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Internal Affairs (Wicked)

Internal Affairs (Wicked)

Studio: Wicked
Category:  Comedy , Couples , Feature film
Directed by:
Starring: , , , , , , , , , , ,
Released on: 
Where to buy:DVD NewDVD RentStreaming/Download
MLyons's ratings for Internal Affairs (Wicked):
Overall Rating 3.5 stars
Internal Affairs (Wicked) overall rating 3.5 stars
Female Looks Internal Affairs (Wicked) Female looks rating 3.5 stars
Male Looks Internal Affairs (Wicked) Male looks rating 3 stars
Sex Internal Affairs (Wicked) Sex rating 3 stars
Plot/Acting Internal Affairs (Wicked) Plot/Acting rating 4 stars
Extras Internal Affairs (Wicked) DVD Extras rating 3 stars
Audio/Video Quality Internal Affairs (Wicked) A/V Quality rating 4.5 stars
Rating Scale
Reviewed by MLyons  on  11/5/2005
Internal Affairs: From the Files of Valley 911

Mike Lyons Reviews    

Jonathan Morgan

Stormy Daniels, Julia Ann, Brooke Haven, Kelly Tyler, Alana Evans, Venus, Chris Cannon, Jack Lawrence, Lee Stone, Randy Spears, Stephen St. Croix, Tommy Gun, Michael Raven (Non-sex).


All Male / Female Scenes have Condoms

Running Time of Main Feature
1 Hr. 23 Mins.

Female Orgasms

Anyone looking for a quick story with a few laughs and some decent (and sometimes a little nasty) sex.

Anyone looking for excessive anal sex, and anyone who wants to avoid anal sex entirely.

I believe this to be a sequel to Jonathan Morgan's earlier police comedy, Valley 911.  I myself haven't seen the original, but I'm figurin' that's probably not critically important.  Here's what I also figure.  I figure, Stormy, Kelly Tyler, and Alana Evans are gonna turn me on--just by being them.  I figure there's going to be all kinds of fun-poking at the stereotypical police drama, and maybe a few direct inter-textual references to boot.  And I figure, I'm gonna get a few good belly-laughs out of this, if only for the fact that Jonathan Morgan directed it.  Beyond that though, my figurin' is kind of inconclusive at this point.  Let's solidify some of the variables, and then we'll do some more figurin'...

Two internal affairs officers (Michael Raven and Alana Evans) are investigating the Valley 911 police squad for... oh a wide variety of questionable activities.  One of them unnecessarily tackled a defenseless Santa.  Another one (Stormy Daniels) has been insisting on standard issue CD Players for the police cars, even while she's crashing them.  Tommy Gun moonlights as a ineffectual security guard who works at locations that are regularly burglarized thanks to his propensity for accepting bribes.  And finally, Julia Ann is accused of running some kind of on-the-side prostitution business.  How DARE they suggest such a thing! 


Scene 1 - Julia Ann & Randy Spears

Julia looks freakin' beautiful here.  She's in a boob-showin', legs that go for miles, "we're not gettin' any policin' done today"  uniform and is negotiating a date with her "friend" Randy Spears.  She wants him to take her to dinner first--or at least give her the money he would spend on dinner for her.  After extracting the equivalent of a four star meal from Randy's wallet, she attacks him in a cushy orange chair in the middle of an opulent living room.  Did I mention how good Julia looks?  For those who don't know her (where have you been?), Julia is a pretty blonde, more mature than most of the teenagers who work in today's porn, and certainly has a more developed sexual performance style to match.  Julia slowly rids herself of her clothes and weapons and then gives Randy a blowjob.  She then mounts him reverse cowgirl, and her killer legs just go on forever.  He pumps into her doggy style, then missionary, and then he plops a nice lookin' load on her chin and lips (although his head obscures the shot for a critical instant during his initial release).  The scene is nothing world shaking or anything, but it's a solid effort, and those who like Julia Ann will not likely be disappointed in how she looks here.

Internal affairs decides to launch a full investigation, and the send Mrs. Whiteford (Alana Davis) to observe and issue a report with recommendations.  She decides to accompany Officer Woczechowski (Jack Lawrence) on patrol, when he finds a guy dressed up as a banana doing whatever he's doing without a license.  This quickly degenerates into gratuitous police brutality and Mrs. Whiteford (Alana) tries to stop it.

Meanwhile, the Sergeant (Stephen St. Croix) is on patrol with Officer Daniels (Stormy).  They show up at the door of Tabitha (Brooke Haven) and Bob (Lee Stone) investigating a noise complaint.  The couple assumes they are strippers, or even hookers, who are only dressed as police officers.  Seeing the naked women wandering around, the Sergeant decides they should stay for further "investigation."


Scene 2 - Stormy Daniels, Brooke Haven, Stephen St. Croix & Lee Stone

Stormy is... well... Stormy.  She's a very pretty, and very busty blonde, and one of Wicked's great contract girls (now turned writer and director).  She looks great here, as usual.  Brooke is an ok looking dirty blonde, but I can't say that she does a whole lot for me.  She does seem to bring some nasty to the table, with a partial deep throating abilities as she attacks Stephen's cock.  Meanwhile, Stormy gets aggressively licked by Lee Stone, and then both girls ride their respective partners reverse cowgirl side by side on the couch.  I enjoy watching Stormy much more than Brooke, but both girls demonstrate some good energy.  They both switch to cowgirl, and then Lee picks Stormy up and bounces her up and down on his cock with pure muscle.  A couple more positions follow before Stormy takes a great facial from Stephen, and Brooke takes a just-ok one from Lee.  Another good scene, but again, nothing that I would really call spectacular.

