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Clown Porn (Ramco Productions)

Studio: Ramco Productions
Category:  Fetish
Starring: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Released on: 
Where to buy:DVD RentStreaming/Download
astroknight's ratings for Clown Porn (Ramco Productions):
Overall Rating 3.5 stars
Clown Porn (Ramco Productions) overall rating 3.5 stars
Female Looks Clown Porn (Ramco Productions) Female looks rating 3 stars
Male Looks Clown Porn (Ramco Productions) Male looks rating 2.5 stars
Sex Clown Porn (Ramco Productions) Sex rating 4 stars
 
Plot/Acting Clown Porn (Ramco Productions) Plot/Acting rating 3.5 stars
Extras Clown Porn (Ramco Productions) DVD Extras rating 0 stars
Audio/Video Quality Clown Porn (Ramco Productions) A/V Quality rating 3.5 stars
Worth$15.00
Rating Scale
Reviewed by astroknight  on  6/17/2005

The Little Details

Running Time: 84 min.

Production Date: 2004

Director: Chris Spoto

Cast: Hollie Stevens, Jenna Brooks, Kelly Cornflake, Zenova Braeden, Dave Pounder, Hef Pounder, Sam, Sheldon Unseen, and Travis Lee

The Short Story

Initial Expectations: There’s only two things I know for this one. First, I have a mini-fridge full of beer when I need it. Second, that this one’s for Loraine (and you thought Casey Kasem was the only one who could do long distance dedications!)!

Initial Reaction: It’s as amusing as I hoped rather than being as bad as what I feared it would be.

Who Should Watch It : Anybody wanting a laugh with their porn

Who Should Avoid It: Anybody wanting clown anal

The Technical Stuff

Audio /Video Quality: The technical aspects are pretty well done. The audio is pretty clear and well balanced. There’s a few noises added here and there, but they fit the movie. The video is also pretty well done. There’s just a hint of grain and a little camera motion, but for the most part it’s nicely lit. There’s a few effects added in that go between helping the movie and hurting it, but there’s also some nicely done editing.

Music: The music is a mix of circus music, porn music, and bagpipes. It’s a bit on the loud side, but fits the movie great.

Disc Complaints: The DVD has some odd authoring. If you choose to just watch the movie, you get the entire movie on one chapter. If you choose a scene, each scene has its own chapter. It’s pretty lamebrained authoring as the movie appears to be on the DVD twice.

Menus: After a great message from Ramco Productions about quality, things move into the main menu. It’s simple and has only some very basic animation. If not for the message before it, I’d say that it didn’t give the best first impression for the DVD, but the message opening it up was just too good! The chapter menu is pretty basic, and lets you choose a scene based on a small still and a title for the scene.

The Feature

After their lovemaking is interrupted by a roving gang of clowns who subject her man to several cream pies (the kind that come in tin pie plates, not the normal porno kind), the gang turns their attention to Hollie. Soon after, Rod Swerling leads you on a journey through the love lives of clowns. Clowns need love too, and they’re not satisfied with just their own kind...

Scene 1 - Hollie Stevens, Hef Pounder, and Sheldon Unseen

Ever since she was a little girl, Hollie has hated clowns. It probably had something to do with her circus experience, but as she grew up, so did her thoughts. When the clowns come for her with the duct tape and hood, she reminds them that if they tape her mouth she won’t be able to suck their hard clown dicks. They quickly come over to her way of thinking, and she goes right to work sucking cock with Sheldon (who’s sporting a bald white head with a little black cap) before moving over to suck rainbow afro sporting Hef’s cock. Hef moves down to risk leaving his grease paint all over Hollie’s inner thighs eating her, and even brings out Fred “The Wonder Chicken” as he warms her up. He continues to let Fred have a little nipple fun with Hollie as she rides Sheldon reverse cowgirl and sucks his cock. Hollie gets between the clowns for Hef to fuck her doggie style and then lies back on the bed to clown around missionary style. They go back for a little more doggie action before Sheldon and Hef give Hollie a small pearl necklace over the grease paint smudges and leave her with a face full of cream.

This is a very good opening. Hollie puts some nice energy into taking on the clowns, and the scene has plenty of humor to it. The camera work is well done, and it’s edited together nicely with some fun angles. There’s a few color tints that were added that didn’t work the best for me, but overall this scene was surprisingly well done.

Scene 2 - Jenna Brooks and Hef Pounder

When Hef goes to the door to greet his blind date from the internet, he’s more than surprised to find that it’s orange haired clown Jenna. After dinner at an Italian restaurant and a walk on the beach, they head back to Hef’s place for a little weed. Soon after, Jenna’s seeing how far she can take his cock into her mouth and stretched out on his couch to see how far Hef can push his cock past her other set of lips. Jenna also gets on all fours for Hef to fuck her doggie style while pulling on her orange braids and hips. They keep it going with a bit of reverse cowclowngirl, spooning, and pile driver. Finally, Hef shoots his white creamy load across Jenna’s tight black stomach.

This is another good scene, but not quite as good as the opening scene. The blind date opening is quite amusing, and Hef’s nerdy clothes (complete with flood pants) is just as good as Jenna’s clown costume. The look to be having some good fun in the scene at times, but at other times the chemistry seems to falter. This is an above average scene that’s still a lot of fun.

Scene 3 - Hollie Stevens and Zenova Braeden

Pink wigged she-clown Zenova gets it on with blur haired and balloon hat wearing Hollie next after she gets her makeup put on around her mouth. They kiss before Zenova drops down to work on Hollie’s twat with her tongue and a vibrator. Hollie has Zenova strip down for her before kissing her way around her ass and giving her a little attention with the rubber chicken. Hollie gets out the vibrator for a little light play before kissing and playing with some whipped cream. They rub it around a little before sharing a double dildo in a couple positions. Afterwards, they share a pair of cream pies.

