Who should watch it: Fellatio fans (please go read baskkk2003's review)
Who should avoid it: Anyone who wants to see something in addition to fellatio
What I Liked
About 30 seconds worth of good looking chicks.
What I Disliked
There's nothing but BJ.
Techically it's about average for Private, there's a music video/karaoke clip of an apperantly original song titled "Cum on my fact". This is the only segment on the DVD I didn't fast forwarded thru, which is a sad thing to say about a porno DVD.
On one hand I am a very picky porn watcher, on the other hand, it's very rare that I can't find anything to like about a porno. With the help of the Fast Forward button, I can make any tape/DVD a tolerable passtime. But not this time. I have been disappointed before, but never like this. As a result, I find myself typing up my first ever porno review.
With a title like 'Cum on my face 1', normally I would not have rented this DVD. But it's from "Private" studio with an impressive line-up of famous directors, and it's 2-for-1 Wednesday, why the fuck not? I can always count on a few hot chicks, right? Wrong!
It's 15 straight scenes of 1-on-1 blow-jobs, every scene is almost identical. In many scenes you can't see above the belly of the guy or below the neck of the girl. During most of the playing time of the DVD, only the head of the girl and the hip of the guy are within the camera frame. Fine this is a BJ flik, but at least let's have a peek of each girl's body right? Even if the action is ENTIRELY of sucking, I'd like to see the camera pan down and show some breasts, pussies and a-holes, preferably with some fingers or other devices. In a few scenes, the girls didn't even take off their tops or show some legs!
Ok ok, I rented the disc with the wrong expectation. Let's forget what I expected to get and focus on what I actually got. Are these BJ scenes hot? My honest opinion is an unqualified "NO". But remembering I am not a fellatio affectionado, let me try to take a step back and just deal with a couple factors I feel confident to comment on:
The bodies: With the camera almost entirely focussing on the actual "business", there's almost nothing to be said about the girls. Out of the 15, I'd say perhaps 3 of them exposed some nice body parts.
The faces: baskkk2003 was right in calling the looks "natural", but are they pretty faces? The answer is "mixed", several girls are indeed quite pretty, the rest are very average. Disappointingly average.
The dicks: This is the first time I see ten times more cocks than tits and asses. So we can expect some impressive members, right? WRONG! The dicks are overwhelmingly average. A few are borderline flacid. The cum shots are also variable, a few are decent and made a good splash on the girls, the rest are, even in the eyes of an outsider to the BJ genre, unworthy of a genre production. Dripplers are sad to see in any porno, but especially so in a BJ flik.
The direction: Each scene sticks so close to the formula that the well known Frank Thring, Alessandro del Mar and gang had their hands completely tied. "Mailing it in", as they say. At best I would say only 2 or 3 scenes are kind of hot, the rest are totally lame.
Don't even rent it. I've made mistakes in rental and purchase before but this disc stands quite on its own amongst them.