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Getting it Up with the KardASSians

Getting it Up with the KardASSians

Studio: Venom
Category:  All Sex
Directed by:
Starring: , , , , ,
Released on: 
Where to buy:DVD NewDVD RentStreaming/Download
Boner Jams's ratings for Getting it Up with the KardASSians:
Overall Rating 3 stars
Getting it Up with the KardASSians overall rating 3 stars
Female Looks Getting it Up with the KardASSians Female looks rating 3.5 stars
Male Looks Getting it Up with the KardASSians Male looks rating 2.5 stars
Sex Getting it Up with the KardASSians Sex rating 3 stars
Plot/Acting Getting it Up with the KardASSians Plot/Acting rating 2 stars
Extras Getting it Up with the KardASSians DVD Extras rating 1 star
Audio/Video Quality Getting it Up with the KardASSians A/V Quality rating 2.5 stars
Rating Scale
Reviewed by Boner Jams  on  6/6/2008
Here's a clever porno spoof of the hit tv show "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" featuring Audrey Bitoni as the socialite slut Kim Kardashian. The dvd title wrote itself and the script is fairly weak, although the dvd is stocked with top smut queen talent, such as Eva Angelina, Audrey Bitoni, and Nikki Benz.

The movie opens with mother and daughter discussing other daughter Audrey's choice in boyfriends and what a scum he is. Suddenly, the doorbell rings and the personal trainer arrives to meat (oops, meet) the younger daughter.

Meanwhile, Mom (Kendra Secrets) heads out to confront her daughter's boyfriend. Predictably, the dirty boyfriend seduces her in his house by kissing her neck and suckling her nipples. Soon, Kendra kneels to orally worship his cock which she does to great effect. They begin fucking in cowgirl on the couch before moving to missionary. Its in this position when the boyfriend puts his pole in the MILF's butt. Anal doggy and reverse cowgirl build up to popshot on mouth.

Back at the Kardassian home, Talon the trainer is showing Kardassian sister Mikayla how to do situps. Talon can't keep his hands off of Mikayla's tight and tanned body (which really is amazing, reminds me of Jenaveve Jolie) and soon both have their clothes off to continue the workout. Mikayla sucks a mean dick for a long time before the sex begins. They start in reverse cowgirl and move into doggy, which shifts itself throughout (legs together, spread, one up, etc). The couple fuck cowgirl style and then missionary before Talon unloads on Mikayla's waiting mouth.

Veering even more sharply into porn plot territory, Audrey Bitoni sits on a couch next to Jack Venice, who seems to be playing some movie star role. After Audrey oohs and aahs over his recent movie role, Jack utters the perfect line: "You're so hot". Audrey melts and replies with, "Oh yeah? Why don't you show me how hot I look?" and flicks her hair back from her astounding cleavage. They begin to kiss but soon Audrey's tits are freed and she has a mouthful of Venice. After missionary, they slide into cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, and doggy while breaking repeatedly for oral for Jack. More mish until Audrey gets a white cum moustache splattered across her upper lip.

After mom and daughter Audrey plan a date for the spa, we cut to dad on the phone when the nanny arrives. The nanny (Starla Sterling) comes onto him and surprisingly isn't shot down. She pulls his cock out and goes to town on it, sucking it like a pro. The only thing unprofessional here is her awful boob job...they look like she fell chest first into a box of Xacto knives. Although she's heavier and pretty trashy, she's definitely sexy in a way that I can't describe. Doggy, missionary, reverse cowgirl, more mish. For god knows what reason, pops decides to pop right on her terrible right tit scar. Weird!

Audrey returns home from the spa to find her friends (Eva Angelina and Nikki Benz) waiting in her bedroom. Let's vacation to the Isle of Lesbos, shall we? All three move to the bed as Audrey strips. Eva and Nikki go to work on her breasts and pussy. Eva dons a strap-on as Audrey and Nikki kneel side by side to take turns getting stuffed doggystyle. As I'm sure you can imagine, this is scorchingly hot stuff. Eva continues fucking the girls in different positions as the other two service pussies and breasts of whomever is available. They finish by removing her strap-on and replacing it with a huge vibrator, bringing Eva to climax.

Special Features: Behind the Scenes, cumshots, photo gallery, website info

Final Thoughts: I never get too into features because the attempts at a story are usually worse than simple scene setups. Considering the mainstream show is similarly vacuous, the spoof didn't fail in that regard. The sex was pretty decent, and the stars I looked forward to didn't disappoint in their hot lesbian threeway. Mikayla put on a great show as well in her tryst with her personal trainer. I can't recommend a purchase of this one though mostly good but not great scenes mixed in with a virtual absence of story. Worth a rental.

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