Running Time: 103 min.
Production Date: 12 / 12 / 2011
Director: B. Skow
Cast: Chyna, Lisa Ann, Valerie Kay, Alex Sanders, Anthony Hardwood, Cyrus King, Evan Stone, Justin Magnum, Lee Stone, Marco Banderas, Ralph Long, Ron Jeremy, Sledge Hammer, T.J. Cummings, and Tommy Pistol
Audio /Video Quality: The technical aspects are pretty average. The audio is average at best with plenty of voiceovers that come across clearly. The video is presented in anamorphic widescreen and is nothing to write home about. It's fairly clear and decently lit, but there's a fair amount of camera motion along with very choppy editing.
Watermark Warning: Chyna is Queen of the Ring has the usual Vivid watermark in the lower right corner. It's small, fairly tasteful (if a watermark can be such a thing), and stays stationary making it easy to put out of mind. Although I can't say that I like to see watermarks, if a company feels that's what they have to do in order to protect their product I hope they can keep them as tasteful as Vivid does here.
The Movie: Vince (Lee Stone) has it all figured out on how to make his next buck, this time having Chyna take on wrestlers sexually in Fucklemania 2012. She's expecting to get a little extra out of this one, but then he twists things on her letting her know that he added one last match with two guys, one she can make cum and the other she can't. If she plays ball, he'll make sure to double her rate.
|Scene 1 – Chyna, Lisa Ann, and Lee Stone|
After Lee (Vince) lays out his plan for the match, Chyna has him and his daughter Lisa Ann get down on their knees. As Lee plays with her pussy Lisa Ann sucks her tits before Chyna gets in the middle to suck Lee while Lisa Ann eats her from below. Chyna turns around to eat Lisa Ann as Lee pounds her from behind and stays in the middle for him to fuck her missionary and in both cowgirls with Lisa Ann moving off a bit to play with herself and watch. Finally Lee lets go with a decent load over Chyna's big titties.
|Scene 2 – Chyna, Anthony Hardwood, Cyrus King, Justin Magnum, Marco Banderas, Ralph Long, Sledge Hammer, T.J. Cummings, and Tommy Pistol|
After Justin Magnum (Bret Hart), Marco Banderas (The Iron Sheik), TJ Cummings (John Cena), Sledge Hammer (The Rock), Cyrus King (Steve Austin), Ralph Long (as a Clown wrestler), and Anthony Hardwood (Triple H) make their entrances with Tommy Pistol (Mean Gene) doing the introductions, Chyna makes her entrance and checks out her competition in the ring. It doesn't take long for her to be on her knees sucking her way around the guys before letting Marco have the first fuck as he takes her from behind. It isn't too long before Chyna has a load on her face, and the guys keep going taking her from behind. Chyna also gets in a reverse cowgirl ride for each of her holes before going back to just having them fuck her pussy. Tommy rushes in for a quick knob gobbling before going back to commentating, and makes sure to keep moving in and out as the guys spoon her and fuck her missionary style. They keep fucking her as the guys cum on her face and tits, and finishes things off with her taking a few more loads on her face and tits.
|Scene 3 – Chyna, Valerie Kay, and Ron Jeremy|
Backstage, ring girl Valeria gets busy with Ron. She lets hm kiss her and suck her tits before laying back on a table for him to eat and play with her bald beaver. Valerie rolls over and lets Rom continue to eat and play with her before letting him fuck her from behind with his floppy cock. The scene cuts away for Evan and Alec to be introduced, and when it comes back Chyna and Ron are teaming up on Valerie orally while she lays back on the table. As soon as Chyna gets her mouth near Ron's cock Valerie runs away faster than a politician from a tax cut leaving them to play together orally a bit. Ron manages to get a bit more wood to fuck Chyna missionary style before before he pulls out to pop on her bush. After he finishes she drops down to suck the last bit from his cock.
|Scene 4 – Chyna, Alex Sanders, and Evan Stone|
After Evan and Alex run around the ring a bunch bouncing off the ropes, Chyna moves in to roll through the ring from one side to the other. The scene cuts back to her sucking her way between the guys before letting them fuck her from behind while the other sucks her as well as spooning her. Evan spoons Chyna's ass while she throats Alex before the guys trade places. Chyna takes some nice ass to mouth after Evan taps her ass doggie style, and lets him keep working her ass over spooning it and fucking it missionary style. Alex eventually disappears to let Evan fuck his way between her holes, only to come back and pop on her face. Finally Evan pops on Chyna's face as well while she looks up at him with wide open eyes.
Chyna is Queen of the Ring is one of those parodies that seems like it was much better as an idea on paper than it is fully developed. There's some great ideas here, and the commentary by Tommy Pistol (who rocks as Mean Gene and turns out another performance showing why he should be a strong contender for Best Actor) is laugh out loud funny. Unfortunately, the sex is just as bad as the commentary and setup is good. Lisa Ann is all but wasted in the opening scene, and Valerie Kay looks like she'd rather be cleaning the floors with her tongue at a year's worth of Wrestlemanias than spend another moment in the movie. Although Chyna's the big draw here, I was far from impressed with her. She doesn't do a bad job in the opening scene, but she mugs the camera horribly through the rest of the movie and brings virtually zero chemistry. She like she's completely overwhelmed during the gangbang, and like she'd rather it be done almost as soon as it starts. She does show some very impressive deep throat skills, and submissively takes Evan balls deep, as well as giving up the ass pretty well, but that isn't nearly enough to save the sex in the movie. The overall camera work and editing also left a lot to be desired for me. Although I know many love his style, B. Skow's style can often come across as a bit rough for me. If his normal work is akin to 220 grit sandpaper, Chyna is Queen of the Ring is more like 40 grit. It feels choppy and sloppy, and when it appears that some of your cast can't wait to get out of the movie that only makes things worse. Chyna is Queen of the Ring can be easily skipped unless you're a big fan of Chyna or professional “wrestling”.
The Extras: Trailers are included for four other Vivid releases. The photo gallery lasts about three minutes. There's also a behind the scenes featurette, a bonus scene, cumshot recaps, and commercials.
The behind the scenes featurette lasts about twenty minutes. After about five minutes capturing fun around the set, you get a bit of “Fluffer Cam” with a bit of POV blowjob action from Valerie Kay and another girl. This is an okay featurette. The blowjob action is decently captured, but the fun around the set seems a bit limited and thrown together. With a cast like this in a movie like this I couldn't help but expect a lot better than this for a behind the scenes featurette. Rather than being hot and fun, it comes off as a fairly convoluted mess (much like the main feature).
|Bonus Scene – Chyna and Brendon Miller|
The bonus scene comes from Avengers XXX. Brendon (Thor) talks with Chyna (She-Hulk) about his situation on Earth before she moves in to kiss him. He throws her back on the bed to eat and finger her green pussy before Chyna sucks his cock in return while giving him some great eyes. Brendon fucks Chyna doggie style before she gets on top for a reverse cowgirl ride. They also spoon before Brendon busts a nice creamy load over Chyna's tongue and jade face.
Condom Usage: None
Final Thoughts: Skip it unless you're an extreme “wrestling” fan
Note to Vivid: I know Chyna sells movies, but I hope you can get her something better than this in the future.
If you have any questions or comments, please e-mail me.
Other reviews by Astroknight