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THEMES: Ass Obsession, Anal Sex, Interracial, Gapes
Starring: Dana DeArmond, Annette Schwarz, Adrianna Nicole, Bobbi Starr, Amber Rayne, Kelly Wells & Brian Pumper
Produced & Directed by: Brian Pumper
Long Noel Review #104
Iíve just started getting into Brian Pumperís flicks and I must say I am proud of this man. Where Justin Slayer left off, Brian Pumper picked up at The Evil Empire. The Ass Spread was a flick of brilliance and his trailers and raps are very entertaining and hilarious. I have never seen a man so full of himself, but I enjoy it, plus his skill and love for the asses of beautiful women. Now, I despise anal gapes and I feel thereís something extreme, vile and disgusting about some of that (unless weíre talking about the gapes in Buttmanís Anal Show), but the female cast in this flick is so perfect! I found a copy to rent and hereís my review!
Let it be known that Brian Pumper is a very nasty ass motherfucker. Iíve never seen any of Jay Sinís flicks and I know many people like his style and his love for anal gapes. But Brian Pumper takes ass obsession to a true and nasty level. He has a thing for smelling womenís dirty anuses. He has a strong ass-smelling fetish and he even puts his nose in a womanís gaping asshole to see how it smells. I believe someone is going to try a new level of ass obsession, which includes the ladies wiping their buttocks, if Brian doesnít take that step. Iím watching the BTS footage for The Ass Spread and he has the nerve to ask Emma Heart if she wiped her ass, before he starts smelling all in her ass. Emma laughed her ass off. Then, I see the trailer for Aurora Jolieís Cum In My Booty and I found out thatís another flick I want to see in the future. The theme song for this flick is hilarious. Brian puts on a fake Jamaican accent, saying ďI want to see de pink meat!Ē and ďWhen sheís done with me, she wonít be able to shit, fam!Ē Brian Pumper goes overboard with ass obsession. For those of you who felt Christoph Clarkís brand of ass obsession was rough and ugly, you havenít seen anything when youíve seen Gapeman.
The female cast is perfect. Bodacious Booty was a flick that also had a superb female cast, but that was a very weak film. Gapeman is a anal-only, ass-obsessive interracial flick that is filled with potential. While itís not a perfect movie and while itís absolutely not for everybody, if you are into excessive anal gapes (which, unfortunately, is a norm in todayís adult films), you will love it. Although I canít stand anal gapes and feel they are trifling, this was a bomb-ass flick and I cannot say that I hate it not one bit. The weakest scene belongs to Bobbi Starr and the only reason why is because the gapes in her scene were the nastiest, she was too overly-dramatic and I wasnít a fan of the bottomless vinyl pants she was wearing. The tease sequences for every scene is very long and drawn-out. The ladies go inside an elegant house, looking for Gapeman, a Jamaican anal-sex fanatic (played by Brian Pumper). Until he pops up, surprising them, the ladies work the hell out of their butt holes with some huge, oversized sex toys, ramming them all in their rectums. That is until Gapeman comes through and go straight into their assholes, fucking these ladies in the ass in various positions. Sometimes hard and fast, mostly slow and easy. Every scene starts out like this. The tease for every scene is on point, full of intense anal play and ass obsession Sometimes, Gapeman only keeps his dick inside of a woman for 10-15 seconds, teasing them before pulling out, having the camera zoom inside a womanís gape. This shit becomes very annoying after awhile, but it only happens a lot in the scene with Dana DeArmond. Did I mention Dana DeArmond has a very nice ass? Dana DeArmondís scene was great, but for some reason, I liked her a bit better in Jake Maloneís Own My Ass.
