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Lewd Conduct 23
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Lewd Conduct 23

Studio: Diabolic
Category:  Straight
Directed by:
Starring: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Released on: 
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REVERSIBLE's ratings for Lewd Conduct 23:
Overall Rating 4 stars
Lewd Conduct 23 overall rating 4 stars
Female Looks Lewd Conduct 23 Female looks rating 4 stars
Male Looks Lewd Conduct 23 Male looks rating 3.5 stars
Sex Lewd Conduct 23 Sex rating 4 stars
 
Plot/Acting Lewd Conduct 23 Plot/Acting rating 0 stars
Extras Lewd Conduct 23 DVD Extras rating 3 stars
Audio/Video Quality Lewd Conduct 23 A/V Quality rating 3.5 stars
Rating Scale
Reviewed by REVERSIBLE  on  1/15/2006

 

 


INTRODUCTION


I am back. Reversible is back. The Crazy Greek is back. I was gone too long, but I came again. I am back and I am hungry. Hungry for insatiable lust and beautiful women, for hard sex and sensual moments, for passionate performances and nasty activities. More horny as ever, more determine as ever, more erotic as ever, more mad as ever, more "Greek" as ever. I am determined to enlight the ignorant of the adult industry and free them from the bonds of dark quality. The punisher of the porn criminals. The destroyer of…of …of … (mal DVDs?). Having seen many adult films from all around the world, I am in position to deliver to all of you out there, the sensuous beauties, the sizzling sex, the masters of erotica and many joyful moments of visual satisfaction. So follow me into the depths of the adult world, be witnesses of the shining moments of the lustful porn stars and feel the bit of the heart of the sexual beast that is hidden inside you.


Reverse the scenes and play them again… enjoy every single pleasureful second!


LEWD CONDUCT 23


Distribute Company: Diabolic

Director: Chico Wang

Genre: Humorous Gonzo

Performers: Katja Kassin, Marie Luv, Patricia Petite, Naudia Nyce, Sandra Romain, Dillan Lauren, Alexis Sunshine, Joel Lawrence, Pascal St. James, Brian Surewood, Scott Nails, Tony T.

 


PROLOGUE


It’s the Chico Wang’s Show with our very special guest stars . . .

Katja Kassin, Marie Luv, Patricia Petite, Naudia Nyce, Sandra Romain, Dillan Lauren and Alexis Sunshine. Special appearance by Steve Holmes and

Chicooooo’s dog!

It’s time to play the movie. Lot’s of asses, round and tight.
It’s time to meet the starlets on the Chico’s Show tonight.

It’s time to put it inside. It’s time to plug them right.
It’s time to raise the tempo on the Chico’s Show tonight.

Why do we always watch it? This is an awkward case.
It’s like a kind of torture to have to hear what Chico says. ;)

And now let’s get things started. Why don’t you get things started?
It’s time to get things started!

On the most ass-sensational, inspirational, celebrational, penetrational
This is what we call the Chico’s Show!

(Gonzo blows his trumpet - or at least attempts to.)

Lyrics from the Muppet Show… altered a bit, just a bit. ;-)

Ladies and Gentlemen get ready. In a few seconds starts the ….
CHICO “DARKKO” WANG SHOW!

Starting the most beautiful, sensuous, sexy, dirty pornstars of the Business!


SCENE FIRST. KATJA KASSIN & MARIE LUV


 

Chico: Katja, what is your favorite sandwich?
Katja: Turkey sandwich.
Chico: Marie, what is your favorite sandwich?
Marie: Peanut butter with jelly.
Chico: Joel, what is your favorite sandwich?
Joel: ASS SANDWICH!
He says with much enthusiasm as his head is bounced between the sexy bottoms of Katja and Marie.
This is gonna be a good one!

Chico: Put your ear close to Marie's ass and tell me what you hear.
Joel: I can hear the ocean.
Chico: Try the other one! What do you hear now? The Baltic Sea?
Joel: Yes. I can hear Germany.

Chico: Reversible, put also your ear close and tell me what you hear...(Hypothetical)
Reversible: Mmm...I can hear...Wait a minute… I can hear my cellular! I told you I had forgotten it somewhere!

