"Jane Bond Meets Octopussy" (Caballero / Jack Remy) is a fun and clever porn flick from yesteryear that features the legendary Amber Lynn as Jane Bond and Kristara Barrington as her lesbian arch-nemesis, Octopussy... hence the title. In this one, Kristara has employed the evil scientist, Porsche Lynn, to develop lasers for her that—when used on a female subject—render the victim a sex-crazed nymphomaniac, incapable to thinking of anything but her own sexual desires. Of course, Kristara has world domination on her mind and intends to use the devices on a small city’s population, so it’s up to Amber and her fellow agents (Blondi and Randy West) to stop her. What results is an enjoyable adult film that features some hot boinking and that doesn’t take itself too seriously, all the while providing a loose, tongue-in-cheek parody of the popular, mainstream spy series of a similar title.
In terms of the sex, Scene One finds Amber Lynn in a fancy bedroom and clad in pink lingerie. She’s looking in top form as she fingers herself and then employs a gold-tipped vibrator in this quickie of a sequence. Up next (Scene Two), Amber—who’s in the process of infiltrating Kristara’s evil organization—gets it on with bad-guy Gary Vann in a romp that kicks off in an office and then moves to a decked-out (by 80s standards) bedroom. The blowjob and hand-job work in this one is intense, and the vaginal positions that are employed are sexy. This short-but-sweet segment closes out with a pop-shot delivered to Amber’s thigh and pelvis, which is then followed up by a reinsertion in a spoon position and a bit more fucking—hot stuff!
Scene Three pairs up Kristara Barrington and Porsche Lynn in Porsche’s office at the evil lair. Porsche’s wearing a lab coat with sexy black lingerie underneath, while Kristara has on an Asian-themed red dress, concealing only her stark nudity. Of course, a lesbian tryst ensues, with Kristara pleasuring Porsche with both her fingers and tongue and also a flesh-colored dildo. This one is also short, but it’s decent. In Scene Four, Blondi (an undercover “agent”—actually a file-clerk who has been mistakenly assigned) has an outdoor encounter with Tony Montana (a drug lord associate of Kristara’s who’s in on her nefarious plot). Blondi—who starts out in a sexy, shiny-red outfit—is looking great in this one, and the sex that ensues is scorching. From the blowjob work through the various vaginal positions, this is some hot stuff. A load dropped on Blondi’s bush and pussy—which she then smears all over—finishes off this exceptional affair…nice!
Scene Five involves a three-way featuring Lorie Lovett, Mauvais DeNoir, and Randy West. Randy is Amber’s back-up who gets snagged by the two horny (to put it lightly) ladies who have been hit by the lasers. Lorie and Mauvais both start out in sexy yellow “spacey” outfits (for lack of a better descriptor), and Lorie’s pale hue with Mauvais’ darker one provides a nice contrast in skin tones throughout the segment. Before all is said and done, both ladies give Randy a ride, and he pops on Mauvais’ ass and back out of a doggie-style position…with Lorie immediately providing some substantive oral cock clean-off. In Scene Six, Amber gets it on with the already-spent Randy in an office after saving him from the two nymphos in the prior sequence. Fortunately, Randy’s a top-of-the-line performer, and he is still able to put forth a strong performance with Ms. Lynn. The blowjob and hand-job work—which has always, in my opinion, been one of Amber’s strongest attributes—is hot, and the various vaginal positions that follow are all quite sexy. To close out this excellent endeavor, Amber jerks Randy to a pop on her tummy—sweet! (…or is it salty?... you’d have to ask Amber…)
For the finale (Scene Seven), Kristara Barrington gets it on with Gary Vann after Amber uses the laser on her as a means of escaping from her evil clutches. Apparently, the laser is more powerful than anyone thought, as it instantaneously turned Kristara from being a man-hating lesbo into a sex-crazy heterosexual. The romp that ensues is a good one and involves some solid vaginal positions, prior to finishing off with a cum-shot on Kristara’s bush and pelvis…which is then followed up by a reinsertion and some continued fucking by the pair. Of course, Amber ultimately saves the day, and Kristara is taken into custody…to be held accountable for her evil deeds.
Bonus-wise, there isn’t a lot here. Given the age of the original release, this isn’t surprising, however. There’s a “Photo Gallery” that plays through a slideshow of stills from the production, and there’s a “Catalog” option that puts forth a slideshow of box covers. There’s also an advertisement for the Caballero “Website”, and there’s an “XXX” option that puts forth a variety of phone sex ads and the like. That’s all…(though some of the phone sex material is actually quite sexy).
In all, this one’s worth a watch for those who are into old-school porn flicks, the spy genre, and / or are fans of Amber Lynn. The action is generally quite hot, and the intentionally-cheesy plot is a lot of fun. If this all appeals to you, check it out. It’s worthy.
The opinions expressed in this review of Jane Bond Meets Octopussy from Caballero are not necessarily the opinions of Adult DVD Talk. Adult DVD Talk provides a public forum for consumers to post their DVD reviews. Adult DVD Talk does not edit these reviews.