As the opening credits roll on Nic Andrews's 108 min. Lethal Weapon-style blockbuster, we are treated to well-filmed shots of the L.A. skyline. We open up the movie with bad boy Cheyne Collins drag racing on a bridge against Brittney Skye. He wins, which is good for him because Brittney "doesn't fuck losers."
Sex Scene #1: Brittney Skye and Cheyne Collins
He takes his hot little trophy to the back of his van; while it's not an award-winning performance, it's difficult to be super negative about an attractive big-titted blonde sucking cock. She tears off her tanktop as he licks away at her pussy; they move to spoon and he pounds away at her shaved slit. It's true "feature sex" as the soundtrack drowns out actual sex sounds. Cheyne pounds away briefly in doggie position before launching his load on her ass/lower back.
The movie's true stars are the duo of bad cop Roth (Barrett Blade) and good cop Simms (Eric Masterson). That's right, Blade is nut job Riggs and Masterson is straight arrow Murtaugh. There's some light-hearted ribbing that takes place as the two order at a drive-thru burger joint. Masterson has apparently split with his wife and Blade is telling him to get over it.
The duo arrive too late to bust the drag racers, but they do have a word with parolee Dante (Collins). After a little pistol persuasion, Collins coughs up that a certain "Anthony Scott" is paying big bucks for good Vehicle Identification Numbers (VINs) for stolen vehicles. Collins is actually pretty good as the cowardly little informant Dante.
Marcus Brody (Lee Stone) and his girlfriend (Jesse Jane) pay a late night visit to a deserted junkyard; Stone admonishes her to stay in the car while he takes care of some business. "Mr. Scott" (Tyce Bune) has a problem with Brody's VIN plates, claiming that the latter is holding out for a few extra bucks. The hot blonde, sitting in the car waiting for her boyfriend, is horrified to see him executed. Under a hail of bullets, she narrowly escapes knowing that she is a marked target.
Our crime-fighting duo are back in the office (predictably, Roth is a total slob and Simms is the picture of order). Asia Carrera is their hard-ass boss. Hehe, you already know what one of the future scenes is gonna be. Smarmy Mike Horner brings the news of Brody's spectacular demise; Simms (Masterson) leaves as Roth (Blade) buckles down to write that report for the bitchy lieutenant.
Sex Scene #2: Lea De Mae and Tyce BuneCrimelord Scott (Bune) is enjoying a manicure from Lea while taking care of business. One of his flunkies brings the news that they've traced the plates of the murder witness to Heather Myers (Jesse Jane). Mr. Scott gives the order to kill her, then orders his manicurist to work on another extremity. After a brief blowjob, we find the blonde in reverse cowgirl. She strips off her tanktop and we're treated to watching her natural tits giggle during a spoon position. They move to cowgirl before Bune unloads a stream of cum across her face.
Detective Simms (Masterson) questions Myers (Jesse Jane), who is apparently a photographer. She's actually pretty convincing as the grieving girlfriend as she gives her testimony of her boyfriend's murder. She refuses to go to the station to look at mug books, so Simms hands her his business card and lets himself out after she promises to go to the station in the morning.
Sex Scene #3: Jesse Jane and Lee Stone
It's flashback time as she tosses and turns during the night. Only the silly new-agey soundtrack detracts from the gorgeous view we get of Jesse sucking Lee's cock to full mast. He eagerly licks away at her pussy, but before long we have her bouncing energetically on his cock in reverse cowgirl. It's obvious that there is great personal chemistry between these two; finally Lee blows his wad on Jesse's belly and sadly it's the end of a scene we would have liked to see go on and on with much more carnal detail.
Knock, knock! Okay, how many killers knock on the front door before busting through? I dunno, but Jesse wakes up startled, grabs her motorcycle helmet and bails via the fire escape ladder. The bad guys fail to shoot her down as her bike screams off into the night.
Simms returns to the office to find Roth at his newly-cleaned desk and fills in his partner on the witness's status. The boys are about to call it quits for the night when Jesse phones in for help. Soon, the guys are checking into a motel with their lovely blonde charge. Simms heads home to check in with his old lady as well as the lieutenant while bad boy Roth has the first watch over the hottie. Disappointingly for Roth, she's already sound asleep, exhausted from the day's events.