As for you guys be very careful where you put your head to. There is a possibility for you to hear a not-so pleasant sound.

The scene opens with the sensuous Marie Luv in hot vaginal RC. Great site. Katja rubs and licks Joel testicles. A couple of PTOGM by Katja and we hop back in twat pounding. Now it is Katja's turn. The girls switch roles as Katja rides Joel's thick dong in RC. Marie spends time on both of her participants genitals. Katja turns over and a nice big booty CG occurs with additional PTOGM by the black lady. Joel nails her in vigorous rhythm. Katja lies over Marie for a creative double stucked doggy position. Both girls cheer "Ass sandwich". Joel fills Marie's pink vagina while massages Katja's dirty hole. He shifts holes and goes for Marie's tight anal opening. Some shadow effects occur. ATOGM on Katja while Marie licks his balls. Nice! Then is the German lady’s turn. Joel shaggs her anus in doggy. Joel repeats the double cleaning trick and hops again for Katja’s anal cavity. Double washing and now the attention is given to Marie’s rear orifice. Then ATOGA (Ass to other girl’s Ass) That’s a new abbreviation! He keeps altering asses. Meanwhile Katja has raised her arse up at Joel’s head, who makes her favor and gives her a proper ass lick.

Double cleaning again. The girls are now in 69 pose licking each other pussies. Katja is underneath. Joel takes the chance and violates Marie’s unoccupied rear hole. Several ATMs by Katja. Joel goes in Katja’s anal crack in missionary while Marie’s tongue is brushing her clit. Katja enjoys. ATOGMs by Marie. Double cleaning. Katja gags. The girls spit on the camera. That’s a new trend. Marie bounces her wonderful dark skinned body on Joel beefy rod getting anal pronged in an always favorable RC position. Marvelous! Next Katja is witnessed delivering her own big butt RCA version. I am happy! Marie licks three balls, Joel’s set of round sacs and Katja’s clit. The girls position next to each other. Joel spares Marie's anus in missionary (she has both of her legs lifted up) before violating Katja’s tight brown spot in sideways. ATOGM. Back to Marie. Joel reams Katja’s ass in missionary as her legs are spread wide. Double oral treatment. Joel cums in Katja’s mouth. Katja spits it in Maries, Marie chews it and spits it back to Katja. Katja swallows.

Very good FFM scene. Creative positions and lots of hard pounding action. There were only some minor shadow flaws. Hey Chico why don’t you do more ass sandwiches, you certainly got the talent for. After all… people are starving!

Marie gets pissed off if you call her Maria. Women! Don’t worry Maria I aint gonna call you Maria again!

Gee folks… I am jealous. I wanna taste too some Marie-Katja sandwich. Oh well, I will just have to settle up with a simple toast.


SCENE SECOND. PATRICIA PETITE.


Patricia is a busty French speaking brunette girl from Quebec, Canada. She talks with her nose. Anthropologically I would claim that she might also have some Eskimo genes. Anyway she is rather cute and surely knows how to get laid. Chico declares that she is going to have a dp treatment today.

Chico tries to communicate with her in Spanish breaking the language barrier between them. Gee I wonder what language Chico will use if he ever visit Greece. Chinese? ;-)

We are off and Patricia is witnessed in cowgirl, bouncing on Joel's beefy schlong. Her pussy literally sucks his massive pole inside. (For pornographical reasons I think Joel should shave some of his wool down there). Pat deep throats another French speaking guy, Pascal. At least Pat and Pascal can communicate properly. After some thorough salivation Pascal’s thick cock is now ready to slip into her tight asshole. Patricia gets both of her holes ripped hard in a CG DP. She definitely likes it. “Oui, C’est bonne!” and “Baize moi!”. (That means “It’s good!” and “Fuck me!”). It’s a tight fit down there. Pat spells st else in French, which I didn’t follow (Yeah, I do know some French but I am not a darn interpreter!) and she lowers her dirty butt crack on Pascal. Soon his penis is vanished in her “cule”. Joel slides his shaft in her exposed “vagine” to complete a quite hot full body RC DP. Her meaty labia surround nicely Joel’s cock while his French pal’s bat is nested safe and sound in her ass. Cut.

