Movie Studios >  SubVision Films >  Reviews  > Cock Crazy Quickies 3
Other reviews of this DVD:
No other ADT reviews available.
Write a review for Cock Crazy Quickies 3
Send me an email when there is a new review of Cock Crazy Quickies 3
Cock Crazy Quickies 3
Previews

Cock Crazy Quickies 3

Studio: SubVision Films
Category:  All Sex
Directed by:
Starring: , ,
Released on: 
Where to buy:Streaming/Download
Tongue in Groove's ratings for Cock Crazy Quickies 3:
Overall Rating 1 star
Cock Crazy Quickies 3 overall rating 1 star
Female Looks Cock Crazy Quickies 3 Female looks rating 1 star
Male Looks Cock Crazy Quickies 3 Mael looks rating 1/2 star
Sex Cock Crazy Quickies 3 Sex rating 1 star
 
Plot/Acting Cock Crazy Quickies 3 Plot/Acting rating 0 stars
Extras Cock Crazy Quickies 3 DVD Extras rating 2 stars
Audio/Video Quality Cock Crazy Quickies 3 A/V Quality rating 2 stars
Rating Scale
Reviewed by Tongue in Groove  on  5/9/2004
Ever hear of the expression “bumpin’ uglies”? Well, that’s a perfect description of what’s happening in “Cock Crazy Quickies #3.” Never have so many unsightly people fucked each other on the same video.

Valley Pro must be the porn equivalent to Arena Football. It’s where the over-the-hillers end up when their careers have reached rock bottom. Directors Slain Wayne, Pistol Pete, and Bobby Blain (it took three geniuses to put this together?) must have bad reputations within the jizz biz if this is the only talent they could attract.

Blond Jessica Dee starts blowing Euro dude Joe Monti outside. But he’s so embarrassed by her 30+ looks that he takes her inside to fuck. Her shaven pussy doesn’t add anything to her well-used body. He cums on her face, which is an improvement to her looks.

The only attractive cast member is Jenna Haze, and she’s forced to screw one of the skinniest, palest, ugliest guys ever, Hatman. They meet in a porno shop, then go to an apartment for some boring sex. It’s Beauty and the Beast in Smutland. Man, is he hard to watch! She takes a facial, but it doesn’t save this scene.

Donna Marie, a blond Brit, teams with Dick Nasty, who could easily be her grandfather. The fact that I admire Dick for still getting laid by young girls at his age doesn’t mean I have to enjoy watching him. There’s almost something obscene about seeing him fucking a youngster like this. It’s easier to accept when you see her flabby tits and unsightly belly tat. She takes his tiny cock up her pooper then accepts a weak popshot to her mug.

Vivica Vengeance (the name is as bad as her looks!) gets handyman Steve Nelson to crawl inside her dryer to find out what’s wrong with it. He’s so stupid, he doesn’t see the fucking thing is unplugged. She starts blowing him while his upper torso is inside the machine. Just as well. He doesn’t have to look at her fat body or the ugly tats on her back and between her tits. And she doesn’t have to see his old, bald, tattood bod. Her roomie, Allura Bond, comes home and joins the fun. She’s a tall Brit brunette, downright gorgeous compared to these two bowsers, but definitely a B-lister. Allura takes the facial, then shares it with Vivica.

Brett Rockman has the unfortunate job of doing Princessa next. She’s a heavy-set brunette with a stubbly pussy – always an attractive combination. I think they screwed, ending in a facial, but I kept flipping the remote to find something interesting, like a Discovery Channel documentary on starvation in Upper Mongolia.

Another industry god, Brian Surewood, gets down with Rosanna dela Vega next. She’s no raving beauty, this brown-haired, natural-bodied slut, but she’s head and shoulders above Surewood, whose scraggly hair and cheesy beard comprise a face only a mother could love. Luckily, we don’t have to see much of him since this is strictly a blowjob scene. At least it starts out that way, with her giving him some wonderful head. But Brian being Brian, he feels the need to cock-choke her continuously and make her gag. She nearly vomits at a couple points, and the slobber runs down her face like water over Niagara Falls. He finally ends the misery by shooting a load on her miserable face.

The DVD offers the following extras: Scene Selection, Photo Gallery (who’d want to watch these dogs again?), Website, and Trailers for other Valley Pro flicks (featuring all the ugly women not in C.C.Q.#3).

Bottom line: This is Bow Wow City for all the talent (except Jenna Haze) and, unless you just want to feel better about your own average looks, should be passed over for, say, something starring Ed Powers and three pregnant midgets. Now that’s a frightening thought!



Check Prices for Cock Crazy Quickies 3


The opinions expressed in this review of Cock Crazy Quickies 3 from SubVision Films are not necessarily the opinions of Adult DVD Talk. Adult DVD Talk provides a public forum for consumers to post their DVD reviews. Adult DVD Talk does not edit these reviews.