Director: Robbie Fischer
The Abridged Version: Can somebody be a good director and still put out mediocre to bad product? Yes. It just depends on how you define “good director.” Case in point, Robbie Fischer is good at what he does. It just so happens that what he does makes for archaic, usually-mediocre-often-bad porn. His is a porn where all girl’s dirty talk as if reading their lines from cue cards and most moans sound as fake as the girl’s press-on nails. In fact, he reminds me of Vince Vouyer or Stoney Curtis, just not as good. Plus, those two usually cast hot girls that cover up their weak directing. Here, the girls are slim pickings. Victoria Starr looks far better on the cover than she does in action. Katie Kaptive throws herself into Fischer’s style, but in typical porn fashion usually overdoes all the “fake” moaning and dirty talk which equals for zero heat. Prilla sleepwalks through her scene, though Tony Michaels and his possible faked cumshot did not help her at all. Cherry Poppens again takes the money and lets a guy fuck her up the ass and looks like a girl who is getting paid to let a guy fuck her in the ass. Aspen Stevens might as well be yawning instead of sucking cock in her scene. The sole savior in the bunch is Lee Ann. My God is that girl hot and just SO into her scene. That’s the small picture. How about the big picture? Well, this is a tape entitled Lingerie. What do you expect from it then? Well, girls in lingerie of course. Don’t hold your breath. Fischer fucks that up too, often stripping the girls of their lingerie completely, thus rendering this undistinguishable from the rest of his shelf-filler titles, be it 1 Dick 2 Chicks or something else. Ultimately, this movie is the one thing that porn must not be: boring.
Scene 1: Victoria Starr (cover girl, unattractive tan lines) w/Julian (20 minutes)
The feature opens with immediate disappointment as Victoria Starr ends up looking nowhere near as good in her scene as she does on the front cover. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that she never wears the lingerie she has on in the cover. Fischer edits together a nice montage, overlapping images of Victoria changing outfits with images of her playing the piano. The revelation that she is in fact a rather talented pianist is something he could not pass up highlighting. Unfortunately, she finally decides upon a rather boring light blue two-piece outfit. She wears a black choker and a gold belly belt that look sexier than her outfit. Julian eats her out and we find out that she is of some foreign nationality, muttering out, “Lick my pussy,” in a vaguely Eastern European accent. However, this pussy eating as well as the subsequent blowjob goes by far too fast. In no time, he is pounding her pussy in missionary. It seems that Julian is a bit too big for Victoria. She never lets him go balls deep in her and is consistently elevated rather high above him in cowgirl and reverse cowgirl so that only a portion of his dick can penetrate her. Yet she consistently tells him to fuck her with his big dick. The one time he starts to pound her real deep, in doggy, we cut and return to find him again mostly halfway inside her. Finally, he gives up and just shoots a big load on her face, which is met with immediate surprise as if she had been shot in the face and then quickly recovered calm and playing to the camera. Victoria moaned pretty consistently throughout and with Julian she definitely knew her limits. However, it is still a rather poor scene. It’s somewhat unthinkable that in a tape centered around the concept of girls wearing lingerie that from the blowjob on Victoria is completely naked.
Scene 2: Katie Kaptive (brunette, all natural, resembles one of the Olsen twins) w/Darren James and Michael Stefano (23 minutes)
Katie has only been in the business for two months. Before doing porn, she worked at an ice cream store. However, she has been a slut since she lost her virginity to an older guy at age 15. During this interview, she is wearing a sexy black lingerie outfit complimented by black stockings and F-me pumps. Inexplicably, we cut to a close-up of her face as she tells us that she wants to fuck two guys. When we pullout to see the two guys walking into the frame her lingerie is completely gone. She is only wearing black stockings now. So much for that whole “lingerie” thing. Also, this scene is indicative of the tape’s horrendous gap between production date (Oct. 2003) and release date (Jun. 2004). Here, Darren James appears and is in perfect health and Katie Kaptive, who has long since vanished from porn, is brand new to the scene. Michael Stefano’s finger in her pussy is quickly replaced by his dick. Soon, he is spearing her in sideways missionary as she sucks on Darren James’ “black cock.” This scene soon turns comically fake. There’s lots of moaning and dirty talk going on but none of it sounds too authentic. “I love your cock all over my face. It tastes so good. I love sucking black cock.” The only redeeming virtue is that Fischer captures some of the penetration in good angles. The guys take turns with her in sideways missionary, doggy, reverse cowgirl, and cowgirl. The only part I found remotely exciting was when Michael stands up and lifts her up and down on his dick as she reaches down pretty far to jerk Darren off. Otherwise, this shitty scene ends with Michael shooting off in her mouth and Darren dropping a big load on her chin and nose.