The morning sun brings a rested Simms plus a bag full of donuts and coffee. Roth goes home for a shower and change of clothes while his straight arrow partner watches over Jesse. While Roth is finding out that Dante has never called back, Simms is explaining to his wife that he won't be home for a few days.
Sex Scene #4: Jesse Jane and Eric Masterson
Straight arrow Simms unloads how difficult life is with his ex-wife. Jesse gives him a primer on being more sensitive, then caps off the touchy-feely session by sucking his cock. Soon enough, she's bouncing on his cock; the "couples-friendly" soundtrack is annoyingly loud, but by now we're grudgingly used to it. He pounds her pussy in doggy and spoon, before launching his load in an extremely succinct scene.
Roth is pissed that informant Dante (Collins) didn't call back. With a little convincing with his pistol, he gets the cowardly little ratfink to cough up some information on the probable location one of Scott's men. Roth returns to motel, only to find Simms and the little hottie finishing up. He's disappointed in his partner (but probably secretly disappointed that he didn't get the chance to slam his cock in her tight twat). Anyhow, the three of them scope out the location Dante gives and start tailing one of Scott's men.
They follow the suspect's car to Scott's warehouse operation; the two cops leave Jesse in the SUV to deal with the situation. Roth (Blade) inadvertently makes some noise and all of a sudden we have a full scale firefight during this botched bust. Meanwhile, Jesse has ignored orders to stay in the car and grabs a weapon to pay back her boyfriend's murderer with piping hot lead. Her plan fails and Scott and his henchman capture her and escape.
Back at the office the lieutenant is furious (hey, it's L.A., she should be used to this sort of incompetence) and takes them off the case. They're both suspended for a month.
Sex Scene #5: Asia Carrera and Barrett Blade
Okay, like we didn't see this one coming. Roth does the kissy-kiss makeup thing with the lieutenant. Shortly, he's going down on the hot Asian babe. A brief blowjob is followed by doggy style and missionary on her desk, and culminates with a popshot on her chest.
Non-Sex Action - Finale
Roth finds Simms in the armory (or whatever they call it: it's the place with all the guns). Dressed in black with their fancy large-caliber toys, you know they're gonna party tonight! The boys get the call from Dante to head to the wharf where they'll find Jesse and the bad guys. The plan is for Simms to rescue Jesse while Roth causes a distraction.
It's a fun-filled, action-packed ending that I'll let the viewer witness on his/her own.
DVD Extras & Production Values
There's optional audio commentary for this movie. In the special features section, there are more goodies. You should probably watch the "Bonus Sex Scene" after finishing up with the movies. The bloopers reel is pretty funny as it includes the standard "duh, I forgot my lines" gaffes to more adult film-oriented mistakes. I've been on sets of mainstream films and boy, are they damned boring, but the "behind the scenes" gives the average viewer some of the highlights of what goes on behind the scenes (not much usually). The obligatory photo gallery, cast bios, and trailers round out the extras.
For adult film, the production values are superb. There's some stuff that isn't quite up to that of mainstream cinema, but hey, the producers didn't sink in $120 million. It looks like the movie was shot on 35mm in original Academy aperture so we have letterbox bars; the actual film-to-DVD transfer is excellent. The audio quality is top-notch; my Dolby Digital receiver indicates that this is at least Digital 5.1.
As an adult feature, this film is right up there with the best. While the good cop/bad cop plot isn't the most original, hey, it's a lot of fun. This is a hard driving, sexy B-movie action flick pushed occasionally into X-rated territory. The sex is a little on the tame side (none of the DP, DAP, A2M, cum-swapping, etc. circus acts so common in today's vids), but that's okay for me.
Personally, I am willing to pony up (some) cash to encourage (some) adult directors to make (some) films like this. Sure, often I'd rather watch the non-stop antics of Ass Worship 2 or Gangbang Girl 17, but sometimes a guy needs a change. If you want to add an adult feature to your library from time to time, Nic Andrews's Loaded does the trick.
Comments? Feel free to send me e-mail.