Way back in the puritan 1990's finding anal sex in your new porn video was like unexpectedly discovering a $20 bill in a pair of freshly laundered pants. John Goodman was entertaining a nation as Fred Flinstone, The Saved by the Bell kids were off to college, and the promise of the electric car never shone brighter. Obtaining anal in their porn, to many, was like Oliver Twist asking for more gruel and getting it. Now, anal sex is fired at us from t-shirt cannons as we watch from our couches, and the Grand Theft Anal series, as much as any other on porn shop selves, proves just how far ass fucking has come. We're on volume #11 now, and the premise is the same. Porn girls bend over and get fucked in the ass. No vaginal intercourse here. Hell, any oral action, quite literally, is just paying lip service.
Mike Quasar gathers five starlets who are followed by the famous posteriors that proceed their pornographic reputations. You know from the title that you're getting anal, and you can look at the cast list to know who's providing it to you, but questions may still abound.
Anal is all fine and good, but come on now, the best anal involves the pussy. Agree?
I don't even know what the fuck that's supposed to mean. The only purpose a vagina serves in a movie like this is to provide geographical orientation to the asshole. I'm a big fan of pussy, to tell you the truth, and I doubt I'll ever grow tired of them, but here they're rendered completely superfluous. So, know that going in. There's no vaginal sex here to be found. Not even a little.
I see that Jenny Hendrix is listed in the credits. Does she do anal?
Can you not read? They all do anal. And so does Jenny Hendrix. She does it well, in fact. She makes with all the appropriate moans and squeaks when Tommy Gunn slides through her sphincter and she happily initiates ass to mouth. Her reverse anal cowgirl is one of the more energetic ass fuckings I've seen in quite some time. I think the triple-timed stroking might have required a switch from Astroglide to 30w Quaker State by scene's end. Though clearly a stand-out, I was left with a slight feeling of lost opportunity. With an ass like hers, you'd expect to see some energetic, lovingly shot cowgirl. You know, so you can watch her ass jiggle and gyrate. But we never make it to that position.
And call me nit-picky if you want, but this jangley jewelry she wears clangs like a cowbell throughout the scene. I suppose that's helpful if you live near pornstars and desire fair warning when someone having anal sex is coming up your driveway, but it's a little distracting when a girl as hot as Jenny Hendrix sounds like a cable car when she's getting sodomized.
Jenny Hendrix and ass to mouth you say? Can you draw a picture and email it to me?
Sorry. I have no artistic ability. But just trust me. She takes a facial, too.
I lust for Sasha Grey like crazy. Like straight jacket crazy. I especially like her when she does anal. Does she do that in this video?
Here we go again. Yes, she takes it in the ass. They all do.
Sasha starts out with your standard posing and teasing which is made only non-standard by the fact that she just looks better than most other girls. Of course, that's a completely subjective opinion, but it's the opinion of this sometimes porn critic. She warms her ass up for a brief moment, then without so much as a hello, James Deen falls cock first into her anus.
If you don't describe this scene in graphic and exacting detail, I will bring harm to everyone you've ever loved.
Ha...the joke's on you. I'm lonely and unloved. Take that!
What I can tell you is that Sasha doesn't fail to deliver. As always, she gives as good as she gets. When these two switch to reverse cowgirl, they give it to each other pretty hard. Sasha approaches sex like there's a winner to be announced at the end of the scene. And one of the many other things I like about Sasha (there are 47 things, in case you're wondering; I counted), is that she's always quick with an under-handed compliment. Case in point, she tells James Deen, "You look like a little boy, but you make me cum so fucking good." I'm not sure how one is supposed to respond to that. "You're welcome," perhaps?
John Lennon said The Beatles were bigger than Jesus, but nothing is quite as large as Brianna Love's ass. I mean, that thing is huge. And sexy. Does she do anal?
Oh, for Christ's sake. Yes, Brianna Love does anal. Does she ever not do anal? Here she does it with Mick Blue who bends her over a pool table, then spreads some oil on her ass while director Mike Quasar brings his camera in close to shoot it like Kubrick shot the monolith in 2001: A Space Odyssey.
Nice. I jerked off to that movie, too.
Yeah, it got me off watching those monkeys beat each other with bones. Speaking of which, how well does Mick beat Brianna's ass with his.
On a scale of one to ten, he fucks her a good hard nine. After a brief early pause for some ass to mouth, they go full throttle giving viewers what I expect they'll buy this disc hoping to see. That is a hard unforgiving anal pounding in about a half dozen different positions. Eventually he pops in her mouth and we're on to the next scene.
There's a girl named Ocean listed in the credits. I'm not familiar with her. Is she any relation to Billy Ocean.
She wishes. That guy was awesome! Even though she has a nice body, she strikes me as being a little rough around the edges. James Deen puts her through her paces, and she keeps up quite well, but there's something about this French Canadian that makes me think a biker would beat me with a pool cue if I ever tried to make eye contact with her. I don't think she's a stranger to hard times. I will say this in her favor, she takes an anal pounding like a champ, but she's even more accomplished at deep throat. There aren't many girls who can take a cock like that balls deep in her ass and mouth.
Ah, deep throat. Nice. But just to confirm, she does do anal, yes? I'm a meticulous note taker, so I have to ask.
I hate you.
I'll take that as a yes. I haven't heard of Sarah Wild, either. What can you tell me about her?
I can tell you that her hair has more than one color. I know what her stretched asshole looks like, and if the inside of it has an unpleasant after taste, you wouldn't know it by the way she suck James Deen's cock after he's been reaming her out for about 10 minutes. Like Ocean, she's a sweet girl, but she's got some rough edges. In addition to anal and oral sex, I suspect her special talents may also include sweating and smoking cigarettes. But who am I to complain?
OK, that's five scenes. We're done, right?
Nope. Like John Wayne's revolver, this one shoots six loads. In the final scene, Maria Belluci takes Mikey Butders in her ass until he cums all over it. What's remarkable about this scene isn't that Maria is beautiful (and she is), and it isn't that her ass offers less resistance to incoming cocks than the French put up against invading Germans. What's remarkable is that when paired with Butders, she looks like she's fucking her ventriloquist dummy. Either she's the tallest Amazon in her tribe, or Butders is the smallest man to ever to be paid for sex.
Wow, six scenes. One for each day in God's work week. Any bonus goodies?
There's some bonus tease footage of each girl. So if you liked whacking off to them having sex, you'll love whacking off to them not having sex. The best extra, though, is the behind the scenes footage which reveals the seedy underbelly of anal sex.
Last thing before we go. Can you tell me what we've learned from Grand Theft Anal 11?