Me Luv U Long Time #5 ****
2003, 2 hours and 20 minutes
Red Light District Video
Directed by Robbie Fischer
Produced by Dion Giarrusso
Starring Nautica Thorn, Luci Thai, Sable Simms, Kylie Rey, Lucy Lee, Brooke Milano
It’s amazing to me that in 2004, the adult industry still remains impervious to the politically-correct notions of mainstream moviemaking. Only in porn can a white man make a flick entitled, “Big Butt Black Bitches” and not be called a racist or misogynist. In fact, he’d be lauded as the opposite; a lover of women, especially those of color. It’s a weird world we live in, no? The rules are completely opposite once you reach the Van Nuys city limits. Porn has always drawn clear lines in the sand and looked the other way, turning a blind eye where it concerns ethnicity and what the square world would call blatant discrimination. In smut, it’s not considered an exclusion, it’s called catering to a “fetish.” While we don’t see any movies with titles that clearly indicate that an entire cast is white, we do see our fair share of titles that are dead giveaways as to what the production is all about: Titles with words like “booty”, “sistas”, “ghetto”, “bitches” or “hoes” indicates a black cast. “Chica”, “mamacita” and “spicy” are found on movies where latinas dominate the action. Not to be outdone and to make certain their consumers know exactly what they’re getting, Red Light District assembled their all-Asian line, Me Luv U Long Time, a phrase popularized by the 2 Live Crew when they sampled the voice of an Asian street hooker from the Kubrick classic, “Full Metal Jacket” in their hit single, “Me So Horny”, which coincidentally, would have made just as good a title for this series. The fifth installment features one of their best young casts yet; a virtual who’s who of up-and-cummers and first-year rookie phenoms.
Nautica (Fuck Dolls, Throat Gaggers #5) is spread out on a sofa with her amazing ass in the air. As a former dancer, she knows exactly how to manipulate that cushy tushy to make it look oh-so-appealing; it looks as soft, round and ripe as a peach. I nearly break my two front teeth trying to take a bite. Every inch of her all-natural body appears just that soft and alluring; her pussy looks as though it would feel like velvet and you could just lose yourself in it for hours at a time. Half-Japanese, half-Hawaiian and only 19-years-old, Nautica has been in the business for 8 months so far. After a seductive dance/strip routine set to slow music, Nautica licks her palms and starts sucking and stroking the cocks of Chris Charming and Claudio Meloni. This action is brief as Nautica quickly seats herself reverse cowgirl on Claudio and continues to blow Chris. Claudio lifts Thorn in the air for Charming to get his crack at her pussy hole. After this, she turns around cowgirl on Claudio and leans over to suck on Charming’s cock as he sits beside them. Again, Claudio lifts Nautica off of his lap and Charming comes around to penetrate her snatch from behind before letting her suck his dick some more while Claudio bangs her jiggly ass cowgirl. Claudio stands with Nautica on his lap cowgirl and she leans over backwards to inhale Charming’s manhood. Chris takes a seat on the couch and Claudio drops Nautica right on his lap reverse cowgirl. Nautica spins around and leans back, putting her shoulders on the floor for Claudio to nail her in the piledriver position. There’s only a little of this before Claudio pulls her back up onto his lap where we get a gorgeous view of her shaking ass and a cute lil starfish we’ll never see poked. At this point, Nautica’s got a mouthful of Charming and a snarl on her face. She gets up and rides Charming reverse cowgirl, taking Claudio into her mouth again, muffling her moans. Probably the best shot of the entire scene is next where Claudio pummels Nautica doggie, her rump high in the air and her cheeks spread wide. The action is captured from underneath and the only thing that possibly ruins it, is Nautica’s not-so-tight abs bounding around almost as much as her butt. Claudio grabs a handful of those fleshy mounds and turns her pussy hole upwards to fuck it raw while Charming slaps her face and lips with his prick. Nautica’s ass is unreal, but not in the traditional, firm and tight way. It’s almost sloppy and unkempt the way it just freely pours all over the place but damned if it ain’t sexy. I imagine it’d be like fucking really warm play dough. She doesn’t let the guys fuck her ass and gape it, but her puss is open wide enough to see her kidneys. “I want you to cum all over my asian face,” Nautica coos as she kneels between the two cocks, awaiting the inevitable. Both boys jerk their manpaste all over her chin, covering it damn near completely. ****
