Reviewed by fu_q
If Eon McKai’s aim in putting together “Eyelashes” were to create an utterly unwatchable adult film, then one could call this endeavor a success. Under any other measure of accomplishment, however, this production outright fails. While I recognize that McKai’s tendency is toward being more artistic and establishing a unique look for his adult films—and, as such, I have taken this into account somewhat positively in prior reviews—it has always been a noted concern of mine that he was being “artsy” simply for the sake of appearing “edgy”, “different”, and “deep”. Along these lines, I have always been concerned that this would one day take his work too far and ruin its value as an adult-oriented product. In “Eyelashes”, this is indeed what has finally transpired.
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The opinions expressed in this review of Eyelashes from Vivid Alt are not necessarily the opinions of Adult DVD Talk. Adult DVD Talk provides a public forum for consumers to post their DVD reviews. Adult DVD Talk does not edit these reviews.
So…what kills (literally) this movie as an adult film? The actresses are fine. The actors are fine. The sex, on the whole, even appears to be fine. Sure, the colors are drab, the sets are dull, the angles are sometimes awkward, the cuts are jumpy, and the camerawork is often jittery and jerky. But…all of these things have been in place before in prior productions and—to some degree—could be justified based on the gritty and realistic effect for which McKai was striving. So…what is it that ruins every scene in this film?
The answer is the magnifying glass that’s employed and held—for the bulk of the time—in front of the camera. This magnifying glass obstructs, distorts, distracts, and blurs the view of the action to the point where every sequence is essentially destroyed. Much like a child who uses such an implement to burn and kill ants on the playground, McKai uses it here to murder his own work. I could understand if it were utilized a bit during the scenes—as some sort of interesting effect—but its wholesale, across-the-boards use is inexcusable. Indeed, with “Eyelashes”, one gets the impression that McKai is trying to make unwatchable porn, much like some musicians have purposefully made music so cacophonous that people can’t stand to listen to it. Whatever the case, there isn’t a single redeeming aspect of this entire movie.
To get some of the details out of the way—though there really is no point to it—it should be noted that Scene One involves an all-vaginal boy-girl sequence between Katie St. Ives and Dane Cross that ends in a facial. Katie squirts in this segment, and it closes out much too quickly after the pop. In Scene Two, Kitty McMuffin and Sherwood have a boy-girl encounter that includes a bit of anal, some queefing by Kitty, and what might have been a mid-action, internal cum-shot by Sherwood. This is evidenced by Kitty queefing something out and Sherwood noting that he came in her afterward. Subsequently, the festivities continue until the scene cuts out—no money-shot—essentially mid-action. Charlotte Vale takes on Dane Cross in Scene Three for an all-vaginal, boy-girl romp. This one includes some apparent queefing by Charlotte while being pounded and ends with a facial. Scene Four brings us Aiden Starr and Dane Cross (again) in a boy-girl vaginal session that ends in a facial, while Scene Five couples Violet Monroe and Vin Vericose in a boy-girl sequence that involves some anal sex and a capping pop-shot to Violet’s face and mouth. Sex-wise, this ends the main production…all ruined by the magnifying glass.
Some other items should also be mentioned. Though untypical for Vivid-Alt releases, advertisements play when the disc is inserted. These can be skipped by hitting the “Menu” button on the remote. The Vivid website watermark is still present in this production at the bottom of the screen. As always, this doesn’t make much difference, though it would be better if it were absent. Finally, the movie runs for a touch over 1.5 hours—which is a good length (at least from my perspective).
In terms of bonus materials and other options, there are “Play Movie”, “Scene Selection”—a standard scene selection mechanism, and “Special Features” in the Main Menu. Under this last item, one finds a “Photo Gallery”—which puts forth a slideshow of stills and “pretty-girl” shots from the production—as well as a “Previews” section—which gives a choice of four Vivid previews. Also present are a “Vivid Extras” option—which plays through various Vivid-related advertisements—and a “Behind the Scenes” featurette that is over 7 minutes in length and also features the magnifying glass. Finally, there is a “Bonus Scene”—a boy-girl, interracial romp featuring Tori Black (from “Sugar Town”). This is by far and away the best item on the disc and, other than the trailers, the only thing really worth watching – it is a scorching sequence.
Overall, this production is really, really bad. It could have been up to the good (or better?) level, but the use of the magnifying glass renders it absolutely unwatchable. As one who has more or less been a fan of Eon McKai’s work, this is a severe disappointment. In good conscience, I can’t recommend purchasing this movie.