Scene 3: Prilla (big, poofy red hair, cute, slim) w/Tony Michaels (25 minutes)
There is actually some attempt at storyline here. Prilla wears a barely there lingerie outfit and shows it off to Tony as if he were her boyfriend. “This is why I went shopping.” He seems to love it, though he quickly pushes it to the side so he can lick her ass and pussy. After a blink-and-you’ll-miss it blowjob, he fucks her in missionary and finally the girl actually keeps the lingerie on. Her panties are just pushed to the side and her small breasts are still slightly hidden behind a see-thru bra. After cowgirl, he tears off her top she her perky little breasts can bounce freely for all to see in reverse cowgirl. Those panties are still just pushed to the side though. They do it some more in doggy and sideways missionary. Still wearing her panties, she kneels in front of him and begs for cum. Sorry, this too was comical. He is shaking is halfway limp dick in front of her face and with every shake she moves her head upwards. It was like watching a dog beg for a dog treat. It was not sexy in the least bit. We cut and return to him on the verge of orgasm. Oddly, there is now a mysterious liquid in-between his hand and his dick. Then he shoots a massive stream of cum on her face followed by several smaller streams. Could this have been a fucking faked facial? Very possibly. Despite the points the scene gets for finally somewhat doing the lingerie angle justice, it is still a somewhat horrible display of filmed sex.
Scene 4: Cherry Poppens (cute redhead w/blonde highlights, pale white skin, slim, natural body, sometimes into the action and sometimes not all, nipple rings) w/Michael Stefano (23 minutes)
It’s funny how certain outfits in porn become very popular with the girls or the companies. Cherry is wearing the same exact two-piece lingerie that August Night wears on the cover of Beverly Hills Dolls (Baby Doll Pictures). I got to say. It looked a little better on her. It is primarily black with some pink trim. There are pink bows at the curve of the neck and the top of the panties. Oddly, she pulls off the panties and we cut and return to find her in a new, sexier outfit with the similar characteristics and color scheme. This is a one-piece and is connected to her black stockings by sexy garters. There is no cover to her ass in this lingerie, likely meaning that it is meant to be worn with panties. She wears none, which permits easy access for Michael, who eagerly licks her pussy and ass as she poses for the camera. After a quick throat fuck, she rides his dick in reverse cowgirl. Cherry has a very pink pussy complimented by natural red pubic hair shaved in the landing strip pattern. Also, she is still wearing her lingerie, though the top is now crunched up in the middle of her stomach. In cowgirl, Michael pulls her cheeks open to reveal what is a very tight asshole. He tries to get her to finger it but she is reluctant to do so. So, he fingers it for her, doing his best to loosen it for the inevitable anal sex. There is more of the same preparation in standing doggy. Finally, it is time. She lies on her back and lifts her legs high in the air. She reaches down to open her ass cheeks as wide as she can. Even here, that ass does not look ready to get a cock the size of Michael Stefano’s in it. Yet it still happens. He very slowly works himself up the ass, admirably aware of her needs and maintaining near constant conversation with her. Despite her moans and dirty talk, I do not think that she was experiencing a whole lot of pleasure. In reverse cowgirl, she even has her left stocking pulled off and in her mouth to muffle any cries of pain. Michael never goes very hard or deep but I wouldn’t be surprised, judging from some of the penetration shots, if she experienced some anal tearing. He shoots off a sizeable load in her mouth, which she plays with for a bit before swallowing.
