"Yea, braa, I'll review dat movie for ya."
The following is T. Pitty's rappin' review of Brian Pumper's JUICY LATIN COOCHIE starring Brian Pumper and co-starring Paris Maine, Olivia O' Lovely, Luscious Lopez, Kate Cummings, Carmella Diamond, Laurie Vargas and a few other dudes that appeared in his movie.
There's PARIS MAINE and she's not itty bitty; in nets and a top she shows off her titties---Paintings on the wall at the top of the stairs; she bends her ass over and strokes it down there---Coming down the spiral, she meets her little friend; she sucks and strokes a rubber wiener end---She straddles that shaft and makes alotta noise; I bet yo' girl don't have this throbbin toy---Yo, put your toy away and get yo' ass inside; couple gangstas in there wanna take a wet ride---So, the fellas stick dicks deep down her throat; she leaves a wet lil' saliva coat.
On the couch, he sticks it in her twat; while his partner sticks it in her you-know-what (no, not in her butt)---She rides reverse cowgirl, that sure looks fun; she jumps off one prick and rides the other one---Shoulders on the floor and her pussy in the air; boys takes turns fucking her up there---He fucks her upright and rams it in; makes a silly face and hands her to his friend---Puts her on the couch and spreads her wide; grabs her legs and sticks it inside---Finally, a doggy ride and it's about time; she sucks the other dick, ah, fuck this lame rhyme---She yells "Oh Poppi" and cowgirl rides, he sticks finger in her butt's insides---Reverse cowgirl time, boy her has is red; she falls on the floor for some cumshots instead---One gooey mess on da right side of her face; she speaks some Spanish then kisses into space---TP TP TP outa TP TP TP TP TP---43 minutes
Here's OLIVIA O' LOVELY at the bottom of the stairs; she's got on jeans and spanks her cheek pair---She walks up the stairs with her ass hangin' about; she shakes it, it wiggles, ah, get out!---Her ass is so big it fills up the screen; looking so up close I wonder where it's been---She shakes her ass wearing some new threads; it's big and black made of spidey's web---10 minutes later, she's still shaking what she's got; for an "old" porn queen, Olivia's still hot---Finally, she shows off her spike heeled shoes; if my girl'd wear those, it'd be big news---A guy name Lex arrives on the scene; he tongues the spot his dick's set to reem---He sheds his clothes and gets a dick lube; rams it between her really big boobs.
He pierces her hole in the spider's web; he says "oh yea" so to her he's in debt---Hanging over the couch, her titties off the side; her ass in the air, "oh fuck yea " to that doggy ride---She sits on his dick and plays with her twat; he pounds her pussy but not her butt---He pussy greases his dick her butt like a spoon; he rams it in she screams like a loon---She lands on her knees and opens wide, Lex lands his jizz that covers her outside---TP TP 1/2---43 minutes
There's LUSCIOUS LOPEZ wearing a mesh pink thing; she puts her ass in the air and makes it sing---She booty shakes her cheeks to and fro; spreads her legs wide, baby it's a go!---She holds her heels and fingers her twat, she sucks her thumb, now show us what you got!---Change of clothes, says you watching "Juicy Latin Coochie;" she crawls up the step, at the top, taps her pussy---Into some jeans, she poses by the couch; she pulls down her drawers and lets her cheeks out---She spreads some oil all around her butt, says she's ready for a black dick strut.
Starts with a mish, then she sucks Brian's dick; he rams it down her throat and holds her tiny tits---More blowjob action, baby that's no surprise; she seems to enjoy it by the look in her eyes---Her ass like a spoon, we've seen this befo'; he rams it in but stays out the back do'---He spits on her clit and she rubs it in; it's nice juicy wet, he fucks her again---A cowgirl ride, on the side it's better; hope her pussy gets wetter and wetter---A dick sucking break, a hand job, too; she rides reverse cowgirl, big cheeks shake for you---More dick sucking her hands grab ahold; looks in the camera, says "I want you to fuck my asshole."
In the ass, she takes a real pounding; she lets fly words that are Spanish sounding---Drops to the floor and takes his cum; it lands in her her mouth so now she's done---TP TP TP---43 minutes
Here's KATE CUMMINGS in a jeans and a pink top; she feels around her ass, baby please don't stop---She's a super cute girl with a pierced right nipple; pours oil on her ass just like 'twas ripple---Pours oil on her boobs and mushes 'em together; goes inside from outa sunny weather---Says "I need some hard dick in this Latin pussy;" she gets on her knees and fingers her tushie---On a swing outside, she rocks back and forth; Brian grabs her tits for whatever it's worth---Lands on her knees for a shadowy cock suck; his dick's nice and hard, she has all the luck---Kate's only 19, why you in this flick?; on your knees, looking pretty, sucking Pumper's dick.