Oops! You have to see that. Joel and Pascal are laid on the bed at opposite ends facing each other. Their sperm sacs are very close and only a light tissue separates them from touching. (High Homophobic alert!) Their erected dicks are similar to a double barreled gun. And I am sure you can guess what they aim for. Patricia lowers herself in the middle and voila she gets herself double pronged. Although very odd I admit this is a hot D.P. Chico provides all the angles. Front, back and at their side. Nice! Afterwards she settles herself upside down getting anal stabbed in Piledriver mode by joel while she gives head to his friend. Pascal sodomizes her also in piledriver, this time applying the reverse version. He tries her pussy for a bit, only to commit some PTA and succesive ATP acts. A doggy anal pounding is exerciseed by Joel while Pat is blowing Pascal. The guys swap positions and the hard busting doggy anal continues. Chico captures it wonderfully. He also uses shots from the guy's head height. That's even better. The anal doggy train goes on for a while with Joel and Pascal changing in her driver's seat. The scens ends as both guys cum in her mouth. She swallows.

Another nicely set up scene.

 


SCENE THIRD. NAUDIA NYCE


Naudia is a slim brunette girl with tight apple shape hips and remarkable nasty attitude. She is cute enough although I personally prefer her "Breakin ‘em in 3" looks. Damn how old she was back then? Really folks, she looked like Ermioni, Harry Potter's girlfriend. Now she looks a lot different. She has lost too much weight, I suppose.

Anyway, Naudia is using a big plastic dildo to probe her ass. Naudia explain us the similarities between fuck and football game. “It’s like a long drive and finally get the fuckin’ touch down right in your mouth”. and she adds "The cum dribbles nicely down your throat as a reward". Chico asks her what her and her mother share. (You have to see her big smile painted in her face as Chicco declares that she told him that her mother was a crack whore. Damn, Naudia must really adore her! Kids! She is telling us that they used to share boys. She was sixteen at that time! Her mom taught her to use dildos in her ass. Some times the guys paid them and with the money she used to buy crack. Does anyone called the local authorities? What a drama. No, no for Naudia but for us, cause loco Chico keeps molesting our ears. Spare me, God! What else we gonna hear today. I guess Chico tries to become somewhat... what was the name of that crazy tv guy who had a reality show in which women kept pulling each other’s hair live... Oh I remembered...Jerry Springer.

Cut. Her white panties are pulled down but remain on her thighs. I find it very sexy. Brian Surewood fucks her ass in twisted sideways and she keeps slapping her face. Brian helps her out driving her hand in her face until a “Not my ear!” cry comes out from her mouth. Brian shows no mercy at her ripping her anus apart. He takes her meaty pussy in the missionary while she is holding her panties. She starts yelling and slapping her cheeks again. He fucks her so hard that Naudia almost faints. Cut. “I am back” she says and hops on for some hot RCA. “I am back” she says again and we certainly acknowledge her presence. Brian shifts holes filling her pussy in the same pose. He goes on fucking her like this for quite some time and I would certainly submit that she loves it. Brian’s entire dick goes all inside her womb.

She cleans his cock. Check out how. Her head reaches his genitals from the opposite direction (like in the infamous 69 pose) and Brian uses his right foot to hold her head. He flips her over, head down on the couch and violates her rectum in doggy. The poor girl is in agony. She bites her finger and her lips. Brian continues to impale her tight bum hole in doggy, while her right leg is lifted up. Again Brian switches holes and tries her vagina. Naudia is witnessed slapping her face for one more time as Brian pumps away at her snatch. Naudia goes wild. There is a lengthy attempt of Brian to bring his cute partner to an orgasm using his hand. He rubs her clit and massages her pussy internally and externally. Finally after a lot of hard work Naudia’s convulsing body and pleasurful cries indicate the thriving outcome of his efforts. This was a fine moment dedicated by Chico and Brian to our lovely starlet for all the pain she suffered during her intense anal scene. Nice touch by Chico. Finally Brian load his liquid burdain down on Naudia’s oral cavity.

