Even though the cover tells us Marc Anthony “conquered Egypt with his ass & his asp,” I really wasn’t expecting a comedy. (We’ve all seen a lot of unintentionally funny comments on DVD covers.) But the cover blurb set the right tone. It is witty, clever, unabashedly campy, and beautiful to look at.
In a prologue we see Cleopatra consulting her crystal ball for advice. (Think Nancy Reagan and her astrologer.) The big ball tells her she must wed Marc Anthony and bear a son.
The first scene finds a nude Anthony asleep on a Roman couch. Anthony is played by Mario Perez, a handsome muscular hunk that is definitely husband material. His friend Lucas Foz enters and begins massaging him. Before long Lucas’s tongue is poking its way between the meaty globes of Mario’s ass. Mario swallows Lucas’s cock and offers up his ass for Lucas to fuck. It is now quite obvious that Cleo doesn’t have what Anthony desires: a good stiff dick.
The same is true of Caesar as played by Janos Volt. He is all in favor of the wedding between Anthony and Cleopatra as it will join Egypt to Rome and expand the empire. He gets fucked by one of his attendants, a slender ultra-sexy vision who is known only as Deny. (He’s listed as Dany in the film but is identified as Deny on both the cover and at the Website [www.man-size.com]). After being regally screwed, Caesar calls Anthony before him and tells him to go to Egypt and marry Cleo. Anthony arrives in Egypt with his asps. Both the one he has tattooed on his groin and the one he carries in a wicker basket.
As Anthony is bathing, an Egyptian enters. Anthony makes his desires known and the Egyptian gladly complies and gives lip service to the humpy Roman. Anthony also partakes of some Egyptian meat. We then cut to Anthony fucking the Egyptian. And then to Anthony riding the stud’s cock. Anthony then gets it sidesaddle and missionary. Anthony has found happiness in Egypt and it isn’t with Cleo.
Cleo, however, has seen these goings-on and is distraught. She consults her chief advisor for a love potion. “I hope it turns him straight,” she says. When Anthony drinks it he falls asleep and has a dream that is the highlight of the film.
He dreams he is in a room with two mummies. Stiff prongs protrude from underneath their wrappings and they are not stiff with rigor mortis. Anthony sucks them through these uncanny glory holes. Suddenly the room is filled with a whole gaggle….swarm?…pride?….of mummies. They converge on Anthony and one another. It’s an erotic Night of the Living Dead. Kinky as Hell! I LOVE IT! Bit by bit they unwind from their wrappings. Anthony becomes the meat in a mummy sandwich. Elsewhere another mummy sandwich is in progress. Janos Volt and Deny also appear as mummies in this dream. Anthony is mummy-fucked by Deny. At the scene’s conclusion, Anthony is inundated with mummy matter. I wonder what was in that drink Cleo gave him that could produce such visions? Put me down for a case.
When Anthony awakens, Cleo discovers the potion hasn’t worked for her. In sheer desperation she sends her advisor, Hocus Pocus, to get some of Anthony’s sperm. Finding the naked Anthony, lying on his stomach, the dutiful slave begins a sensuous massage. Anthony turns over for more and the slave uses his mouth in Anthony’s throbber in his quest for sperm.
Returning to Cleo and unable to open his mouth, Hocus nods that he has been successful. “Well done!” she exclaims slapping him on the back. Gulp!
Not to be deterred, Cleo tries one more time. But as she reaches out for the sleeping Anthony dick she encounters his asp. It’s not the prick she was after.
In a celebratory conclusion, Anthony and Caesar get it on with a hunky Egyptian, Luis Casas. Everyone fucks and everyone gets fucked. Rome and Egypt have indeed “becum” one.
I have been rather critical of il direttore Sebastiano Brogi’s last two films and I am glad he has done such a good job here. I do miss the entry of the cocks however. To me there is nothing as hot as seeing the initial entry of a cock into an ass, cunt, or mouth, and to join the action in medias fuck or in medias suck makes me feel I’ve missed the best part. So, the sexual quotient isn’t as high as that from Higgins, Handsome, or Borbely. The prices for these films aren’t as high either. And I believe in time the sex will sizzle. That aside, there is much to enjoy here. The sets and costumes are superb. Perhaps the best I have seen in this type of film. The guys are drop-dead gorgeous. Mario Perez makes a compelling Anthony. And the film is filled with humor. All in all, it was a pleasure to view and quite probably will become a cult classic. Watch it with friends.