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Caesar, the main character, goes by the name of Cowboy. His father liked cowboys and named his son accordingly. The theme song tells of cowboys and bad dreams and when we meet Cowboy he is sprawled naked on a bed having one of these nightmares. When he awakes from this dream, Rhett O’Hara appears in the doorway of the bedroom. Rhett is stark naked. We can infer from what later transpires that Rhett has picked up the wandering Cowboy and given him a place to crash. Now if you don’t know Caesar, he is a muscular blond body builder who has marred his godlike physique with the initials DM tattooed on his left pec, and JAM in Old English script tattooed on his abdomen. (Go figure?) Rhett, however, has gone ape with tattoos. There are three blue roses on his pecs, a blue tattoo on his arm and some more dancing across his belly. He looks like a cute little mountain boy. His upper lip doesn’t move when he talks, but it does when he goes down on Caesar’s cock. This was an oral only scene and a not very good one at that. In fact, it was a very lame one. It put Rhett to sleep, allowing Cesar to steal the kid’s money and hit the road again. (I was yawning myself.)
Cowboy is soon picked up by a dark haired young twink named Jake (Dane Brando). Jake asks Cowboy if he has a place to stay or needs a job and tells him he has a big ol’ ranch left him by his daddy. Cowboy takes Jake up on his offer and asks the kid if he likes bodybuilders. Jake tells of one who used to work at the ranch. In retrospect we see Sal Lombardi working on a car engine. Grease stains the muscular chest of this Italian hunk. Finished with the engine, Sal poses for us, does a slow strip tease, winks his anus at us, and jacks off. (The grease has miraculously vanished from his chest.) Sal has a nice bod. He hasn’t pumped up too much—yet. I am reminded of one of the great ironies of bodybuilding: the larger the bodies become, the smaller the cocks appear.
Jake tells Cowboy he will show him the bunkhouse, but Cowboy tells Jake he would rather sleep with him. Quick as my bench press routine, Jake is down on his knees and then on his back. As Caesar is fucking him, Dane’s white socks keep appearing and disappearing. Very sloppy editing that is distracting! Nevertheless, despite these gaffes, this is the hottest scene in the film. The only once that seems to be more than merely mechanical. We cut to Caesar sitting in a chair with Dane riding Cowboy cowboy. This goes on much too long before Caesar cums on Dane’s face. (The director repeats every cum shot in this film with instant replay as though it is a sporting event. Maybe it is, but I find it a bit much.) Dane, like Onan, drops his seed on the earth.
Poor smitten Jake dreams of a happy future with Cowboy, but two of the ranch hands, Tom Katt and Evan Taylor do not view Cowboy with the same ardor. (One wonders at this point that if Jake has a thing for bodybuilders why he hasn’t made a fool of himself over Katt who has bulked up to such an extent that he looks as if he could grind both Schwarzenegger and Ferrigno to a pulp.) Evan is not averse to body worship and he gives Tom and good licking. Katt, normally a very hairy guy, has shaved his body totally including any vestige of pubic hair. (It helps to make the dick look larger, too.) Evan sucks the denuded cock. Evan’s own cock is awesome. (Now that’s the kind of muscle I like.) Evan does a great job of rimming Tom before replacing his tongue with his finest muscle. The fucking here, as in all the scenes, is remarkable passionless and cold. Awesome, perhaps, but not stimulating. Tom sucks Evan and jacks himself off before sitting on Evan’s dick to conclude the scene. (Imagine having a 300-pound hunk sit on your lap. Whoosh!)
In bed one morning, Cowboy asks Jake if he loves him. When Jake says he does, Cowboy tells him the feeling is mutual and that he trusts Jake enough to tell him the cause of his nightmares. Cowboy discovered his Father, Uncle, and Cousin having sex in the shower. “I caught them years ago,” he says. “It was disgusting!” As Cowboy relates the tale we flash back to these three old geezers in the shower together.
(Now before commenting on this scene let me say that I know there are a myriad of tastes. Some of us are into twinks, some are into muscle hunks, some are into bears, some are into chubbies, some are into feet, some are into shaving, some are into S & M, etc., and I suppose there are some who are into fat hoary balding guys that are ugly enough to scare small children. But these latter are not for me. I view porn as a vicarious escape to have sex with those that I can not have any other way, the ideal; not the old fat guys in my back yard emptying my septic tank.)
These three ancients are without doubt the most repulsive threesome since the gorgons of Greek mythology. No wonder Cowboy has nightmares when he recalls these guys having sex. Of course the beauty of DVD is that we can push a button and zoom on to the next scene. Knowing I was going to review it, I felt compelled to watch. They are actually pretty good at what they do and the fear that my limp dick might actually retreat into my body did not occur. The scene ended with two of the guys dropping their load in the other’s mouth.
“They tried to get me to join them,” Cowboy continues, “But it disgusted me. So, I burned the house down with them inside it.”
Although I am somewhat in sympathy with Cowboy, Jake is horrified at this admission, and as soon as Cowboy leaves the room the little bastard is on the phone to the police. (So much for love!)
Director Blue Blake in a cameo appearance comes to arrest Cowboy for arson and troll burning. Cowboy flees but is pursued by hunky Brad Rock (star of HARD AS A ROCK mentioned earlier). Cornered, Cowboy promises to do anything if Brad will let him go afterward. Brad rips off his shirt and I am surprised to see NYPD on it, as the scenery is certainly not New York State. (Sent from the big city to give the local yokels a helping hand maybe?) Anyway, Cowboy goes down on Brad’s big dick. Caesar is not a good cocksucker. It’s a dry mouth job on only the head. The kind straight guys give in gay porn. He does better when it comes to rimming Brad’s ass. When Brad fucks him they are hanging onto the railing of a staircase leading to a very rickety structure that one fears will topple over at any moment the way it is shaking. Naturally we get instant replays on the cums shots.
As the Sheriff is consoling Jake, we hear something that sounds like a gunshot from out side. The Sheriff leaves to check on it and………..
It is a surprise ending that I fear to reveal lest Blake send the three trolls over to punish me. If he wants to reward me for not revealing it he could send over Dane Brando and/or Rhett O’Hara.
I really like the fact that Blake provides us with a plot—and an interesting one at that. He also takes the trouble to have original music composed for his film which is wonderful. Despite the editing and costume gaffes, the production shows care. The guys, except for that one scene, are great to look at--something that gave me much difficulty in rating “Male looks”. Trying to be fair, I have decided to ignore the scene that gave me problems as being a personal problem other viewers might not share. What remains a disappointment for me however is that the sex seemed bland and uninvolved, as though with the attention placed on other production elements, the main element in these films—and that for which we purchase them, the sex—had not been given the primary attention it deserved. It’s certainly a much-better-than-average porn flick. But it could have been great. That’s the regret.