Anyone who has watched a lot of porn, knows what
is it like when you accidentally pick up a movie
that really rubs you the wrong way. You know
what I mean… the kind that makes you want to
swear off porn forever? This, my friends, is
exactly that movie. An hour and 40 minutes of the
most god-awful porn I have ever seen.
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The opinions expressed in this review of First Time 5 (Dolphin) from Dolphin are not necessarily the opinions of Adult DVD Talk. Adult DVD Talk provides a public forum for consumers to post their DVD reviews. Adult DVD Talk does not edit these reviews.
First off, the boys in this flick are just down
right unattractive. I believe most of them are
from Russia. They seem to range from age 18 to
20, but are all, for the most part, boney,
scrawny, pimply, and in desperate need of a tan.
There is 1 cute guy that I found in this movie,
and Dolphin International was wise enough to put
him on the cover of the DVD.
The first scene is a mess. One of the stars of
this scene has some small red bumps on his lips
that look kind of like herpes. There is no way I
would let this boy near my cock! As with the
entire film, the sex is very generic. Boy 1 sucks
boy 2, boy2 sucks boy1, boy1 gets rimmed, then
Scene 2 is a little better… one of the boys
actually has a nice lean muscular build. The sex
moves too slow, though, and follows the exact
same formula a scene 1.
One of the boys from scene 1 (without the herpes)
is back for scene 3. It is about this time that
we notice he has a giant pus-filled whitehead on
his ass. Yuck!
In the forth scene we finally get to the cute
guy. He is in a large shower with some other
guy. Turns out this cute guy’s penis is waaay
crooked. I don’t know what he did to that thing,
but it points almost 90 degrees to the left!
Anyway, all he does is jerk off and then leaves!
Some other boy takes his place in the shower
before we get to any real action.
The final scene takes place in a sauna. One of
the guys here is fairly cute here, but this scene
is oral only.
To their credit, Dolphin International did go out
of their way to put a bunch of nice extras on the
DVD. Not only do we get the standard pictures
and slideshow, but we also get trailers for First
Time 1-4 as well as interviews with 4 of the
models. On top of that, there is a special bonus
section that contains 2 more scenes of young
Russians. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get most of
the special features to work on my Toshiba DVD
player. They did work on my DVD-ROM player on my
I am going to force myself to say something nice
about this DVD. Here goes: There are some really
nice penises in this flick. They come in all
sorts of interesting shapes and sizes. I think
they were all uncut, and their balls were all
nice and hairy. There… I said it.
It is possible that I am way off base about this
one. If you are really into young Russian boys,
this one might appeal to you. It did absolutely
nothing for me, however. I didn’t sport a woody
through the entire flick. Do you have any idea
how frustrating it is to watch an hour and forty
minutes of porn and not be able to get your rocks
off? This one is going straight to the bottom of
my porn box, so I never, EVER, EVER, EVER watch
it again. Ever!