The issue

These last delightful moments were meant to help potential male viewers to start thinking about their pretty mates too. I mean… we watch hard porn where “occasionally” the starlets are treated rather roughly and disrespectful in order to satisfy men’s dominant wishes. (Thankfully Chico had never exceed the limits of eroticism although sometimes some of his male talent had gone too far) Some of the men are tent to forget the human nature of the woman and face them as simple meat holes rather than conscious beings. Chico here reminds them that he have to pay some attention to our loving female partner pleasurable expectations. Guys, it is very important to keep this in mind if you want to be desirable amongst the woman population.


SCENE FOURTH. SANDRA ROMAIN.


Sandra Romain is a very charming brunette girl from Romania possesing a very sexy dark skin bodily figure. Her appetite for anal sex is insatiable and she is willing to do everything to quench her thirst. This girl is hot as volcano and her performances are more than sizzling.

She is In the exterior petting Chico’s dog. Chico offers her a cigarette and asks her about the first time she did anal. “It was so beautifully painful”, she admits. (Notice the repeating word “beautiful” not only in her short interview but many times during her scene. It has its story. Check out BTS footage). She liked it though and she actually forced her boyfriend to violate her ass more often. Gee Sandra is an anal menace. She is capable of raping men in order to satisfy her anal appetite. She makes “Disclosure” (a famous movie with Michael Douglas and Demi Moore) look like a child’s fairy tale. Then a stupid conversation about cum’s taste follows, where Chico and Sandra are mocking each other verbally. For your information if you ever want to visit Romania know that pussy in Romanian language is pronounced Piszda and the ass Coor. Also the male member is called Pucha. We Greeks also use the same name for penis. (By the way pucha is an Italian word and it means “stink”).

She is inside. Soon Joel Lawrence and Brian Surewood come naked, waving their exposed dicks at each of her cheeks. A nice double blowjob ensues where the men have their knobs properly polished. There is a cut and Sandra is seen bouncing her tight round dark skin buttocks down onto Joel’s pole, moments before Brian steps in behind her and shoves his pale into her ass tunnel completing the cowgirl DP. Sandra is very enthusiastic feeling those thick, respectable length's male members pulverizing both of her lower orifices at once. Although there are some rather noticeable dark spots, it is definitely quite a site to watch Sandra’s butt flesh waving which the impact of the furious double penile thrusting causes. The guys give it to her the hardest way and she loves every minute. I could even claim that she even fucks back. A very spirited double penetration indeed. But wait her DP treatment is not over yet. ATM. Cut and we spot her lowering her bottom down on Joel’s large pole getting probed anally in RC. She bounds for a few seconds like that, rubbing her pussy at the same time. RCA, the king of anal poses. Brian comes in front of her, holding his shaft. Of course Sandra is more than willing to welcome him inside her too. So, she opens her legs wide enough and Brian sticks his rigid shaft into her wet silky slot. A wonderful full body RC DP ensues where Sandra looks and feels great. Both men apply some decent dipping pounding her holes hard. The horny brunette loves it and she even pets the front of Brian’s body thanking him this way for the pleasure he gives to her. Hot! Sandra becomes very loud…

What the f….Wait! What? Let’s raise the volume a bit… Suddenly were heard cries coming from outside. No! I don’t believe it! HAAAAAHAAAAHAAA. LOL and LOL again. This is fuckin’ incredible! HAAHAAHAA. It’s Chico Wang’s neighbor who is complaining about the noise. Unfucking belieavable! Only in a Chico's movie you are able to see this. Hillarious! After a short break the group is transferred into another room. They all start criticizing the unexpected event and talking about Chico neighbor's ignorance about anal sex loud crying results. Sandra offers herself to go and show him the effect personally. Oops! I hope for Chico's neighbor's sake to hear Sandra's cries and not his! Chico said that his neighbor threatened to call the Cops. Sandra doesn’t worry, she is very keen of taking them too. What have I told you. This girl is a man eating machine.

