reminds me of! The girls finish the scene off in style by Vince popping in one girls mouth and they pass it girl to girl. A very hot ending to a better than average group scene.

Government officials aren’t looked on too highly in Memoirs of a Madam . If the Congressman wasn’t enough, there’s Mayor Kyle Stone. The Mayor gets drunk and thinks he’s a great piano player and singer. The only good thing about it is Caroline is under the piano working him over. Caroline is average looking and gives a good performance. She also believes in diversity and has taken a backup job as a human pawn shop. I think she had every piercings possible. I was surprised there wasn’t a ring clear through her head.

Of course, the cops (such as Eric Price) kept a fair eye on the establishment, so Alishia got into the business by taking care of Eric when he found the Mayor with his pants around his ankles. After giving him a little punishment (since he’s obviously a bad cop), she shows him why he should only remember them if he needs certain things.

There’s also a couple interracial scenes. The first has Bobbi Bliss giving Bart / Jasper one of her amazing blowjobs. I’m not a big fan of interracial sex except for a few stars. Bobbi just joined that list of stars. There’s also a scene between Jake Steed and India. It’s a fairly normally bathroom scene, but it seemed very forgettable to me.

Next, Madame Alishia shares her first experience with a woman. It was with a couple (Tyce and Mikki) who liked to share. This was a pretty good threesome but was lacking slightly. The girls seemed to get along pretty well but not great. I think the camera angles were off just a little also which kept a lot of things obstructed. It’s a nice scene but nothing that’s going to stick in my memory past tomorrow.

Finally, Inari decides to see how the other half lives and tries out Nakita, Alishia’s maid. Inari seems to almost always be worth watching and this scene isn’t any different. She and Nakita have pretty good chemistry together and they use a few toys also, which I like. It’s an okay way to end the movie, and more to the point, the standard way to end this formula of movie.

Perhaps my biggest complaint about Memoirs of a Madam is some of the style of the editing. Anytime the camera has to splice together a scene or somebody changes position or the screen has a white flash. It’s not something I normally like anyway, but it seems like it happens at least once a minute in some scenes. It makes the movie look very low budget, the cast incompetent, and like the makers don’t really know what they’re doing.

I hate ending on negatives in reviews unless it’s completely necessary. Thankfully, this isn’t a movie where it’s necessary. Instead I can end with a thank you to Metro. Thank you for having real credits at the end of the movie. I wasn’t familiar with several of the people in the cast. Thanks to you having real credits I can look up some of their other movies now. Some of these are probably Metro releases and because I know who the people are, you’ll probably sell a few more titles. I know this seems simple, but I felt I had to include it as most companies haven’t figured it out yet. Thank you Metro for caring about your movies and the people in them enough to let the viewers know who they are.

Extras: Metro has a nice offering of extras on this DVD. There is a slide show, bios, behind the scenes, and trailers. The “True Perspective Multiple Angles” I’ve covered already, so I don’t want to beat a dead horse.

The slide show is what has come to be the standard slide show of today’s DVDs. It’s automated lasting two minutes with about five seconds per still. The overall picture quality varies slightly but it’s still pretty average overall.

Bios are included for Claudia, Mikki, Inari, Lola, Caroline, and Nakita. There’s a few statistics on the star as well as a little personal information. There’s also a link to the person’s scene. It’s a fairly basic bio, but well done.

The behind the scenes featurette lasts about thirteen and a half minutes. It goes behind the sets a little showing the stars kicking back a little and includes interviews with many of the stars. There’s some great advise from Vince Voyeur and a little bit from Inari on why she hates behind the scenes features. Perhaps the scariest thing is Caroline talking about piercing and her love of pain.

Metro is very good about giving trailers to view and this is no exception. Unlike many of their past releases, Metro didn’t devote the second side of the DVD to trailers. This didn’t stop them from giving a lot of trailers. There are trailers for Things Change 3 and 4, Taboo 19, Revenge, Pink, Euro Babes 4, Babes Illustrated 8, Hand Job Hunnies, The Ultimate Squirting Machine 2, and Houston 500 on the DVD. The only problem I can find with the trailers is that there is no menu to tell you what trailers are on the DVD. You have to scroll through a nicely arranged screen for each title to see what trailers are there.

Themes: Straight, group, anal, lesbian, toys, cum swapping, inter-racial, and spanking

Raincoat Factor: Fairly high

Overall: Currently, Memoirs of a Madam can be found online for between $16 and $25 with many stores offering it for under $20. This seems fairly high but its definitely worth renting. Fans of Quasarman probably won’t be disappointed.

Note to Metro: Nice job on the extras, but if you’re going to offer multiple angles, especially “True Perspective Multiple Angles” use real multiple angles. Also, you give a great selection of your trailers. Please include a menu for them in future releases so that the watcher doesn’t have to scroll through them to see if there’s anything they are interested in.

If you have any questions or comments, please e- mail me .

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The opinions expressed in this review of Memoirs of a Madam from Metro are not necessarily the opinions of Adult DVD Talk. Adult DVD Talk provides a public forum for consumers to post their DVD reviews. Adult DVD Talk does not edit these reviews.