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LA Pink: A XXX Porn Parody
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LA Pink: A XXX Porn Parody

Studio: Burning Angel
Category:  Alt-Porn , Comedy
Directed by:
Starring: , , , , , ,
Released on: 
Where to buy:DVD NewDVD RentStreaming/Download
Anime Nut's ratings for LA Pink: A XXX Porn Parody:
Overall Rating 4.5 stars
LA Pink: A XXX Porn Parody overall rating 4.5 stars
Female Looks LA Pink: A XXX Porn Parody Female looks rating 4.5 stars
Male Looks LA Pink: A XXX Porn Parody Male looks rating 4 stars
Sex LA Pink: A XXX Porn Parody Sex rating 4.5 stars
 
Plot/Acting LA Pink: A XXX Porn Parody Plot/Acting rating 4 stars
Extras LA Pink: A XXX Porn Parody DVD Extras rating 4.5 stars
Audio/Video Quality LA Pink: A XXX Porn Parody A/V Quality rating 4 stars
Worth$30.00
Rating Scale
Reviewed by Anime Nut  on  10/2/2009
Let me get this out of the way right now - I have never seen more than half an episode of LA Ink, and even less than that of the original series, Miami Ink. I am familiar with the main personality, Kat Von D, but only marginally so. And I couldn't name a single one of her employees if you put a gun to my head. All I know is it's a reality show about a tattoo shop in LA, heavily-tatted Kat Von D, her equally-inked associates, and their customers who occasionally happen to be celebrities.

Does one need to know any more than that to enjoy this porn parody? Absolutely not. Hell, you could go in thinking the TV series is a telenovela about fountain pen manufacturers, and you will still get all there is to get about LA Pink.

MAIN FEATURE

Even though I don't watch the TV series, I know enough to realize that LA Pink is not a traditional parody filled with impersonations and riffs on fan-fave plots. Joanna Angel's character is named Joanna Von Angel, which is a fairly obvious tip of the hat to Kat Von D. From what I've seen of Kat on TV, Joanna does an accurate portrayal of her goofy, giggly personality, and the performance is infectious in its wacky abandon and zest for life. However, the rest of Joanna Von Angel's crew is comprised of porn performers using their own porn names, not the spoof identities you'd see in a typical parody. As Joanna enters her shop, we meet assistant Misti Dawn (identified in the on-screen caption as "Shop Bitch"), and tattoo artists Andy San Dimas, CoCo Velvett, and Brian Street Team. Within minutes, we get a clear idea of everybody's personality. Misti is a submissive, shy, and nerdy type who gets zero respect from her co-workers and boss. Andy is the alpha female of the group, and CoCo is basically her sidekick. Brian represents the obligatory and clueless comic relief.

For the first hour or so, the movie follows a basic pattern: customer enters store, he or she tells a sob story about why they want a particular tattoo, and this eventually leads to one of the movie's eight sex scenes. During these moments, there's a running gag about Brian Street Team's inability to get any clients, male or female. Also, assistant Misti is repeatedly torn down by her co-workers. This would be 100% comedy if it weren't for the fact that Misti Dawn is absurdly adorable here. In a standout performance, Misti is so sweet and sympathetic that you feel a little anger whenever an insult is hurled her way. The story eventually introduces Draven Star as Nicole Sevvven, Joanna's rock star celebrity girlfriend. Nicole Sevvven is based on Motley Crue bassist Nikki Sixx, who appeared on LA Ink and is/was Kat Von D's boyfriend. Draven looks positively awesome in her 80's rocker get-up and ridiculous hairdo.

The main story arc of LA Pink revolves around Joanna's dealings with the CEO of Pizzy Party Inc, Sean Michaels. With the help of assistant James Deen, Sean wants to start a "celebrity-branded line of frozen pizzas", with Joanna Von Angel as its premiere spokesperson. The catch? In order to maintain the company's family-friendly reputation, Joanna and her employees will be prohibited from sexual activity of any kind. Given the shop's vast array of dildo displays and the occasional sex romps that occur during tattoo sessions, Joanna's decision could have serious ramifications on the future of her business and its staff.

LA Pink is a porn parody, which basically means two things: comedy and sex. Joanna Angel's screenplay is loaded with reality show cliches, running gags, and characters that get increasingly ridiculous as the running time elapses. And for the most part, it works. Even the jokes that start off lame (Brian Street Team's attempt to use the bathroom facilities while a meeting is in progress, on-screen captions during one sex scene that identify each position) eventually won me over with some hard-earned laughs. Credit the majority of the big laughs to the movie's star player (in every sense of the word), Sean Michaels. His gradual evolution from straight-laced businessman to possibly-insane dictator is so geniunely funny and over the top, you'll wish Sean would consider a career in sketch comedy whenever he decides to retire his porn shoes.