Michael Stefano is sitting on a sofa next to Cambodian-Thai mix Luci Thai (Vouyer Vision) asking her a few questions. The San Francisco native is only 18-years-old right now. She shows off her tits and big round ass, prompting Mike to ask if she has any black in her. She’s been in the business for a whole two weeks at this point. Stefano kisses her ass (literally) and her tits before moving around behind her, sliding her cherry-red thong to the side and tasting her bung and twat. “Fuck me,” begs Luci and Mike gives in, inserting his wood into her slot doggie, slamming her hard and fast. Doggie becomes spooning but the pace never wanes, Mike’s like a piston. Luci licks his cock quickly before jumping on for a cowgirl ride, her long black hair cascading over her undulating ass. Stefano’s pounding her pussy so hard, he’s snapped a garter loose that’s parked itself right in her crack. After riding him standing cowgirl, Thai gets on her knees to vigorously blow Mike’s tool no-hands then settles back in for a reverse cowgirl session, first sitting then standing. As I said before, “Luci Thai is nothing short of stunningly beautiful; long straight black hair, mesmerizing almond-shaped eyes, a big and natural perfect shelf of a rack, a wide mouth that could easily accommodate multiple members and a set of full luscious lips that would make most black starlets consider collagen injections.” Mish is next on the menu where Luci is breathing and moaning in that “I can’t take any more or I’m seriously gonna die!” way that all the asian chicks in the really bad amateur tapes do. You think the former Luciano gives a flying fuck? Hell no. He just makes her suck his cock before grabbing her legs and putting her in what I thought was going to be a Boston Crab, but turns out to just be the piledriver position. This doesn’t last very long and before you know it, we cut back to Thai bouncing her ass off of Mike’s lap cowgirl again then Mike hits her from behind in some standing doggie. “Like that, just like that…,” Luci instructs as Stefano palms her ass on both sides and plugs away like a man possessed. “What do you want, baby?” he asks. “I want you to cum!” Mike puts Luci on her knees and splatters the right side of her face with a lumpy load. Luci would be awesome if she were just a bit more pro-active in her scenes occasionally but perhaps that will come with time and a bit more experience. ***
20-year-old Sable Simms (POV Pervert, Invasian) has been in the business for one month she tells us as she sits on a flower patterned sofa. Only one b/g scene in her short career so far but today she thinks she’s ready for b/b/g with polar opposites, the beefy Dick Delaware and the wiry Scott Lyons. For someone I thought might be shy, Simms doesn’t hold her tongue when Delaware starts licking her pussy. She lets loose with some wails, obviously enjoying it or putting on quite a show. For being such a good candy eater, Dick gets to fuck her first cowgirl while Lyons closes her trap with his half-hard on. Sable has to clutch on to Delaware tightly as not to be thrown off by his rapid-fire fuck speed. “Suck his dick while I fuck you,” he demands of Simms as he lies her on her side to spoon her. Dick’s enjoying her little sideways slit just as much as she likes having him in there. “You want some of this pussy?,” Dick offers and he and Lyons trade up ends of Simms’ body. Once he gets going, Lyons hardens up like he should and strokes Sable like a good porn star is supposed to. Simms drops her tight pussy over Delaware’s prod reverse cowgirl next, leaning back putting her hands on his chest. This footage is short, however and we cut to Lyons giving Sable some enthusiastic up-and-over doggie (with great camerawork) while she keeps a tight seal around Delaware’s meat while he slowly fucks her face. Her tiny mouth is crammed tight with his cock until he comes around and fills her up again from behind doggie. I can’t believe she’s actually asking to be fucked harder, she already looks as if she’s being stretched to the absolute limit by these two hung guys. They take turns railing her mish with her legs way up over her head before Sable starts requesting “hot loads in my fucking mouth.” That’s just where she gets’em, too. Lyons and Delaware both jerk man chowder onto her bottom lip and chin, Delaware managing to cum twice. Sable took a nice submissive pounding here and looked good doing it. *** ½
