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Dallas: A XXX Parody
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Dallas: A XXX Parody

Studio: Adam & Eve
Category:  Feature film
Directed by:
Starring: , , , , , , , ,
Released on: 
Where to buy:DVD NewDVD RentStreaming/Download
bono-ONE's ratings for Dallas: A XXX Parody:
Overall Rating 3.5 stars
Dallas: A XXX Parody overall rating 3.5 stars
Female Looks Dallas: A XXX Parody Female looks rating 4.5 stars
Male Looks Dallas: A XXX Parody Male looks rating 3 stars
Sex Dallas: A XXX Parody Sex rating 4 stars
 
Plot/Acting Dallas: A XXX Parody Plot/Acting rating 3.5 stars
Extras Dallas: A XXX Parody DVD Extras rating 4 stars
Audio/Video Quality Dallas: A XXX Parody A/V Quality rating 4 stars
Worth$18.00
Rating Scale
Reviewed by bono-ONE  on  7/1/2012
Welcome fans to a new parody from Adam & Eve studios and this one takes on a pretty popular series from the 1980's and into the 90's. I'm talking about Dallas and I think most folks out there are familiar with this show and it's warring factions most notably the Ewings who fought everyone including each other over oil, women and lots of other things! The galvanizing figure of the show and among the most notorious characters of all time is J.R. Ewing who was played expertly by Larry Hagman. Well in this parody Eric Masterson gets the task of trying to live up to that role and I think he was among the better characters in this one. Of the others I'd say Alexis Ford who plays Lucy Ewing here had the most fun in her role plus she gives us two sex scenes. You have all the big characters represented along with those two. James Deen takes on the role of Bobby, Bobbi Starr is Sue Ellen, India Summer is Pamela and those were the big ones. Hershel Savage takes on Jock and Bill Bailey is Ray and big fans of the show should recognize those two as well. Cliff Barnes is also represented here by notable character actor James Bartholet but just like on the show he is screwed but not in a good way missing out on fucking a pretty young girl. This parody does attempt a story line with J.R. selling out a big time interest in Ewing oil to a few of their friends but it turns out this wasn't such a good deal for those folks and they seem to think J.R. knew it-- he crosses his fingers while telling daddy I had no idea this was going to take the turn it did, yeah right!!

You get some real nice nods to the show starting with the opening credits which closely resemble those of the show with the music that is played along with the way the images roll across the screen. The only thing missing was the frontal shot of the house which is very recognizable and later on in the show there is a house shown and it does resemble it fairly closely though on a much smaller scale. One other nod comes in the first scene of the movie where India who is playing Pam walks in on Bobby in the shower and everyone knows this was a cliff hanger on one of the seasons where it turns out Pam dreamed the whole season and Bobby wasn't actually dead. This also leads to the first sex scene which was very much couples friendly ending with a pop just above her pussy flying up her stomach. Moving from that we get a little story line as Jack Lawrence comes storming in to confront J.R. and Jock about the whole deal. Jack is playing Jordan Lee and anyone who's a big fan of Dallas will know this character well as he was party of lots of deals both good and bad ones during the shows run. Another sex scene then follows with Alexis who I thought had a lot of fun playing the spoiled rich bitch Lucy Ewing and she drags Ray into one of the stalls in the barn to have her way with him. Ray doesn't take much convincing though!! Alexis looks real nice in this one from sucking Bills cock to riding him with the resulting pop shot fired across her feet-- she's had Bill do some thorough foot sucking to lead off.

The story then moves to Brooklyn and Dino Bravo having a little pow wow, she's Kristin in this and we know that is Sue Ellens sister. The two discuss this deal that just happened and Kristin has some dirt which Dino wants to use but we all know how it turns out when you try to "Screw" J.R.! The next sex scene features Sue Ellen played by Bobbi and she's portraying Sue Ellen as the drunk and blacking out person she was earlier in the shows run and certainly not in the later season. Anyway she's at a session with her therapist and recounting a recent encounter at a bar where she's had a few and a local yocal convinces her she's had one to many and can't drive herself home. Sue Ellen is then led to a somewhat secluded spot and the lighting is a big dark here but the two have at it. Michael Vegas is the cowboy who plunders Sue Ellens oil fields! Another shot on the pubes to end the scene so another couples friendly scene.

The story comes back in when J.R. goes to Kristins apartment and lets her know he knows she tried to blackmail him. But he doesn't crack down on her at the time and this also leads Kristin to say something about how she'd like to be there when J.R. gets his-- this is a theme in the show throughout as folks all get their reasons solidified to take a shot at this sleazy man. Cliff Barnes also comes in to the office when J.R. returns with a piece of paper that gives him some rights to a few fields the Ewings are running. Well he is in the right but J.R. puts the big squah doosh on that calling the fields and ordering them shut down, another reason to shoot J.R. Alexis Ford then returns for her second scene and again she had a lot of fun with this role I think. She goes in to confront a professor about a grade she received and if there wasn't a way to shall we say up grade it!! Needless to say Lucy gets her way and we get another good scene with Miss Ford. Lots of good riding here by Alexis leading to a boob pop shot.

The next day and the story resumes with Bobby confronting Jock and J.R. about these fields being shut down and how this doesn't set well with him. Later on he tells Pam they are leaving but we also have another person with a motive to put a cap in the eldest Ewing son. J.R. then calls Kristin to set up a meeting later and it isn't to discuss business! No he makes another call just after to one of his cronies and that's all business as he arranges to have Dino Bravo brought to the condo that he's about to fuck Kristin at so they can finally resolve that black mail issue. The finale was very nice with Eric and Brooklyn and this one also gives us the best pop shot finish with Miss Lee taking a nice facial with clean up after. Dino then gets brought in and basically after J.R. is done with his speech is shown the door but Kristin gets to stay, she still has some good uses!!

Time to wrap this show up and the following day Bobby goes in to Jock and Miss Ellie and you will laugh your ass off at who plays her and the dialogue/ story that is portrayed here. Bobby leaves and we go to later that night and finally one last nod to the show as J.R. starts off receiving a little something something from his secretary who leaves and J.R. is alone. But that soon changes as we get the familiar camera movement like someone is sneaking into the room which is darkened and J.R. calls out who is there and no one speaks but a couple shots ring out and he crumples to the floor. The credits then roll without us knowing who pulled the trigger!

Overall a good show with a few strong nods to the show it is based on. The extras include a fantastic alternate ending that you have to watch as it gives a super cool take on the whole who shot J.R. line. Other extras include bloopers and we know porn bloopers are usually very funny. There is also a BTS segment that goes over 40 minutes. Easy to pick up for fans of the show. You see lots of beloved characters represented and there are some real funny elements in this too that are presented chiefly Alexis Ford as Lucy and then the whole Miss Ellie scene that was tacked onto the end of this show. I could see another Dallas entry as these characters offered so much during the shows run and they couldn't possibly hit them all in one parody so we shall see if the makers of this one decide to take another journey to Big D, I hope they do.



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