Scene 5: Aspen Stevens (sultry brunette, unbelievable natural breasts, puffy nipples, bit of a space cadet, pouty face) w/Brian Pumper and Jon Dough (23 minutes)
From the second this scene starts I am thinking that Aspen is either on something or just a complete space cadet. She has an extremely far away look in her eyes that tells of some mind altering substance or a shockingly inert natural expression. Either seems possible. She is wearing red stockings, white garters, and see-thru panties. Her breasts are uncovered with good reason: they are quite simply amazing and must be displayed for as long as possible. These natural C-cup puppies re-define ripe. Ever seen The Godfather (1972)? Remember what Michael’s (Al Pacino) Italian wife’s breasts looked like, with those ultra puffy nipples? That is kind of what Aspen’s look like, only bigger and better. However, it is pretty obvious that this was filmed quite some time ago when she was fresh off the bus. The guys tell her what to do throughout the whole scene. For example, at the beginning Brian tells her to simply open her mouth and keep it open. She does, without batting an eyelash, and he unexpectedly sticks half of his cock down her throat in one thrust. They both love how submissive she is. This is, of course, a typical porn threesome though. Whenever a guy is not fucking he is getting is dick sucked, which allows little time for Aspen to moan. They start off in sideways missionary and then take turns in reverse cowgirl. With her panties pushed to the side and Brian’s big dick thrusting in and out of her, she is able to fire off some loud moans. Ultimately, they take turns in doggy, piledriver, and cowgirl. She shows absolutely no signs of pleasure or disgust when she kneels and lets the two shoot off on her face. Brian hits the left side of her face with an average load but Jon simply paints her face with cum. It is a huge fucking facial that would do Peter North proud, managing to even hit both her right and left eye with long strands. Again, she shows no sign of anything really, opening her eyes and starting into the camera as it fades out, seemingly unaware of the cum dripping into her eyes. This is one of the sexiest yet least interesting performers I have ever seen in porn. Also, Jon’s monster load is not very surprising when you watch the whole scene. He frequently stops throughout to keep from cumming too soon.
Scene 6: Lee Ann (ultra sexy, PERFECT body, natural B-cups, shoulder length brunette hair) w/Michael Stefano (22 minutes)
Lee is a porn star who is not a girl yet not quite a woman. She first graced the scene a couple years back, often credited as Love Lee, and then vanished. In those early 2000 appearances, she was most likely barely 18. On the comeback trail in 2004, her hair is darker and her breasts slightly larger thanks to natural growth. Most importantly, she seems much more confident about herself now. The camera loves her and that body lights up when being fucked. This is all background information. If you did not know any of it you would probably just think she was a real sexy young girl who loves sex. Now in her early twenties, she could still pass for 18. Wearing a pink corset and black stockings, she is beautiful. Michael shares this opinion though because he comes in and pretty much rips off her corset and feasts upon her pussy as if he were dying of hunger. For the remainder of the scene, she will only be wearing her black choker and black stockings. They fly through the blowjob so that he can fuck her hard in missionary. These two people are clearly into each other and fucking up a storm, as if they would be doing the same thing even if the camera were not there. Of course, Robbie has to fuck it up and offer direction from behind the camera. She is blowing Michael straight from her pussy and Robbie instructs her to do it no-hands. Always nice to have directors sort of kill a moment like that. Luckily, these two overcome his ineptitude, as it seems that she comes to a very real and hard orgasm in cowgirl. Her whole entire pelvis seems to tighten as she screams, “I’m cumming.” Hell, she appears to orgasm again as he is standing and lifting her up and down on his dick. It is safe to say that she is properly prepared for anal. At her very energetic urging, Michael sticks his dick up her ass in doggy. It is a real tight fit but unlike Cherry it seems that Lee can take it. This is initially a slow going anal, as Michael inches his way in. By the time they move to reverse cowgirl though, she rides his cock in her ass balls deep. Michael shoots a pretty big load in her mouth and on her face. Funny. She tells him that she wants to taste his cum but she immediately spits out the cum that goes in her mouth.
