Purchase Recommendation: [6/6]
Overall Rating: [5/6]
Breast to Breast is a compilation that has little to do with breasts per se, despite its title and description. Some of the episodes, and especially the add-ons at the end of the disc, must have been filmed in the 1980s, or before. If they were not, this says something about the crew, no doubt. Are you as wary of compilations as we are? Fear not. This particular compilation is a must-have for any fetishist fan of older women. No, this DVD is not advertised as an older women DVD, whilst it definitely should have. There is one series on the market, entitled Older and Lesbian, and it does not even hold a candle to this particular DVD. Why, the passion and wild feline aggression of several scenes included here simply blinds most of older women DVDs out of space, sorry as we are to say this. This comment, of course, does not apply to any DVD from the Girlfriends Films label. They set the standard for this genre. As we shall elaborate at length, Breast to Breast is largely wife-friendly. An unexpected comment? Wait and you shall hear. The only reason why you may be not advised to buy this disc is the image quality. If you are a digital freak and prefer form to content, forget about it. You might be better off with Andrew Blake's work, or anything with the ice queens like Aria Giovanni and Tera Patrick. We'll stay where we are. Content is king. And what content? Smoking hot older women in heat, foot fetish (oral sex performed on high heels!), long, deep oral penetration filmed from every angle with enough detail to kill the power in the house, analingus, kissing, and plenty of goodhearted fun. We even forgave the appearance of the Hairy Cameraman Demon(TM) in one episode. See? We're generous folks, we are.
There are no credits associated with particular scenes (insert a random Old Norse swearword here), hence even though we were able to identify some of the ladies, the majority, to us, remain anonymous. Pity.
Sooooo, put your wife between your legs and... Oh, what a momentary lapse of style. Let us begin anew. Embrace your dear wife, hold her tight, and turn on the DVD player. Watch for your teeth, though, for your damsel will burst out laughing many a time, that we guarantee. Ready? The opening scene features three gals celebrating some event with a lesbian orgy. A threesome, to be precise. Your wife should be smiling already, and soon enough, the girls proceed to fornication. Ahem! A thirtysomething damsel begins sucking the other one's toes. An impressive display of well-shaped legs, too. Oh yeah, the wifely womenfolk never understood the joy of a good toe suck, did they? Whilst you grow in size, she begins to giggle, and you no longer know whether to hang your eye on one girl kissing her friend, or the other, slowly licking her legs. As usual with threesomes, only one gal is actually born to suck, whereas others do not quite know how to get out of an awkward position. Where's the blood circulation? And does she know that it easiest to be decapitated in this position?
So you talk to your wife, and whilst you do, the damsels exchange positions as if they couldn't settle for one pussy deal or another. And then you go deaf. Didn't we warn you, Sire? Your wife collapses with laughter when the eighteenth-century-hairdo-ed damsel begins to strain her vocal chords in the loudest orgasm ever filmed. Is high C your forte, or your piano? Damned if we know. We told you we had gone deaf, no? Meg Ryan could take lessons from this curly blonde! If your wife does not welcome you this night with
Take me, Your Lordship!, we shall eat our boots.
Already humored, your wife should settle in, for a romantic sequel is now due. Filmed exclusively from behind a rope curtain (made of green ass plugs???), this episode is just as hilarious, although loads more silent. Two dark-haired ladies assist one blonde, teasing her, kissing her, licking her ears, and all that girly stuff we love so much to see, but few of us understand our frauen enough to give them what they want. They merely fondle the lucky blonde, and she does get wet, visibly, and you curse aloud the freaking rope curtain that continues to wave, and wave, and wave, much as your member would have waved if it were not for your wife wriggling in laughter between your legs. Soooo, a prelude, and a good shot of a nice rack is all there is to it? Be patient, say we. It isn't long after the blonde becomes more active, and to the accompaniment of some New Age oriental music, she explores the backside of the brunette. It would have been hot if not for the damned rope that so cheered your wife. Eh.
If your wife is not fond of analingus, it is time for her to get some tea. Now, mind, do not let her go to sleep yet; there's some fun later she would hate to miss. Two older damsels are filmed in a dark, shaded room. They appear green, too, which reminds us of the infernal quality of Solo Over Forty: Volume 1, a masturbation video from the consistently poor Channel 69. This is a hardcore episode, and if you like your damsels rough, this is for you. Nipples are sucked, and they are sucked hard. After a short kiss, the younger blonde dives inbetween the older woman's legs, and does she perform! Whenever the recipient of her wild explorations moves a bit for comfort, she tosses her mane of curly hair, and without so much of a breather, she dives into the ass hole again. Usually, when analingus is filmed, it does not quite appear natural. Not here. This girl must have been born through the asshole, as it is perfectly natural for her. This scene is very, very hot, and may you get through it in one piece... The best moment is when the blonde continues to dive with her tongue, and drill in there, whilst the older woman masturbates with three and then four fingers.
Say, did you know that you actually have a rewind button? Usually, people complain that the fast-forward button is at work all too often. If you like your anal sex oral, you will love this DVD. The girls reverse gears, and at long last, when you can take the goods no more, the toys come, the first time for real on the disc. Big, too. The sex is very raunchy, and wild, and if your wife comes finally back, you might try to talk her into some delicate oil wrestling. Seeing that the woman is all wet, this is only right and proper. Several closeups later, the girls disengage, and you... you, my friend, shall experience the boner of your life.
Yes, indeed. A boner the size of a fucking Eiffel Tower. Hearken ye, o foot fetishist! This -- this is your paradise. Welcome, son. Welcome home.