By the time the closing credits roll to "Anthem" by Shiragirl (gotta love the rockin' music in Burning Angel titles), I was struck with a realization that doesn't normally accompany the viewing of a porno: this movie is downright professional. Every aspect of its design is arguably superior to titles from the "bigger" studios (not naming names). The opening credits are clever and set up the wacky tone of the movie perfectly. Unlike most features, you can actually hear the dialogue loud and clear, no matter where the performers are in the room. Every character is used effectively and consistently - not just forgotten once they've finished their sex scene. And most of all, it's just really funny. Considering how many so-called "comedies" nowadays fail miserably to make the audience laugh, this is nothing to take lightly. Burning Angel has another solid title in its line-up, and writer-director Joanna Angel can expect more nominations come award season.

SEX SCENES

SCENE 1 - Joanna Angel
Approx. 9 min
Solo Girl

Though the tattoo shop is loaded with dildos of all shapes, colors, and sizes, this is the only scene in the movie that actually uses one. Joanna masturbates on the shop's roof - first with her fingers, then with a pink dildo in her pussy and ass. The movie's excellent camera work is made readily apparent here, with many good close-ups on Joanna's holes as they get fondled and filled.

SCENE 2 - Joanna Angel & Draven Star
Approx. 21 min
Girl/Girl

Taking place inside the confessional room (those dark rooms in every reality show where the cast members talk to the camera about whatever), Joanna and Draven attack each other's bodies in one very intense scene. I'll admit I'm not normally a fan of girl/girl scenes. Nothing against them, they just don't really do much for me. Well, I'll be the first to admit I'm wrong when faced with the vision of Joanna burying her face in Draven's pussy. Either Draven has the world's most sensitive clit and is prone to orgasms at the drop of a pin, or she is a hell of an actress. Every time she cums, Draven convulses in an awesome display of quivers and shudders, starting at her thighs and spreading out through her entire body. It's quite a thing to see. And hear, too. Her heavy breathing and high-pitched yelping are almost melodic in nature.

SCENE 3 - Andy San Dimas, CoCo Velvett, & EriK Everhard
Approx. 20 min
Boy/Girl/Girl

Erik plays a customer looking to get a tattoo of a parking ticket (don't ask). Andy and CoCo get assigned to do the job. The ensuing threesome action avoids the common trap of leaving one member with nothing to do. While Erik works one girl with his tongue, the other is attacking his cock. There's an infinite number of combinations, and this scene seems to use, oh, about all of them. Winning the prize for fiercest and most aggressive performer is Andy San Dimas, who unleashes some first-rate dirty talk while making wall-shaking fuck. Personal favorite: While eating CoCo's pussy, which has just been fucked by Erik, Andy delivers this prize tidbit: "Yeah, I like that damn fucking cock. That random fucking strange cock." Priceless. CoCo Velvett appears a little restrained here, but that may just be the unavoidable comparison with Andy San Dimas' primal energy.

SCENE 4 - Misti Dawn & James Deen / Joanna Angel & Sean Michaels
Approx. 57 min
Boy/Girl, Boy/Girl

The grand finale of Disc 1 is a dual sex scene that cuts back and forth between the action. The first pairing is Misti Dawn & James Deen in the front lobby of the tattoo shop. A series of voyeuristic camera angles capture an impressive number of standing positions for the horny pair. Either against the counter or the nearby walls, both performers manage to stay on their feet. When they finally move over to the couch, it's time for Misti Dawn's first anal scene. Watching it, I couldn't help but wonder if this was perhaps her very first anal fuck ever, on-screen or off. It takes almost forever for James to work the length of his cock into Misti's ass. Once he gets there, he remains motionless for another period of forever while Misti adjusts to her new position in life. Throughout all of this, I marvelled at James Deen's near-Yoda-like ability to sense Misti's pain and basically teach her how to take his cock up her ass in a safe and loving manner. Once he finally does begin stroking, Misti doesn't last long before she's begging for his cock in her pussy again. It's not the best anal scene I've ever witnessed. Hell, you could argue it's not very good, period. But look beyond the limited number of thrusts, and you have a pretty cool moment of zen, in which the porn pro schools the rookie in the ancient ways of buttfucking.

The other half of his multi-front assault belongs to Joanna Angel & Sean Michaels, who get it on in what is becoming a favorite set of Burning Angel movies: the bathroom. Theme of the scene: Sean Michaels loves to eat pussy. The sound of his sloppy lapping mixed with Joanna's giggly moaning is an audio adventure into Fantasyland. Joanna practically begs for the cock. Once she gets it, things get sweaty fast.

