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Cum on My Stockings
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Cum on My Stockings

Studio: Smash Pictures
Category:  Fetish , Foot/Leg Fetish
Directed by:
Starring: , , ,
Released on: 
Where to buy:DVD NewDVD RentStreaming/Download
astroknight's ratings for Cum on My Stockings:
Overall Rating 1 star
Cum on My Stockings overall rating 1 star
Female Looks Cum on My Stockings Female looks rating 2.5 stars
Male Looks Cum on My Stockings Male looks rating 1 star
Sex Cum on My Stockings Sex rating 1 star
 
Plot/Acting Cum on My Stockings Plot/Acting rating 0 stars
Extras Cum on My Stockings DVD Extras rating 3.5 stars
Audio/Video Quality Cum on My Stockings A/V Quality rating 2 stars
Worth$2.50
Rating Scale
Reviewed by astroknight  on  1/17/2005

The Little Details

Running Time: approx. 67 min.

Production Date: 3 / 28 / 2003, 3 / 31 / 2003, 5 / 5 / 2003

Director: Jim Legman

Cast: Catalina, Allura Bond, Dalny Marga, and Jim Legman

The Short Story

Initial Expectations: I’m going into this one a bit unsure. I really enjoy a leg and stocking focus, but Catalina being the cover girl takes away a good portion of that interest. If this wasn’t a Smash release, who’s been doing a great job over the last year, I’m not sure I’d be checking this one out.

Initial Reaction: It’s easily the worst movie I’ve seen from Smash. As Sir Robin the Brave might say, “RUN AWAY!!!!!!!”.

Who Should Watch It : Blind people, prison inmates, and extreme, and I mean extreme, stocking fans

Who Should Avoid It: Anybody who can

The Technical Stuff

Audio /Video Quality: The technical aspects leave a bit to be desired. The audio is fairly clear but has some balance problems. There’s also some background noises. The video is also lacking. There’s some noticeable grain that gives the picture a muddied look as well as a bit of soft focus blurs. The lighting is a bit low, but also a bit uneven as there’s a few streaks that show up. There’s some minor camera shake, and you can see the sun shade on the camera wobbling in and out of the corners at times.

Music: None

Disc Complaints: This is one of Smash’s slightly older DVDs, and as such has a few of the problems they’ve moved past. To start with, there’s no time stamp here, which always ticks me off because sometimes I want to jump to a specific instance and can’t without the time stamp. The authoring of the chapters is also funky, and starts the time over every time it starts. This makes skipping around inside the movie even more difficult if you would wish to do so. Thankfully these complaints are a thing of the past with Smash doing a much better job on their current releases.

Menus: The menus are nicely done. The main menu kind of works a chapter menu into it by letting you choose a scene based on a photo of the girl in each scene as well as giving you the usual choices along with some okay animation. When you select a girl, you’re taken to a submenu which lets you choose what part of each girl’s scene you’d like to go to.

The Feature

Cum On My Stockings goes with a simple idea. It starts with girls in stockings, and then adds a creepy, overweight, middle aged guy named Jim Legman. At the end of each scene, he pops on their stockings.

Scene 1 - Allura Bond and Jim Legman

Twenty year old brunette British tart Allura starts things out in multicolored stockings and a black mesh top talking about what a nasty bird she is. She diddles herself before Jim comes in and they talk back and forth a little. Being a legman, he starts things out admiring her shoes and feet before working his way up a bit. Allura plays with his cock with her feet a little and lets him dry-hump her stocking clad knee as well as her stockings. After a bit she lets Jim know that it’s time to give her some attention rather than her stockings, and has him come up to eat her pussy. She rewards him with a bit of cocksucking before climbing up to ride him reverse cowgirl style. Allura also lets Jim spoon her pussy and fuck it from behind before he pops on her stocking-clad ass.

This is an okay at best scene. There’s some nice focus on stockings, which I like. Unfortunately, Jim Legman is about as appealing to the eye as is Ed Powers, and he goes one notch past Ed by being a heck of a lot creepier. Since I had to see him for much of the tease I really couldn’t get into it that well. Allura seems like she tries to overcompensate at times, which also holds the scene back. I love the colored stockings, but they’re the only thing that held much interest for me in this scene.