“Hey, I am Sandra Romain and I ve lost my passport. Do you want to marry me for visa? I will fuck with you if you want.” Those were Sandra’s exact words as she welcomes us back into the hard action. RCA briefly on Joel and Brian steps in to complete the DP. For once more Sandra's holes are filled with plenty of pure male flesh and she seems to adore every damn second of it. Now she can express her plesaure freely and her moanings echoed around the room. Another scorching DP feature by Chico who shots the hard event nicely. It gets extremely hot, not only because of the summer weather outside, but mainly beacause of the flesh burning action that takes place inside. Chico has to pour some water on them to comfort their job. She hops off and settles herself in all fours. Joel comes behind her and slides his pole in her anus. A fearsome anal reaming ensues and Sandra cries: "Ouou, yes! Fuck my mouth like this!". I guess Sandra got dizzy from the hammering she endures and confused her body orifices. Brian hears "mouth" and steps in front of her to occupy hers. The guys exchange ends and Brian comes in to smother his penis with her sphincter. Another swapping and Joel takes his friend's turn. Cut. There is an excellent anal missionary footage with Joel slamming Sandra's delectable bum. Joel is carried away by the rough banging and tries a little neck chocking too. I will try to overlook this due to the tension of the moment. Brian prongs her ass in the same way. Joel and Sandra are shot committing some wonderful spoon anal before the guys, one at a time leave their semen inside her mouth.


SCENE FIFTH. DILLAN LAUREN.


I love Dillan Lauren. She reminds me of a girlfriend in high school who facially looked exactly like her. Dillan is a very attractive brunette with beautiful green eyes and sexy busty silhouette.

We are outside.She is very thirsty, she haven’t drunk anything all day. She finds a water hose which was installed upon a fence.
Chico: I have a serious leak out here is this is enough to quench your thirst?
Dillan: Wow. I am not gonna be thirsty any more. Then Dillan tries a couple of drops…
Dillan: Mmm …wet! Says laughing.
Chico: You know water is supposed to be wet…
Dillan: Yeah? She responds ironically.
Chico: Are you still thirsty?
Dillan: Yes!
Chico: Well come down here… I have a whole sperm reservoir here.
Dillan: Ouou… my favorite beverage, spells snickering, making a fun out of the stupid dialogues we often hear at porn flicks.

Brian Surewood shows up, approaching her with his dick out. She kneels down and proceeds in taking him a nice blowjob. She make some slurping sounds as his dick enter her throat. God... Dillan has magnetic eyes. It's quite stimulating to stare her eyes as you ejaculate inside her mouth. Brian shares my thought and shoots his sperm load down her oral cavity. She opens her mouth to show us the cum and then she swallows it down. Nice girl!

She goes indoors after Chico points her the right direction. Before she goes in she lifts up her shorts and spanks her ass a couple of times. Nice! She lies upon a bed and presents us the tools which will utilize to quench her thirst. Pussy, ass and mouth. Cut. She is totally naked having Scott Nails big dick planted in her pussy in cowgirl style just seconds before Joel Lawrence comes behind her and taps her tight anal spot completing a fabulous DP. Her anal cavity sucks his pole like a vacuum cleaner. She has a nasty big tattoo on her back. Her big fleshy buttocks shake wonderfully with every stroke. Joel pulls out his pole for a proper mouth washing and pushes it back in her bum. Surely Dillan has a lot of meat in her holes but this girl is so lustful that she even fucks back. “Grab my fucking hips and pull my ass towards you!” A tempting close view of Scott long stick vanishing gradually in her tight asshole. Reverse cowgirl anal insertion which Chico shoots it initially from behind her. The camera moves in front of her and Joel steps forward to plug her pussy providing the inevitable DP. Holly molly! Tell me how can I call this DP? Spectacular? Fascinating? Breath taking? What else can you say if you are able to stare clearly the pretty face of Dillan, the entire attractive busty figure of hers and both of her lower orifices getting pummeled hard at once, all these in one shot? I am not a DP maniac, but watching some DP captures like this one Chico provides here I really can’t help not to become one. Scott ties Dillan with his arms from beneath in order to keep his huge cock safely buried in her rectum while Joel is furiously pumping away at her vagina from above. The guys show no mercy at her holes and Chico records excellently the event in many angles. Watching this fantastic dual drilling and hearing Dillan saying “I can imagine how much cum you build up to quench my thirst” with a trembling from sheer pleasure voice, is it possible not to… Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!
Now, where is that fuckin’ tissue…
(A few minutes break for a cold beer and a couple of cigarettes for relaxation).
You see what Chico and his performers made me do… and I have some duties to perform… I have a girlfriend you know...
Now, where was I?
Double cleaning and the double dicking continues in doggy pose. That means that Dillan is in all fours and both guys are behind her, fucking each of her holes at the same time. Rear position for DP and a little bit dangerous for homophobiacs. Not bad, not bad at all. Joel withdraws from her ass and goes for an ATM while Scott is still ripping her pussy. Furious doggy pounding while blowing Joel. Cut. Scot inserts his big pole in her ass in standing doggy and lifts her right leg up for our viewing benefit. Joel occupies her mouth until the men trade places. Joel drills her asshole in missionary whereas Scott cleans his cock with her lip sweeps. It’s time for a little spooning, the Hershel highway, where Scott nails her rectum for good. Dillan mounts Joel’s dick with her ass in the reverse manner. She takes him deep. Yeap, I adore RCA’s especially if Dillan is the one who performs it. Too bad it doesn’t live long, however Chico quickly eases my little discontent providing a very nice cowgirl anal shot as Dillan moves her big ass up and down on Scott’s long shaft. Our pretty brunette begs for a drink and the men satisfy her hunger by leaving their thick white loads in her mouth. She swallows ending a very very satisfying scene!

