This is a collector's edition release of the 1996 Jenna Jameson movie Conquest. I didn't see the original version, but this one has added extra features.
It's fun to watch, the sort of swashbuckling pirate adventure that they used to show on Saturdays at the elementary school auditorium when I was a kid. Well, not quite! This one has less plot and more sex.
They spent a lot of money on this movie, and it shows. But they weren't too careful about historical accuracy. That's okay, though. Part of the fun of the movie is giggling over the I Dream of Jeannie hair and fake eyelashes, the shaved pussies, the shiny hair scrunchy, the thong tan lines, and so forth.
The plot is going to lose you a bit at first -- not because it is complicated, but because quite a bit of the dialogue is mumbled or at low volume, and the characters speak of several people without any explanation of who they are talking about. Here's one clue: Captain Jack and Blackheart are the same person, played by Vince Vouyer (don't worry about the plot much, anyhow -- it's not important).
The sex relies heavily on slo-mo. It also has a tendency to lose it's natural sound in favor of dubbed sound and loud music.
Captain Jack's pirate crew celebrates the rescue of one of their own (Alex Sanders) from the gallows. As they lift a few pints of ale, wenches Sahara and Missy entertain three of the men by raising their skirts for a little spanking and some fucking, including an anal.
Jenna and her friend Shayla sneak aboard a pirate ship to snoop around Alex Sanders' quarters. The intruders are apparently unhurried, as they stop to open their bodices and lick each other into a frenzy. There's some very nice and oddly appropriate monk-chanting music for this scene. As Shayla fingers Jenna, she puts part of a strand of pearls up Jenna's ass and pulls them out as Jenna cums, licking off the pearls.
Alex returns to his cabin, and is inexplicably angry to find two naked harlots romping in his quarters. But his anger subsides with Jenna's tits in his mouth and Shayla sucking his dick, as Jenna mutters the centuries-old cliche, "Yeah, spit on it." They share his dick to the romantic, swelling music. We are 55 minutes into the movie, about half way, but we don't really have a plot yet. Oh, well, we have sex, costumes and other finery to occupy us.
Jenna and Shayla decide to join the ship's crew, masquerading as men. As the ship sets sail for an uncharted island, Prince Charles II (hilariously played by a foppish, mincing Lee Garland) orders Sir William James (Brad Armstrong), to set sail to kill Captain Jack.
The pirate ship arrives at an island, and is greeted by natives who dance the hula in bright pink plastic grass skirts. Then native women Alex Dane and Kia come forward to suck and fuck three of the deckhands.
Meanwhile, the native chief has presented the captain with his daughter, Asia. This is the first one-on-one sex in the movie, and we liked this scene the best, so we chose to take our break right after this one. This scene lacked natural sound, in favor of music, but the music seemed a good match for the scene, and my husband actually appreciated the slo-mo.
Brad is now out at sea with a crew, and he shares Juli Ashton with a couple of his men.
Jenna seduces Vince on the beach, in slow motion, while sentimental, glorious music plays. Then, after the final confrontation between Vince and Brad, Jenna and Vince kiss on deck, silhouetted by the setting sun.
The sound menu provides options for Spanish, French, and Italian soundtracks. Other extras include photo galleries, a brief interview with Jenna, a Jenna photo shoot, and the usual Wicked trailers and promos. The blooper reel is better than average -- because there were horses and swords involved in the movie, there was a wider variety of screw-ups than the usual muffed lines. The Making of feature also has some good insight to add. The two extended scenes are without dubbed sound, so they seemed way sexier to me than the finished product in the film.
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