Scene 2 - Catalina and Jim Legman

Catalina, who looks like she might have gotten kicked by a mule after taking the drugs it was supposed to be treated with, lets Jim feel his way around her nylons. He admires her heels and massages her feet before Catalina strips down to just her stockings. Jim fucks her foot a little and kisses his way around her ass and pussy before Catalina sucks his “Yep, he’s a white guy” sized cock. Catalina lies back for Jim to fuck her missionary style before climbing up for a bit of reverse cowgirl. Catalina lies on her side for Jim to kinda try spooning her and rubs his feet with her leg before he finally strokes himself onto her black nylons while she gives him a few moans and a pathetic look.

This scene proves that two wrongs don’t make a right. Catalina starts things out showing how she couldn’t act her way out of a wet paper bag while Jim looks like he can’t get closer than a few hundred yards to a school. Not even five minutes into this scene I was starting to whimper “Make it stop, please make it stop.”, as Catalina tried to look sexy. It does get a little better when Catalina gets up to ride Jim cowgirl style, partially because you don’t have to see much of Jim, but Catalina continued to hold it back a bit with some bad camera mugging and horrible acting. More than anything, this scene made me happy to have a remote control. I think even Ed Wood would make fun of this scene.

Scene 3 - Dalny Magna and Jim Legman

Bottle blonde Dalny starts things out letting Jim admire her red nylons as she waves them around in the air wearing a black and white polka dotted outfit. He sucks her toes, and when she takes her nylons off to go model another pair for him, she returns to find him wearing one of her nylons over his cock. Dalny puts on a pair of black stockings and lets Jim suck her titties before dropping down to suck his cock. She even works Jim over orally with her red stocking over his cock before lying back for him to fuck her missionary style. She moves up to ride him reverse cowgirl style and lets him fuck her from behind before he pops on her stocking-clad ass.

This scene barely worked for me, and once again is average at its absolute best. Dalny looked like they might have considered shooting this scene in the dark for the fear of anything close to a shiny object completely ruining her focus for the day. She seems to get into things pretty well as the scene goes on, but she starts out the scene looking like such a brainless bimbo that I had a really hard time getting into it. Yes, Jim looked about like he came from a family of Arkansas hillbillies who’d been inbreeding for the last several generations. This scene ended on a high note called the credits.

Cum On My Stockings is a dismal movie. I really enjoy teases with stockings, and Smash’s Stocking Secrets series is easily one of my favorite series out there. With that in mind I couldn’t help but check this one. I think if this was a full length movie my eyes would have started to bleed. The girls are very average looking, but Allura is the only one who seems like she has a full brain. After watching a little of Jim I can’t help but wonder if girls spray him with Mace as he walks down the street just on general principle. He does seem to like stockings, but he does it in such a creepy way that he completely ruined the movie for me. I’m not sure whether Allura or Dalny had the better scene here, but without a doubt Catalina’s was the least watchable. Avoid Cum On My Stockings if you can. There’s better stocking related releases elsewhere.

The Extra Stuff

The photo gallery includes about twenty decent looking snapshots. Trailers are included for Easy Prey, Shitty Shitty Bang Bang, My Playtoy 3, Camel Toe Perversions, Legal Skin 16, and White Wife Black Cock 3. There’s also website information and a bonus scene.

Bonus Scene - Nikky and a guy

The bonus scene comes from Down Your Throat 3. After finding her man in the hallway with a glass of wine, Nikky decides to take care of his needs. She strokes his cock while he sucks her tits before sliding down to suck it. Nikky also lets him fuck her tits and eat her pussy before finishing things up letting him pop in her mouth.

This is a great scene. I love the variety in the scene, and Nikky seems to love every moment of the scene. She puts her eyes to great use, and had my attention throughout the entire scene. She does a great job playing with the cum at the end, and my only complaint with the scene is that she seemed like she wanted to swallow it all and never did.

The Down -n- Dirty Sex Stuff

Themes: Straight, tease, stockings, and toe-ing

Raincoat Factor: Medium

Condom Usage: None

The Bottom Line:

Currently, many Smash DVDs can be found online for between $14 and $24 with most stores offering them in the $20 range. Rent this one first. I’m sure there will be fetishists out there who love this one, but I just can’t see this one being worth even the low end. The sex was boring and the technical aspects left plenty to be desired. The best thing about this DVD is the bonus scene in the extras.

Note to Smash Pictures: I love that you decided to try something different with this movie. I hope you try something similar in the future with somebody who can do it right.

If you have any questions or comments, please e-mail me .

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