In another part of town, Officer Woczechowski (Jack Lawrence) is involved in a sting operation to nail prostitutes... and then arrest them for being naughty.  He dresses in a pretty hysterical reggae getup, complete with blonde dreadlocks.  When Venus arrives, she instantly sees through his disguise.  Mrs. Whiteford (Alana Evans), and Officer Marino (Tommy Gun) are witnessing this whole debacle on a remote camera until his partner disables it.  Apparently the camera isn't that remote, though.  Officer Marino excuses himself from the internal affairs officer and quickly goes to join his partner and get some pussy.


Scene 3 - Venus, Tommy Gun & Jack Lawrence

Venus is in a purple polka-dotty slut uniform, with a purple scrunchie in her hair and black fishnet stockings on her legs.  She looks pretty good when she gets on her knees to service the two men's cocks.  This moves quickly into a few vaginal positions while she sucks the odd man out.  She also takes it up the ass in the reverse cowgirl and missionary positions, and looks suitably cheap and nasty doing it.  It's all absolutely my kinda filth--even if Venus isn't quite my kind of girl.  She takes one facial, and one unconfirmed load into her mouth at the end, and I thought this was another really solid scene with some good anal action.  It certainly worked for me.

Venus manages to get out of the situation without the arrest, but then there's some misunderstanding when Officer Daley (Julia) shows up to turn a trick with the reggae guy.  She realizes her mistake, and then thinks it's a birthday party.  Meanwhile this is all caught on camera, and it's all pretty damned funny.

We don't know how that resolved itself, but we do know that later on Officer Daniels (Stormy) and Officer Daley (Julia) pull over a suspected drunk driver.  They give him a sobriety test, which he easily passes, but well... Officer Daniels fails.  They don't believe his sobriety, so Officer Daley asks him to mimic a sexy dance for her.  She dances, and then... well he dances.  It's pretty funny.  They eventually decide to arrest him anyway because they're Valley 911 girls--incompetence is what they DO.

Anyway, Mrs. Whiteford is now out with the Sergeant (Stephen St. Croix).  He finds himself a couple that are about to copulate within 100 miles of school zone, and boy are they gonna get it!


Scene 4 - Kelly Tyler & Chris Cannon

The first (and last) time I saw the delectable Kelly Tyler was in Service Animals #10 and I remember really liking her.  That was quite a while ago, but I don't expect I'll like her any less here.  She looks as beautiful as ever, with a sexy, somehow elegant face and a great body.  She drops to her knees in a dark alley and sucks his cock.  The sergeant gleefully videotapes the proceedings while Kelly stands up, bends over and gets her shaved pussy fucked.   She turns around for a little more, and then Chris cums on her tits.  This is another good, but not great scene.  The mood is great, and Kelly looks yummy, but it's a little too limited in scope to get me too excited.

All the while, the sergeant is all about taping it while fueling his own arousal with a string of hysterical dirty talk that makes poor Mrs. Whiteford very uncomfortable.  He "arrests" them, which is his word for "takes a bribe", and Mrs. Whiteford is all but ready to send the entire squad down the river for good.

Back at the station, though, the squad comes up with a plan to keep her quiet.  Officer Marino (Tommy Gun) tries to seduce her, but is soundly rebuffed.  They decide she must be a lesbian, so they send in their ringer, who also happens to be the resident moonlighting hooker.


Scene 5 - Julia Ann & Alana Evans

Officer Daley (Julia Ann) goes into seduce Mrs. Whiteford (Alana), and well, she succeeds.  The two of them slowly strip each other down, and then the licking and fingering commences--first for Julia and then for Alana, who unfortunately has her honey-blonde hair up in a bun the whole time.  The two of them engage in a sort of face to face mutual fingering session that looks pretty good and that moves into the inevitable pussy grind.  Unfortunately this is all pretty well lost on me, but both of them show good enthusiasm and look good the whole time.

Although Mrs. Whiteford has no intention of cutting the squad any slack, despite her little playtime with Officer Daley, the squad uses their nearly patented underhanded tactics to change her mind.

I don't know about you, but I'll sleep a lot better knowing that the squad of Valley 911 is going to survive to sully the good name of law enforcement for a long time to come.



Bonus Sex Scene with Julia Ann & Cheyne Collins from  Valley 911: 12 Mins.
All Access: The Making of Internal Affairs: 24 Mins.  This particular behind the scenes feature is heavy on the interview footage, especially with the new girl--Brooke Haven.  She's very cute, and she also seems very nervous, but it's interesting hearing her perspective as someone who's relatively new to the industry.  In general the making of is on the more serious side, which is kind of odd for a Jonathan Morgan feature.  Regardless, it's certainly worth watching.  It's a Wicked behind the scenes segment.  They're ALWAYS worth watching.
Trailers: The Collector, One Man's Obsession, Road Trixxx, Shameless, Secrets of the Velvet Ring, Wicked Sex Party #7.
Photo Gallery
Star Galleries
Star Stats

::Working the adding machine with the green visor--staring intently at the long string of numbers he's faced with::

Alrighty.  I'm figurin' this is a pretty good effort by Jonathan Morgan.  It certainly was funny--very funny in a few places, and I enjoyed that aspect of it.  The sex itself was quite good, actually, with five solid scenes that each had their moments.  The highest marks in the nasty department go to Venus' anal scene with Tommy Gun and Jack Lawrence.  The cast of this one comes in with lower approval numbers than I would have liked, but really that's just a matter of personal taste and a difficult variable to quantify.  They all put in high scoring performances, and any fan of the individual girls will surely get something out of their work here.  I would recommend this one to anyone who wants a wacky story with a few laughs alongside some pretty decent sex.  It wasn't enough to make me go wow, but according to my figures here, it's certainly worth a rental when your in the mood for a little pornographic comedy. 

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