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Grandpa Loves Cream Pie

Grandpa Loves Cream Pie

Studio: White Ghetto Films
Category:  Cream Pies , Freak
Starring: , , ,
Released on: 
Where to buy:DVD NewDVD RentStreaming/Download
Boner Jams's ratings for Grandpa Loves Cream Pie:
Overall Rating 1 star
Grandpa Loves Cream Pie overall rating 1 star
Female Looks Grandpa Loves Cream Pie Female looks rating 1.5 stars
Male Looks Grandpa Loves Cream Pie Mael looks rating 1/2 star
Sex Grandpa Loves Cream Pie Sex rating 1 star
Plot/Acting Grandpa Loves Cream Pie Plot/Acting rating 1 star
Extras Grandpa Loves Cream Pie DVD Extras rating 1 star
Audio/Video Quality Grandpa Loves Cream Pie A/V Quality rating 2.5 stars
Rating Scale
Reviewed by Boner Jams  on  5/10/2008
Admittedly, I'm a bit of a masochist at times when it comes to my porn. I don't even like S&M themed smut, but I do occasionally take it upon myself to view some of the strangest porn made so you, dear reader, don't have to. "Grandpa Loves Cream Pie" certainly finds a top spot in my personal list of strangest porn ever made. The fact that there was a second installment made bothers me even more than I was upon viewing this initial flick of depravity. But, I shall plow forward through a viewing and review of all 4 scenes of a repulsive stout senior citizen boffing and filling young women.

Scene 1 - Gina: The first actress is a pretty young blonde who appears holding a birthday cake for Grandpa. It appears he is celebrating his 80th today. Unfortunately, the cake is not filled with cream, but Gina will be! Right off the bat, I can honestly say this is the first porn I've ever seen where the male costar enters with a cane. They sample some of the frosting before she lifts her shirt off to reveal a framed art deco drawing of Vladimir Lenin (seriously) as a gift for Grandpa. The crazy gal kneels and begins slurping on the octogenarian's pole. None of the four women on this dvd are in any danger of winning People's Most Beautiful People award any time soon, but Gina is way too pretty for this crap. Argh. After sucking him gently for a few minutes, she climbs aboard his lap on the bed and rides reverse cowgirl. She turns around for cowgirl, stopping briefly to suck his cock again. One thing I like about this guy is that his package is even smaller than mine, which boosts my self esteem! Grandpa gives it to her sideways and in missionary, which is the final position to bring him to climax inside her much younger vagina. He pulls out and lays back, so she can sit above his face to let his cum drip out into his mouth. Not my cup of tea at all, but I am impressed by the load that oozes out.

Scene 2 - Lara: Next up is sensibly dressed Lara in the same bedroom as the previous scene, this time sans birthday plot. Apparently she will be giving him a massage, so he strips out of his clothes semi-off camera, which takes a hilariously long amount of time. He lays nude on the bed and a topless Lara (fairly busty) leans in for the massage. She quickly turns him over and massages his genitalia with her mouth. Climbing onto his lap for cowgirl, her rolls pile up and her jumblies bounce. More oral followed by RCG. Judging by the slick sheen of sweat all over her body, it would appear that Grandpa is giving her quite the workout! That, or she's just out of shape. I think that's the likelier of the two. Next up is a semi-unique half RCG/spoon bounce that's actually kind of hot. More dick sucking. Then, we've got mish which Old Man Winter uses as his finishing position. Like before, he lays back to let her drip his cum into his mouth. I'm starting to feel a bit nauseous.

Scene 3 - Winnie: Winnie is an almost sort of pretty brunette who sits on the bed reading a magazine. Grandpa shuffles in complaining of his heart not feeling well. Thanks to her medical degree, Winnie lifts his shirt and puts her ear to his stomach to listen to his heart. Hmm, no heartbeat through his bulbous gut. She searches for his heart by unzipping his pants and peeling his foreskin back before swallowing his elderly trouser snake. Despite Winnie having the same speckled skin affliction that Anastasia Blue had, she really has a very nice body, particularly for a film of this quality. She strips and then straddles his lap, working his small pecker into her tight canal. They then get a 69 going before he takes her in the spoon position. Some more cocksucking ensues before they move into mish. She's back aboard in reverse cowgirl when he shoots off inside her, leading to her standing up and squatting on his face yet again for another meal of his own seed.

Scene 4 - Laura: Laura is a shorter haired voluptous lady who seems to be a nurse in this scene. I literally could not understand Grandpa's mumbles, but it seemed to result in Laura telling him to strip. Inexplicably, Laura got turned on watching the old man hobble out of his clothing. She immediately stood up and walked over to him, deepthroating his weiner as he stretched out on the bed. Laura strips out of her lab coat to reveal her large breasts squeezed into sexy white lingerie. She flips the girls out and begins titfucking him. Finally she's aboard in one of Grandpa's favorite positions: cowgirl. Let her do all the work, right old man? Reverse cowgirl is next, allowing Grandpa to lay back and lounge continuously. And back to cowgirl. Finally he plows it into her missionary style, causing her giant cans to swing in circles. Her belly undulates hypnotically as well. After a bit of spoon sex, he fills her and then she deposits his load back into his too-eager mouth.

Special Features: Cumshot recap, trailers, web previews.

Final Thoughts: Honestly, I had a lot more fun writing the review than I did watching this. My emotions throughout ranged from bemused disgust to utter repulsion. I give the guy a lot of credit for being as old as he is and still banging away on camera, but I can't imagine anyone bought this dvd and actually enjoyed any of it. I felt more sadness than anything for the girls...I seriously doubt a single one enjoyed getting down with him, nice and polite as he may be. I'd rather watch porn where everyone involved is enjoying themselves, not porn where it feels like money is the only reason they stomach such work. I really don't recommend this as a rental or a purchase, unless you want to play Mystery Science Theater 3000 Porn Edition.

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The opinions expressed in this review of Grandpa Loves Cream Pie from White Ghetto Films are not necessarily the opinions of Adult DVD Talk. Adult DVD Talk provides a public forum for consumers to post their DVD reviews. Adult DVD Talk does not edit these reviews.