Behind the Scenes (15 minutes)-Victoria is actually from Brooklyn, New York. However, she is quite definitely from a foreign family. She tells Robbie that she actually prefers girls to guys. Even after the scene, she tells Robbie that girls don’t need a dick to get off. She sticks out her tongue to indicate all they need to get off. She is, by the way, indeed a very talented pianist. We watch her play for a while. Aspen washes her face off and finally realizes just how much cum is on it. Katie is nervous about the guys going too deep. Prilla plays with dogs outdoors. She has a sweet personality. Cherry and the interviewer play with her cute breasts. She lost her virginity at 16 and anal virginity at 17. Licked her first pussy when she was only 12. After all of that, the best girl on the tape, Lee Ann, gets 30 seconds of time and all she does is invite us to visit Red Light’s website.
Boner Footage (12 minutes)-Fischer ain’t entirely inept. He did shoot tease footage of the girls but most was cut out and relegated to this boner footage.
Final Thought: When Lingerie 1 came out we here at ADT complained about the fact that none of the girls kept their lingerie on long enough. We surely weren’t the only ones. Well, people who worked at Red Light clearly heard us because Lingerie 2 largely fixed the issue and even added sexy tease sequences before each scene. So, it is somewhat dumbfounding to see that Lingerie 3 forgets all of that and has all of the problems and more that plagued the first installment of the series. However, once you realize that Robbie Fischer directed this installment and that David Luger directed Lingerie 2 it makes more sense. Anabolic/Diabolic (A/D) is Robbie Fischer’s new home, as they signed him to fill the void left when John Strong left for Platinum X. Maybe a locale change will do him good. I never liked any of Mike John or Erik Everhard’s films until they left A/D and joined Red Light. Kind of working in reverse order, maybe I’ll like some of Robbie’s A/D work. However, from everything I have seen from him thus far I seriously doubt it. One last note: what the fuck took so long to release this? The cover reads “Introducing: Victoria Starr.” Well, that was true back in October of 2003 when she first came to the states. However, by the time this comes out her only other scenes have been long since released and she is long gone. Red Light usually has far better turnaround time than this. What’s going on over there?
Rent it or Buy It: NEITHER.. Take away Lee Ann’s scorching scene and this feature has no re-deeming values whatsoever.
About the Author: A current college student, Kelly began his infatuation with pornography with the likes of late night Skinimax before graduating to hardcore. As such, sometimes storylines go a long way toward his enjoyment but sometimes he just wants to see some hard sex. In either avenue though, girl/girl bores him to tears. He used to operate a fan site dedicated to Taylor St. Claire, who is still to this day his favorite porn star. Right behind her at #2 and #3 in his top 3 girls of all time are Avy Scott and Jennifer Luv. Other favorites include busty women like Zora Banks, Cherry Mirage, Haley Paige, and Devinn Lane and slimmer women like Alyssa Love, Stephanie Swift, August Night, and Kelly Kline. He avoids Max Hardcore, Ed Powers, Vivid, and compilations as much as possible, and eagerly looks forward to releases from Evil Angel, Devils Film, New Sensations/Digital Sin, and Platinum X. He generally favors anal scenes and DP scenes with big facials, but is too timid for gangbangs and any such other extremities. His favorite directors are Jonni Darkko, Mike John, Joey Silvera, Tom Byron, and Jules Jordan. His favorite porn films of all time include The Fashionistas (2003), Whack Attack 9 (2001), Nice Rack 6 (2000), Service Animals 7 (2002), and Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women 1 (2000). When reading his "Rent it or Buy It" advice, take into consideration the fact that he almost never buys pornography. He is a habitual renter.