Gee now I got thirst! Easy folks, I just wanted a little water…


SCENE FIFTH. ALEXIS SUNSHINE.


Tony T and Scott Nails are sitting in a couch and there is a distance between them. Chico prompts them to sit closer but they rather keep insulting one another using some very funny phrases. Anyway, Tony announces that today these guys will make love to a pretty blonde from Florida named Alexis Sunshine. Alexis looks a bit like Melanie Griffith in her early movie years. Yes, the three of them will share some very romantic moments, full of tenderness and affection, probing Alexis’ mouth, pussy, and asshole at the same time. Wait a minute… one, two …math doesn’t work well so Brian Surewood offers himself to cover the arithmetic gap. With three throbbing penises working her in every hole, the sweet blue eyed girl will be more than happy.
(Tony didn’t know what goo mean)

Tony is the first to enter her “inner world” invading her slit in spoon. After a couple of strokes she asks him to move in her ass and Tony fulfills her request shoving his fat tool in her dirty crack without changing pose. Meanwhile Scott and Brian enjoy her oral cares. Scott goes behind her and stuffs her rear pipe in doggy. He lifts her leg up for our viewing benefit. Alexis rubs her pussy to endure the anal stretching. She sits in Scott’s pole taking him in her ass, the reverse cowgirl manner. Always nice to see! An anal standing doggy with Tony before Scott replaces him shagging her little bumhole in the same way. She mounts Brian for a brief RCA. Scott comes forth filling her exposed pussy for a lovely RC DP. Tony makes her airtight tapping her mouth. She cleans Brian’s pole and rides Tony 's meaty pole briefly in cowgirl. Scott comes behind her plugging her ass for the DP. A long cowgirl DP train occurs as Brian and Scott swap holes for a couple of times. The guys probe her ass hard. Then Tony lifts her body up while his dick is safely buried in her twat. Then Brian proceeds in providing the second stick for an exciting aerial DP. She tells us she has never done it before! Scott long organ replaces Brian in her ass and the dual dicking continues while she is still in the mid air. There are some minor shadow problems. Our sweet blonde commits a double blowjob on Scott and Tony, as Brian takes the chance to plug her ass in doggy. An attempt for a missionary DP is made but it doesn’t last long. Finally all the men one after the other left their seeds in her face and mouth. Lots of semen covers Alexis’ pretty face. Some of it lands in her eye and Tony as a good gentleman offers her to clean it out. One good word from me about Tony.

I find Alexis very sweet. An Ok mini gang bang scene to complete the title.