She tells her poppi, "comme fuck me doggy"; Pumper sticks it in her pussy nice and soggy---She spreads her cheeks, Pumper rams it in; Brian's bored so she sucks his dick again---Back inside, she rides cowgirl on the couch; says it's good, the rams in her pussy pouch---Pumper stands tall and fucks her in the air, his cock rams hard in her pussy so bare---Riding reverse cowgirl, hey, there's a smacking sound; climbs on the floor, sucks dick, kneeling on the ground---She climbs on again, pussy pounded, legs spread; climbs off again and sucks on his head---Leg in the air, her body on the side; he spits in her hole so his dick can glide---Her ass like a spoon, that move again?; they gaze at each other like they're long lost friends---Her legs spread wide Pumper sucks her twat, he sticks his dick in, she fingers her clit alot---Her reaction shot, so beautiful, too brief; a spread eagle pussy pounding, the best shot, his belief---More mishing, more gagging, will it ever end?; Don't fret there's more, another disc, my friend---TP TP 1/2
Disc 2 of JUICY LATIN COOCHIE
There's CARMELLA DIAMOND, LAURIE VARGAS at the do'; they're invited inside to act like a ho'---No panties on underneath tiny skirts; who are these girls? They looka like tiny squirts---The chicas stop at a fountain and suck on their titties; Laurie's are large, Carmella's itty bitty---In the kitchen, gently kissing, Laurie says' she's " so horny"; the girls spread their legs, situation so porny---The girls strut their stuff goin' room to room; in the corner, there's Brian, shaft stiff lika broom---Dressed to the nines, Brian drops his drawers; the girls sucks his dick, their knees stuck to the floor.
Pumper doggy-fucks Carmella on the bed; he stops so Laurie'll suck his head---She jumps on the bed and spreads 'em wide; Pumper want's Laurie's pussy, he sticks it inside---Brian's half dressed, like he's got some place to go; but two asses on the bed, his clothes land on the flo'---His dick switches back and forth from pussy to pussy; their butts look fine with one white, one dark tooshie---Time to ride like naked cowgirls they do; their butts shake and bake, what a butt shakin' crew---Carmella so white, reverse cowgirl she rides; Laurie hops on, her pussy spread wide---Those lips, those boobs, Laurie's a fox; Carmella stops to suck then sticks it in her box---More of the same, will they try something new?; Brian pumps with the strength of ten Brians X 2---He spits in Carmella's pussy then fucks on his side; bored he finds Laurie's pussy for his prick to hide---Mish fucking time at the corners of the bed; the girls take a pounding a few breaks to give head---Upon the floor, the girls are done with humpin'; so Brian gives them a little somethin' somethin'---The girls yank on his shaft and suck with glee; Laurie's tired of waiting, maybe she has to pee---Brian drops his load on both girls' lips; they look at each other and end with a kiss---TP TP 1/2
That's a rap, so we move on to the cumshot re-cap; so we get another look at Brian's dumbass blue hat.
Chillin on the stairs, with her butt crack open; MENAGE A ROZ is ready for pokin'--Oils up her ass cheeks and the oil drips down; she crawls up the stairs and shakes dat ass around---
At this point in the disc, T. Pitty had had enough especially when Pumper interrupted Menage's scene to sing a 2 minute video, 'Betcha Didn't Know.' So, this is T0MBOne reporting that Pumper and Rico Strong double up on Menage A Roz for some straight sex fucking on a pink couch. The dudes take turns landing cumshots on her shiny ass, and, as a matter of fact, all asses are a bit to shiny in this 30 minute bonus scene from BIG WET ROUND BOOTYS & ILL FLOWS. There's also a 30 minte BTS with Pumper shaving Kate's pussy a highlight. How about 20 Brian Pumper trailers? A 5 minute photo gallery.
As expected, these scenes went on way too long. I recommend tighter scenes and one disc of action intead of these really long scenes and a bunch of extras on the second disc. Concentrate on making one really great disc so that we reviewers do not have to endure these DVD sets that are longer than The Godfather...X 2 Final rating for JUICY LATIN COOCHIE (2009, Evil Angel) is !! 1/2 or TP TP 1/2