SCENE 5 - Joanna Angel, Sean Michaels, & James Deen
Approx. 26 min
Boy/Boy/Girl

"You guys wanna do some sex?" So says Sean Michaels in one of the funniest line deliveries of all time. The answer, obviously, is a resounding YES. The highlight here is Joanna getting DP'd by Sean and James, with both guys getting their turn at each hole. Despite taking place inside a stretch limo, the DP is well-shot and lit. Joanna steals the show with her enthusiastic handling of the boys' loads.

SCENE 6 - Andy San Dimas, CoCo Velvett, Draven Star, & Brian Street Team
Approx. 12 min
Boy/Girl/Girl/Girl Reverse Blowbang

Fueled by betrayal, vengeance, and a little bit of boredom, Draven Star (as Nicole Sevvven) leads Andy and CoCo on a mission to suck Brian Street Team's cock. Each of the girls playfully fight over Brian's meat, and he is only happy to succumb. In a moment of utter random silliness, Brian throws his arms out and declares, "I am Brian Street Team. Hear me roar!!!" This is followed by a prolonged battle cry as the girls go about their business.

SCENE 7 - Andy San Dimas, Misti Dawn, CoCo Velvett, & Draven Star
Approx. 21 min
Girl/Girl/Girl/Girl Orgy

With the action moving to a supermarket, the final hour of LA Pink goes for broke and pulls out all the stops. The festivities begin with this ridiculously magnificent lesbian orgy. The focus of attention here is Misti Dawn, who gets every inch of her body attacked by the other three girls, all at once. At one point, Misti throws a leg up, then Andy and CoCo tongue her pussy simultaneously, one from the front and the other from behind. If you've successfully pictured this in your head, you know that it is awesome. The foursome then divide and pair up for some serious sucking, licking, and fingering. Once again, Andy emerges as the power player. But Draven nearly steals the spotlight with her shuddering orgasms. I could watch this girl cum all day.

SCENE 8 - Joanna Angel, Andy San Dimas, Misti Dawn, CoCo Velvett, Draven Star, & James Deen
Approx. 28 min
Boy/Girl/Girl/Girl/Girl/Girl Orgy

This is it. Usually, by this point in a feature, we've already seen the best the movie has to offer. Not so here. The best is truly saved for last. Everybody brings their A game. Both CoCo and Misti fuck harder and wilder than they did in any of their previous scenes. But it's James who wins MVP honors here. From his masterful delegation of duties to each girl like a five-star general, to the unexpectedly hilarious moment in which he shoves a fruit display stand out of the way to make room for fucking Andy San Dimas - James Deen does it all here. My only complaint with this scene is its very chaotic nature, which results in some confused camera work. On several occasions, the camera loses sight of James' cock as it gets obscured by girls' heads and bodies. This is only a minor gripe once Joanna and the girls are showered with James' impressive load.

"EXTRA SHIT"

Disc 2's extra features are comprised of a 6-minute photo slideshow gallery of production stills, four Burning Angel trailers (Fuck Me in the Bathroom 3, The Joanna Angel Magical Threesome Adventure Experience, XOXO Joanna Angel, and Girls Girls Girls 2), website info, and - most importantly - a behind-the-scenes documentary.

Any fan of Burning Angel titles knows they consistently put out the best BTS docs. Attention, other studios: a repetitive and tedious series of one-on-one interviews with each girl does not make for an interesting BTS. Three in the Pink: The Making of LA Pink was shot and narrated primarily by Brian Street Team, and he does an outstanding job capturing the antics of a cast and crew that clearly enjoy their jobs. I've said it before and I'll say it again - the Burning Angel BTS docs are often as entertaining as (if not more than) the main feature. This time around the camera catches a variety of priceless moments: the tattoo shop besieged by power outages; cast and crew eating their catered lunch while James and Misti shoot their lobby sex scene (says Brian: "It's like a dinner and a movie"); James reveling in his role as Assistant Director, then explaining the difference between "straight double vag" and "gay double vag"; and Brian demonstrating the perils of trying to stand up right after a three-girl blowjob. Draven Star sums it up best during an interview: "There's a lot of shit in this movie." Damn straight.

FINAL RECOMMENDATION

Buy it. The DVD's slick packaging belongs in your collection. The slipcover is bright and colorful, with sexy portraits of the cast on one side, and a mini-poster of the girls undressed on the other side. Nearly all of the scenes have excellent rewatchability. All in all, this 2-disc set is well-worth the price of purchase.



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