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Handyman (Mercenary Pictures)

Handyman (Mercenary Pictures)

Studio: Mercenary Pictures
Category:  Gay , Masturbation
Directed by:
Starring: , , , , , , ,
Released on: 
Where to buy:DVD NewDVD RentStreaming/Download
YogaDame's ratings for Handyman (Mercenary Pictures):
Overall Rating 4.5 stars
Handyman (Mercenary Pictures) overall rating 4.5 stars
Female Looks Handyman (Mercenary Pictures) Female looks rating 0 stars
Male Looks Handyman (Mercenary Pictures) Male looks rating 4.5 stars
Sex Handyman (Mercenary Pictures) Sex rating 4.5 stars
Plot/Acting Handyman (Mercenary Pictures) Plot/Acting rating 0 stars
Extras Handyman (Mercenary Pictures) DVD Extras rating 4.5 stars
Audio/Video Quality Handyman (Mercenary Pictures) A/V Quality rating 4.5 stars
Rating Scale
Reviewed by YogaDame  on  7/10/2006


Cast: Anthony Hardwood, DeShaun Hayes, Jean-Claude Batiste* (as Jean Baptiste), Joey Ray, J.R. Langoon* (as J.R. Langdon), Marco Banderas* (as Marco Duati (credits) / Duarto (box cover) [sic]), Mario Rossi, Niko, Reno D'Angelo*, Tyler Knight, and Lexington Steele. (*These are the spellings at, for viewers seeking more.)

Director and videographer: Tina Tyler

Editor: Domina X

Production date: 10/4/05

Length: 150 min. (The box cover claims "3 hours," which is approximately correct only if the extras are included.)

Extras: A thirteen-minute cumshot compilation, three minutes of trailers (Superwhores 4, Manhammer 3, Pole Position 2, Superwhores 3, Black Reign 4, and Lex Steele XXX 4), and a slide show with 18 photos. When rating the extras, I've included the performer interviews and bonus scene with Lexington Steele. (Many studios would've added these only as extras, and it seems unfair to give this production a lower rating just because the footage has been seamlessly and skillfully incorporated into the movie itself.)

Audiovisual quality: Handyman looks and sounds good. Tina shot it gonzo-style, with a nice, light touch. She compliments the men when they do something particularly erotic ("Beautiful!"), and every once in a while, she nods "yes" or shakes "no" with her handheld camera when the men ask us a question. But mostly, it's all about the guys showing us a good time.

The locations include quiet, homey interiors (beds, sofas, showers—nothing weird) and backyards (two with swimming pools). The music consists of techno/rock/jazz instrumentals of varying moods, played at an unobtrusive level. Editing effects (e.g., a split screen in one interview, a small amount of monochrome footage, and subtle shifts between widescreen and full screen) add visual interest without going over the top. Cumshots usually run twice, once at normal speed, and then a "recap" in slow motion. There's one technical issue in the extras: a bar from the bottom of the screen appears at the top during portions of the cumshot compilation. This is not a problem in the movie itself, however.

Category note: Handyman pitches male solos toward a female audience. Many stores have classified it in the "gay" category; I've left it there simply because I'm a great fan of masturbating men, and that's where I usually find this type of action. Guys could potentially enjoy this disc, as well, but be aware that much of the dirty talk assumes that the viewer has a womanly anatomy.

Highlights: These handsome Handymen are eager to charm our skirts off while they get off, too. They are generally in their 30s, with physiques ranging from sleek swimmer types to hunky bodybuilders. Body hair is shaved or neatly trimmed. The cast is international—several performers speak their native languages (Spanish, French, and Hungarian) in addition to English. Nine of the ten scenes also include brief yet interesting interviews.

Scene 1 Anthony Hardwood is a soft-spoken, blond Hungarian who loves sports and his new home in America. He gently urges us to take off our lingerie, adding that it's hot when we naughty voyeurs don't always shave our pussies. He shifts from his bed to a chaise, stroking his uncut cock faster and faster until he cums. Anthony wraps up with an earnest, romantic sentiment: "I love you, honey, forever." Time: 8:07 (solo) + 2:40 (interview). Rating: 5 stars.

Scene 2 DeShaun Hayes is a 28-year-old DJ sporting a shaved head and an interesting abdominal scar. He asks us to sit at his feet and observe what we're doing to him. He wants to put his black dick in our tight pussies, but Tina makes him slow down, and DeShaun gets off just fine with his hand and a little lube. Time: 10:21 (solo) + 3:17 (interview). Rating: 4 stars.