Kylie Rey (Reality Teens Gone Crazy) is a Cambodian-Salvadorian cutie who has been in the business for two weeks. Her body isn’t particularly earth-shattering by any means, but she’s got a really adorable smile, small but sexy pouty lips and dreamy, come-hither bedroom eyes. She plays with herself for a few seconds, getting herself nice and horny for Brian Pumper and Scott Lyons. She takes Pumper into her mouth out of his Roc-A-Wear jeans first and then Lyons waddles over with his jeans and underwear down around his ankles. Kylie looks fantastic perched between two erections, making “popping” sounds with her lips and mouth as she sucks on their heads. Lying back on a blue sofa, Pumper pumps away at her face and Lyons gets Rey really wet with his tongue and fingers. Kylie gets fucked mish by Pumper first and then spooned aggressively by Lyons. “That pussy’s wet, ain’t it?,” Pumper asks Lyons and damned if it ain’t so; her geisha gash is making a variety of wet, sloppy, smacking sounds as she rides Pumper cowgirl while she continues to blow Lyons. “You like that? You like that lil tight pussy?,” she asks Lyons riding him reverse cowgirl. Pumper interrupts her line of questioning with a hard dick to her mouth. Don’t you wish you could do that in everyday situations? Some lady starts asking questions she already knows the answer to? BAM. Dick in the mouth. It sure would make my day job a ton easier. The guys switch places now, Lyons in her mush and Pumper in her twat reverse cowgirl-style. Kylie is getting slit stretched doggie by Scott when I notice…a wedding ring on Lyons’ hand. Who’d have thunk it? There’s a lil Mrs. Lyons somewhere out there. Pumper gets his crack at her crack next and applies an unorthodox ‘crossover grip’ to her buttcheeks as he slides in and out. Lyons just chills by her head with his flaccid penis in his lap, trying to put it in her mouth as his wife sits at home and wonders why he never brings big black brothas like Pumper home to fuck her since Lyons can rarely keep it up for more than three minutes at a time. It’s cum shot time and Kylie is super-sexy as she waits, massaging her little tits and waiting to be doused. Surprisingly, it’s Lyons who gets off first and then Pumper layers Rey’s chin with an equally watery spray. Kylie gives us a cute wave goodbye, cum dripping off her face. I can’t put my finger on it, but there’s something about Kylie Rey. Maybe she reminds me of some girl I used to fuck or at least, wanted to. *** ½
Covergirl Brooke Milano (Perfect Specimens) is up next. I had the pleasure of seeing her first scene ever in Devil’s Films Tight & Asian #3 and already I can sense she’s about 100 times more comfortable in front of the camera here than she was in that. She’s still 18, though and this is only her seventh scene. Fischer can’t resist pinching her nipples and slapping her ass himself when she bares the goods at his request. Robbie’s been so busy admiring her he forgot to ask her ethnicity (she’s Chinese-Filipina). Excuse me while I mark out, but when her partner walks on-screen, I lose it. One of my favorite male performers of all-time, T.T. Boy is in the house, ladies and gentlemen. He leans over, peers into the camera and flashes his trademark devilish grin…oh, Brooke. You’re getting WRECKED today, honey, I can feel it. T.T. is looking at her like a caged animal, like a vulture looming over a fresh carcass. Her ass is his. He plays nice at first, letting Milano give her best attempt at head. She hasn’t improved much in that area in the five scenes she’s done since her first. T.T.’s bored with that nonsense. It’s time to fuck. Cut to Brooke’s snatch with T.T.’s dick buried in it balls-deep reverse cowgirl, a handful of tits in each hand. He’s still letting Milano “learn at her own pace” thus far, but I know the monster in him will eventually beg for release and then, my friends, it’s curtains for our poor Ms. Milano. Boy bends her over and strokes her down doggie, now in control of all of the action. I can see the early ‘90s T.T. Boy slowly starting to emerge when he grabs her hips and picks up the pace. He positions the pussy just where he wants it and tries to fuck the piercing out of her bottom lip by sheer brute force. He nearly succeeds. There should be some sort of porno laws or guidelines that prohibit these unfair sexual pairings. You shouldn’t be allowed to tackle veterans like T.T. if you’re under a certain age or haven’t yet completed a required number of scenes. T.T.’s giving orders now: “Don’t touch it. Look at me. Now sit down.” as he walks Milano through the proper way to suck his cock and approach him for cowgirl sex