Would it sound too corny if we confided that the older damsel -- whose name, to our despair, we do not know -- is one of the sexiest women we have ever seen? No, she is not doll-beautiful as you are used to in this business or other. She is womanly and feminine as we like'm. Exactly as we do. And oh, just a glimpse of hear breast later, and you are already beside yourself. Having disposed of your wife's body, through whom you have pierced with your Eiffel Tower, you continue watching the scene of your life. Shoe Sex. Slow. Thorough. Oral. Red tongue on red boots. High heels. Didn't this scene give a new meaning to the toe sucking fetish? Dying of excitement ten times per minute, after years and years of pure fetish, you embrace yourself against a new challenge. The camera zooms out, you catch your breath as your mind barely registers what goes round and around, and that, dear friend, is the tongue whirling circles on the heel spike itself. The damsel actually takes it all in. And you are a dead man standing.
Hard as it is to write about this episode, we continue, martyrs of our own fetish. Pure bliss, having all imaginable primary fetishes satisfied in one go, is it not? The owner of the red shoes appears to us in her full glory, with her full mouth ready to kiss. And kissed she shall be, or else! First, though, her adorable nipples are moisturized, and although a tempting image it is, you cannot help but look hard at her mouth. Oh, so now you learn you have a mouth fetish, eh? Hmm, why not. And so it comes, at long last. They kiss, and they kiss deep. See? We told you. This single episode is worth all the money you spend on overadvertised lacklustre crap.
The girls shortly disengage, and then the lovely older damsel is set on her kneels, with her face buried in the muff. A heartstopping oral scene ensues. Very, very wild. Wild! She looks, she sucks, she kisses, she drags the petals around, and again, and again, ad infinitum it seems, until your wife, if she is still around, must administer some valium to the poor chap that you are. Hilarious, just hilarious. Thank you, whoever you are, for giving us this genius scene. And the wild performer, whoever she is, becomes our dear favorite. This picture will haunt us for years. That is exactly what we are looking for in lesbian films featuring older women. The beauty and the beast. Women dead certain of their sexuality; women with temperament. Alas, all good things must end, as the late George Harrison was fond of saying.
Ashley Renee, who does not know her? Still beautiful, although awfully worn, she used to be our favorite bondagette until we discovered the ladies from the stable of Harmony Concepts and American Damsels. Ashley -- she isn't cut for lesbian sex; that is evident. Twenty seconds of pussypicking, and she is off and away. Paired with the average-looking older woman, Ashley performs in one of the most ridiculous episodes we have ever seen. Guess who was invited? The Hairy Cameraman Demon(TM), that's right. This... this thing appears on and off, and sometimes he is the only thing we see in this video. There is one more girl, who doesn't participate, but she is apparently learning how to use a camera. Too bad she practices on the Hairy Cameraman Demon(TM) instead of the girls. This episode reminds us of Channel 69. The green, sick-looking colors, too, are a dead giveaway. Anyhow, the little sex there is -- is, to repeat, ridiculous. Ashley performs the worst orgasm in porn history, until you can take it no more. From up close, she is all too weird. Still, if clad in clothing from head to toe, she might seduce you in a matter of moments, to wrap you around her wrinkled finger. She does have a sex-appeal, still, though extremely uneasy she makes us, too.
-- My dear Watson, what would you say of this?
-- What exactly, sire?
-- Look around, and stop gaping at them girls kissing, and you will see what we mean.
-- A Marilyn Monroe on the wall? What does it have to do with the girls? They don't look alike.
-- Close your eyes. Open them again. Do you see that hairy hand on the wall? Hint: a shadow.
-- Oh, that!
-- The Hairy Cameraman Demon(TM) Let me it explain it to you in plain terms. The hairy monkey-like creature in dark glasses crouched in the corner is the aforementioned Hairy Cameraman Demon(TM) Apparently, he thinks it is sexy when he is being filmed, and even whispers to us when somewhere in the background, and far away, the girls are munching their unshaved bottoms. The other Demon circles around the pale-blue girls, obscuring the light, until the other side of the room is now being filmed, and the colour turns to green. Does that remind of you something, Watson?
-- Channel 69?
-- Exactly. All evidence is in place. But they have put their own work to shame. This, my dear friend, is the masterpiece. That glow you have seen in the corner, is not the alien ship which has landed, but the television set
-- Yes, there is absolutely no doubt about this. Wait about two minutes, and you will see that whilst the girls sweat trying to concentrate, the Hairy Cameraman Demon(TM) of type I films his own shadow, and finally turns to Hairy Cameraman Demon(TM) of type II, who is watching TV in the same room, less than two yards from the girls. Hairy Cameraman Demon(TM) of type I follows where his comrade is looking, and... enter the television set.
-- And feathered. That's what they deserve for this abomination of a video.
What follows then is a quick review of older scenes, outcuttings and snippets from the past. Some are ridiculous, like a womanfriend visiting her butch girl in the prison. At least the ladies were not ugly, and one had nice feet. Other scenes would have been wonderful, if they were not cut so harshly. A lovely MILK, that is -- a mother we would like to kiss before fucking -- is paired with a woman who has never imagined, apparently, that pussies ought to be shaved. Her bush is Australian, indeed. That said, the lovely older damsel wears an outfit that will remind you of your boyhood. An uneasy pleasure, so to speak. She is very sexy, and spreads her shapely legs, taking her womanfriend's head inside her skirt. The ladies are having fun in the kitchen. So now we know what the aunts were up to in the kitchen for hours on end, hehe. We wish. Do you like gloves? We love them.
For the remainder of the disc, very little happens. Some oral, some fondling, some goofing around, and the disc is closed with the anal-to-anal toy connector, when the women fuck one another in an uncomfortable position.--- Em