 

 

 


SUMMARY - EVALUATION


Ok, guys I love Chico Wang. I don’t know… he is different from the others. I ‘ve never get tired of watching his creations. Although many times the silliness flows plenty that funny discussions between him and the starlets, the way he hooks out information about their life, those incredible happenings that only in his movies can occur, that sarcastic and some times ironic humor of his are very amusing. He has created his own characteristic style in gonzo line which is not bad, not bad at all. Pornographically, I believe Chico is a very capable director. He can successfully set up and shoot a variety of quite difficult positions. Although sometimes his captures suffer from lighting problems most of the occasions he manages to produce amazing results. He is rather creative and proves it every time. His scenes are not very erotic but I am sure he can handle such scenes, because he has good sense of beautiness. You can expect everything from Chico.


GONZO TIME


TEN HUSBANDS

by Kimmi Lixx(ADT member)

A young man married a beautiful woman who had
previously divorced ten husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband,
"Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin".

"What?" Said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if
you've been married ten times?

"Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept
telling me how great it's going to be.

Husband #2 was in Software Services; he was never
really sure how it was supposed to function, but he
said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from Field Services; he said everything
checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get
the system up.

Husband #4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew
he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able
to deliver.

Husband #5 was an Engineer; he understood the basic
process but wanted three years to research, implement,
and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from Finance and Administration; he
thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was
his job or not.

Husband #7 was in Marketing; although he had a
product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychiatrist; all he ever did was
talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist; all he did was look at
it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector; all he ever did
was.. . God I miss him!

But now that I've married you, I'm so excited!"

"Good," said the husband, "but, why?"

"You're a Tax Man...... This time I KNOW I'm gonna get
screwed!!!

(would you all believe my longest lasting and most significant relationships have been with Engineers - that is just SO TRUE!)


STRING

by Kami(ADT member)

a piece of string walks into a bar and says
"Ill have a gin and tonic"
the bar tender says
"we don't serve no string in here"
the string is so mad he goes outside and gets all twisted up and his hair stands on end in a crazy fashion
he comes back in and says look here my good man i want a gin and tonic and i want it now
the bartender says
"hey aren't you that string?"
the string says
"no I'm a frayed knot"


THE STRING

by VincentVanGauge(ADT member)

I'm not a beautiful woman so I thought posting here is a good joke already.

An Austrian construction company hired a new subworker. At his first working day his boss saw how he threw away a nail, then drove the next one into the wall, threw three other nails away, drove the next two into the wall, and so on.
Boss: "Are you nuts? Why do you throw half the nails away? They're all new!"
Subworker: "I know, but some of them point in the wrong direction."
Boss: "Fool! These are for the other side of the house!"

 

PS1. Damn... if Sandra's lust was used as a weapon, she could easily destroy whole armies using only her ravenous holes. When her work would have finished the poor soldiers would be lying exhausted in dirt, almost drained of bodily fluids and Sandra would cry "Give more, more", searching for another possibe victim. Sandra could very well play the part of Dracula, only instead of blood she would drink sperm. Lots of it. She would be the only Vampire who would be glad to get impaled. A real nightmare for Van Helsing!

PS2. Chico asks Patricia what is called this in French, pointing her pussy. Patricia responds “vagine”. Chico asks again what is called this in French, pointing her ass. Patricia responds “mon cule”. Thankfully for him he omitted to say the phrase "One dick will go in "vagine" and the other in "mon cule" " which he usually does in similsr sitiuations. With the little French I know, "vagine" is the equivalent word for vagina and "mon cule" is actually translated as... my ass! So do the right substitution and figure out why he shouldn't spell that sentence. Really...guys we have to be very carefull of what we are saying these days, especially if two big dicked men are standing naked close to us!

PS3. Chico's recipie for a tasty ass sandwich:

You take a fresh generous white piece of tasty German bread, one more delicious slice of black healthy bread, a fat well warmed sausage and Voila you have the infamous Chico's “Ass sandwich”. The only sandwich in the world that when you consume it you lose calories instead of taking. It’s strongly suggested by all the dirty sex addict doctors of the planet. A scrumptious ass to mouth experience. Yummy! Don’t forget to add plenty of mayonnaise!


For any comments, questions or a little correspondance between sex addicts send me an e-mail at soulmessager@yahoo.com. Yes, I know it should have been soulmessenger but I did it on purpose.

 




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