requests. Welcome to Asian Boot Camp, your Drill Instructor is “Terrible” Troy Boy. Your next exercise will be the missionary position. But before that, let me say that while he has Brooke riding him cowgirl, I see T.T. annoyed, smacking away at something off-camera. Suddenly, he’s very angry and he gives it one final slap. It was a throw pillow or a cushion from the couch, for God‘s sake. His vigorous fucking had dislodged it and T.T., psycho that he is, felt compelled to punish it for getting in his way. Damn. T.T. lays into Milano doggie next, one of her legs cocked high in the air and T.T.’s yelling at her like she’s on the pull-up bar: “Get up there! Get that ass up there!” This goes on until T.T. dribbles a few dollops of goo right on the tip of Milano’s tongue. She got worked out here and is coming along quite nicely. It’s too bad I hear she’s already gone. ***
Korean Lucy Lee (Cum Drippers #4, Me Luv U Long Time #3) is our closer. A veteran compared to the rest of the girls, she’s been in over fifty scenes in her seven-to-eight months in the business. And she’s from Torrance, CA like the fictional Dirk Diggler! Today, however, is special because today Lucy is going to do her first on-screen anal scene. Lucy rubs her pussy and waits for “The Real Deal” Michael Stefano to walk on-set. He joins Lucy on the couch and gets to work prepping her asshole for his eventual onslaught by licking and fingering it. He then undoes his zipper and lets Lucy rub his cock across her little pointy nipples before taking it into her mouth. This girl is SKILLED, to say the least. Mike returns the favor with his tongue and fingers, letting Lucy taste her pussy before spooning her on the sofa. He gives her a wet kiss and licks her face all over before turning up his speed a notch, eliciting some screams from Lee. She gives him a nasty, deepthroating hummer (I told you she has serious skillz) before letting Mike grab handfuls of her tiny ass and lower her onto his now-slippery with saliva cock cowgirl. He holds her weight up, letting her pussy hover above his cock so he can pound away at it with no resistance. Back to prepping for anal, Stefano lies Lucy back, licks her pussy and slowly slides two fingers in her brown eye. Lucy’s face looks a little pained and apprehensive, but so far so good. He follows this up with a little bit of mish and then bends Lee over a stool, making her spread her ass open while he fucks her pussy doggie. An excellent view and extra-horny position here with Mike making full use of it by stabbing his pecker in out of her like a knife. Now it’s time to move to the anal festivities as Stefano eases his tool into Lucy’s most sacred of orifices. Lucy’s hair is a sweaty mangle when Mike brushes it out of her face to grab hold of some for leverage. In one smooth motion, the couple is back on the sofa, this time reverse cowgirl, Lucy’s bung taking a beating, but her nipples perpetually and noticeably erect. Sexy stuff here with sweat running down Lee’s face as she grinds her asshole in circles over Stefano’s prod. She gives his prick some ass-to-mouthing before bending over for more proper doggie attention, pulling her cheeks apart. “I love dick in my ass,” Lucy says convincingly, with a dirty grin. I believe her. On her knees, Lucy gets her upper lip plastered by Stefano’s blasts then cleans his cock up nicely with her pierced tongue. Something tells me she’s gonna make quite the anal diva if this first outing is any indication. ****
Pretty loaded here. We got Boner Footage (a striptease followed by a blowjob with Keiko; six minutes total), Behind the Scenes (short interviews, the photo shoots (Nautica‘s being fucking amazing), filming the actual scenes, etc. with the entire cast; twenty minutes total), an automated slideshow Photo Gallery, Cumshot Recap (all looped together, not able to choose individually, though you can skip through them with your next chapter button) and Web Access.
The Me Luv U Long Time series returns to a greatness not seen since its second installment. Fans of Asians would do well to pick it up, as it features the hottest girls on the rise and others with rockets already strapped to their backs. And “Lucky” Luciano gets to fuck both Lucys, one of them in the ass. Like the guys in that old beer ad used to say, “It don’t get much better than this.” Thumbs up.
The opinions expressed in this review of Me Luv U Long Time 5 from Red Light District are not necessarily the opinions of Adult DVD Talk. Adult DVD Talk provides a public forum for consumers to post their DVD reviews. Adult DVD Talk does not edit these reviews.