Every womanís anal gape looks different. Mostly, you see a womanís intestines to the point to where it looks like raw hamburger and I hate it. Then again, Adrianna Nicoleís butt hole is the best of the entire female cast. I say this because when she gapes, you donít see ďde pink meatĒ. Because her ass is sooo tight! Although the gapes are tasteless and seemingly painful, the ladies provoke it and they enjoy it! While watching this film, I thought about Flower Tucci and Ricki White and how they would fit perfectly for a flick like this! This film includes a lot of nasty ATMs and similar to This Buttís 4 U, the ladies make some nasty, gross butt noises, including farts. But donít worry. Itís not as bad as it was in Belladonnaís Girl Train. I couldnít stomach another Girl Train for shit. Iím also happy there were no nasty, filthy cum-farts in here like there are in flicks by Jules Jordan and Erik Everhard. Gapes and broken rectums are gross enough. Then again, I know some people who prefer cum-farts over gapes. One is nastier than the other at times. This film also includes very little face sitting and some lesbian action in the third scene with Annette Schwarz & Adrianna Nicole, a scene which is reminiscent to the incredible-ass finale in Jake Maloneís Fuck Slaves 2, which starred Lorelei Lee (who looks just like Adrianna Nicole; both ladies are regulars in Jake Maloneís flicks) and Sarah Jane Ceylon. When Brian Pumper, looking like a black Popeye The Sailorman, acts a fool, I feel like Iím watching Forest Whittaker play as a fucking android on steroids or some shit.
This flick is bizarre in some areas and Iíll tell you how bizarre it is, along with what I didnít like about the film. I felt at times this movie was too nasty and perverse for my liking and was too much for me to endure, let alone for me to get off on. But I did like it. I doubt if Iíll ever see another flick like this one, but I liked the movie as a whole. When Brian Pumper slides up in Kelly Wellsí ass doggystyle (while sheís propped on a barstool), she yells out ďHallelujah!Ē But I loved it when he rode her ass doggystyle. I didnít care for all the animalistic faces Kelly Wells made, let alone the ones Brian Pumper made. Bobbi Starrís scene was the shortest of all five and I didnít like how overly-dramatic she was. Bobbi Starr had the nastiest gapes of all the ladies. Bobbi Starrís scene only got 13.5 points out of 15. Every other scene here gets 14 points and above. Annette Schwarz is starting to remind me of Kelly Stafford so much. In her scene with Adrianna Nicole, she fingers her loose anus so, so bad that when she stops, all you see is part of her anal opening. Itís like part of her anus is missing or broken and I hated that shit! I didnít like the fact that Dana DeArmondís scene ended on a very slow note, which made me feel like the scene was too long. Gapeman
is a fucking nasty flick thatís to the point of perversion. Itís more than ass obsession. Some would think itís degrading. While I wouldnít consider it degrading, itís just downright fucking nasty! I liked it better than any of Belladonnaís Butthole Whores flicks. Aside from the ladiesí beauty and the normal views of a womanís buttocks and her switching, there is nothing classy about this flick. I wonít call it trashy, but itís nasty as fuck! Iíll admit, it was a better than Evil Anal 5 (I have some urge to see Evil Anal 7). At the same time, Gapeman isnít anything that Iíd watch repeatedly, but itís a great flick. Just not flawless. It didnít have enough class for me!
If you enjoy watching big black poles ream the evil out of tiny white butt holes, you will love this flick.
Amber Rayneís scene was just perfect to me. Her scene was the greatest, all gapes aside, I loved it. She was the best. The only problem with Dana DeArmondís scene was that it started on the right foot, but ended slow, therefore, making the scene seem too long. There one strong gripe in the third scene with Annette Schwarz & Adrianna Nicole. Bobbi Starrís scene turned out very nasty and too dramatic. Kelly Wells, I loved her scene very much, also. Amber Rayne has such a foul, fast-talking mouth. Iím glad she wasnít annoying like she was in the first Fuck Slaves. She is such a freak and this scene made me get more into her. This flick has potential! But, I loved The Ass Spread better. It wasnít nasty, over-the-top and extreme as this one. But after watching this flick, I can see why John Stagliano had him direct for Evil Angel!
The BTS footage is brilliant. Amber Rayne talks about how sheís been having anal sex since she was 15 and didnít pop her vaginal cherry until she was 18. Amber Rayne, Adrianna Nicole and Kelly Wells discuss how much they love anal sex. The extras include trailers, BTS footage and all. West Coast Productions discontinued this DVD. Currently, Evil Angel is reissuing this flick on DVD, now that B. Pumper is directing for Evil Angel. I just hope that Evil Angel cranks this DVD out asap (in case I want to grab it. Everything I own is by Evil Angel. Well, except This Buttís 4 U. I received a copy of the Jules Jordan DVD by mistake). Gapeman is absolutely not a perfect skin flick. But I liked it a lot. Even when I felt it was too damn nasty and gut-bucket at times, I liked it a lot!
RATING: 97.3% - Own it, immediately!