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How To Fuck Like a Porn Star

Studio: Exquisite Pleasures
Category:  Instructional
Directed by:
Starring: ,
Released on: 
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astroknight's ratings for How To Fuck Like a Porn Star:
Overall Rating 1 star
How To Fuck Like a Porn Star overall rating 1 star
Female Looks How To Fuck Like a Porn Star Female looks rating 4.5 stars
Male Looks How To Fuck Like a Porn Star Male looks rating 2.5 stars
Sex How To Fuck Like a Porn Star Sex rating 2 stars
 
Plot/Acting How To Fuck Like a Porn Star Plot/Acting rating 1 star
Extras How To Fuck Like a Porn Star DVD Extras rating 1 star
Audio/Video Quality How To Fuck Like a Porn Star A/V Quality rating 2 stars
Worth$5.00
Rating Scale
Reviewed by astroknight  on  4/7/2006

The Little Details

Running Time: 64 min.

Production Date: 8 / 31 / 2005

Director: John Village

Cast: Lauren Phoenix, Talon, and a blonde

The Short Story

Initial Expectations: Hmmmmmmm. This one really has me curious. I’m not sure if this is a serious instructional release or a comedy.

Initial Reaction: It’s a joke, and not the funny kind.

Who Should Watch It : Extreme Lauren Phoenix fans and Lauren Phoenix herself

Who Should Avoid It: Anybody looking for sexual instruction

The Technical Stuff

Audio /Video Quality: The technical aspects are a bit of a mixed bag. The audio is very well done. It’s nicely balanced and clear, and I don’t think I heard a single background noise. The video, however, lacks quite a bit. It all nicely lit and thankfully doesn’t have any camera motion to interfere with it, but it varies from being a little too much on the soft side to looking like it was shot with beer goggles.

Music: There’s some soft music through almost the entire release that’s very nicely done.

Menus: The main menu is okay, and gives you a decent still of Lauren with a little animation and the choices. The chapter menu is nicely done, and lets you choose a chapter based on the subject and a small clip of the chapter.

The Feature

After winning the AVN Performer of the Year, Lauren Phoenix has decided that she knows all about sex. Here you can watch her fuck as she passes on some of her knowledge.

Scene 1 - Lauren Phoenix and Talon

Lauren starts things out stroking Talon a bit and talking about how different guys can like different techniques to get them ready. She works her oral magic around his cock while talking a little about some of the techniques and the importance of enjoying what you’re doing. Lauren covers the importance of paying attention to your partner’s body language as she takes Talon into her throat, and mixes in a fair amount of dirty talk. She talks about how you can fuck the guy’s cock with your face or he can fuck your face, and finishes things up with a good facial.

This is a pretty good oral sex sequence, or more to the point, blowjob sequence. Lauren gives some decent tips, and gets into the cocksucking very well. Talon keeps quiet through it, and they both look to be having a good time. Talon’s keeping quiet was easily the biggest problem with the scene. Sex is always a two-way street (at the very least), and everybody’s body is different. To have an instructional styled release that’s as one-sided as this makes it seem very limited and Lauren very egotistical. This is a decent primer to cocksucking, but I doubt it’s going to give anybody any new information unless they’re completely clueless when it comes to sucking cock. Sadly, this might be the best section in the entire movie.

Scene 2 - Lauren Phoenix and a blonde

Erotic foreplay is covered next, with Lauren starting things out kissing a hot blonde and running her hands around her tits. Lauren lets the blonde lie back as she kisses and licks her way down her tits and stomach to work on her pussy. She talks about the pussy and clit while licking it, and demonstrates adding a little finger play. Lauren moves on with a little toy play, and continues to work her over with tongue and fingers until the scene fades out.

This is an okay at best scene. Lauren once again gives some basic comments, but nothing too technical or beyond very basic sexual knowledge. Once again Lauren does all the talking, which really holds back this section. With every pussy being different and every woman liking a little different touch, her keeping her partner quiet leaves this scene feeling like it’s just about Lauren eating and playing with pussy. I also found the section lacking overall. Personally, I’ve always thought that erotic foreplay was about a lot more than working on a pussy with tongue, fingers, and toys, but that’s all Lauren wants to cover here. This scene is more about watching Lauren work on a cute blonde than anything else.