This scene hovers around the average mark, and frequently flips below it. The scene has a nice variety of lesbo action, but the scene often had a flat feel. Hollie does a very nice job once again, but Zenova often seems like she’s holding back or doesn’t know what to do. I wouldn’t be surprised if this was her very first scene, and I guess I’m happy that if it is she’s paired with somebody like Hollie who looks like she’s having a good time. This scene didn’t do a lot for me.

Scene 4 - Hollie Stevens, Zenova Braeden, and Dave Pounder

Dave isn’t the happiest when room service ignores the “Do Not Disturb” sign on his door. He’s not sure what he should feel when he opens the door to find blue haired clown Hollie and pink haired clown Zenova as the room service. The girls push him back on the bed and he quickly feels Hollie’s hand and mouth wrapped around his cock, after she spits out her gum of course. Zenova quickly jumps in to help warm Dave up orally, and the girls trade back and forth to work him over before Hollie gets on all fours and lets Dave fuck her from behind as she plays with Zenova and leaves grease paint all around her pussy. Since Dave would hate to make a clown sad, he moves over to fuck Zenova missionary style as Hollie works on her tits. The clowns reward him by ting him to the lamps on either side of the bed before Hollie climbs up to ride him reverse cowclowngirl style. Finally, the clowns share a facial and even a kiss with a bit of cum between them before creaming on Dave’s face.

This is a pretty hot scene. The opening is fun and Hollie and Zenova definitely work better with a dick between them than without. This one left me with a completely different feeling for Zenova. She did a good job here, and left me feeling that the first scene was a gay-for-pay scene. When she could take on a dick and just let Hollie work on her, she did just fine. There’s a pretty good balance between the girls here, and there’s some nice chemistry with Dave. I like the light bondage here, and this might be my favorite scene in the movie.

Scene 5 - Kelly Cornflake, Sam “The Package”, Travis Lee, and Hef Pounder

Brunette Kelly’s adopted father is a clown. When she’s back from “College” she heads to the shower after reading “Book”. She can’t resist letting her hands work over her fantastic natural body in the shower, and she nicely takes her time pulling on her short shorts when she gets dressed afterwards. When her drunk clown Daddy forgets his lunch, she heads down to Clown Headquarters to bring it to him and somehow ends up on everybody’s favorite game show, Fuck That Clown. When Hef correctly lists the seven dwarfs, he wins a blowjob. Although Kelly wasn’t there to suck cock, she eagerly mouths his meat. She lets Hef guide her with her pigtails and mixes in a little stroking as she works him to a decent pop in and around her mouth.

Travis is next, who looks like he idolizes both KISS and Elvis by his costume and makeup. After he correctly answers how many nipples a camel has, he gets the pleasure of fucking Kelly. She bends over and lets him go right to nailing her from behind. After a couple minutes of decent pumping, Travis spews his seed onto Kelly’s back.

After a little Mime Time, Kelly is blindfolded and gets to play “Mystery Fuck” with Sam, her adopted clown dad. Kelly lies on a big white ball and bends over it for Sam to “fuck her”. Finally, there’s a packing peanut pop.

This is a very good end to the movie. Kelly is one heck of a cutie, and I hope to see more of her in the future. I kind of like how it split up the foreplay and the fucking between two different guys, and for those worried about the “incest” at the end, it’s done very tastefully. I highly doubt there was every any penetration, and it’s done more as a joke than anything. The highlight of the scene is the Mime Time, but that’s something you really have to see for yourself. Words alone can’t describe it. This is a good scene to finish up the movie.

It’s hard not to like a movie that starts out with “No Clowns were harmed during the filming of this motion picture... However, two goats and a chicken have gone missing”. That kind of humor continues throughout all of Clown Porn, and as much as part of me wanted to run away (or at least grab a few brownies to enjoy with it), I couldn’t tear myself away from it. The movie is just too much fun! Chris Spoto and Ramco definitely wanted to do something different here, and they did it and did it right. The sex is all handled with humor, but it varies a bit from scene to scene. Hollie Stevens and Zenova Braeden easily have the worst scene in the movie, and then redeem themselves in the next scene with Dave Pounder. Clown Porn is something that you have to see to believe, and it’s definitely worth checking out. There was some hot sex in it and I found myself laughing through most of the movie. Going into Clown Porn I was half expecting to be wishing I were cleaning the elephant cages at the circus with a teaspoon instead of watching it, but after watching it all I can say is send in the clowns!

The Extra Stuff

None.

The Down -n- Dirty Sex Stuff

Themes: Straight, clowns, group, interracial, lesbian, toys, food play, masturbation

Raincoat Factor: Medium high

Condom Usage: None

The Bottom Line:

Currently, many of Old Pueblo’s DVDs can be found online for between about $15 and $22 with many stores offering them for under the $20 mark. This one’s definitely worth a rental at the very least, and possibly even a purchase. It’s something I would definitely recommend getting as a gift for that person who has everything, or maybe just to slip in with their Christmas presents or as a wedding gift when you know the person will have their parents and grandparents there to watch them open it. The sex is okay, but the movie is hilarious. The technical aspects have a few minor faults, and sadly there’s no extras. This is a very amusing porno that’s sadly on a DVD that doesn’t show a lot of effort.

Note to Old Pueblo: This DVD needed a gag reel and behind the scenes sooooooooo bad for extras!

If you have any questions or comments, please e-mail me .

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