Scene 3 Jean-Claude Baptiste is a Black Frenchman with a soul patch and a couple of facial piercings. He would love us to join him in the shower, where Jean-Claude's eager to do whatever pleases us. "Ah, oui, comme ça. Je te baise très bien." Time: 12:00 (solo—no interview). Rating: 4.5 stars.

Scene 4 Joey Ray is an industry veteran, still looking good with closely cropped salt-and-pepper hair, and candid in his preference for sexually mature women. He teasingly calls us filthy perverts for spying on him. But he's a hot-blooded exhibitionist, genuinely thrilled by the idea that we're watching. With a sideways glance, Joey reaches out under the camera, creating the appealing illusion that he's fondling our juicy spots. This soon leads to a hearty ejaculation. Time: 7:36 (solo) + 3:50 (interview). Rating: 5 stars.

Scene 5 J.R. Langdon enjoys a nude swim and then, bless his heart, briefly puts on his glasses (so hot!) while stroking poolside. He lightly runs a hand over his perfect dark brown body, and invites us to sit in the water with him. Incidentally, J.R.'s a retired Marine who's attracted to ambitious women, and he's single and looking. Time: 9:01 (solo) + 3:28 (interview). Rating: 4.5 stars.

Scene 6 Marco Banderas is a brunet Spaniard with a winsome grin, uncut cock, and a little body art. He starts soft and develops a powerful upward curve. He's very chatty; I understand nothing except "hola," "sí," and "caliente," but he sure sounds seductive. Marco uses both hands to milk out a glistening string of precum and then a full load onto a glass table. Time: 10:00 (solo) + 2:01 (interview). Rating: 5 stars.

Scene 7 Mario Rossi is another brunet with an uncut cock, but he speaks Hungarian. He's been around a while, and his performance is the edgiest on this disc. Women who lean submissive in their fantasies and sexual play will dig Mario's more aggressive approach. Not my cup of tea, but I can't fault his intensity or authenticity. I do like the way he encourages us to come with him. Time: 12:37 (solo) + 2:45 (interview). Rating: 4.5 stars.

Scene 8 Niko is a gorgeous Romanian with long black wavy hair, a goatee, and the well-defined muscles of an exotic dancer and sports lover. He massages his body with tanning oil in a sunny backyard. Niko has an adorable habit of rubbing his washboard abs while jerking his uncut cock. "You're so sexy," he whispers. The feeling is mutual. Time: 10:32 (solo) + 4:01 (interview). Rating: 4.5 stars.

Scene 9 Reno D'Angelo is a rugged-looking, long-haired brunet with slightly scruffy facial hair. He sits in a pool and makes himself hard for Tina and his offscreen girlfriend, who purr their encouragement and tell him what they want to hear. Reno spanks his erect penis against the water and promises to blow it "inside you, on you, wherever you want." Time: 11:50 (solo) + 2:02 (interview). Rating: 4 stars.

Scene 10 Tyler Knight is a top-notch flirt with a sweet face, short hair, and a body that appears strong and agile. He teases us, gradually pulling down his black boxer briefs to reveal his black dick. Tyler masterfully articulates his desires, suggesting that in the midst of all the sucking and licking, he might move up to kiss the mouth, just the upper lip at first, just a little nibble. You know, I've always disliked g-spot stimulation, but Tyler makes me want to try again. Tina sucks in her breath several times, unable to suppress a shy-sounding giggle when he grins at her. He's that smooth. Tyler gets quiet when he's ready to make himself cum, which he accomplishes with a double-handed, side-pull technique. Time: 14:41 (solo) + 5:51 (interview). Rating: 5+ stars.

Bonus Lexington Steele appears in short clips between the scenes. He flashes his famously huge hard-on and grins impishly. This footage has a different feel—it's even more intimate, like his girlfriend just happened to catch him in the shower. Lex cums on the glass door during the end credits.

Thumbs up: Everyone in this cast radiates respect for female sexuality. There is infrequent use of potentially disrespectful terms (such as "bitch"), but even then, the underlying spirit is playful and horny. A while back, I reviewed a masturbation movie in which the men all seemed lonely, bored, or disgusted with their girlfriends. I like this one much better!

Thumbs down: I would've liked more undressing. Everyone is buck-naked from the start, except Tyler Knight in his undies.

Themes: Masturbation, dirty talk, exhibitionism, swimming pools and showers, athletic physiques, uncut cocks, large cocks, ethnically diverse cast.

Condom use: None needed.

Juice-o-meter: High.

Final analysis: Handyman is the best masturbation movie (of any gender or orientation) I've yet seen. Tyler Knight's scene alone is worth the price of admission, but all of these guys are hot-hot-hot.

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