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Here Comes the Bride (Cal Vista Classics)

Here Comes the Bride (Cal Vista Classics)

Studio: Cal Vista Classics
Category:  Classic , Feature film
Directed by:
Starring: , , , , , , ,
Released on: 
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T0MBOne's ratings for Here Comes the Bride (Cal Vista Classics):
Overall Rating 3.5 stars
Here Comes the Bride (Cal Vista Classics) overall rating 3.5 stars
Female Looks Here Comes the Bride (Cal Vista Classics) Female looks rating 3.5 stars
Male Looks Here Comes the Bride (Cal Vista Classics) Male looks rating 2.5 stars
Sex Here Comes the Bride (Cal Vista Classics) Sex rating 3 stars
Plot/Acting Here Comes the Bride (Cal Vista Classics) Plot/Acting rating 3.5 stars
Extras Here Comes the Bride (Cal Vista Classics) DVD Extras rating 2.5 stars
Audio/Video Quality Here Comes the Bride (Cal Vista Classics) A/V Quality rating 3 stars
Rating Scale
Reviewed by T0MBOne  on  4/15/2009
VCX has re-released John Christopher's HERE COMES THE BRIDE (1978, Metro) as part of its digitally remastered Cal Vista Classic series, which debuted in 2008. The picture quality of this 73 minute standard frame presentation looks great and it sounds fine.

HERE COMES THE BRIDE starts with credits flipping to the strains of a wretched sounding organ playing the tune of the same name. This film introduces Samantha Fox as Rhonda, a married gal with a history of keeping her sexual trysts a secret from her doltish husband, Tom, played by David Morris. Written directed and edited by Jon Christopher, HERE COMES THE BRIDE reveals a series of xxx comedic flashbacks as Rhonda and Tom sit by the fire and reminisce about how they met, their first date, Rhonda's bridal shower, their wedding day and their wedding night. Many of these flashbacks feature some of Rhonds'a extra curricular sexcapades with accompanying disco songs that are a real hoot and something one would expect from a film made during the height of the Saturday Night Fever craze.

"We made a beautiful couple"---Rhonda (Samantha Fox)and Tom (David Morris) get things off to a quick start as the couple suck and fuck by the fireplace. There's a nice over head shot of the duo mish fucking, then the scene ends with a cumshot on the tummy, and a quick dick suck and kiss from sexy Samantha in a blue night gown---!!!

"Remember when we first met"---In a flashback, the duo meet while Tom shovels snow. Rhonda invites him in for hot chocolat but that's all he gets as Rhonda says she's saving herself for her husband and sends him on his his way. Later, two horndogs show up and she explains how someone of husband material was just there. Then, the duo double up on Rhonda ina standing doggie/ blowjob combination. Samantha Fox looks great receiving a facial, strange mix of yee-ha and rock music detracts from this short but solid sex scene---!!! 1/2

"I thought you'd never call"---In another flashback at the drive-in, Rhonda keeps her virgin pose intact by avoiding Tom's advances in the front seat. Horny Rhonda exits the car while a couple (Erica Havens & Richard Stevens) suck each other's twat and dick in the back seat. Rhonda finds a lonely guy (Joey Silvera) and sucks his dick in the shadowy confines of his front seat. Menwhile, Tom gets worked up watching the couple in the back seat, which leads to his yanking his crank and dropping a small load on top the fresh popcorn in a round bucket, which Rhonda tastes upon her return. It's a fun sequence filmed inside dark vehicles with accompanying "keep it up baby" disco tune---!!!

"The things you put me through"---Tom wants to know what happened at her bridal shower. Rhonda won't tell but another flashback reveals overhead shots of a bunch of guys raining on their bridal shower, including the lonely guy from the drive-in. What follows is a well-lit orgy sequnce with Samantha Fox paired up with Erica Havens among a bunch of couples sucking and fucking. Joey Silvera fucks blonde Heather Young in cowgirl, doggie and mish positions, while the other couples are more on the peripheral. It's a well-shot, well edited scene with accompanying "too hot for love" disco tune---!!! 1/2

"I was so nervous"---In a flashback of their their wedding day, Jenny (Clea Carson) comes onto Rhonda while she's preparing to put on her wedding dress. Jenny takes off her orange dress and sucks Rhonda then the duo settle into a solid g/g scene upon a bed with pale blue bed spread. Clea sucks Sam's pussy, then 69, then the gals face each other for a pussy rubbbing with Sam's knee-high leather boots in view. Another solid scene with accomapnaying "you've got magic' disco tune---!!!

"Here comes the bride" plays on the church organ as the happy couple depart out of the church on a cold snowy day to shake hands with that cast of characters from the orgy! Rhonda and Tom arrive at their hotel room where Tom carries her over the threshold but stiffs the bellboy out of a tip. Instead, Rhonda lets the bellboy suck her pussy until she stuffs him under her dress upon Tom's return to the room. The newlyweds end up in bed where Rhonda says "Tom, please be gentle" and continues the virgin masquerade through to the end of this flashback scene, which features mishfucking while the bellboy lies beside the bed jerking off---!!!

"Thanks honey, for saving your virginity for our wedding night"---Our happy couple, get ready for sleep and discuss what its in store for the next day. For Rhonda, the butcher, paying the milkman, etc.

HERE COMES THE BRIDE (1978, Metro; 2008, VCX re-release) is a wonderful xxx comedic vehicle for Samantha Fox, who looks incredible in what should be her first film appearance. John Christopher assembled a great cast and put together some solid xxx scenes with a fun blend of silly disco tunes. It's a one-joke film but it's well-made and something that couples should really enjoy. Good show. Final rating for HERE COMES THE BRIDE is !!! 1/2

Extras include the usual assortment of Cal Vista Classic series bonus scenes and trailers but not much else.

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