Scene 3 - Lauren Phoenix and Talon

Lauren covers sexual positions with the help of Talon next. They start out kissing by a fire before Lauren moves through missionary, both cowgirls, and doggie. She keeps going with a bit of spooning and standing before it fades out without a pop.

This is another disappointing segments. Lauren talks a little about each position as she has Talon fuck her in them, but rarely covers more than how a cock feels in her pussy with the selected position. She doesn’t cover anything like the physical limitations for different positions or many advantages of each position. This scene doesn’t really cover much more information about sex positions than you’d get from watching the average porno scene.

Scene 4 - Lauren Phoenix, a blonde, and Talon

Lauren starts talking about anal sex with the blonde on all fours across her lap. She talks about how a nice massage can lead to anal sex before fingering the blonde’s ass and working on it with a small buttplug. She switches to Talon to get fucked in the ass doggie style and in reverse cowgirl before letting him spoon her ass and fuck it missionary style. Finally, they finish things up with Lauren talking about cleanliness rather than taking a pop.

This is another loser of a section due to Lauren’s ego. The height of her knowledge seems to end at you should be comfortable and take things slow, but that seems to be where it ends. She doesn’t cover things like having fingernails trimmed, maybe starting with a rubber glove to make sure things are extra smooth, and that for almost everybody anal isn’t going to be something that’s going to go nice and easy for the first time. She barely even touches on the importance of lubrication and doesn’t cover things like which positions work best for anal as a beginner and why or letting the woman have control pushing back at first so that she can be as comfortable as possible. Heck, she doesn’t even mention that reverse cowgirl is a fairly advanced anal position that should be tried with a fair amount of experience. This is one of the worst instructional type scenes for anal sex I think I’ve ever seen.

How to Fuck Like a Porn Star! might be the worst instructional release I’ve watched so far. Yes, Lauren knows how to fuck and has done so in front of the camera in hundreds of movies. Unfortunately, that and a few awards seem to have gone to her head more than a lot of sexual knowledge beyond “stick bolt A in hole B or C”. She seemed oblivious to everybody’s body being different or even some basic anatomy, which really comes out in the anal section. Having others there to help with the scenes but not letting them talk made the already limited information seem even more limited, as well as not putting Lauren in the best light.

How to Fuck Like a Porn Star! doesn’t even come close to covering a lot of what’s on the cover. There’s no secrets revealed here that haven’t been discovered by a couple of teenagers in the back seat on a deserted dirt road or side street more than twice. There’s also nothing here to cover lasting longer, triple orgasms, or tips for better orgasms. The cover says Lauren will talk about having daily anal orgasms, but in the movie she says that anal orgasms are very rare and makes no suggestions on how to find them. The information covered in this movie is generic and basic at best.

How to Fuck Like a Porn Star came off more as an ego trip for Lauren than an actual instructional release, and there’s no way I think I could recommend this to anybody who came to me looking for a recommendation for an instructional release. If you’re looking for an instructional release, skip How to Fuck Like a Porn Star! and instead look at some of the releases from the Sinclair Institute, Alexander Institute, or the instructional releases put out by Nina Hartley (who combines years of sexual experience with a RN). If you’re interested in the anal aspect, don’t even think of this one and instead check out The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex For Women and its sequel. How to Fuck Like a Porn Star! is a sad joke of an instructional release that seems more interested in stroking Lauren’s ego than teaching about sex.

The Extra Stuff

The only extra is about twenty five minutes of sex with Lauren taking on Talon and the chick from the movie. It’s basically just a collection of shots from the movie with Lauren taking a facial added on at the end. I’m not really sure what makes this a “bonus feature” as it’s listed in the menu, as the only thing that appears to be new is the pop shot at the end.

The Down -n- Dirty Sex Stuff

Themes: Straight, instructional, oral, lesbian, toys, and anal

Raincoat Factor: High

Condom Usage: None

The Bottom Line:

Currently, many of EXP’s DVDs can be found online for between about $15 and $25 with most stores offering them for around $20. Rent this one first or aim very low. Lauren comes off as being extremely egotistical and passes on very little actual knowledge. The technical aspects are weak, and there isn’t really any effort put into the extras. This is a dud of a DVD.

Note to Sunset Media: I hope you’re not planning to make a series out of this. In the future, giving credit to the performers would be a good thing to do, especially when you give credit to darn near everybody involved except Talon and the blonde chick.

If you have any questions or comments, please e-mail me .

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